AN: SM owns all. I own my shame. Not fair.

Chapter 8

Edward pressed his mouth against my cheek lightly and whispered, "I know you can do this." I sighed sadly and wanted with every fiber of my being to believe him.

I smiled at Edward and left the house. I didn't want him to come. He has never seen me out of control. Even when I was a newborn there was no out of control. Today, I don't know what will happen.

The mansion looms over me as I take my time walking to the house. I take the time it would have taken the human me. I'm not ready to do this. How can Charlie be ready to do this?

Renesmee emerges from the house with Jacob. They both have grim faces. Renesmee is trying her hardest not to smile. The news of the babies is still making her glow. I don't address them when I walk past them and into the house. If I speak I don't know if I will make it to Charlie. I may go screaming in the other direction. Why did he choose this? Does he think it will be glamorous? Does he think it will be better? How can he trust me?

Esme pulls me into her arms when I walk by her. I don't hug her back. It seems too easy. She can love a monster. She is just that type of person. I cannot love myself if Charlie…dies… I feel myself shudder so I pull away from Esme. She nods and lets me go without saying a single word.

I make it to the 'operating room' in one piece. Carlisle is standing over Charlie with a grim expression.

"Is he okay?" I ask Carlisle. He nods and pets Charlie on the head like a child.

Charlie is lying down on the table asleep. We put him to sleep so he wouldn't have to feel so much. I remember the flickering fire that burns through your veins. By the time it comes you wish you were dead. Maybe that is why this life seems so much better. You already expect the worse.

"There are other ways, Bella, you don't have to bite him," Carlisle tells me. I look up at him curiously. He nods and hands me a clear cup. "Just put your venom in the cup." He directs and leaves the room.

I roll the cup around in my hands, and then remember. The plan Edward had for us. He was going to inject me with the venom instead of bite! I quickly drop venom into the cup and wait…a quarter full…half full…three quarters full…ready. I look around the room and see that Carlisle had already laid out a few syringes. I smile, Edward knew, everyone knew.

Charlie gasps in his sleep and I turn to look at him. His curly brown hair is wild and his pale skin is lighter than usual. He could almost pass for a vampire.

I take Charlie gently in my arms and press the needle into his neck. He winces and starts to howl. How do I know if I gave him enough? I put the needle in his arm. He screams again, louder. I can't tell if he feels new pain or the same pain. His eyes flash open; he screams so loud the blood vessels in his eyes burst. I drop him gently to lie down on the table. I take a deep breath and gasp…the iron, meaty smell is everywhere. He's bleeding…I flee the room and lock the door from the outside.

"Bella?" Edward whispers as he approaches me. He looks me deeply in the eyes and smiles, "You used the cup." I stick out my tongue at him. "I thought you would like that alternative."

"Why didn't you tell me!" I falter and land in his arms.

"I thought you needed a bit of drama," I raise my eyebrows at him, "It's fine. He will be okay. His thoughts are very…explicit though…I didn't realize he knew so many…phrases!" Edward laughs and pulls me into a spare bedroom, Becca's bedroom.

We land on the bed together and sigh. Maybe it would all be okay…I curl up into Edward's chest and daydream. In three days we will know.

Renesmee's POV

"Jacob, go buy me ice cream!" I demand of my boyfriend. He looks at me and shakes his head. I push my lip out to a pout but he stays strong. "Why the hell not?"

"Because I would be giving into you, and we need to discuss some things."

I laugh at him, he doesn't laugh back. "What do we need to discuss?"

"Well, what are we going to call the rugrats?" he asks me. I laugh, I haven't thought about that. Two weeks is so close!

"Go get Edward." I tell him and he leaves. I sit down on the porch of the mansion and sigh. I have two grandfathers. Who knew? Obviously everyone else…I feel my stomach prickle and try to calm down.

"I'm not angry babies, I'm fine, don't get annoyed with me, I'll be good." I whisper to my little shape shifter in particular.

Jacob, Edward, and Bella come outside. Bella smells faintly happy, Edward is smiling. I do not want to know what they were doing when Jacob walked in. Edward smirks at my thought and sits next to me. Bella stands above looking anxious. I guess biting a human does that to you…

"Why did you want Edward here, Nessie?" Jacob asks me angrily. I guess he wanted this to be a special thing. Whatever, I want my babies to like their names.

"Have you thought of any?" Edward asks me after hearing my thoughts. I wish he would stop doing that! He smirks. He likes to smirk at me lately.

"Why yes I have nosy vampire!" But I turn to Jacob instead.

"What names do you have in mind, love?" I ask Jacob. He smiles and looks at Edward. They hate when we use 'their' pet names.

"I want the name Sarah. For a girl definitely." Jacob says and looks at Edward. "Does anyone want that name?" He asks my stomach. I feel a small kick.

"We have a taker!" I laugh and turn to Edward. "What does Sarah sound like?"

"Well she sounds like Alice a bit, but she wants a guy name too, if you have any."

I think hard…what does Sarah mean….

"Princess, actually," Edward says and smiles, "Prince means Brendan."

"Okay, so Sarah and Brendan for the one that sounds like Alice," Jacob mumbles. I know he's secretly thrilled because he is tapping his foot. He only does that when he is excited.

"Sarah agrees." Edward dictates.

"Next!" I laugh and look at Bella and Jacob, they have to have something!

"Elizabeth?" Bella suggests and looks at Edward.

"We have a taker…" Edward says fondly at my stomach. He reaches his hand out and I feel a kick.

"I don't think we will need a boy name for her. What does she sound like?" I interrogate my elated father.

"Elizabeth is very serene, she has a very mystic sounding voice, and I cannot really describe it."

"Okay…one more to go!" Jacob says before me this time. His tapping has gotten louder.

Silence.

Crickets chirp.

We have no ideas.

My baby will be untitled.

"Jesse!" Jacob laughs and squints his eye at Bella. She growls but laughs too. I don't get it… so Edward takes over.

"Renee and Esme made Renesmee…. Jacob and Nessie make Jesse…" He scowls at Jacob who is roaring with laughter.

I giggle too and swat Jacob but feel a kick in my stomach. I look at Edward who looks incredulous. "You have a taker…boy or girl they want it. Good thing its unisex…" Edward mutters.

"Thank you guys! Now we have Sarah/Brendan, Elizabeth, and Jesse!" I launch myself at Jacob but have to stop mid-launch because I may hurt the children.

THREE DAYS LATER

Charlie's POV

The fire is dimming. I can feel once again. I can feel more than just pain. I can feel light. Wait, that can't be right, I feel lighter. Like the world has lightened its load on me. My thoughts are muddled. Hey! I know the word muddled!

The embers are dimming I can hear voices.

"Is he going to wake up ever?" A young voice asks.

"Yes, Renesmee, they do wake up." A voice…Edward says.

"Charlie? Dad? Can you hear me?" Bella asks. I want to answer her. To call out and to dance. I lived… I think.

"He really did turn out quite well, didn't he Jasper? He can wear the clothes you don't like!"

"Don't bombard him right when he wakes up, everyone! He may be Bella's father but that doesn't mean he has the self control she does."

I can hear them. I hope they know this. Because I really hate when people talk about me. I want to throw a shoe at them.

"We know you can hear us, Charlie. I can hear you. Can you talk?" Edward whisper soothingly. Now I really want to hit him.

In my head I scream "EDWARD IS PISSING ME OFF!" and I hear an echo of laughter.

"Nice, Dad, way to use the language, can you open your eyes?" Bella asks.

"Did I say that aloud?" I ask them. There is a murmur of agreements. With my last bit of strength I open my eyes.

The world is different. Like I used to wear my fishing goggles all the time. Now it is clear. I see dust particles floating around my head. I can see the individual shape!

I look to my right to see the Cullens. Everyone looks better. I knew they were a good looking group but goddamn it my human eyes didn't do them justice! Jasper is the only one that looks worse. Scarred with little bites all along him. I cast a nervous glance at Alice, she likes to play dirty in the bedroom, I guess. Edward laughs so I look at him. Stupid twit! His laughter stops and he takes a step forward.

"Charlie, I can read your thoughts, I just thought you should know now." He says seriously and takes a step back when I growl. I can growl? Cool!

"Charlie?" A tentative voice says to me. I look around and see Bella. Her face is scrunched up in worry. "Are you okay?" I nod and take a step toward her. At once the family has surrounded her and the girl Renesmee. What a strange way to act…

"Sorry Charlie, we can't take risks around Renesmee or Bella right now. They are too connected to the babies. How are you feeling?" Carlisle explains and takes a brazen step towards me.

I think really hard about this. I'm fine. So why are they all crazy? "I'm fine, how are you?" I ask him suspiciously.

"Are you thirsty, I meant." Carlisle tries again. I think about and feel a low burning in my throat not enough to freak out about.

"No, not really. Why?" I ask the doctor. He nods and smiles.

"Do you feel any different?"

"Just annoyed. But no, not different. Except for the low burning. Bella made it sound so much worse!" I laugh and glance at my daughter. No one laughs.

"It is supposed to be worse, do you feel anything else?"

Anger surges through me and I growl at all of them. Edward gasps and shakes his head.

"How did you do that?" Edward asks me quietly. I look at him. "You blocked me out! I can't hear your thoughts anymore!"

"Well, then stop being so goddamn nosy!" I bark at him and glare.

"I think we are done for today…" Carlisle mumbles and pushes everyone out of the room. Only three remain: Bella, Jacob, and Alice.

Bella smiles and hugs me tightly. "I'm so glad I didn't kill you!"

"Me too, kiddo! That would have put a damper on my day!" I laugh and kiss the top of her head. Now we can be together as a family. "So why was Edward all insulted that I blocked him out?"

Bella laughs victoriously. "It's a family trait, I can do that too, except I could do it as a human and you just accessed it! This is great!"

"Can I not access it?" I ask nervously. I don't mind him reading my thoughts all the time.

"Try it," Bella suggests. I drop my guard and think about the girl from the book store. So beautiful, so nice, and so…

"EW!" Bella shrieks.

"Nice!" Jacob laughs.

"Charlie!" Alice gasps.

I look around confused. Bella laughs slightly. "I guess you can send thoughts too without touching. Try not to do that again please."

"Sorry, next time I won't think so hard…" I say sarcastically. Creepy vamps with creepy mind games. No wonder Bella keeps her shield up.

Bella's POV

I lead Charlie back to cottage on the Cullen property. Renesmee and Jacob said they would stay with him tonight so I could go home with Edward. I hope the babies will be okay being so close to a ravenous vampire.

Renesmee's POV

Charlie sits on the sofa watching the game, Jacob snickers that Charlie only wanted immortality so he would never miss a game. The children don't kick anymore but my mind does wander. Here is my grandfather but he doesn't know who I am…

"Charlie?" I ask tentatively. He looks up at me confused. I haven't addressed him ever so openly.

"Do you know who I am?"

Author's Note-Thanks for reading. Please review if you feel inclined to flame me for this piece of crap.