"I refuse to serve under a false queen, your majesty." Those words cut through her very soul, and the hatred laced at the end brought tears to her eyes. She hated the direction her life had taken; and she blamed it all on the sickly little girl.
"Thomas ple-" She could not even get her one sentence out before he cut her off. She hated herself at that moment more than ever before.
"Do not 'Thomas' me, you wretched liar. You do not deserve to wear that crown on your head; you do not even have an ounce of royal blood in you. You are only here per lucky circumstance on your part, only here because she trusted your father. You're pathetic, hiding behind your crown and leading this country into a snarled lie."
He seemed to know exactly what to say to hit home for her; each sentence was like a new blade cutting through her. But he couldn't possibly know what he was saying, he was not there when she died, he was not there to see her face. No, he knew nothing at all; who was he to yell at her and throw those invalid accusations at her.
"Do you think I chose this? Pre-planned the death of our new queen, or just murdered her on a whim? Thomas Kingsly, you know nothing of what happened and of the burden I now carry. Has it occurred to you that after she died, since she died heirless, there would be a civil war to put every person and their mother onto this thrown? I bet not." She was happy to yell, to just lose control of herself if nothing more than a moment; she was so tired of trying to be the person she was not, trying to be her. She was relieved that she was crying, despite knowing she should be appalled. "Or do you not care of the bloodshed that it would cause? As far as the public knows she is still alive, and it gives them hope and solace. How could you imagine taking it away from them?"
He tried to repress the scoff that was in response to her attempt at justification. "And what about that man you're so found of, that Dudley fellow? What happens if you have children?"
She knew the answer to that; she had discussed it with the council, her council now. She hated what she knew had to happen, she longed for a family and she longed to marry Robert. "I won't. It is that simple Thomas, I will not marry and I will not have children, and I will die of natural causes when I am old so that by then the next in line will be prepared. Did you not remember our dear friend had promised she would never marry? Not after the cruel life her father led."
"It is hardly that simple Jane." She stiffened at that name.
"Don't call me that. I am not that person anymore."
"Well I cannot live under your lying hand. I request to leave this court." He knew malice laced his voice, and he knew how much that request hurt his former friend; but he no longer cared. She let out a sigh in defeat.
"Well, if that is how you feel," she gave a deep breath in an attempt to regain her composure; her voice growing cold and impersonal. She feared it would eventually lead to this. "Thomas Kingsly, you are to be transferred to France as an ambassador for England per your Queen's request. You are to leave immediately and stay there for the duration of your life."
"Very well." He went to leave when her voice stopped him.
"And just remember Thomas, you are there under the request of Queen Elizabeth not your former friend Jane Hopsan, and you are to conduct yourself as such. Good bye."
After he left the room she collapsed on the floor and cried. She cried for her friend leaving, for her new responsibilities, for her love now lost; but she mostly cried for the sudden death of dear Elizabeth who sparked this all.