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Chapter 3: Frozen Hands
Please don't cry
Please understand
Please look at me
Please be happy
Please...
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Rigsby's POV
If there is one thing I learned from my father, it's my idea of never being late. Yeah, I know, it is pretty ironic since he was never there for me; in fact, he was never there for us. He is always with his friends, having fun, riding through town and doing things that you don't expect from a middle-aged man. He only comes home when he wants to eat, sleep or change his clothes. My mother let him get away with his irresponsibility, but she only asks him one thing, that he be home every Friday for family dinner.
One Friday night, I came home to find my mom lying on our kitchen floor with her knees drawn to her chest and her hands tightly gripping her stomach. Before I knew it, I am already standing before a hospital door, waiting for her to come out of surgery for a ruptured appendix.
I remembered the long wait, the pitiful stares, the deafening silence and the anger that I felt when I saw my father walk through the hospital hall as if he owns the place. His eyes were blood-shot red, his hands were shaking and, as he slouched on the chair beside me, I realized that he still smelt of smoke. But above all those things, what I remembered the most was the pain I felt when I realized that, had he been at home like he should be; my mother won't be at that operating table, fighting for her life.
If I had stopped to buy ice cream...
If I had decided to play catch with my best friends...
A few more minutes later, I would probably find her strewn in the kitchen floor, dead, with the remnants of the pain that she went through, still etched in her beautiful face.
From that moment on, I promised myself that I will never be late. I will always be on time, if not five minutes earlier. It is either I get on an appointment on time, or I will never be there on the first place. This had been my code of living ever since I was 12 yrs. old.
So why is it, that of all the times I could have been late, it has to be the time when I needed to save a friend.
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300 seconds
Five minutes
That is all it took for each of them to disappear.
Five minutes for him
Five minutes for her
Ten minutes of irresponsibility for us.
Damn
With frustration I hit the accelerator to bring the car a notch faster. We were supposed to be looking for them. We were supposed to make sure that they, especially her, are safe, but here we are, speeding along a highway, trying to make it on time to stop Red John from killing her and to stop him from killing Red John.
Really, I should have known this was happening. Stupid me. He was acting strange all day, stranger than he usually is. That should have been a dead giveaway.
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"Why are we stopping here Jane? Come on man, let's go back!" If it were any other day, any other situation, I wouldn't mind this little pit stop of Jane, but really, this is not the right time to be idle, we still have to catch Red John before he gets to do his plan – to kill Lisbon.
Jane was standing in front of the fountain, which is situated in the centre of this park. We were walking back to the headquarters when Jane spotted it and gladly announced that we should stay here for a few minutes.
"Oh come on guys, where's your sense of adventure, honestly, did you even noticed that there is a fountain here?"Jane looked at us with fake curiosity. Instead of answering, I only stared incredulously at him. Cho responded by crossing his arms on his chest, while Grace seemed to really contemplate his question. Lisbon, as expected of her, just rolled her eyes at him.
"Ah, I thought so." He said with victory.
"Now don't you guys find it alarming that this magnificent construction is only 20 meters away from us but none of you even realized that this existed?"He asked while wildly throwing his arms in the air to prove his point.
"Does it even matter? It is just a structure that is spouting water!"I said. Sometimes, this man could be so random that he doesn't make any sense anymore.
"For Jane it does!" Lisbon said sarcastically as she looked at the consultant with irritation.
"Oh it certainly is! Of all people in the world, every one of you should know the importance of knowing your surroundings and the people around you." He turned to me and wriggled his eyebrows.
"Oh come on!" Lisbon said as she turned her back towards us, but Jane was faster and he was able to grab her before she could take any more steps. And with that, they again fell into their usual banter.
It is safe to say that this is a lost cause. Sure, Lisbon would try to oppose him, while all of us would support her, but he's just going to be so stubborn that eventually, everyone will just let it go and follow him. Well, at least this park has a few food carts that offer nice sandwiches.
As I finished surveying the park for other food carts, I realized that it's silent again and I turned to see Lisbon and Cho making their way to an ice cream cart while Grace is already half-way near a tree. Jane, on the other hand, remained rooted on the spot as his eyes followed the retreating form of Lisbon. There is no cheeky grin plastered on his face, no twinkling eyes, nothing. For a few moments he stood there standing like a statue, before turning to me and giving me a smile – a sad smile. He was already walking away when I realized that I was given the privilege to get a glimpse of the real Patrick Jane.
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Something was bothering him and I am stupid enough not to act on it. I should have known. A bothered Jane, a Red John case, a dead woman looking so much like Lisbon – its plain as daylight that he was planning on something. It is also as plain as daylight that I am an idiot.
"Shit!" I punched hard on the steering wheel as I got frustrated on my own incompetence.
My sudden outburst, earned me the attention of the other two people inside the van. I felt a warm hand touch my left shoulder, as Grace, who is sitting at the back, tried to steady my shaking arm. Cho, who is sitting shotgun, spared me a few seconds of his unnerving gaze before going back to surveying the side of the road. He too, is frustrated with the whole situation; after all, he was the one who was wielding the binoculars. He was supposed to keep an eye on them, literally. Every move they make, every actions they take, he was meant to account all of them, but at the end, Jane was still able to make a clean break, and Lisbon, she...
"Jane was acting weird today. Weirder than he normally is." Cho said out of nowhere. His irritating statement broke the awkward silence that enveloped us and I couldn't help but glare at him.
"Way to state the obvious, genius!" I said as I returned my focus on the road. Really, of all the things he could have said!
"It's my fault as well as yours do you know that!" Cho responded with an angry edge on his voice and I looked at him to see his face crumpled in an angry expression.
It's our fault. Of course it is! It's our fault. BOTH our fault - his fault, my fault.
MY FAULT!
A dull thud resounded through the car as my curled hand again came in contact with the steering wheel. I took comfort at the pain that shot through my bones because pain keeps my emotions in check.
"Cut it out!" Grace shouted. "We are all at fault here!" She is leaning forward with her hands both clutching each of our headrests.
She turned to Cho and spoke without hesitance. "It's your fault that you got distracted and lost count of Jane and Lisbon." She then turned to me, and I could feel her cold gaze boring through my face. "It's your fault that you got lax and also lost Jane and Lisbon. And it's my fault that I lost track of Jane and Lisbon's locator. So could we just please, please stop pointing fingers and get on!" She said as she withdrew her hands and slouched back.
Hearing it from another person, especially from Grace who rarely says things like that, made it no easier for me, but it did knock some sense on my guilt-ridden mind. Cho too seemed to be taken aback by Grace's sudden outburst, for he remained silent for a while. After a few moments, Cho turned and looked at me.
"As I said earlier, Jane is acting weirder than he normally is. I know that he has a tendency to do random things, but he never do things without a reason." He said slowly. "No matter how outrageous his acts are, they are grounded by best reasons." I felt the weight of Grace's hands as she again clutched my headrest.
"You're right, remember the time when he threw a painting to a fireplace? Or the time he said he was looking for a new house. He did all of those things to solve our previous cases!" Grace exclaimed.
"So you mean to say, that Jane's randomness today – his want to eat outside, his insistence in staying for a few minutes in that park, his unnatural attachment to that fountain – all of those things must have a deeper meaning?" I asked, as I found myself caught up by Cho's thinking.
"Right! Tell me, why do you think Jane would want us to eat outside?" Cho asked.
"Well, he said he wants us to "breathe the air that keeps us alive." But I think, he just made that as an excuse for us to go out." I said.
"Yes, yes, that's true. He wants us to go out, to eat at that Italian restaurant we used to go to. But there is nothing different with that. I mean, he used to do that, you know, suddenly suggest that we should eat out instead of delivery." Van Pelt added. She was leaning further towards us and I could see that she is deeply analyzing our situation.
"Van Pelt's right, Jane do sometimes suggest that we go out and eat lunch, but he never, even for once suggested that we stay at that park, much less become interested with the park fountain." Cho was still looking at me but I know that he sees past me, what he sees, is our last (but hopefully not) team lunch.
"That means, there must be something about that park, or probably that fountain." Van Pelt responded eagerly. I could see that the two of them are getting too caught up with their own reasoning.
"But guys, don't you think we are just overanalyzing? What if Jane just wants to really spend some time in that park and look at that fountain." I reasoned. Despite what people believe, I am not fond of taking loosing sides in an argument; I just want to balance it by voicing out the other side.
"But what if he's not. What if there really is something or someone at that park. This is our last chance in understanding what is happening here. We are still running around in circles and we still don't know where they are. Think guys, recall everything that Jane said to us, he must have left us something!" Cho remained steadfast with his idea and I feel my resolves breaking down as I remembered the sadness radiating from Jane's eyes during our last moments together.
"Well, what I am pretty sure of is, after everyone of you went away and left me and Jane standing near the fountain, I saw him sadly look at Lisbon before turning away from me." My heart again ached as I remembered that moment. Grace must have felt my uneasiness because she patted me with assuring hands.
"Yeah. I guess, looking back at it, I now know why he approached me and asked me about happy-endings. He must have known that today is the day he gets to find Red John. He must have wished that there would be a happy ending with this story." Grace's steady hand which is still resting in my shoulders suddenly started to shake. "Oh God!" She exclaimed. "That must have been his goodbye." I took her hand and squeezed it. "What if, if he took us there as his way of saying goodbye." She said as soft sobs escaped from her lips.
I have always figured out that Jane has subtle ways of expressing his true emotions and, even though he likes grandiose things, when it comes to genuine emotions, he tends to express them in simple ways. I just can't believe that his idea of goodbye is bringing us in a park.
Cho, who was rigidly looking at us, slouched back at his sit and pinched his nose bridge. "But why the park?" He asked. "He could have brought us to other place, but why the park?" He said as he again turned towards us and looked at Grace, whose tears came down as steady streams. Meanwhile, I continued to keep my left hand on the steering wheel and my other hand tangled on to Grace's still shaking hand.
"Maybe because it's the nearest one" I concluded. Despite what happened earlier, I am very much willing to set aside my emotions just for the sake of everyone. I know that Cho does not intend to lose Lisbon and I know that I hold as much fault as he does, and I only hope, that whatever happens in the future, we could still remain friends.
"True."He sounded very defeated. "But what's with the fountain? Why did he suddenly insist on taking interest on the fountain?" He addressed me. It seemed that he too is willing to set aside our differences for the sake of everyone, especially Lisbon.
"Well, he did say that we, of all people, should know the importance of knowing our surroundings and the people around us." Grace answered despite her continued sobs.
Cho's seat suddenly creaked, and I glanced at him to see that he suddenly became rigid again. And, as funny as it may sound, I think I could hear the turning of the cogs and wheels of Cho's brain. Suddenly, he slammed his palms on the dash board.
"Quick, Rigsby! Turn around; I think I know where they are!" He ordered, and I could again see, the fire of determination in his eyes, which I thought, has already died earlier.
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A/n. There! Twin Chapters! I must remind you people, everything that I write in these chapters has significance *wink wink*, so if you want to figure it out, read hard, as in hard!
Evil Cliffy? Don't worry; the fourth chapter is already underconstruction.
Preview:
Tomorrow, I'll still find you sleeping here, Jane will still have that haunted look, Grace will continue to silently cry in the ladies bathroom and Rigsby will continue to remain stoic.
BTW, please don't get angry with me about Cho and Rigsby, I just thought that, despite their deep friendship, there will be tension between them when it comes to Jane, Lisbon and Red John.
Reviews, pleeeeease.