A/N- Hola peoples! Today, I'm skipping 2 and a half of my morning classes because somebody scheduled an orthadontist appointment for 8:45 on a school day, while I have to be at school at 7:20.

But can't deny, sleeping in for an hour and forty-five minutes felt good. Love it!

Anyways, I'm getting my braces off soon, probably within a month. I'm so excited! It's been roughly two years. I got them on on November 23, 2008. I only remember because it was the day before Thanksgiving and I ate the biggest meal of the year with sore, scratchy teeth. Yeah. Great pain.

Okay, I think I'm about done ranting now… we might as well start the story.

"DIS!" "CLA!" "IMER!" – I do NOT own Maximum Ride. If I did, I'd be writing another book, not fanfiction. Also, even if you readers are probably starting to get very sick of it, I must give credit to Spark and Veronica for creative help. I wrote it all, but they came up with some good ideas. To quote KD, "I LOVE YOU!"

Note- This was started a month ago and finished now. My braces come off in about two weeks, and the 18th of October is my birthday! Woooo, I'm older!

*off in distance* 'Hide, I don't care if I'm rambling! Do I have to get the soap again? 'Cuz I'll do it, don't you think that just because Spark isn't here you're safe!

Haha, I have to go now peoples. I need to find a nice-sized bar of soap to throw in a giant alien robot's plasma cannon. Have a nice day!

Toaster Troubles

Stupid toaster. I smacked it, wanting my dang toast already. It had been toasting that bread for almost five minutes now, and it still wasn't done!

"Iggy! Five o'clock incoming!"

I didn't even think. I spun around just in time to kick a Flyboy in the face. I was pretty sure it was the face, unless his neck had grown a nose.

It felt weirdly good to be fighting for my life again. Dr. Martinez's was nice and all, but it just wasn't me, to sit in a safe house and relax. I had to be on the run and tense at all times.

Yeah, weird.

I started to yell at them, just for the fun of it, as I kicked Flyboy butt.

"GET THE YELLOW LLAMAS AWAY FROM MY TOASTER! I'VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS PARTICULAR TOAST, AND NO DIRTY ROTTEN LITTLE PURPLE PIG LIKE YOU IS GONNA KEEP ME FROM IT!"

I'm pretty sure that my random shouting slowed them down at the very least, and I have to admit, I barely understood what I was saying myself. I have to feel a bit sorry for those Flyboys. Of course, not sorry enough that I let them off easy. Haha! As if.

I got in a good roundhouse and followed up with a punch to the stomach. I stood still for a second, panting. I couldn't hear anybody, except of course the Flock around me.

"That it? Are they gone?" I hated not knowing exactly what was going on.

"Yeah." I heard Max cough a bit.

I heard a slight twanging sound, and without thinking, I spun around and karate-chopped the counter where it had come from. Destroying my beloved toaster and the toast that had just popped out.

I picked it up and cried, cradling my toaster like a baby.

"Hey, guys, guess what I got!" I yelled, skipping into the house, carrying a huge cardboard box.

From the sound of their breathing and iCarly, they were clustered around the TV. Evidently, they hadn't heard me, because nobody said anything. I shrugged and bounced into the kitchen, not wanting to interrupt iCarly. That is one seriously dramatic show and I didn't want to ruin their viewing experience.

I barely managed to set the box down without crushing my toes; it was super heavy and maybe four feet tall. I twirled in a few circles, snatched a knife off the counter, yelled and cried for ten minutes because I grabbed the blade, and finally, leaned over the box, prepared for the cut. The Opening Of The Box!

With one big swipe, I cut off the tape. I also cut off a thumb, but that was irrelevant as I held up the contents, gazing at them in wonder and awe. This was the best day of my life.

"PRAISE THE LORD!" I yelled. "A NEW TOASTER!"

I set it gently down on the counter and plugged it in with care. I fingered the edge lovingly. Being blind, I was unable to see that since this was a 4 – slot toaster, what I thought was the edge was actually the middle. Within three seconds, my hand was jammed in the toaster. As I flailed, yelling for help, I accidentally pressed down the start button.

It was a good three minutes before the toaster stopped toasting my fingers, and by then, I was lying on the ground, passed out from lack of blood after chewing my arm off like a coyote.