Here's Second Chance, tell me what you think at the end please!

"And all I've tried to hide, it's eating me apart. Trace this life out."

-Dirty Little Secret.

-All American Rejects.

The rest of that night went by in a blur. Alice showed me all of the different bedrooms, none of them stood out to me now though, along with the bathroom, kitchen, dining room, and living room. Also several other that I didn't even know could exist in a house.

Back at Charlie's everything was dirty. I would clean when I could, but that wasn't very often considering I had school during that day and Charlie to attend to at night. At the orphanage things were clean but only to the best of the custodian's ability. Considering the size of the building, and that the janitor was almost eighty years old the best you could say was that he tried.

Here, everything was clean. Everything was shiny and sparkling and gorgeous beyond description. Every corner that I turned and every room that I entered was marvelous in it's own way. Oak dressers and walk-in closets. Glistening counter tops and smooth porcelain. This was the closest I'd ever be to perfect.

Now, though, I was in bed. Thinking. Why did I get this? Why was I the lucky one who got chosen out of every child to come and live with such a wonderful family? What made me fit to be here over every one of those girls still lying in bed at the orphanage?

I knew that if I kept thinking about things like that I would drive myself insane. All these questions that no one would ever really be able to answer. I know that people go insane from things that they can't change, and since I wouldn't be able to change my situation for at least two years. I might as well wait it out and see what was in store.

Really though, to me, that almost seemed like giving up. Giving up was something that I wasn't used to doing and had never really planned on. But I suppose that when you're adopted, it's never really a scheduled event is it? No. It's not.

And for me, like I mentioned, giving up wasn't either. So the only way to escape this was to fight.

The only way to fight was to run.

I went over to my bags, which only contained a few things, none of which held any real significance. I only grabbed a jacket, a pair of sweats, and my old pair of black converse from the bag before heading out my bedroom door. I opened it carefully, slowly, expecting it to creek when it was moved just like every other door I had opened, but it didn't. It opened and closed without a peep. As I walked down the stairs, I made sure no one heard me, taking on each step with a new delect and careful grace. Well, my form of grace which would probably look like stumbling to anyone else, but I still made it don the stairs without anyone waking.

I opened the front door and a pale shade of gray sky welcomed me into the morning, birds chirped good morning despite what I was doing I couldn't help but smile. Mornings were familiar to me, Always waiting for Charlie to pass out then head out to the grocery for the week's supply of food.

It was sometimes hard, only living off the money Charlie got for unemployment, and what the state gave us since he was a single parent and had no job. It was a squeeze most of the time, but it worked out in the long run. At least, I assume it'll work out, I'm still waiting for a resolution. Waiting for something to tell me I was going to make it and the rest of my life would be as normal as I could make it.

I started running, something I loved doing and was actually used to despite most of my days were spent in doors. I always made sure to get out of the house at least three hours a week. I'm sure that seemed insane to most but to me it was the norm.

So I ran. I ran and looked around a the scenery that I would be surrounded with for who knows how long. I ran for almost an hour, I was counting the seconds in my head, then I found a spot where I could sit and rest.

It was a tiny board walk that looked over a huge, glistening lake. I could hear the ducks quack, and frogs croak as I walked up to the wooden walk way.

It was a nice sort of quiet, nature's song the only thing that would fill the otherwise silent morning. It was soothing, and it had a calming affect on me after my day at the Cullen's which included two of my least favorite extremes. A noisy, family dinner-everyone talking, making conversation, the look of anticipation on Esme's face when she would look at me from across the table, waiting for me to chime in on the subject when I could only, vaguely recognize what they were talking about. That evening quickly, turned into a silent, dark night. A haunting loneliness filled a room that I had never slept in, not a sound in the entire house to humanize the environment I was in.

So this was a nice medium, enough quiet to clear your head and let you think, but just the right amount of noise to let you know that life lives on outside of the jail cell your mind can sometimes become.

I walked onto the dock and it creaked under my weight. The sun was just beginning to rise off the horizon, and it was casting a, somewhat, blinding glow off the crystal water. I walked the rest of the walk way, taking slow, deep breaths, and keeping my steps even. I let the crisp air fill my lungs and my mind memorize everything about this moment. A true moment of freedom and knowing that life was still pure and good in some places. That God was there in a few beautiful scenes and maybe even in the outcome of a few not so good ones.

I reached the end of the dock and sat down at the very edge. I hugged my knees, resting my chin on top. I gazed out at the water in front of me, every so often a chilling breeze would roll through and it would blow my hair back, biting my skin and poking my cheeks with every touch. I had to close my eyes to prevent from crying, not from any emotions of course, the wind was just that strong.

I looked at the water directly beneath me, noticing the life that lay under the surface of the water. Fish of all sizes, different plants of all shapes and forms. Wild colors from green to blue, even a few shades of red to throw off the palette.

Absolutely gorgeous. But as I gazed down in wonder I couldn't help but wonder why we all can live in a world that beautiful. What makes us different from the fish? They have to deal with the problems and their surroundings yet they still look happy.

Then I realized that we were like the fish, exactly like them. They had fears and things that were supposed to get in the way of their life, and then they were faced with either overcoming them, letting that take over their life, or pretending like it wasn't there at all.

Just like us.

In all reality, is it even reasonable to assume that anything is perfect? Doesn't everyone have their own dirty shame that they're afraid of revealing? Their own secret that they would never live down if someone else found out?

I know I do.

I took my shoes off then, rolled my pants up to my knees. The water would be freezing, but I didn't care. I didn't care if the water life didn't have a perfect community. They looked perfect and that was all that was missing from my life right now.

I could never escape the flaws of myself.

Without hesitation I pushed the bottom half of my legs into the water. Goosebumps immediately raised on my skin from the shock of temperature. Tiny air bubbles rose from between my toes. Fish came up and nibbled on my ankles. Plant life brushed against my legs. All welcoming me into their world.

I wondered idly why I could accept the fish's welcoming, but not the Cullen's.

I heard a rustle of bushes and squishing of grass behind me. I thought it was just an animal until I heard the footsteps walking across the wood of the board walk. Definitely that of a human.

I quickly made a plan to grab my shoes and start running through the muddy shore of the lake and onto land before the one behind my back could catch me. However, I must have moved too soon to get my shoes because a slightly familiar voice spoke.

"It's just me Bella." I heard, the noise seemed voluminous in the quiet. It almost seemed like a violation of privacy, but really there was nothing I could do about his presence, because nothing here was mine.

"Oh," I said glancing back at him, then to my shaking hand hovering just above me shoes. "Hey, uh-Emmett right?" I asked, hoping I had got his name right.

"Yeah." he said, he was wearing jeans and a light gray hoodie with big pockets that he had his hands buried in. He came up and stood behind me. I moved my shoes and scooted over so he could sit beside me. "Thanks." he said. I nodded in response.

We just sat there for awhile, awkwardly, until finally I heard him chuckle from under his breath.

"What's funny?" I asked, I couldn't help but smile.

"It's just that I knew you would be down here."

"How's that?" I asked, avoiding eye contact.

"This is where I came my first night at the Cullen's house."

Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!

lots. of. love.

PLT!

~AliceSwift