American Dad
Roger and Klaus: Good Old Wenceslas
Klaus: Roger, piano!
Roger: Roger Fish! Hey, I said my name! (Laughs) That's classic!
Klaus: JUST PLAY THE PIANO!
Roger: Yes bossy fish! (Starts piano)
Klaus: (Clears throat):
Good King Wenceslas looked out
On the feast of Steven.
Steve: Did you say my name? What did I do?
Klaus: Nothing, I'm just singing the song of Good Old Wenceslas that's all. You're not in trouble, or at least I hope not.
Roger: Or Santa won't give you anything but coal for Christmas!
Steve: I'm too old to believe in Santa.
Roger: (Gasps) You gotta, you just gotta! Santa's real Steve, he's real!
Klaus: Guys! Can we just get back to the song? (Plays again) Thanks!
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even
Brightly shone the.. (Roger stops playing, but there is still music. Klaus looks at him)
Roger? Why stop playing?
Roger: (Yawns) The song's boring! It's about a lame king name Wence… whatever!
Klaus: (Angry) You take that back! You're disrespecting a great classical song from the 1800's! King Wenceslas was a great Cathlolic man! Do you have any idea who he was?
Roger: Sure I do; I'll show you. (Plays again)
King Wenceslas was by an English guy
Music's Scandinavian
For all of his good deeds, I assumed he went to heaven
And he kept his face unshaven
Unlike Klaus he wasn't German
But he was in fact, 100% human!
Klaus: Now you're just mocking me.
Roger: I'm not mocking you.
Klaus: Yes you are! Readers, tell me, is he mocking me?
Roger: I should have a lot of gifts
Every Christmas Season
Klaus: Okay, now you're just copying Phineas and Ferb
Roger: Oh, shut up fish! Who is disrespecting the song now? That's right; you are!
Klaus: No I'm not! You started it! I'm preventing you to do it! Stop right now Roger! Roger!
Roger: Oh, shush fish, and let me sing!
When I see presents only addressed to me
It's always and forever will be so pleasin'
If I don't get want I want
I'll spatter you with my slime goo
And trust me, then you'll feel like a fool!
Francine: Okay, we're out of time
Klaus: (Shocked) What, what!? But I only sang four lines! I spent all of last night and this morning rehearsing! It's not fair! (Cries)
Francine: Awe, it's alright Klaus, you'll get the next one
Klaus: (Points angrily at Roger) You; you ruined the song! You're a classic song killer! Now the readers will have to go someplace else for the real lyrics and song! It's your fault; it's all your fault! (Cries again)
Roger: Remember what the Grinch said in the Jim Carrey version said Klaus! There'll will be no crying on Christmas.
Klaus: It's not Christmas you fool!
Roger: Whatever, it's close to it anyways! You can't have everything you want Klaus. Now, good night everybody!
The Smith Family- O Christmas Tree
Stan: O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
How lovely are your branches!
In beauty green will always grow
Through summer sun and winter snow
Francine: O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree,
How lovely are your branches!
Steve: O Christmas Tree, o Christmas tree,
You are the tree most loved!
How often you give us delight
In brightly shining Christmas light!
O Christmas Tree, o Christmas tree,
You are the tree most loved!
Roger: O Roger, o Roger, you are so smart and clever
Much pleasure thou can't give me!
O Roger, o Roger,
On Christmas night
I am such a delight,
O Roger, o Roger
I shine so brightly!
Stan: Roger, you're not singing it right, let Klaus take a turn
Klaus: O Tannenbaum, o tannenbaum,
wie treu sind deine Blätter!
Du grünst nicht nur
zur Sommerzeit,
Nein auch im Winter, wenn es schneit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
wie treu sind deine Blätter
Roger: What on Earth are you singing our foreign fish
Can't you please give us an explanation?
Klaus: I am singing German for that is my wish
For it is the country I so dearly have deep affection!
Roger: You don't like America? Traitor!
Klaus: No, no, I do like America, just not as much as Germany. (Gets angry) I was born from there you know! (Calm) Anyways, did you know the song O Christmas tree originated in Germany?
Family (Shocked)
Francine: Really? That's so cool Klaus!
Klaus: Yeah, I know! This song has come a long ways. So now, when you sing this, you can think of mien fellow Germans!
Hayley: That's interesting Klaus.
Stan: Right! Now, let's sing the finale!
All: O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy candles shine out brightly!
Each bough doth hold its tiny light,
That makes each toy to sparkle bright.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy candles shine out brightly!
Klaus: O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Das soll dein Kleid
mich lehren!
(To Roger) You know Roger, you are a song killer, you know that?
Roger: Yeah, I know.
Roger: Grandma got run over by a Reindeer
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from ours on Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Steve, we believe.
Steve: No I don't, I don't believe in Santa.
Roger: Yes you do Steve, yes you do.
She was drinking too much, and going psycho
So she turned her walk home into a freak show
Grandma got run over by a reindeer (giggles)
Oh, I can't take it anymore! It's too funny. An old lady getting trampled by a reindeer? Hilarious!
Klaus: (Gasp in shock) There is nothing funny about a grandma getting run over by anything. Nothing!
Roger: Oh can it fish! Can't you see; I'm on a roll!
Klaus: (Mutters madly to himself)
Roger: We begged her not to go
But she persisted, and went out in the snow
When we found her Christmas morning
At the scene of the attack
She had hoof prints on her forehead
And blood drippin' down her back
Klaus: (Whispers to reindeer)
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Steve, we believe!
Steve: I already told you; no I don't!
Roger: Oh hush Steve!
We're so proud of… (Falls on floor, laughing)
Oh, I can't take it anymore; this is priceless!
Klaus: Oh, I won't be laughing any more Roger!
Roger: (Stands up, looks at Klaus) Why? What devious plan do you have in your mind devil fish? Come on, out with it! I want to know what you are… (Gets run over by reindeer, falls face down)
Klaus: Now it's funny!
Roger: (Muffled) I hate you Klaus!
Klaus: Roger got run over by a reindeer
We are all witnesses, even Steve
Now, you may say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Steve, we believe.
Steve: I do not!