I'm stunned. I never realized how much constructive criticism helped me! Thanks to those reviewers who helped me improve my writing! And if anyone has anything else to suggest, I'd be happy to know what it is! Thanks!

Even if you don't have any criticism, though, please review!

Numb

---Chapter 6---

I stood there with the knife in my hand. When everyone had been asleep last night, I'd gone downstairs and gotten it from the kitchen. Now nothing was stopping me from ending it all. I could just stab myself and be done with life. With pain. With everything. Harry was downstairs eating dinner with the rest of the family. I'd insisted that he should go and eat with them tonight instead of staying with me. After all, why should he stay with a worthless soul that has been destroyed beyond belief?

I stared at the knife for a few minutes, observing it. I ran my fingers along the blade.

What did I have to lose? Nothing. My life was useless. What was the point of being alive if I hated myself? I had nothing to live for, and everything to die for. It would end the pain. All of it.

So then why was I just standing in my room doing nothing? I had the chance to make everything go away. Everything. Shouldn't I just have been killing myself so I wouldn't have to endure these thoughts and memories? Still, I just stood there.

What was I, afraid? Why would I be afraid? I wanted to do this. I really did. I was sure of it.

Then I heard footsteps on the stairs. Damn it! I had wasted all of my time thinking!

I had just enough time to shove the knife under my pillow before Harry opened the door and came in. He seemed to have heard me rushing over to my bed, because he looked slightly suspicious when he entered. "Gin?" he asked, "Are you hiding something?"

"What do you mean? Why would I be hiding anything?" I thought I did a pretty good acting job, but apparently Harry could read me like a book.

"What did you just put under your pillow?"

This took me by suprise. Had he really seen me hiding the knife?

"Um... My diary! I...didn't really want you to read it. Maybe I should have found a better hiding spot. Sorry."

It didn't seem to convince him entirely, but he stopped asking questions. I guess he trusted me enough not to ask anything else. That made me feel guilty. If he knew what I was really hiding, would he still trust me?

I knew if he found out what it was, he would take it away.

I sat down next to my pillow and he sat on the other side of the bed. "Are you feeling better?" he asked me. He knew I'd been a bit shaken up by that nightmare. What he didn't know was that I'd been having that same dream almost every other day for weeks.

"Yes."

Not at all. But was I going to tell him that?

He looked at me sadly. "Ginny," he said, taking my hands in his, "are you alright?"

It unnerved me a bit. "Yes."

"You don't really want to die, do you?"

"Of course not!" I said angrily. He must have seen something in my eyes that suggested otherwise, however. He just kept looking at me. It actually made me feel guilty for wanting to kill myself. But I had no reason to feel guilty! My life was a wreck! Wouldn't I be better off dead?

"Please talk to me." he said. I couldn't stand it anymore. His eyes were killing me. I had to tell him. If I couldn't talk to him, who could I talk to?

"Why wouldn't I want to die?" I suddenly shouted. "What do I have to live for?"

His eyes widened. "You have everything to live for! Gin, I know you feel like life isn't worth living right now, but just give it some time! It'll get better! I promise."

"How would you know?" I asked, a little louder than I'd intended. It wasn't as if he'd been through what I had. "You have no idea how I feel! Have you been raped, Harry?"

He drew back. It was the first time I'd actually said what had happened to me out loud.

It was then that I noticed that all of the barely audible conversation downstairs had stopped.

Ok, I wanted to make this chapter longer, but I just had to end it there! It was too tempting! Sorry!

R E V I E W !