Itachi entered the room and took a few moments to obverse what lay in front of him. A bald Deidara was standing just outside his workshop where a few trails of smoke were still drifting lazily out the door. His robe was torn and slightly burnt at the end of both sleeves and he seemed to be trying to repress a look of rage and embarrassment. In the middle of the room Sasori was standing still, looking at Itachi with a mixture of relief and excitement to hear the news of his trip. A few feet away from Sasori, Kisame was leaning his sword against the wall, his face slowly unflushing from the intense burst of laughter that had just passed.
"Sigh...I leave for a couple of days and I return to...this... You men are a disgrace to our order." stated Itachi in an authorative voice.
-"Hey! I was hard at work this whole time! It's these two shitheads over here that were about to kill each other!" snapped Deidara.
-"Yeah, but luckily Deidara lightened the mood for us just in time with his "hard work"." Snickered Kisame, loving the red fury he could see building in Deidara's face.
-"Enough! Deidara honestly you did yourself a favour with that, you were starting to look like Tsunade in her teen years." stated Itachi in the same calm voice. This brought even more laughter to Kisame who could barely hold himself up anymore and had tears rolling down both his cheeks. Itachi continued: "Now if you guys are all done fucking around, I've got some news for you."
The effect was instant. Kisame's laughter ended as quickly as it had started and he stood straight, listening attentively. Deidara's face returned to its regular colour and he too looked intrigued.
"Please tell me we can leave this damn hellhole already!" shouted Sasori. "If I have to spend another day in this cramped little excuse for a hideout with these guys, I'm gonna lose it!"
Itachi sighed slightly but answered. "Yes we will be leaving but not immediately. We have a long mission ahead of us and we will need to stay here one more night in order to rest and prepare. Now everyone shut up and let me explain what is going on. This is a matter of importance enough to Pain for him to send one of his figures personally to deliver the details so I expect your undivided attention."
And he had it. Itachi explained that through days of searching in obscure books, Pain had found a mention of a new Jinchuriki, a ten-tails. It was said that the ten-tails' power surpassed that of all other tailed beasts. The amount of chakra it possessed was equal to that of the nine others combined. Needless to say this had become the Akatsuki's top priority. If they controlled this one tailed beast, it would not matter if they ever got control of the others. They would simply have to eliminate them one by one until only the ten-tails remained and they controlled the highest power in the entire world. Pain had chosen them because he considered them to be his strongest and most versatile team. This was a mission that would require an amazing amount of stealth as the holder of the ten-tails was a chunin of the leaf village. It is said the ten-tails had entered her at birth in order to hide itself from a world it sensed was growing greedier and more power hungry than ever before. Neither the girl nor her family had any idea of this. Pain had refused to explain more than necessary stating that if he had managed this discovery others were bound to in time and had left leaving Itachi to hurry back in order to inform the team and make preparations.
"So who's the bitch?" sneered Deidara.
-"A young woman of the Hyuga clan. She goes by the name of Hinata, heiress to the main bloodline. Our instructions are clear. Capture her as swiftly and silently as possible. The quieter this is, the better, the girl doesn't know of her extraordinary power and we absolutely do NOT want her finding out while we are trying to retrieve her. Understood?"
A disappointed grumble of agreement ran through the room. Itachi knew they were all hoping for an action packed mission but his orders were clear and he was intent on following them to the letter.
"Alright then. Deidara, you're in charge of collecting water for the beginning of our journey. We will be walking through the deserts of the Country Of Wind and thus water is of primordial importance. Kisame, you will be in charge of collecting food supplies. We will be able to find some as we go in the desert but it will be rare and having a good amount of emergency supplies will keep us from going hungry through the more arid stretches. Sasori, I want you to come with me. Your puppet skills may be great but for a mission that requires this amount of stealth hand to hand combat is the best option and your skills in that department a quite lacking compared to the rest of the team."
-"WHAT? I can defend myself just as well as anyone he..."
A swift punch to the groin from Itachi sent him sprawling.
"My point is proven" muttered Itachi in a perfectly normal tone.
-"What...the...fucking...shit...fuck...aaaaaah...bitch!" wimpered Sasori as he lay bent with both his hands painfully cupping his genitals.
-"Get up and we begin training immediately. Any more complaints and I'll add fire to the next one. Now does everyone understand their duties?" he continued in the same emotionless voice.
Kisame and Deidara responded affirmatively while Sasori moaned something that everyone took for an agreement although it sounded more along the line of "I'm going to fucking kill you".
Deidara and Kisame both left the room and headed towards the river. Sasori trembled his way back up to his feet and stared at Itachi with rage, awaiting the next steps.
"One evening of training clearly is not enough to make any significant difference here", stated the Uchiha, "so Pain has given me a very special instruction for you in order to quickly boost you up to speed for this mission. This is to be received with the highest honour in your part as Pain has quite literally sacrificed a part of one of his selves in order to accomplish this. Although I must warn you, it's going to hurt like a bitch."
-"I'm not sure what's worse, your warning or the fact that this is serious enough to make you sound almost human" said Sasori behind a nervous smile.
-"What I have here in my pocket is about to change your life forever..." murmured Itachi.