Chapter 8- Moments of My Jacob

Leah's POV

How could he do this to me? After all we've been through! I slam my fist into the wall and hear a splintering crack. My walls are covered in holes now. All thanks to that dog! He took my heart and fixed it and what has he done now? He has destroyed it all because of that little leech! What does she have that I haven't already given him?

I cannot lose him. I cannot bear to lose another one. He promised me all those years ago he wouldn't hurt me. I remember it like it was yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Leah, I love you. I didn't know it was possible to feel like this again after…her," Jacob had said as he cupped my face in his hands. I smiled even though he referenced to Bella Cullen. I hadn't smiled like that in so long it felt like my face would crack. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my face in his chest.

"Jacob, I love you too. But we can't let this keep going. It isn't safe or fair," I had said wearily. I felt his body tremble slightly. He was angry. He was controlling his anger so much better than the rest of the wolves.

"Is it because I'm the leader? I told you that don't matter to me. I just want the best for you guys, er, and girls," Jacob whispered into my hair. I looked up at his face and saw his distress.

"It isn't because you are the leader. It is because you can still imprint. Remember? I don't think I can handle it if you left me too. If…and I mean when you do imprint…I want to be happy for you. But I can only be your friend," The emotion in my voice rose to an unrecognizable level. This isn't how we acted always. We used to be fun.

"I will never imprint. I lost my chance when the leech stole her," Jacob never liked to speak of Bella, it caused him so much pain, we tried to pretend she never existed. It was getting harder to do that everyday. Jacob began again, "I love you now, Lee. I will never hurt you, ever."

"Then kiss me now, Jacob Black. Promise me you wont hurt me," I say forcibly to the trembling leader.

"I will never hurt you, Leah. I love you," Jacob said with so much intensity the feel of his lips on mine caused me to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~

That was until he met her. Renesmee Cullen. A growl ripples through my chest and I through another punch through the wall. He. Was. Mine. Jacob Black is mine!

I phase and run through the house and keep running even when I get outside. I run to the cliff where that freak's mother once jumped. Almost ending her life. That is where she should have died. It is her fault. It is Bella's fault. If she had just died like she was supposed to….I wouldn't feel this pain. I wouldn't be a werewolf. I wouldn't be mad. I wouldn't want to curl up and die. It is all her fault!

Leah? What are you talking about? Seth asks me as he does his daily patrol through the woods. Why can't anyone just mind their own business anymore?

Leah, it isn't Bella's fault. You know it is no ones fault, don't you? C'mon Leah, come hunting with me! I bet I can beat you to the old treaty line! Seth urges me after picking through my brain. Nosy little mutt.

Fine, but I'm tellin' Mom! She won't like to hear that you are trying to hurt yourself! Now Seth is threatening me. Why can't the torture ever stop? Why can't they just leave me alone to vent to myself? To be myself? Because they are nosy little puppies, that's why.

I have to phase to get some privacy. I forgot my change of clothes. Damn, now I'm naked. I stand on the edge of the cliff and throw a pebble. It sure is a long way down…I wonder if a human can survive the fall? What about a werewolf? Probably…but if I was in my human form…No, Jacob cant let me be like this. He shouldn't have shattered me like this. He should be here comforting me. But he isn't…he's with her. As he will be for the rest of forever. How depressing for me…

Will I let Renesmee win? If Jacob was mine first don't I have some right to keep him? I need him. He is my personal sun. He brought meaning back to my life. He can't just take it away! I can't let that little monster win him!

Renesmee Cullen prepare for me.

Renesmee's POV

I am curled up in Jacob's lap nursing my canteen. Jacob prickled his nose when I brought it to my lips but I ignored him. His warm body is everywhere. I can feel nothing that is not my love. I can smell nothing but him. I love nothing but him.

"Do you want some, Jake?" I offer my canteen up in his face. I laugh evilly. He takes the canteen gingerly from my hands and tosses it aside. He begins to tickle my sides with a new intensity.

"Stop…Jake! C'mon! That's not fair!" I manage to mutter through my giggles. Jake doesn't quit.

"Jacob…Black! I'm gonna tell!" I try to threaten. I can't even sound threatening! It is impossible to be mad at him! He eventually gives up when I start to cry.

"Can't take the heat, Nessie?" Jake laughs as he pulls me back into his lap. I stroke his face gingerly.

"The heat I can take. The tickling I cannot!" I exclaim happily. I jump from his grasp and pick up my canteen and take a long slurp.

"You have a little something on your face…right there," Jacob says disgustedly and points to the left side of my face. I giggle and wipe it off with the back of my hand.

"Thank you, Jacob. Are you sure you don't want any?" I laugh and run my hand through my hair seductively.

"Are we still talking about blood?" Jacob asks cautiously and stands from the couch where we had been sitting.

"Are we? I can't recall?" I laugh and lean against the wall. He presses up against me and smoothes back my hair softly. He begins to lean in cautiously.

I can't believe it! My first kiss! Almost here! Did I mention it was being delivered by a GOD? What am I going to do? Wait, breathe, Renesmee, breathe. I can do this. Right? I'm seven years old. I can do this. Wow, that sounds so wrong in my head. Are we going too fast? You're not, the voice in my head tells me. I agree with it and feel my mouth curve into a smile.

"How was your day, Jacob? I found the most beautiful dog dish!" Rosalie exclaims as she and Edward walk through the door, as I was an inch away from the most beautiful moment of my existence. Damn them.

Jacob steps away from me. His cheeks are slightly pink. I can't tell why. It could be from embarrassment or from being so close to his destination. He gives me a slight smile and turns to look at my family.

"Hey, Blondie! Long time no smell!" Jacob greets Rosalie who is clenching the dog dish between her demolishing hands.

"Jacob. I could have spent the rest of my day happily. Congratulations on ruining it," Rosalie says icily. She places the dog dish on the nearest table. Her fingerprints are engraved forever on the sides of the bowl. I chuckle at her words. I've never heard her sound so mean. Actually, come to think of it, I've never even heard her mad. Jacob definitely brings out the worst in her.

"Hi guys, what are you doing home so early? I thought you said you were going to Seattle," I ask my father who has gone quiet.

"We left early this morning, remember?" Edward says passively. Time must fly when I'm having fun. Edward raises his eyebrows and turns to Jacob. "So what have you been up to today, Jacob?" Edward continues in a nonchalant tone. Please, Jacob, don't think anything. Daddy, I'll tell you all you want to know.

I walk up to Edward and press my palm to his cheek. I show him Jacob and me watching the sunrise, sitting in his lap, watching television, drinking blood, almost kissing for the first time… I pull my hand away and Edward looks stern. Well, he wanted to know.

"C'mon Jake, let's go. It is getting a bit crowded in here," I lead Jacob out of the cottage and into the forest.

"Renesmee? Jacob? What are you doing out here?" Bella calls from a further place in the forest. Thanks to my killer eyesight I see her graceful run to meet us. "Do you want to go see a movie tonight? We could double!" Bella invites us comfortably.

"Bells, what are you doing?" Jacob asked uncomfortably. I share his feelings. What is she up to?

"I'm trying to act more like a teen and less like a mom. It has been so long. It will be harder for Edward being older than I am. But he also has more practice. So what do think? Is it a date?" Her eyes are shining with such joy it is impossible to turn her away. Jacob and I agree to meet my parents at the theater is five hours. With that she flees in the direction of the manor.

"Sorry, Jake. I know that probably isn't your idea of a fun night but she means well. I think she does at least…" I hug Jacob in farewell.

"S'alright, Nessie. If you're there then it will be great. Besides I haven't had much time to talk to Bella. We were really good friends growing up. We used to make mud pies together. I can't believe she's been alive all this time! It's great! I'll see you tonight, right?" I nod numbly and turn to leave. He grabs my arm and spins me back toward him. I smile and close my eyes. He leans in and kisses my cheek. When I open my eyes again he's gone.

Jacob's POV

I'm happy. I'm happy! She is everything I want and everything I'll ever need. I can't wait for tonight. If Edward wasn't going to be there it would be much better.

Having Nessie in my arms today felt like it could have lasted forever. It will last forever. I will never leave her. If only Edward hadn't busted in…He was always ruining my plans…

I could have kissed Nessie good bye. But I just couldn't. She wasn't ready. I have to give her what she wants before I care about me. It was enough to just to feel her skin on my lips even if it wasn't her lips on mine. I love my Nessie.

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