A/N- Greetings people of the Earth and beyond! Here's another chapter of Iggy randomness for you! Please review, if you have requests, comments, compliments, or flames. I'll take anything.

DISCLAIMER!- I wrote this alone, but I got idea help from Spark, and another friend of ours, Veronica. ( Carter-Writes ) They rock! Haha, also, I don't own the Maximum Ride characters. Sadly. Nor do I own The Colony. Also, none of this was meant to offend anybody.

The Many Faces Of Iggy

Going Gangsta and Pantsless Hobos

The house was quiet. Max had taken Nudge and Angel for a fly; Gazzy was working on a bomb. Surprisingly, Iggy wasn't with him; he had gone to Walmart. Iggy had been acting pretty weird lately. I think that the whole mutant-bird-kid thing had finally gotten to his head. Maybe he was going insane. I wouldn't be surprised.

I was spread out on the couch watching The Colony. It was a pretty good show; they'd just made a machete. I'd love to make a machete myself. Although I have to say, the new girl, the logger, was a jerk. I hate her now.

"'Sup homies?"

I started, turning toward the front door.

"What the heck, Iggy? Is it Halloween?"

The guy looked like a total freak. He was trying way too hard to be gangster. His tank top looked normal, even if I was pretty sure he had stolen it out of Max's drawers. But the hat and multiple chains looked ridiculous, and his pants were well below his butt. I swear, they were almost to his knees.

His underwear was powder blue with teddy bears. Cute. And by cute, I mean that I'm going to tease him forever for this.

His shoes were untied and really stupid-looking. And the look on his face cracked me up. Iggy was trying to look tough and cool, but just looked like a poser.

"No. Why?"

I burst out laughing. "You look like a total idiot, dude! Go change before Max gets back and beats you for stealing her shirt."

He frowned at me. "But isn't this normal these days?"

"No. It's stupid. I never needed to know about your teddy bear underwear."

"I'm allowed to wear any kind of panties I want!" Igs was blushing redder than I thought humanly possible.

I cocked an eyebrow, even if he couldn't see it. "I'd be seriously worried if you're wearing 'panties'. Is there something you want to tell me?"

Iggy blushed even deeper and ran back out the door.

Good. My show was getting exciting.

God, Fang was such a constant downer. I kind of liked my pants this low. It probably looked pretty weird, but it was so loose and free. I took off flying, not really caring who saw.

About five minutes later, I was over a city, judging by the noise and the blurs of light that I was able to see. I flew even faster, wanting to be alone and as far from Fang and his negativity as possible.

I was so wrapped up that I didn't notice my pants drooping lower and lower. I didn't notice anything until they fell off, falling the thousands of feet down to the city streets.

Darn. Those were my favorite jeans! Now I have to go home in just my pan-I mean, underwear.

Josh was worried. He had been a hobo since seventh grade, because he was a failure in life, and had never had a girlfriend because nobody loved him. He was very likely to die alone because apparently, chicks found his goatee stupid.

Oh well. Their loss. His goatee was totally hot.

He picked a bit of noodle out of his goatee and absentmindedly ate it, contemplating what he should do now.

Yesterday, he had stolen some sprite from a little kid and chugged it down, getting drunk almost immediately. Drunk and even stupider than usual, he had started to flirt with a mailbox, and when the resident of the house came and yelled at him, Josh called him a fudge-monkey and ran away.

Later, he had gone to a restaurant shirtless, and the waitress told him to get his fat butt out of there, so he licked her face and ran inside, where he jumped up on a table and did the chicken dance. People started to say some rude things to him, so he started to do the hokey-pokey instead. Then this totally ripped guy in a black shirt grabbed him and dragged Josh outside, dumping him in the alley and ordering him to never come back again.

After that, he saw an alley cat, and started to fervently make out with it, when a couple of guys with sticks came and beat him up and stole his pants. Josh writhed in pain for a while before passing out from being so gosh-darn drunk from that sprite.

So here he was, sitting in an alley, noodles in his goatee, no pants on, one heck of a hangover, and the alley cat he had made out with had run away to boot.

Josh needed some pants.

Then, out of nowhere, a pair of skinny jeans fell out the sky and hit Josh the Hobo in the head, knocking him down, because he wasn't exactly strong.

Josh held up the pants, looked up at the sky, and shouted to the heavens, "PRAISE THE LORD! PANTS!"

Then, he heard a faint whisper behind him.

"You're a faaaaiiiiilllluuureee…"

Josh the Hobo paniced. "What? Who are you?"

The voice answered in another harsh whisper.

"I'm the ghost of ffaaaaiiiillllll….."

Josh was scared. He dropped the pants like they were made of cockroaches, and ran out of the alley as fast as his filthy legs could take him.

The girl behind him turned to her friend. "I can't believe that worked, Spark!"

The wizard-and-Autobot-clad girl nodded wisely to the other, who was wearing plaid pajama pants and handmade jewelry.

A third girl walked up behind them and ruined the moment, picking up the pants. She had on a medival cape and gypsy sash.

"Hey, Veronica, do you want the pants? Maybe you can lure Iggy to come back to your basement with 'em."

She nodded, took the pants, and then Spark got a worried look.

"Uh, guys? It's still in third-person mode. We're stealing fic time!"

They all got wide eyed, then the girl with a cape pulled out a keyboard. It had no screen, but she typed in 'END FIC' with the speed of a regular at the computer.

And then the world went black, and the words you are reading disappeared.