Itachi awoke at sunrise. The others were still fast asleep. He knew he would have to get them all up soon but this seemed like the perfect opportunity to get a word in with Sasori. He walked over to where the puppeteer had passed out the night before and shook him gently, not wanting him to make too much noise.
"Mmm no Deidara...for the last time I won't touch you there..." he mumbled in his sleep.
Itachi paused trying to hold in a laugh, something he couldn't remember having to do in a long time. He shook Sasori again and this time he awoke with a slight start not seeming to have realised what he just said.
"Ugh...the fuck man...I feel like I got knocked out by a three thousand pound sumo wrestler..." grumbled Sasori.
"Yes. The elixir you drank combined with the chakra switch will do that. But enough about that, we've got some quick business to cover before I wake the others. I told them your eye was injured because of a kunai accident training yesterday and that it will be too sensitive to remove the patch for a while. Obviously I expect you to stick with this story; the eye patch does not come off unless we face a situation of extreme danger." explained Itachi firmly.
Sasori agreed and they proceeded with waking the other two. Both grumbled and complained when they were woken up but within a few minutes everyone was dressed and packed. They prepared a quick breakfast of a few roots and leaves they found nearby, agreeing to keep the fish for the long trip through the desert. Once they finished eating, they divided their water supply between the canteens they each carried at their side. They set off quietly towards the desert.
They reached the desert after an hour without any interruptions. Deidara and Sasori were discussing the artistic values of puppets and explosives and coming up with ways to combine both while Kisame and Itachi tried to figure out ways to get Hinata without causing a stir in the village. Their conversation was almost a complete opposite of the artist's one as neither seemed to be able to think of a plan that had a strong chance of succeeding.
"Everyone stop." Itachi said suddenly.
Everyone halted and looked at him wondering about the cause for the hold up. Itachi grabbed a handful of kunai and was about to throw them at the bushes at the edge of the woods behind them when a voice cried out.
"Oh no! Don't hurt me sir! I'm a good boy!" and a man stood out from behind one of the bushes.
He wore an orange mask with only one eye hole and a swirl pattern that had its center where the eye whole was. He wore the exact same robe as them.
"My name is Toby sir! Oh boy! I'm so excited to meet you all!" he said with a surprisingly childish voice for a man of his stature.
"Where the hell did you get that robe?" asked Deidara not knowing whether he should be angry or cautious at this strange intruder.
"Oh Toby's been watching you in the hideout for days and you are all so cool! Toby wants to be just like you! Toby ran to the village and had it made to look exactly like yours! Am I in now? Oh please please please!"
There was a slight pause while the shocked group took in what Tobi had just said.
"NO!" they all suddenly answered.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" yelled Deidara
"You've been spying on us this whole time?" said Sasori.
"You think our group accepts idiots?" sneered Itachi.
"Did you laugh when this guy exploded?" asked Kisame pointing at Deidara.
The whole group turned to face Kisame. The vein in Deidara's head had reappeared and even Itachi looked like he wanted to hit someone.
"Why Tobi did find that quite amusing!" exclaimed the newcomer.
"Never mind what I said earlier. I like this guy" smirked Kisame.
"But Tobi thought the explosives were beautiful too!" he continued
Deidara's vein disappeared suddenly. "Oh you did? Actually I've been working on those quite some time. I see you know your arts. Maybe you're not so bad after all."
"You guys have got to be fucking kidding..." said Sasori in complete disbelief of how easily this idiotic newcomer was winning over what was supposed to be an elite criminal team.
"Kisame! Deidara! Smarten up you two! We've got no room for this ditz on our team! We have a very clear and very important mission to accomplish! Does this idiot look like Akatsuki material to you?" stated Itachi in an angry tone.
"But...Tobi...good boy...Tobi is..." stuttered tobi sounding shocked and sad.
"If you have really seen everything you say you have we should kill you. But you seem like to much of an idiot to cause us any trouble so I will let you go. This is your last warning. Do not follow us or next time we will kill you. Anyway this is a desert so there is no way you could follow us. Now leave" ordered Itachi.
Toby turned his back, slouching and looking depressed as he slowly walked away and back into the forest.
"I still think he seemed like a cool guy" muttered Kisame.
The group marched on quietly. They walked for hours on end in the endless desert. The sun was setting and the air was starting to have a cold bite to it. The group agreed it was time to set up camp for the night. Luckily Itachi's fire jutsu allowed them to have a fire that would burn on nothing and thus keep them warm overnight. They had no tents, packing lighter allowed them to move faster. Each member removed his cloak and set it on the sand as a blanket to sleep on. They were all laying down when Kisame noticed a light in the distance that looked like it might be another fire.
He told the others he was going to check it out. They let him go, knowing if it was a bandit that Kisame was strong and sneaky enough not to cause any big disturbances. He made his way a few hundred meters, advancing slowly and being careful of where he stepped.
He was only about 20 meters away but hidden by an odd bush.
Or so he thought. The figure turned and looked right at him. The figure stood up and without warning ran right towards where Kisame was crouched.