Abnormally Attracted to Sin

Chapter 2: You Are Off Your Guard

By Persephone's Nautical Nun

I don't have any coursework. None that's currently pressing, anyway. I just didn't want to know what hanging out with Emily included. I mean, we're friendly with each other, don't get me wrong. It's just that we haven't really been alone together very often. I've avoided it, actually. I have no problem with her in a group, but the one on one thought make me slightly queasy.

Interestingly enough, she was my original tie to the group.

If Emily hadn't insisted on Pandora inviting me to her birthday party way back when, she never would have gotten to know Effy. I get along surprisingly well with Effy, actually, mostly because she doesn't feel the need to talk everything to death. Still, she always seems to know when there's something that needs to get out, and on those occasions, she's always said them for me.

Almost like she knows I can only say them once, and she's not the one who's meant to hear them.

Of course, being close to Effy means being close to Cook. Most people think he's a jokester of a manwhore party boy, and they'd be right. But that's not all there is to him. He's shown a lot of insight over the last few years, and he can be really sensitive. Of course, he still makes a joke out of everything, but that just adds to his charm. Nothing is the end of the world with him, and I don't know how anybody gets through life without a friend like him.

I'm amazed they're still not dating. They've been fucking long enough. I mean, I understand there's the whole Freddie thing, but everyone knew that could never work out, including Freddie and Effy. They're both just too broody; they would essentially waste away together, possibly ending it all with a suicide pact.

It just wasn't worth it.

But just because Emily's the reason I have these other connections doesn't mean I've made a great connection with her. Like I said, I don't mind her in groups, she's usually always around. In fact, I even kind of like her in groups, especially when Katie's not around. She's really actually very witty, and sarcastic. She talks about a lot of bands and movies I've never heard of, but they all sound really interesting, and what I've heard of her music has been really cool and unique.

I just don't think I want it all in my life on a regular basis, you know?

"Hey!" Someone's calling me. I stop and look around, spotting Cook across the street. He's waving at me, and jogs over to me when I see him. He hugs me in greeting when he reaches me, just like he always does.

"Hey, Cook," I say, smiling, happy to see him.

He takes a step back and looks me up and down, a sly grin pulling at the corners of his lips. "Making the walk of shame, then?"

"Excuse me?" I ask, before looking down at myself. Oh, fuck. I had forgotten I was wearing Emily's clothes.

"Yeah, I saw you leave with Emily last night," he says, smiling wider and gesturing to my outfit. "You two finally get it on?" He puts his hands behind his head and thrusts his pelvis once or twice.

"Fuck off," I say, hitting him playfully in the shoulder. "It's not like that, and you know it. I just wasn't feeling well last night, so she let me stay at her place."

"Right, you weren't feeling well," he chuckles. "What's with the getup, then?"

I sigh, and look away. "I didn't have any clean clothes; she lent me some of hers."

"Yeah," he says, lighting a cigarette. "They suit you." He eyes me up and down once more.

"Right," I say, rolling my eyes. "I am currently the picture of feminine beauty."

"The pants are a little short." He takes a long drag on his cigarette, probably just to show off. Nearly a quarter of it turns to ash. "So, I was on my way to meet Effy at this pub around the corner. Care to join?" he asks, extending his arm.

It's hard not to fall into Cook's plans. He's just so happy and cheerful that it's hard not to be happy and cheerful around him. With a smile and a nod, I take his arm. "Absolutely," I say.

He wasn't joking when he told me the pub we were going to was right around the corner. Sometimes I wonder if he's made it a point to discover all the pubs and clubs in the area, and rotate them so that we never get bored of a location. It's actually quite clever, because it keeps routine from setting in. It took an entire year of hanging out with Cook before I saw the same club again. I actually really liked the one we all went to last night, but I don't think we'll go back there for a while.

Maybe I'll go check it out on my own, sometime. The music they played was… intense.

Cook sets up at a large table near the door, so that anyone who walks in can easily see us. I don't know why he bothers. Effy's not stupid, she'd be able to find us no matter where we were. I think he might just like the attention. Always has to be the center of everything.

"What time is Effy supposed to be here, anyway?" I ask, sitting down on one of the stools surrounding the table.

As if on cue, Effy walks through the door. I wonder sometimes if she waits outside the entrance of the place and eavesdrops for any good entrance moments. I really wouldn't be all that surprised.

"Hey, babe," Cook exclaims, hugging her in greeting like he did with me.

She offers him a small smile. "Hi, Naomi," she says, looking at me while sitting down.

"Effy," I say, nodding my head. Nothing else is really necessary at this point.

"Alright, I'll go get us drinks," Cook explains before bounding off towards the bar. I try to tell him I only want water, but he's not listening to me.

I can feel Effy watching me, studying me. It really makes fucking sense that she went into psychology. Analyzing people is like a hobby to her. "Stayed with Emily?" she asks.

"Yes," I say with a straight face. Effy and I have this unspoken game, where she tries to get me to slip over my own logic, and convince me that I really have a thing for Emily. I don't, but she thinks it's fun to play, anyway.

I really wish people would just get it through their thick skulls that I'm straight. Just because I'm still single doesn't mean I like to go down on girls. That's just ridiculous. I'm just very… focused on my education.

"How was it?"

I have a choice here. I wish I knew what each of them meant. I could either tell her it went fine, or I could ask her what she's talking about. I'm afraid that if I tell her it went fine, then she'll think we slept together. Which we did, but only technically, and not in any kind of sexual way. Or, if the question is bait, then asking for clarification would only be taking said bait.

I take that back. All communication with Effy is one big chess game.

It's actually kind of fun, to be honest.

Fine. I'll take the fucking bait. Let's see where this goes.

"How was what?" I ask, arching a brow in challenge.

She smiles just a little bit bigger before clarifying. "How was the sex?"

If I had been drinking something, I would have choked on it. Speaking of drinks, where is Cook? As it was, I was really upset that I didn't have a drink, or wasn't smoking anything. I would have even settled for a book in my hands. Anything that I can set down, or move, or slam in reaction, so that my bug eyes are not the only things at my disposal to convey surprise.

"Sorry, I assumed you wanted people to know," she says, eyeing me up and down the same way Cook did.

I sigh, and roll my eyes, and bury my face in my hands all at the same time. I'm an excellent multitasker. "Why do you automatically assume that just because I'm wearing her clothes, bodily fluids were exchanged?"

She shrugs one shoulder and lights a cigarette. "Because you got out of yours."

I chuckle softly, because I fell for it. I didn't need to be so dramatic. "She let me shower. I had nothing else to get into. I wasn't exactly expecting to run into anyone on my way home."

She nods and draws on her cigarette. "So then why are you here, in her clothes?"

I really wish Cook would get back with those drinks. I could sure use one right about now. "Because I ran into Cook, and he invited me." Simple, and to the point. Get anything out of that, Effy Stonem.

"Why didn't you take the bus?"

Oh, fuck sake. "Look," I start, setting my hands flat on the table. "There is nothing between me and Emily. I know she has a crush on me, and has had for years. But I'm not interested in her. Never have been, and never will be." I feel like I'm saying this for the millionth time. Probably because I am.

"Why do you keep her around then?"

That floors me. I thought I was doing so well, but she just had to throw that at me. I never should have played along with this in the first place. I know what she's talking about. Hell, I made a shining example of it this morning by suggesting a rain check with Emily, one I knew I'd never keep. I always make sure I'm just nice enough to her to keep myself in her good graces. It's a fine line, and difficult to walk, and I have no idea why I put forth the effort.

Luckily, Cook saves me by returning with a pitcher and some glasses. Water sounded wonderful when I walked in here, but now I'm for some alcohol. As I'm pouring myself a glass, I look up at him and ask him playfully, "What took you so long? Pretty girl at the bar?"

I have a habit of making comments like these and then glancing discreetly at Effy to see how she feels about it. She never seems to give a shit. In fact, I don't know why I still do it. These two really do seem like they just want to fuck each other periodically and nothing more.

What would that be like, I wonder?

"As a matter of fact, there was," he says, turning back around and waving. I look past him and notice a pretty redhead behind the bar. It's then I notice the napkin sticking out of his back pocket that wasn't there before. That boy will never change, and I think I find that fact reassuring. Everybody needs a constant in their life, right? "I also needed to make a few calls," he explains waving his phone at me before sitting down between me and Effy.

"Who'd you invite?" Effy asks him.

"Ah, ah. It's a surprise," he grins, and I'm suddenly very afraid for whatever he has planned.

"Didn't we all go out and party last night?" I ask, downing half of my glass. I can already feel my brain turning fuzzy, which just goes to prove my point. No way half a pint of beer should be making me feel fuzzy unless I haven't yet recovered from my previous binge. "You really want to start all over again ten hours later?"

"Well, it's the weekend," he says, sounding like a chastised child. "That's what you're supposed to do."

"He's got a point," Effy says, tilting her head in his direction.

We were all heading for an early grave, if you ask me. To hell with it, you only live once, right?

I was finishing off the last of my beer when Katie walked through the door. Why in the hell would Cook invite Katie? We've always hated each other, and there was always tension between Effy and Katie. I think it's a queen bee thing, but you never know with girls like that.

I can tell Effy's thinking the same thing, but only because I know her so well. She's just set her jaw. That's it. Nothing else has changed. But that's how you know that Effy's on edge.

"So it finally happened," Katie says, striding over to our table. "Gotta say, that's a hell of a way to come out, Naomi."

"Excuse me?" I say, slamming my glass down on the table.

"Didn't take you nearly as long to turn into a baby dyke as it did my sister. You must be a quick study."

Okay, I am getting really tired of this bullshit.

"Is that still what you think of me?"

Oh, fuck. Emily's here.

This is bad.

Katie has the decency to look ashamed as she turns around. "That's not what I mean, Emsy," she says coaxingly, reaching out to her.

Emily's not listening to her. She doesn't even seem all that bothered by the way her sister was talking about her. It actually seems a lot like she's used to it. Instead, she's looking past Katie, and at me.

Her eyes are hard to read. I don't know if she's angry, or sad, or just plain indifferent. I try to look away from her. I try to look both guilty and innocent at the same time. I start to feel sick again, because the only thing I do know is that she knows I've lied to her, and I've hurt her worse than I did this morning.

I never meant to. Really I didn't. I just don't think I know how to stop myself.

She shakes her head and smiles sadly, finally looking away from me. She looks at everyone else in turn, first Katie, then Effy, finally coming to rest on Cook. She shrugs at him, and I can almost hear her ask him "what the fuck?"

We all turn to look at Cook, who at least looks outright ashamed of himself. "I didn't think it would turn out like this. Honest."

Emily sighs at that, turns on her heels, and walks out. I can't really say that I blame her. I think for a second about going after her, but I'm not comfortable with what that might mean. Cook's up and after her fairly quickly though, so I'm saved the moral dilemma.

Katie leaves shortly after, not bothering to spare a word for either me or Effy. Can't say I really care, though.

"Well," Effy says when it's just the two of us. She pours me another glass of beer and scoots it in front of me. "That was interesting."