Seeing no way around his grandfather's question, Dresden decided to brazen it out. "Sir, this is Bob the skull. Bob, this is Ebenezer McCoy."
"So nice to meet you," Bob said in his usual chipper voice. "Before you obliterate me you should know that your grandson thinks the world of you. If it wasn't for your guidance, I honestly feel he would have turned to Black Magic years ago.
"Bob don't be ridiculous, no one is going to hurt you," Dresden told him. Then he looked over at his grandfather's face and realized he was about to lose one of his best friends.
"Justine DuMorne told me that he had found the shattered remnants of this thing in Kemmler's old fortress. But he kept it instead, didn't he?" Ebenezer asked coldly. "And then you stole it from DuMorne before his house burned down. Do you have any concept of how dangerous that skull is?"
Heinrich Kemmler was considered one of the worst necromancers ever to rebel against the White Council. He had been killed not once, but several times over the course of a hundred years. The warlock had even played a major role in starting the First World War, and one of the main reasons for his improbable success was his use of Bob's vast repository of magical knowledge.
"No, not at first," Dresden answered truthfully. "Bob has all the knowledge he gained while studying with Kemmler locked away. I allowed him to access that part of himself once, and it completely changed his behavior. He almost killed me."
"I know you won't believe this Mr McCoy, but I truly hate that knowledge and how it twists and corrupts my personality. I would prefer that it remained untouched forever," Bob explained.
"But you really don't have any choice in the matter, do you?" Ebenezer asked. "Whoever controls the skull controls you, and they can force you to answer any questions they want."
"Yes, I am afraid you are correct," Bob admitted.
"Defeating Kemmler took the Council decades and cost us the lives of over thirty Wardens, many of whom were close friends of mine. As long as this thing exists there is a chance that a new necromancer could rise up to take Kemmler's place, and that would be a disaster for whole world. I'm sorry Hoss, but it has to be done," the old wizard said as he raised his outstretched hand in the air.
"My Za Lord, my Za Lord they are coming!" a large drew drop fairy shouted as it flew through one of the open windows and began buzzing around the library with its dragonfly wings.
Instead of crushing Bob, Ebenezer gently seized the small pixie and placed him on the table. "Is this another friend of ours?"
"Yeah, we go way back. This is Toot-toot. He used to help me out with my investigations back in Chicago, and he agreed to keep watch over the farm tonight," Dresden replied before turning to fifteen-inch tall fairy. "Now who exactly is coming this way?"
"The undead!" Toot shrieked. "Thousands of them!"
"That is impossible," Dresden said. "Ebenezer has lived in this part of Missouri for centuries, and if were was an army of zombies around here he would know about it."
"It happened just an hour ago!" Toot shouted. "A tall wizard caused a cloud of horrible death to spread over the small city on the other side of that mountain."
"Nerve gas," Ebenezer muttered. "The Red Court Vampires used it against us during the war, so it shouldn't be surprising that the Black Council would use it here too. Sweet Lord, are you sure everyone in Branson is dead?"
Toot nodded his small head at a furious pace. "All the people fell to the ground, and when they stood up again they were undead!"
"That town had a population of over five thousand people, and now they are marching up Route 65 as zombies?"
"Yes!" Toot shouted again. "And they will be here soon!"
"Sir, is it even possible to create that many zombies at once?" Dresden asked. "I can't even begin to imagine the power needed for a spell of that magnitude."
"Why do you think I settled here in the first place? This farm sits on a Ley Line which runs from the Ozarks to the New Madrid Fault line. If I can use it to power my wards there is no reason a skilled necromancer can't use it to create an undead army," Ebenezer explained. "Now wake my granddaughter, get her dress, and bring her down here."
"Are we leaving for Nevernever?"
"Whoever planned this attack knows me personally, so their first move would have been to block the local exits to Nevernever. Now stop asking questions, and get your ass moving!"
There were times being nearly seven feet tall was a hassle, but at other times it was very useful. Dresden took the steps four at a time, and reached his daughter's room in less than ten seconds. Margaret Angelica Dresden was already awake and putting on a small pair of leather boots.
"The monsters are here again, aren't they?" the nine year-old girl asked in an unnaturally calm voice.
Even if Dresden had years of parental experience—and he didn't—there was no good way to answer that question. Shortly after her birth Maggie had been placed with a foster family. When the Red Court Vampires had kidnapped her they savagely tore that family limb from limb right in front of her eyes. Then she had spent a week surrounded by those same vampires, who repeatedly taunted her by explaining in graphic detail how they were going cut out her heart. The physiological damage she had suffered during the past year would take decades to heal... if it ever healed at all.
"I stopped those other monsters, and I promise you that I will stop these monsters too," Dresden said as desperately tried not to cry. "My grandfather is here with us now, and he is the toughest wizard I have ever met. Between the two of us there is no way anything is going to hurt you. I promise."
The two made their way back downstairs, and found Ebenezer in the kitchen with all their magical gear. "Your little friend Toot isn't exactly a rocket scientist, and he doesn't know which kind of zombies we are facing. So I want you to send Bob out on a reconnaissance mission. I need any details he can give me."
"You heard the man," Dresden said as a mass of orange light exited the skull and flew through the door into the night.
"Come on, we are heading out to the barn."
"We are abandoning the farmhouse and its threshold?"
"A house as old and well-constructed as this place would be the obvious place to make a last stand," Ebenezer observed with a smile. "Which is why all my magical defenses are centered on a dilapidated barn out in the middle of the wheat field. As a rule zombies are stupid son of bitches, and forcing their master to redirect his attack should buy us some time."
Mouse looked as tense as Dresden had ever seen him, and the huge dog took point without being asked. As the three humans followed him out to the barn the older wizard paused for a moment to raise his staff. Suddenly the eyes of every cow, pig, chicken, and duck on the large farm began to glow with a reddish color. At the same time several dozen boulders scattered around perimeter started to move; slowly the unfolded into large but headless stone bodies.
"I recognize the golems, but what the hell did you just do to all your livestock?" Dresden asked.
"Whenever an animal is born on this farm I mark its body with a cluster of runes. It allows them to be possessed by a host of minor demons I trapped in a nearby cave a few years ago. And watch your tongue, there is a young lady present," Ebenezer snapped.
"Sir, do you mean we are now being protected by an army of demonic cows and ducks?"
"Hoss, you ever been pecked at by a duck's beak? Let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience."
When Dresden was a teenager he had spent nearly two years on this farm, and had been inside the old barn hundreds of times. But before his eyes the entire structure began to shift and change as several illusions began to disappear. In the place of rotted timbers were steel I-beams, and the wooden side-panels became stone walls several feet thick. Even the floor changed from dirt to concrete. They walked up to the second floor which had a series of tiny, evenly spaced windows on all four of the walls.
"Sir, how in the world did you maintain a complex illusions like that for all these years?"
"Very carefully," Ebenezer replied as he sat down on the floor cross-legged. "Now be quiet while I bring the wards around the farm up to their full strength."
"What are wards?" Maggie asked in a whisper.
"Well, they are like deflector shields."
"What are deflector shields?"
This question shocked Dresden. "Are you telling me you have never watched Star Wars?"
"No, my old parents use to say that those movies were full of racist stereotypes, and that the actors were all terrible."
"Damn George Lucas and his stupid prequels," the young wizard muttered under his breath.
Suddenly a strange noise in the distance caught Dresden's attention, and he rushed over to one of the small windows. It was difficult to see in the darkness, but the moon was giving off just enough light to make out what was going on. The spectacle reminded Dresden of popcorn popping, but instead of kernels of corn, zombies were being popped into showers of flesh and blood. The process was repeating itself all around them, and he realized that the farm was now surrounded.
"Sir, how long will this hold them back?"
"It depends on how well those things were made," Ebenezer replied as he got to his feet. "If this attack is well-coordinated than the ward will last no more than ten minutes before the continuous use finally overwhelms it."
Bob picked that moment to return to his skull with some bad news. "Those suckers are Chinese Qi Warriors, the best I have ever seen. It's like a Marine Corps dress parade out there."
"Did you see any one who wasn't dead?" Dresden asked.
"Yeah, there is a tall guy wearing a dark robe. But I didn't want to risk getting too close, so I never saw his face."
"Cowl," Ebenezer and Dresden said at the same time.
"Yes, it would take one of Kemmler's most talented disciples to pull off something this large and complex," Bob agreed.
The next ten minutes were strangely calm. The zombies continued to pop, but that was the only sounds they heard. Ebenezer took the time to open up a hidden basement beneath the barn. It was stocked with a large number of conventional weapons which included over a hundred M72 anti-tanks weapons, thirty loaded Milkor grenade launchers, and a number of heavy machines guns.
"This isn't quite was I was expecting." Dresden said as they carried the various weapons up to the second floor. Mouse was standing guard next to Maggie while they worked.
"I told you that whoever planned this attack knows me personally. The Blackstaff is a powerful tool, but it can only be used to kill things that are alive," Ebenezer explained.
"Which means it's totally useless against these zombies."
"Exactly. So not only is this undead army ideal for overpowering my wards, it's also impervious to my strongest magical attacks. Fortunately I'm aware of my own tactical weaknesses, and have prepared for situations like this. Hence the need for all this non-magical firepower."
"That all makes sense, but isn't a missile launcher a bit much?" Dresden asked as he extended a M72 to its full length.
"Hoss, when you are dealing with my kind of enemies a simple .44 Magnum isn't going to cut it," Ebenezer replied.
After about twelve minutes the outer ward did fall. It was then that the demonically-possessed farm animals and the stone golems began their counterattack. It's easy to overlook, but a grown cow can weigh over fifteen-hundred pounds. When something that large runs over a hundred pound woman the results aren't pretty. But even worse were the ducks. Dresden would never be able to look at the small waterfowl the same way again after seeing them decapitate several zombies with nothing more than their beaks. The chickens seem to prefer plucking out eyes and tongues, while the pigs had a taste for bloody intestines.
The golems were simply magnificent. Their stone limbs gracefully crushed four or five zombies with each stroke. Despite the carnage they caused, even they fell before the endless stream of the undead just as the farm animals did. Bob was right: their opponents were moving with the precision of a well-trained army.
"Remember to use up all these weapons before resorting to your staff," Ebenezer said as he used a long chain turned on an overhead exhaust fan. "We have to conserve our strength for as long as possible."
Using a M72 was easy. In fact it was disturbingly easy to use. As he moved from window to window Dresden wondered why criminals of Chicago hadn't used missile launchers during their wars against Marcone's gang. Even Gentleman Johnny would be nervous about being on the receiving end of one of these things. After they ran out of missiles they switched over to the grenade launchers. The high explosive rounds were very effective, but the zombies kept on coming in wave after wave.
"Sir, we are almost out," Dresden yelled over the explosions. "Do you have any suggestions on which spells to use?"
"I'm not done yet," Ebenezer yelled back. "When I rebuilt this barn back during the seventies I added ten cisterns to the concrete foundation, and they are all full of napalm. I will get the stuff moving and you will ignite it when it hits those bastards."
"Holy shit, you have your own supply of napalm?"
"Yeah, and it's the new and improved version too. It burns for a couple of minutes instead of a couple seconds like the old stuff from the sixties."
Dresden had no idea how his grandfather did it, but the old wizard somehow forced the thick liquid out of the underground cisterns and sent it hundreds of yards into the air. His part of the plan was much simpler.
"Pyrofuego!"
The lance of fire from his blasting rod quickly reached the flying stream of napalm, and the resulting explosions rocked the barn. In truth it properly rocked half of Missouri. The two wizards repeated the process until all ten cisterns were empty.
"Push the fire out away from us!" Ebenezer yelled.
"Ventas Servitas!" Dresden roared as he held his staff aloft. The powerful gusts of wind did push the fire outwards, but it also made it impossible to see what was going on. "Bob! Fly as high as you can, and see if you can find out what's going on!"
The huge fires were still raging when Bob returned a few minutes later. "There were five thousand of them when this mess started, but now there are only about five hundred of them left."
"I don't know about you, but it has been a long day and I don't have much left in the tank," Dresden said as he leaned on his staff. "And even if we deal with the rest of the zombies, Cowl is still waiting out there to finish us off. So what is our next move?"
"We wait for the cavalry to arrive," Ebenezer replied.
"Sir, even if we would get word to Edinburgh it would still take the Wardens an hour to get here, and then they would fight their way through whatever is blocking the local passages to Nevernever."
"Hoss, I wasn't speaking metaphorically."
Suddenly the fires raging all around the barn vanished. One second they were there, and the next second they were gone. After their eyes adjusted to the darkness two groups were clearly visible in the night. One was the five hundred or so zombies left standing. The other was a group of one hundred centaurs being lead by the Queen of Summer herself. At Titania's signal her troopers raised their wooden clubs and charged.
"Get Maggie to Nevernever, and remember that keeping her safe is now your highest priority," Ebenezer said as the Blackstaff appeared in his hand. "You'll need a diversion, so I'm going to go teach that bastard Cowl what happens to warlocks who try to invade the great state of Missouri."
When they opened the barn's steel door they were greeted with a strange sight. Fix—the new Summer Knight—had stopped wearing shoes several years ago. Even during a Chicago blizzard the young man had walked around in his bare feet. Now it was clear why: both his hands and feet were covered with red-hot flames.
"That is a neat trick you got there," Dresden said as Ebenezer walked off into the night. The centaurs had crushed most of the remaining zombies with their huge clubs, but there still a sizable number left out there. Dresden knew his grandfather could take care of himself, but he still worried about the his safety.
"It's pretty useful in a fight... or if you want to light up a smoke," Fix replied. "Come on, Queen Titania wants to met little Maggie, and you have her word that no harm will come either of you."
During the short walk they were attacked several times, but between Mouse and the Summer Knight nothing could slow them down. After guarding Maggie all night the Temple Dog was eager for a brawl, and Fix's new flaming fists could cause a zombie to explode with nothing more than a quick jab. Maggie ignored the fighting, and instead was staring at the Sidhe and her huge white stallion in the distance.
"I know you," she said when they finally reached Titania.
"Of course you do child, I have visited you many times before," the smiling Queen replied as she lifted Maggie up on to her horse with one hand. Once the girl was firmly in the saddle she kissed her on the forehead. "Sleep now, my great-granddaughter."
Dresden's first instinct was to call her a liar, but then he remembered that a Sidhe could not lie. They took great joy in deceiving mortals with word games and innuendo, but their sense of honor would not allow them to speak a blatant falsehood. When he thought about it for a second it all made sense, in a sick sort of way.
"I thought you were married to King Oberon?"
"I am, but my Lord Husband has taken countless lovers over the millennia and allows me the same privilege," Titania explained as she raised a transparent shield over their party. "It was Ebenezer McCoy's duel against a warlock in 1811 which first caught my attention. It caused an earthquake which was felt for hundreds of leagues in every direction. For a mere mortal to have such raw power... I found it intoxicating."
Dresden didn't know whether to be impressed that his grandfather had bagged a Sidhe Queen or nauseated that he was related by blood to this inhuman thing. "I suppose it's not surprising that you did nothing to rescue Maggie when she was kidnapped by the Red Court Vampires."
"You called for Mab's aid, not mine," Titania said dismissively as she stroked the sleeping girl's hair. On the other side of the corn field a massive surge of magic slammed into the ground, shooting tons of dirt into the air. "It seems that Ebenezer has blocked the Necromancer's escape and is forcing him to duel."
"I take it you aren't going to help him either?" Dresden asked as he studied the shield. There was no way for him to get around it.
"Ebenezer would only consider it an insult if I interfered."
That was probably true. "Why have you been visiting Maggie?"
"Your daughter's health is very delicate," Titania replied. "You are a powerful if clumsy wizard, and Susan Rodriguez was already a vampire when you impregnated her. Added to this was the Sidhe blood you received from me through your mother. These various supernatural elements are not compatible."
Dresden was so concerned by this information that he barely noticed the bolt of lightning that lit up the sky. "Is she going to get sick?"
"No. I have stabilized her condition, but there will be long-term side-effects for your daughter. Perhaps you should have thought about that before you bound Miss Rodriguez's hands with magical rope, and then fornicated with her."
"Wow Harry, you never struck me as the bondage type," the Summer Knight remarked as another explosion rocked the farm.
"Fix, you may have the "Flaming Fists of Fury" now, but I can still kick your ass all the way back to Chicago," Dresden growled. "So what kind of side-effects are we talking about here?"
"Maggie will develop several abilities which are associated with vampires, such as greater strength and faster reflexes. While she won't need human blood to survive, she will have a strong desire for it," Titania explained. "It will take a great deal of training and self-discipline for her to keep her instincts under control."
The Summer Knight was impressed. "That is so cool. Little Maggie Dresden is a Daywalker."
The only thing that saved the Knight from a horrible death at the hands of a very angry father was yet another explosion. This one was by far the most devastating. It greatly strained the Queen's protective shield, and leveled every single tree and man-made structure on the farm.
"He hasn't done that since the Tunguska duel of 1908," Titania remarked with obvious pride as she lowered the shield. "Come Dresden, let us go and see if your grandfather is still alive."
That turned out to be a difficult question to answer, since Ebenezer McCoy's body was now completely enclosed in a cocoon of black energy. However there was no doubt about the fate of Cowl. He might have been a gifted Necromancer, but even he couldn't survive being reduced from three dimensions to only two.