Dominos Chapter 18: Epilogue: The End Where I Begin, a glee fanfic

A/N: OK guys, the epilogue, as promised. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has stuck with this story to the bitter end, I know it was hard going at times (killing Finn last chapter almost killed me, believe me). So seriously, thank you. I can't believe the level of response to this piece.

As always, thank to everyone who reviewed since the last update: little-miss-beth, VoiceInMyHead, yowzers, seducedlikemagic, Kkaty, islay12, Lucy-Gleek, Mac and SawyersNumberOneFan. Reviews are love, so thank you.

I know some people will have questions at the end of this, like why I killed off certain characters over others, or will just want to vent at me for killing their favourites. Feel free to do this via review or PM and I will try to get back to you.

The title for the epilogue comes from the Script again, this time it's The End Where I Begin. Pretty self-explanatory. I've also included lyrics from Faith Hill's There You'll Be...

DISCLAIMER: Not Ryan Murphy. Glee's not mine. *cries*

/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

The investigation lasted several weeks, as did the medical treatment. They barely made it out of hospital in time for the memorial service, and Kurt had to have a paramedic on standby because his body was very susceptible to infection following his third operation to attempt to repair the damage to his internal organs.

The service was held in the grounds of William McKinley High School, where white marble monuments had been erected in memory of those who had died. Rumour had it that Sue Sylvester had given up half of her Cheerio's annual budget to have them made. There had been one moment in which some member of the school board had offered the suggestion that Jacob be remembered too. Apparently Sue had strapped said board member to a sled and pushed him from the top of the stairs.

It was a crisp clear morning. Almost the entire population of William McKinley High had turned out to show their respects; Karofsky and Azimio were notable only by their absence. Figgins had been happy to let them attend with the rest of the football team, but Sue had put her foot down and refused point-blank. The fierce cheerleading coach now sat a couple of rows from the front with her squad, who were mourning the loss of three of their number. They all wore their immaculate Cheerios uniforms, but they had black ribbons in their hair and wore matching bands around their forearms, their expressions masks of shock and grief.

The rest of the staff sat in front of the Cheerios, all clad in black for the occasion. Ken Tanaka wore an ill-fitting suit and sniffled noisily into a soiled handkerchief at intervals. Henri St Pierre had been released from rehab for the day; he had always nursed a soft spot for Emma. Even Figgins was treating the situation with the respect and decorum it deserved.

The chairs had been arranged in two sections, and on the other side of the makeshift aisle the parents of the glee club sat in a cluster. The ones who had lost children were dazed and weak, while the ones whose children had survived were at a loss for words. Burt Hummel sat dumbly next to Carole, both of them crying silently. Carole had lost a son, and while Burt's boy had made it, he too felt like he had lost a son. Finn and Kurt were brothers, and that made Finn his boy too. The Cohen-Changs and the Changs sat together, both mourning noisily and heart-brokenly. Most of the parents had come to a sort of grim acceptance, but the undercurrent of raw agony still remained.

When Will arrived, the first of the group to have been released from hospital after suffering only a minor concussion, he was acutely aware that all eyes were on him. He walked slowly up the aisle towards the rest of the staff, but found his way impeded by Sue.

The coach was wearing a plain black tracksuit and her expression was even harder than usual. Will braced himself, expecting one of her trademark tirades, but instead Sue held out a hand and took his in hers.

"William," she said succinctly. "I want you to know that no matter how much I abused those kids, no matter how much I professed my utter repulsion at their existence, I never wanted this to happen."

"Thank you, Sue. How are the Cheerios holding up?"

Sue shrugged. "I've trained them to deal with poisoning, limb amputation, attack by rival cheer squads, nuclear bombing, zombie epidemics... but I don't know what to tell them now. Lopez, Pierce, Q, they were some of the best cheerleaders I ever had William."

"And they were the girls' friends," Will finished, nodding knowingly. A look of understanding passed between the two, all enmity forgotten. It was only as Will settled himself in the seat next to Henri that he heard the familiar hiss in his ear.

"Don't worry William, come Monday I will return to my usual fierce self. I will give your glee club a period of grace, but Monday morning I will be back to terrorising you and your hair, which incidentally today looks like a mass of cute baby piglets have had their tails dismembered and surgically attached to your head."

Will couldn't help but smile; some things never changed.

Kurt arrived next, clambering down clumsily from the ambulance and then hurrying hastily away from the paramedic who had accompanied him. He stood at the back of the congregation, unable to move, as though the sight of the large crowd had brought everything back to him. He was dressed in a slate-grey three-piece suit and wore a sombre black tie and black patent dress shoes. His hair was immaculate again, but his face was paler than usual and gloomy violet shadows clotted the skin beneath his green eyes, which were devoid of life and emotion.

Next to arrive were Matt and Mercedes. The pair had come together, and they were hand-in-hand as they walked up to Kurt and embraced him protectively. The side of Mercedes' face was swathed in bandages, and both teens bore heavy linen wrappings down most of their sides. The skin grafts they had needed to repair their burns had been semi-successful, but both of them would bear the scars of their trauma forever. As they both held a shaking Kurt, Matt leaned across the thinner boy and kissed first the bandages covering the knife wound on Mercedes' cheek and then both corners of her lips. Mercedes smiled sadly and traced the mark where the bullet had entered Matt's shoulder. The trio then made their way to their seats at the front of the congregation, waiting.

Rachel came next, flanked on either side by her dads, who had refused to leave her side for even a minute since they had arrived at the hospital to find her sitting in between Puck and Kurt's beds looking lost and speechless for the first time in her life. The tiny girl was dressed in a black prom-style dress and like the Cheerios she wore a ribbon in her hair. She looked like she had forgotten how to sleep and her movements held none of their former poise and grace; she was listless, devoid of any energy.

"Come on baby," Hiram urged, but Rachel simply shook her head.

"I can't, Daddy," she whispered. "I don't want to... to say..."

She ran a shaking hand through her sheet of brown hair and smoothed down the front of her dress. Hiram nodded and he and Leroy made to take their little girl's hands. Rachel, however, shook her head and pulled away from them.

"I'd just like to stand here on my own for a little while," she murmured. Her dads nodded and pulled away. They made their way down the aisle and settled themselves next to Artie's mother and father, both of whom were sobbing silently. Rachel stood and stared up the aisle at the neat row of marble standing stones, each baring the name of one of her comrades-in-arms. Finn's stone stood in the middle of the row, almost taunting her.

Behind her, there was a crunch of wheels on gravel. Rachel tore her eyes away from Finn's name and turned slowly.

"Hey Berry."

Noah Puckerman was wheeling towards her in his brand new wheelchair. His Mohawk was gone and he wore an oversized McKinley High letterman jacket. With a jolt, Rachel realised that it was Finn's.

"I can take it off," Puck said hastily, noticing what she was looking at. "If you prefer-"

"I think he'd like you to have it," Rachel smiled gently. She moved gingerly towards him, resting a hand on the arm of his chair. "Nice wheels."

Puck grimaced.

"Dude, this bites. Now I know how Artie felt."

"The doctors wouldn't tell me, is there any chance...?"

Puck shook his head wearily. "Nope. This is it, this is my life now. That beam, it did somethin' to my spine, I dunno what, I wasn't really in the mood for a cosy chat with the doctor. Anyway, the result is I feel nothin' below the waist."

"Oh Noah, I'm sorry."

He shrugged good-naturedly. "Me too. But what're you gonna do? What's done is done."

"You're being so brave."

"Me?" he snorted incredulously. "I'm not the gun-toting badass. You're like Lara freakin' Croft or somethin'."

Rachel laughed a little in spite of herself. She stood behind Puck's chair and clasped the handles.

"I suppose we should go sit with the others," she said quietly.

"I suppose so."

Rachel pushed Puck up the narrow pathway between the seats, focusing on manoeuvring the chair without obstruction to avoid the eyes that stared at her as she passed them. The wondering, pitying, victimising eyes.

They took their seats, Rachel making a space for the wheelchair before sliding into the chair next to it. She dropped her head into her hands and breathed slowly in and out. To her right, Matt had his arm around Mercedes and leaned his head on her shoulder. Kurt, on Mercedes' other side, was trembling from head to toe, his foot jiggling the chair up and down on the unsteady ground. Rachel had never felt more alone, but then from nowhere, Puck's hand slid tentatively onto her clenched fist and gave it a squeeze.

On the small platform in front of the headstones, Principal Figgins had begun to speak, spouting nonsense about 'a terrible tragedy' and 'beloved members of the school community who would be sorely missed by all'. It made Rachel's blood boil, and from the way Puck's hand tightened around hers, she knew he was thinking the same thing. The glee club had always been ostracised, on the fringes of high school society. The only people they had been 'beloved' by were the rest of the glee club, Mr Schue and maybe Miss Pillsbury. This was a farce. All these hypocrites sitting here crying crocodile tears for people they had spent their time shoving into lockers and hitting with slushie facials. Principal Figgins standing on that platform bemoaning the loss of 'a delightful staff member' and 'some of the brightest lights at McKinley' when all he had ever done was try to save money by shutting them down. Bryan Ryan sitting with the rest of the school board, clapping at all the right moments and smiling sympathetically at Mr Schuester, when he had once tried to ruin the glee club in a fit of adolescent revenge. Hypocrites, every last one of them, pretending to care while the remnants of New Directions sat in shock and the parents who had lost sons and daughters tried to hold their lives together.

The only good thing about the service was its brevity. Once it ended, Rachel could breathe a sigh of relief.

The crowd began to move away and she turned to the rest of the group. There were only five of them left now, seven of their number as well as Miss Pillsbury stolen from them forever.

"I don't know about the rest of you," said Rachel quietly. "But I think we need to say goodbye. Properly."

Matt nodded eagerly, an action shadowed by both Mercedes and Kurt. Puck, however, was staring towards the back of the crowd with an expression caught somewhere between confusion and anger.

"Berry..."

Rachel whipped around to follow his line of sight and felt her jaw drop.

Standing at the back of the crowd, skittish and jumping every time anybody came close to him, was Jesse St James. Like Kurt, he was pale and unhealthy looking, and like Rachel his weight had plummeted. He was dressed in black for the occasion and held a wreath of white roses in his arms. Rachel could see that he was breathing rapidly, and he looked ready to faint as he scanned the crowd expectantly, a shell of his former self.

Before anyone could do anything, Rachel had clambered past a protesting Puck and was hurtling down the aisle.

"Jesse?" she whispered as she came close to him. He jumped again at the sound of her voice and stared around wildly, but she took his trembling hands gently. "Hi."

"R-rachel?"

"Jesse. It's good to see you."

"I h-had to make sure you were OK. The doctors, they said you were, but they lie to me a lot now, t-trying to keep me calm."

"Jesse, about what happened to you, with Jacob-"

He blanched at the mention of the name and swayed on the spot. Rachel stroked his hand soothingly.

"I don't want to talk about that. I'm just glad you're alright."

"Thank you," she murmured, and she hoped he realised that she meant it as a thanks for everything, for trying to protect her even in the face of torture, as well as for coming here. She could see the agony it was putting him through, and knew it must be a struggle after all he had been through. She glanced at the wreath in his trembling hands. "Is that for the rest of the club?" she whispered.

"Yeah. F-figured I ought to show my respects. I screwed you over- and I've never regretted anything more, I mean it- but I did actually like them. Might not have shown it, but then I always had an excellent showface."

Rachel smiled tentatively at that and made to move back up the aisle. She turned to Jesse.

"Come with me," she said hesitantly, and Jesse glanced backwards in unease.

"Uh... Rachel, that's not the only reason I came here." He made a gesture with a shaking index finger and a woman Rachel recognised as his mother came forward, a small bundle of blankets in her arms. "We were at Shelby's will reading this morning. She left you some money, her lawyer will contact your dads, but the thing is... she wanted Beth to go back to her biological parents if anything happened to her."

"You mean...?" Jesse nodded and a beam split Rachel's face, totally at odds with the situation. She took the slumbering baby in her arms and hurried up the aisle with Jesse following nervously behind her. The expression on Puck's face as she handed his daughter back to him was heart-warming.

"I... uh... thanks," he muttered to Jesse with a curt nod that Jesse returned. "I... Berry, can we do this? I can't stand it here much longer."

"Of course," Rachel replied, taking her place behind his chair once more and wheeling it into position between Finn and Quinn's stones. Jesse hung back for a moment before Matt and Mercedes rushed at him and dragged him forward to place his wreath beside Finn's memorial stone.

"Mr Schue," Kurt called, and it was the first time he had spoken since the police had arrived at the house on Lake Witkeel. Their teacher sat in his seat, even though the rest of the staff had disappeared. "Mr Schue, would you..."

He trailed off, but he didn't need to finish. Eyes shining, Will got slowly to his feet and joined his students. He placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and the smaller boy seemed to draw solace from the contact. He looked expectantly at Rachel, an action echoed by the rest of the group. Rachel nodded and placed a hand on Finn's stone, tracing his name for strength.

She glanced down the row of identical stones, both at her living friends and the names of her lost ones. Mercedes and Matt, standing alongside the names of Tina and Mike, Santana, Brittany. Kurt standing next to Mr Schuester, in between Artie and Miss Pillsbury's names. And Puck sitting next to her, holding Beth and smiling sadly down at her mother's name. She traced Finn's again.

"I- what brought us all together was glee club," she began shakily, and she was careful to include Jesse in this, an action he seemed to appreciate. "It's only in glee that you could have had cheerleaders and jocks working alongside a sci-fi nerd and a Goth. Only in glee that a scared boy could have found the courage to be himself and only in glee could he have been accepted without skipping a beat. Only in glee that two people so different- a football player and a diva- could find each other. Only in glee that one of the sweetest, bravest boys I've ever met could fall for an admittedly high maintenance, egotistic-"

"Badass," Puck interjected, raising a laugh from the rest of the group. He reached out again and squeezed Rachel's hand. She blinked back her tears and smiled at him.

"Only in glee that somebody like me could find people to care about her," she finished softly. She glanced around at the rest of the group with a little smile. "I thought that the most fitting way to- to say goodbye would be through song. It's what brought us all together, after all. You might not know it, but if you do please feel free to join in."

"Rachel Berry willingly givin' up a solo? Call the press," Puck muttered, but he was smiling good-naturedly. Rachel made a face at him and then moved to stand behind Finn's memorial, placing both palms on top of the smooth marble surface. She closed her eyes and drew up a mental image of the club together, singing to Mr Schue after their victory at Sectionals. Then she opened her mouth and began to sing.

"When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life"

She broke off, suddenly overcome by emotion.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, swiping at the tears spilling down her cheeks. She tried to recover herself and as she did so, Kurt's small voice piped up from the end of the line:

"When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me"

It had come to the chorus, and suddenly they were all singing, even Jesse. There was no music, but they had no need for it. They reached out and formed a chain, hands clasped in unity, as they sang in sweet, broken voices.

"In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be"

Mercedes clasped Matt's hand with a furiously strong grip as the two of them began to sing together, their voices blending perfectly.

"Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me"

As they finished, Puck smiled and held out a hand to Rachel, who moved forward to sing with him. They had never sung a duet together before; it felt nice, new.

"Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me"

Together, the remnants of New Directions sang the chorus once more. Jesse was shaking, clearly unsure as to whether or not he should be there. Will, spying this, moved forward and nodded to the young man, taking his hand as they took their turn to sing:

"'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always"

The final chorus had come and together they all stepped forward, slightly in front of the memorial stones commemorating their lost friends and companions. Puck smiled lopsidedly at Rachel as she took his hand on one side, Jesse's on the others. As one the group turned to face the stones and sang.

It was true, this was not the end, Rachel thought as she pulled away to place her hand against Finn's name once more and finish the song. Finn and the others were gone, but they would never be forgotten. Their memory would live on, and it would give the survivors the strength they needed to keep going. They would be in every breath they took, every song they sang. Mike would be in every dance move they completed successfully, Brittany in every blonde moment. Every cutting response to a bully would bear Santana's fierceness and every caring piece of advice would be Miss Pillsbury's. Every time one of them decided to be themselves, regardless of how different it made them appear, Tina would be there in spirit sporting full Gothic garb. Every nerdy sci-fi reference would be Artie finally rubbing off on them. Every time one of them faced a problem so mountainous they could not imagine how they would get through it, but did, they would remember Quinn. And every lopsided smile, every clumsily sweet compliment, every naively oblivious response to a situation, would be Finn's.

Rachel smiled tearfully and traced his name one final time. She glanced back at the rest of the group, whose expressions mirrored her own.

"There you'll be," she whispered, bringing both the song and the trauma to a fitting close.