Small Note of Explanation: Woohoo, I'm keepin' the author's note tradition runnin' strong! Heheh. Just thought I'd pop in to let everyone know that I wrote this chapter a little bit differently. The story is going to flip back and forth periodically between Houjun's childhood memories and his present-day experiences. You'll know the transition by the indents and italics, naturally, but just keep in mind that these are not the typical flash-back scenes - they're just memories I felt like writing. Couldn't resist!
--Sanctuary--
"Hand in hand, we used to play up on this hill.
The same wind from back then seems to be blowing today.
'Ancient memories,' 'shining eyes'
Called back from the dimness,
These memories are coming together."
~Okui Masami; "Sora ni Kakeru Hashi" (A Bridge Soaring Across the Sky)~
The next two weeks passed by in a hellish haze of nightmares, visions and headaches for Houjun, who was helpless to stop the unwanted memories from striking him at any given time, from attacking when he least expected them. There didn't seem to be any escape for him, no matter what he did or where he went. School, home, the marketplace... something always triggered his waiting nightmare, something would force him to face another disturbing vision, another piercing headache, another memory he could not possibly possess.
The young man had eventually slipped into a tired, despairing silence that even his closest companions had a hard time of breaking him from. His parents and siblings did what they could for their beloved family member, but nothing seemed to work. He always insisted that he was fine, even when it was obvious to all that he most definitely was not. Houjun even continued going to school, though he was so distracted from his studies that he could remember almost nothing from the past lessons. His grades and social life had been dropping dramatically, with everyone - including himself - helpless to prevent it.
Kouran and Hikou had grown increasingly worried about their friend, and had spent many nights in one another's company, discussing what to do about his current state. Finally, the pair reached a solution that neither had particularly wanted to make: they would have to get Houjun to tell them about his visions. The longer he kept them bottled up, the harder it would become for him to continue living. No matter how painful it might be, they knew it had to be done: for Houjun's sake, and for their own.
The trio of friends were walking to school, as they always did, when Kouran finally got up the nerve to speak. "Houjun," she said timidly, touching her hand lightly his. "Hikou and I came to a decision, recently."
"Did you?" he asked quietly, not bothering to turn his tired eyes up from the dirt road they walked, almost as if he were afraid to focus on anything but the familiar path to school.
The young woman nodded. She took a breath to gather her courage and her thoughts, then spoke gently to her beloved. "We've decided that you have got to talk to someone about what's been happening these past few weeks. About these... headaches. Whatever it is that's got you so depressed, so quiet and distracted, well... nobody can help you with it unless you tell them what it's wrong. I know you prefer to keep your personal problems to yourself, but..."
"Sometimes you've just gotta talk, ya know?" Hikou interjected, picking up the narrative with a bit less gentleness but no less passion than his female companion. "Hell, Houjun, you haven't been acting like yourself at all recently. You're quiet, anti-social, always thinking about something else, and your grades have plummeted in the past two weeks, which, to be honest, may very well be a sign of the apocalypse. Even when your own grandmother died, you didn't let that happen!"
"Yukari-san spoke to me, the other day," Kouran continued. "She said that she, and the rest of your family, are really scared for you: for your physical and mental health. To see you so... not yourself... a lot of people care about you, Houjun. We want to see you happy. And we want to help you become that happy, optimistic person we all love again. We're worried about you, Houjun. I'm worried about you."
The young man was silent for a time, following a speck of dirt across the ground as the wind carried it lazily along. After a moment, he sighed heavily and nodded. "Hai. I know," he said quietly. "I've been trying so hard not to make everyone worry, but... the harder I try, the more worked up everybody else gets. I wish there was something I could do..."
Kouran put a hand on Houjun's right arm at the same time Hikou clapped his hand to his left shoulder. "There is something you can do," the young woman assured him. "You can talk to us, Houjun. About headaches, visions, dreams... anything you need to talk about, you know you can talk about it with us. That's how it's always been. And that's how it'll always be."
He could tell that the two of them were waiting expectantly, but he didn't know what to tell his closest friends. If he refused to tell them about it - refused because he knew it would bring them pain - it would only result in worsening their current pain. He couldn't win. Like in everything, these days, he just couldn't win.
Houjun turned his eyes upwards, letting them fall upon the school building that stood at the end of the block. His heart sunk at the thought of another day stuck in class, trying to pretend everything was normal, trying to pretend he was normal. How could he ace tests when his mind was a thousand miles away? How could he laugh with his classmates when his life was so very humourless, when the next word might trigger a headache, or the next teacher's lesson unleash a new "memory"? The thought of continuing such a terrible act made him sick; he was tired of playing his given role for the sake of others.
"Do you think..." he asked quietly, momentarily avoiding their question. "Do you think we could go somewhere else, today? Going to school, acting like life is perfect... I don't think I can stand that charade another day..."
Hikou and Kouran's eyes widened in surprise, then narrowed again in understanding. The young man was the first to speak. "What's this? The angelic Ri Houjun, cutting class?" he chuckled. "Now I know it's the beginning of the apocalypse."
Kouran grabbed Houjun's hand, turning him around and forcing him to meet her eyes. She smiled assuredly, speaking for both she and Hikou. "That sounds like a great idea, Jun-kun," she said, using his childhood nickname. "And I think I know the perfect place to go."
"You do?" he asked, a small flicker of hope in his deadened mahogany eyes. Somewhere to go. An escape. When was the last time he had been blessed with one of those? "Where?"
His beloved's gentle smile turned into a mischievous grin. She winked, wagging a finger in front of his face. "Where else but paradise itself?"
Houjun looked around the crowded schoolyard, searching for a familiar face among all the new ones. Though so far his first day of school had been wonderfully interesting, it was still a little intimidating and he didn't want to sit with any strangers right now. After a moment, he spotted Kouran sitting next to another boy; clutching his lunch to his chest, he trotted over to join them.
"Hao, Kou-chan!"
"Hao, Jun-kun!" she replied with a smile, scooting over on the log to give him some room to sit down. "What did your mama pack for you? Do ya wanna trade or share?"
"Mm!" Houjun nodded. His mahogany eyes turned towards the other boy who was on the log. Houjun recognized him as one of the children his age who sat in the corner of the classroom. He hadn't spoken to him yet that day, but he had noticed him quietly watching the teacher with his dark eyes.
His midnight blue hair was tied back in a short topknot, and he sported clothing that had seen much better days. He looked up at the young boy with defensive, somewhat challenging eyes; Houjun hesitated, but then decided to be nice and mustered up his courage to speak.
"Hao! I'm Ri Houjun. I guess you've already met Kou-chan. We've been friends for forever, that's why we call each other that. I haven't seen you around town before. What's your name?"
"Yamazaki Hikou," he said quietly, voice a low growl - or perhaps a shy whisper? "I just moved in from the country. That's why you never seen me b'fore."
"Yoroshiku," Houjun said politely. "Do you wanna share and trade lunches with me and Kou-chan? My mama packed some pretty good stuff!"
He scuffed his slippered foot into the ground, not meeting Houjun's gaze. "Don't have any lunch."
"How come? Didn't your mama make you one?"
"Don't got a mama."
"Well, then didn't your papa make you one?"
"Papa's too busy," Hikou muttered. "I bother him with stuff like that and he'll get mad. 'Sides, we don't got enough money for things like that."
Houjun frowned. He was much too young to understand the difference between rich and poor, but his father had told him that he was extremely lucky to be as well-off as he was, and that he needed to always be generous to those who weren't as lucky. He assumed that Hikou was one of those people. "Well..." Houjun dug through his sack, until he produced some plump, juicy-looking fruits and two rice cakes. "Here! You can have these! My mama packed way too much for me to eat anyway."
Hikou looked at the food in surprise and apprehension, almost as if he expected them to be poisoned. Maybe, Houjun thought, he wasn't used to people being nice to him. He certainly looked like he'd had a particularly hard life for a six-year old. Timidly, the dark-haired boy held out his hands; Houjun dropped the food into them, giving his friendliest smile. "A... arigatou."
"No problem!" Houjun assured him. He took a seat between Hikou and Kouran, watching with a giggle as the newcomer practically inhaled the offered meal. "Do you wanna be our friend? I haven't met anyone at school yet so it'd be nice to have a friend."
Hikou looked up, dark eyes wide with surprise. "T-tomodachi?"
"Hai!" Kouran spoke up, leaning around Houjun to look at the other boy. "I like you. You can call me Kou-chan. You can have some of my lunch too, if you wanna."
"A... arigatou, Kou-chan, Ri-kun."
"Just call me Houjun-kun, Hikou-kun!"
"H-hai, Houjun-kun..."
A few minutes later the three comrades stood before a moss- and vine-covered, apparently solid wall of stone. The wall rose several feet above their heads, then tapered off into a hill that gently sloped the other direction. The hill had been used for years as a playground for many of the village's children, but the stone cliff itself had always been regarded as somewhat dangerous - many had been injured, falling from the steep precipice and to the rock-littered ground below. Which, Houjun reasoned, was probably why nobody had discovered this heavenly secret before he and his friends, and why nobody probably would discover it again for many years to come.
At the moment, though, it looked as if the secret was going to stay a secret. Hikou was currently running his hands along the vines, poking around the center of the rock face for something only he and his two companions knew about.
Houjun leaned against the wall, tapping one foot impatiently. "Are you sure this is the place?"
"Of course I'm sure, I used to come here all the time without the two of you! Hell, this was more my home than my actual home was!" Hikou responded with mock severity. At the mention of his home away from home, the young man smiled fondly. "Heh, it's been a while since I've been back here... not since I was fifteen, I think... be nice to see how the old place is doing."
"If we can ever get inside," Houjun shot back with a small smile. He paused thoughtfully, then frowned as an idea struck him. "Oi... you don't think there was a rock slide or something, do you? That maybe the entrance was blocked off, or that the whole thing was..." he trailed off, not wanting to consider the idea. To have such a place ruined, such a beautiful, hidden oasis that he now needed more than ever...
Kouran chuckled at her companions' efforts. "No, I don't think that's it. I just think that Hikou's looking in the right place at the wrong spot."
"Eh?" the taller of the two men raised an eyebrow, shooting his childhood friend a questioning stare. "And what, may I ask, O All-Knowing Koujo-sama, is that supposed to mean?"
She shook her head at his indignation, then knelt next to her two friends. "Baka. We were a lot shorter back then, weren't we? The entrance wouldn't have been as high as your hands are now - it would've been further down, maybe about halfway. Like, perhaps, right about..." Kouran pulled apart a set of vines, smiling and gesturing towards a wide but low-roofed tunnel. "Here?"
Hikou bowed gracefully, lowering his head in feigned shame. "Forgive my incurable rudeness, Koujo-sama. Your words are much wiser than my own." He courteously grabbed the slippery vines from her grasp, holding them well away from the entrance so his friends could fit through unscathed. "In penance, I'll be the footman today, all right? You and Houjun go on in and make sure the place is in good shape, then I'll see if I can squeeze my overgrown body into this little hole." As Kouran, doubled over, crept into the old hideout, Hikou glanced up and winked at his male companion. "Looks like your small size will actually come in handy for once, doesn't it little guy?"
"Hi-kouuuu...!"
"Kou-chan, are you sure this is where you found it?"
"Sure I'm sure!" the little girl argued, shoving at the stone wall in search of an opening. "When me 'n' Airi-chan-tachi were playing hide-and-seek yesterday, I came over here to find a good place and accidently fell through these vines. It's gotta be here, somewhere."
"Sure hope no one finds us messin' around out here," Houjun remarked, glancing about somewhat fearfully. "You know we're not really s'posed to be out here, 'cause of the kids that've gotten hurt tryin' to climb and fallin' from this thing, and all."
"Oh, don't be such a scaredy-neko, Jun-kun!" Hikou said with a snort. "What're they gonna do if they find us, huh? My Papa isn't gonna care about somethin' like this, and your parents never done anything worse to you than ground ya for a week." The boy leaned against the side of the stone wall, putting his hands behind his head and yawning. "Anyway, I think Kou-chan's makin' stuff up. Ain't no way there's a cave around this - yikes!"
With a yelp and a whump, Hikou fell backwards into the mossy stone wall, disappearing entirely from his friends' view. Houjun leapt up from where he was sitting, rushing over to the spot where his best friend had disappeared. "Hi-kun!? Hi-kun, doko ka?"
Houjun glanced down, jumping in surprise as his comrade's head peeked its way out of a veil of vines. Hikou glanced up, grinning and giggling helplessly. "Heehee, looks like I found Kou-chan's hiding place! It ain't very friendly, though, draggin' me in like that!"
The female member of the trio put her hands on her hips, scowling down at her young friend. "That's what you get for calling me a fibber, Hi-kun! Now, come on, pull those vines back and let me and Jun-kun through."
"Right away, Koujo-sama!" Hikou did as he was told, waiting until his two friends were in the short tunnel before letting the vines drop back into place, sealing the trio in a world of murky darkness.
Kouran grabbed onto Houjun's arm, peering ahead into the shadows. "I don't think I like this anymore, Jun-kun. It's too dark for anything fun, anyway. Maybe we ought to forget about it."
He smiled down at her, waving a dismissive hand. "Aw, c'mon, Kou-chan, it's nothing to be afraid of. Maybe it'll lighten up a bit as we go. Look, we're almost at the end of the tunnel, so let's just see what's in here."
"B-but what about monsters, Jun-kun? The older kids at school say they like to hide out in dark caves."
"Aw, don't worry Kou-chan, me 'n' Hi-kun'll protect you from any monsters. An' anyway, I don't think they'd wanna live in a little cave like this. Not enough room for a real demon, know what I mean?"
The trio took a few more steps into the darkness, until the tunnel widened quite abruptly into a spacious cave. Moss glistened off the walls of the small cavern, reflecting the light that streamed through a few holes in the ceiling. A little stream even sat in one corner of the area, bubbling forth from an underground spring only to travel a few feet and disappear once more into the ground. Houjun, Hikou and Kouran gaped at the sight, transfixed by the simple beauty of their discovered hideaway.
"It must take up the entire hill," Kouran whispered, almost as if she were afraid that speaking would break the spell that hung over the cavern. She pulled away from her deathlock on Houjun's arm, taking a few steps forward to explore the cave further. "Like someone hollowed the whole thing out, just for us..."
Houjun grinned, his creative brain already whirling. "Sou da [That's right], just for us, Kou-chan! Suzaku must've known we needed someplace special to go, where we could play all day without anyone else bothering us! And this is what he made for us!" The boy, now on a roll, spread his arms as if to embrace the entire cavern. "Suzaku put magic spells all around it, so no one else'll ever find it! This is our cave, just the three of us! And when we're here, nobody'll be able to find us, either! We'll always be safe, from bullies an' monsters an' teachers an', an'..."
"An' fathers, too...?"
Houjun and Kouran whirled at the sound of their third companion's voice. Hikou was still standing in the entrance of the cave, staring around as if he could live off the sight of the oddly majestic place. He glanced over at his friends hopefully, eyes shining with the threat of tears. "Nobody... nobody can find us here? We're absolutely safe? Nobody can hurt us, or...?" His lower lip trembled, as if he were afraid to believe something so good could be true.
The pair of children nodded, walking over and grabbing Hikou's hands. Houjun smiled his best "daijoubu" smile, tugging at his friend's arm as he drug him towards the center of the cave. "That's right, Hi-kun. In here, there's nothing but the three of us. No other worries, no other problems... no other people. It's like another world. And it's all ours."
"All ours...?" Kouran stopped suddenly, turning to look at her friends "Hey guys, let's make a pact! Let's promise never to tell anyone else about this, no matter what, okay? This'll be our Secret Place, like Jun-kun said. Just the three of us."
Her two male companions glanced at one another, then smiled and nodded. "Mm!"
Kouran held out her pinkie; her friends looped theirs around hers. The trio paused for a moment, closed their eyes, then all said at once: "A secret's a secret and a lie's a lie, I won't tell 'till the day I die. And if I ever ever ever break this promise, I hope that lightning'll strike me twice! Pin - kie - swear - it!"
"Eternal truth, shine through," Kouran finished solemnly. She looked up again, breaking away from her companions and glancing up at the cave. "Well, we've got a secret hideout! I guess all we need now is a name!"
Houjun looked up as well, eyes sparkling with the prospect of using his imagination once more. "A name? You think we oughta give it a name?"
"Sure!" Kouran agreed, waving a hand at the surrounding area. "We gotta have some kind of code for it, that way we can talk about it during school without anyone knowing! Besides, it's a special base, and you've gotta give a special base a name!"
The boy put a hand to his chin thoughtfully, eyes narrowing as he searched his brain for a fitting description. "Hm... let's see... it's kinda like our Fortress, all for us, isn't it? Hm, but what kind of Fortress? It's so big, but Hidoi Toride doesn't really sound all that good. It's a secret, but Oumyou Toride just isn't right, either. Hm..."
"Paradaisu."
Once again, Kouran and Houjun found themselves whirling to face the third member of their group, who had been more-or-less silent since his initial outburst. The young boy had walked over to a nearby wall; he was currently staring hard at the stone, touching it with one hand almost reverently.
"Hi-kun?"
"It's perfect," he whispered quietly, the cavern carrying his small voice over to his friends. "Everything about it... it's just so perfect... it's like some kind of paradise." He turned his head towards his best friends, tears of joy pouring freely down his face. "We'll always be safe in here. And we'll always be happy in here. Nobody can hurt us, ever. So let's call it Paradaisu no Toride."
Kouran walked over and hugged her comrade tightly, letting him cry out his happiness into her dress. Houjun made his way over to his two allies, putting a friendly hand on Hikou's trembling shoulder. He smiled gently across the young boy's back, meeting Kouran's eyes. She returned the happy smile. If they could bring such delight to the young boy's dismal world, then their hideout had already served its most beautiful purpose.
"All right, Hi-kun. Paradaisu no Toride it is."
Houjun swiveled wildly, trying to take in the entire cavern at once. He had not visited the old hideaway since his fourteenth birthday, and was surprised at how much of it he had forgotten. The fountain of fresh spring water that they would splash one another with; the craggy walls they would climb and the hanging vines they would swing from; the rock pile in the corner that had served as many forts and palaces in years of pretend playing... the list continued endlessly. A chuckle - a noise he had hardly made in the past weeks - tore its way from the young man's throat. Now here were memories he knew, memories he could understand and love!
Hikou's laughter brought the young man out of his quiet reverie. "Haha, does this place ever bring back some memories!" He nodded towards a small rock that jutted out from the edge of the cave. "Remember when we used to play 'Byakko Seishi' over there? Me and Houjun used to switch between Tatara and that demon lord - what was his name? - oh, yeah, Tenkou! Man, we never quit thinking up plotlines for that one!"
Kouran frowned, taking a delicate seat on the ground. "For the longest time, I hated that game! You two always made me play Suzuno, and I got so tired of being the damsel in distress."
Houjun grinned, turning to face his two friends. "Hai, that's right. And one day you got fed up with it and told us so, you remember? Hikou started saying how you had to play the girl, because you were one, and only men were fit to play heroes and villains..."
"And then she made me play Suzuno!" Hikou reminisced, feigning anger.
"I'll never forget how well he shrieked when Kouran dangled him over the 'cliff', threatening to toss him to his death!" Houjun exclaimed, taking a seat on the stone floor as he was arrested by a fit of chuckles.
"And I'll never forget how well Kouran played Tenkou! She kicked our asses in that role," Hikou added, throwing his female friend a wink. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman playing a demon, ne?"
"Oh yeah? Well I'll never forget how, when Houjun tried to save the 'miko in danger,' he tripped over a stone, grabbed wildly at the so-called maiden, and you both wound up falling off the rock!" Kouran finished, smiling teasingly at her beloved. "I looked over that ledge at the two of you, little 'Suzuno' pinned under 'Tatara' in the most provocative position, and nearly fell off myself, I was laughing so hard."
Houjun slapped the ground in memory. "And then, and then, Hikou said-"
"Dammit, Tatara, not until after the wedding!" they all cried at once, bursting into helpless peals of laughter.
Hikou took off across the cavern again, looking around at all the familiar locations. "See, Houjun?" he said once the chuckles had subsided. "This is what you needed, to get away from the real world for a while, just like we used to do when we were kids." He glanced over at his friend, waiting expectantly. "Now, maybe if you could tell us about what's bothering you, we could really set things right."
The young man turned his gaze away from his companion's. He still had no answer to give. He didn't know what he could possibly tell them, anyway. Didn't know how he could possibly tell them about it: about the kiss, the flood, their own deaths...
Once again, the dark-haired man's voice brought Houjun away from his private world and back to reality. "Oi, Houjun! Hey, c'mon, come over here and check this out! Haha, I can't believe it hasn't rubbed off yet!"
The high schooler turned, following the sound of his friend's voice to a small outcropping of rocks near the underground spring. Hikou was gesturing wildly at something on the wall, while Kouran knelt at his feet and touched a hand to the same thing he was pointing towards. Houjun jogged the few meters to his two friends, chuckling good-naturedly at their excitement. "Okay, okay, what is it that's got you so..."
He trailed off, eyes falling on a charcoal inscription scrawled on the wall of the cavern. It was poorly written in sloppy, fourth-grade handwriting, with the kanji signs tilting this way and that at almost unreadable angles. Nevertheless, as far as Houjun was concerned, it was the most beautiful artwork in the world.
"Paradaisu no Toride" it read crookedly at the top. "Founded by Ri Houjun - Yamazaki Hikou - Suzunami Kouran." Underneath their separately written names was a phrase they had created, probably based on something they had heard before, though none of them could truly remember where it originated. It was magnificently simple, and somehow perfect, just like their paradise. "Zutto - Toki no Hate Made."
"Always - 'Till the End of Time," Kouran said aloud. "I wonder, when we wrote that, if we meant this hideout, or our friendship?"
Houjun knelt next to his beloved, touching one finger to the kanji for "Zutto." A small smile crept its way onto his mouth. "Who knows? It was such a long time ago, we probably didn't even know what we were talking about. But I think it was probably a little bit of both."
"It went a lot deeper than that, though," Hikou remarked quietly. His two companions looked up, unused to his teasing tone sounding so serious. The young man leaned against the cavern wall, arms crossed thoughtfully over his chest as his eyes following the path of the nearby burbling stream. "It was more like a pledge, in a way. Always, we could come here when we needed safety. Always, we could go to each other when we needed safety. Always, we could find strength here - and in one another - to somehow make it through anything that got thrown our way. We always had that. 'Till the end of time..."
Houjun blinked in surprise, touched by Hikou's heartfelt words. No matter how long he knew his friend, he never failed to throw him for a loop. It was amazing, really, the way he could be this cunning jokester one minute, then so passionate and mature the next. But that was what made him such a likeable person, wasn't it?
And he was right, too, the young man thought to himself. No matter what had happened in their lives, they had always had one another. That's why he was so strong, why he had succeeded so well in school, and in life. Not because of his own strength, but because of the combined strength of himself and his companions. That was why he was suffering so much now. And that was why, he realized suddenly, he had to tell them everything.
Houjun closed his eyes, nodding to himself in understanding. He sat back on his heels, looking first at his beloved, then at his best friend. The young man took a breath, managing the flicker of a smile in their directions. "So, you want to hear about these headaches, do you?"
Hikou poked his head around the cavern opening, looking around the cave for something. After a moment, his adolescent face broke into a smile of relief. He turned, gesturing for his companion to hurry. "Found her! Hah, what'd I tell ya - I knew this is where she'd be!"
Houjun followed his friend into the Toride, glancing around until his eyes fell on the form of their third member, sitting near the underground stream. He frowned worriedly, padding across the ground in his slippered feet. "Kouran, what're you doing in here? Your parents have been looking for you for hours, and they're worried sick! We've been looking all over town for you - Hikou just now figured on checking in here."
"Good thing I did, too," the boy gloated, crossing the cavern a few steps behind Houjun. "Now, c'mon, what do you say we get outta here, huh? It's almost dinnertime, and-" he froze in mid-sentence, mouth dropping open in surprise as he came up to his female friend. The young girl had her head between her knees and was cryly freely, unable to cover her feelings in front of her friends.
Houjun put a hand on her shaking shoulder, trying to steady her with actions and words. "Oi, Kouran, what is it? What's wrong?"
"I'm not going back!" she sobbed, a note of defiance in her broken tones. "I won't go back, I refuse, and there's nothing you or Hikou or anyone else can say that'll change my mind! I won't marry him, I won't!"
Hikou blinked, unused to seeing his calm, quiet friend in such an emotional state. "Marry him?" he repeated in confusion. "Marry who, Kouran? What're you talking about?"
"Otoo-san... Otoo-san told me today..." she sniffled, lifting her head so she could meet her friends' worried eyes with her own tear-filled ones. "He said he was gonna make arrangements with the Katsuragi family - you know, with their oldest son, Yuzuriko, that whiny kid a couple years older than us? - for me and him to get married!"
"Married!" Houjun laughed at the idea, surprised by the jolt of pain that went through his heart at the thought. "Kouran, no way your dad would do something like that! You're barely thirteen - you've still got a couple of years before you're at marrying age."
She shook her head, wiping a hand across her eyes as she did. "That's true, but, Otoo-san said he wants to make the arrangements early, so everything will be taken care of... he says the Katsuragi family has always been really close to our family, and that he still owes them a favor from back when he was younger, so, so..."
She felt tears leak their way out of her eyes again, but had no way to stop them. "I told him I didn't want to, that I didn't love Yuzuriko, didn't even like him all that much, but he doesn't care what I want! Nobody does! I'm just a girl, after all, no one stops to think that I might have feelings, or dreams, or wants, or... it's not fair! I hate this!"
Hikou frowned, shifting nervously, unsure of what to say. "Kou-chan..."
"We care what you want," Houjun said suddenly, fire burning in his eyes. "You're right, Kouran, you shouldn't be forced to marry Yuzuriko-senpai! You should have the right to choose who you spend the rest of your life with, no matter who you are! Tell your father you refuse, tell him that no matter what he says or does you won't get married to that guy!"
"But what if he doesn't listen?" Hikou asked quietly, dark eyes turned inwards, as if he were thinking about something faraway. "Or worse: what if he does listen, and gets angry? What if he forces her... or, or beats her... or disowns her? Parents are like that - not yours, Houjun, but most of them are like that. It's about honor, and upholding the family name... or just being useless and 'in the way all the time.' Your feelings don't matter." He looked down, adding in a voice barely above a whisper: "Your pain doesn't matter."
Kouran looked from one friend to another, then clenched her fists and stood resolutely. "If he won't listen to me, then, then I'll run away! I'll run away as far as I can, all the way to the Imperial City, or maybe even to another country! As far as I have to go, until nobody will tell me what I can and can't do! Until I can just be who I wanna be..."
Houjun swung a friendly arm around his female companion's shoulder. "That could get kinda lonely, Kou-chan," he said, using her childhood nickname. He winked in Hikou's direction. "You might need a couple of fellow dilinquints to run away with you. You know, to keep you company, and protect you if you need it."
The girl blinked in surprise, whirling her head first to look at Houjun, then Hikou. "Y-you'd do that for me? You'd leave your family... and your friends... all for my sake?"
The dark-haired boy shrugged, unable to meet people's eyes when he was embarassed. "Well, sure we would, Kouran. We're best friends, ain't we?" He glanced up, smiling a little, almost hopefully. "Besides, I always kinda wanted to run off, anyway, so..."
"I hear the Imperial City's beautiful in the spring," Kouran exclaimed with a laugh, worry and tears vanishing as quickly as they had come. "And they say Hokkan gets snow! Real snow, not like the flurries we get around here. Oh, and it wouldn't be scary at all, if you were there with me...!"
Houjun chuckled, swinging his other arm around Hikou's shoulder and steering his two friend's to the door. He had been nearby when his father and spoken to Kouran's father, and already knew that Doctor Suzunami had called off the engagement immediately after his daughter's disappearance. His friends didn't necessarily have to know that, though. "We can make travel plans later, if we have to, but first, let's try talking to your father. Maybe he'll understand."
Kouran nodded, no longer afraid. With her two closest friends by her side, ready to stand with her through anything, how could she have anything to fear? "Right!"
"...And everybody... everybody, every last person in Kyokujitsu except for me is dead. My parents, my brother and sister... the two of you..." Houjun looked up, the fear of his visions clearly visible in his mahogany eyes. "There's so much pain. So much terrible sorrow and guilt, I can't stand it. I couldn't stand it if it happened, either, but that's exactly what I'm afraid of! I'm so scared that it'll all come true... that it'll all happen just like I saw it happening..."
His quiet voice trailed off, echoing about the cavern before vanishing completely. The Toride was dead silent for a long moment, Kouran and Hikou's faces carefully void of the emotions that raged in their hearts. The incidents of those few days, and that terrible night, still remained painfully vivid in their own minds. But to hear Houjun describe them from his standpoint, to have it told in the words of the friend whose whole world they had helped destroy...
Kouran looked away, hastily blinking back tears that had unexpectedly come to her eyes. She opened her mouth to apologize, to plead his forgiveness for her sins, to make him understand how deeply she still loved him, had always loved him, but at the last second she remembered herself, and what she was doing. No. This was not the time or the place for that. She could settle such issues after this charade was over, after they were in heaven together.
The young woman regained her self-control, and smiled assuredly in Houjun's direction. "It's all right," she told him. "You don't have to be afraid of something like that. It won't happen. It'll never happen."
"That's right," Hikou agreed immediately, knowing that if he didn't Kouran would have his head for it later. "Kouran and I... we'd never betray you, Houjun. You know that." He glanced over at his female friend and forced a smile. "Ch, I'm about as interested in Kouran as I am in my sister, and that's a promise." Which wasn't a lie, he reminded himself. The passion and jealousy of one day didn't count as true love, and before and after that afternoon he had thought of her like a sister.
Houjun had to accept that answer, because he couldn't bear to think of the alternative. "I know you're right. Deep down, I know you've got to be right. That's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell anybody about these; it's all so dramatic, so unbelievable, that even I have trouble believing it's happening!"
He lowered his tone again, afraid to voice his next thoughts but knowing he must. "Which brings me to my second reason for not telling you until now. I'm afraid, you know. I'm afraid that, if people knew the kind of stuff I was seeing, well... you can imagine. How the town would talk, how my parents would fuss and worry, how my siblings would think that their brother was going crazy, how the two of you might even desert me-"
"Never!" Kouran said, gentle voice unusually loud and fierce.
The young man jerked his head up, surprised at the fire that was burning in his beloved's eyes. "Kouran...?"
"We would never desert you, Houjun! Never, ever think that Hikou and I would do something so low!" she cried, clenching her fists in twin balls of determination. "I don't know what's going on with you, not really, but that doesn't make any difference to me! You're still Ri Houjun, still the boy I became friends with, still the man I fell in love with! These visions, or whatever they are... nothing will ever change that!"
Hikou clapped a friendly hand on the young man's shoulder. "We'll always be here for you. Even if your stupid headaches never stop, even if your visions get worse, Kouran and I will never leave your side. We're strongest when we're together, and just like you always used to help me stand when I was younger, now I'm gonna help you do the same thing. Kouran and I will take part of your pain and troubles, and shoulder them with you, until you can do it on your own again. That's what friends do, right? Zutto - toki no hate made. Remember, Hou-?" The young man jerked his hand away, surprised by the up-and-down movement of Houjun's back. His friend was crying. "Eh? Houjun? D-daijoubu ka?"
"I don't deserve this," he said quietly, smiling through his tears. "I don't deserve the two of you. No one deserves a gift like the two of you." He glanced up, wiping the tears of relief from his eyes. "Thank you. For everything. Thank you."
Houjun glanced up at the three tall boys blocking his way home. They were the three biggest kids in his class, and consequently the ones that enjoyed pushing others around. Inwardly, he groaned to himself - he was in no mood to deal with this trio of stupid bullies - but tried to put on a friendly face as he neared the small gang.
"Hello," he said pleasantly, forcing a smile. "Is there something you needed?" They just glared at him, one with a dangerous smirk on his face. Houjun decided to try a slightly different tactic. "Well, if you're not waiting for me, then would you mind letting me through? My house is just a little ways down this road, and I sort of need to get home."
"Why?" asked the leader, a burly fellow by the name of Gohei. "So you can get started on your precious homework?"
"Actually, yes," he agreed, jerking his head towards the bag on his back. "We got a lot in math today, so I figured I ought to get to work on it. You should probably get home, too, so you can..." he trailed off, taking a step back as Gohei's grin turned into a scowl. "Da..."
"I'm gettin' real sick of you and your little girlfriend always showin' everybody else up in class," he growled. He reached out a hand and shoved the boy's shoulder in a silent challenge. "You must think you're somethin' pretty special, doncha?"
He shrugged, determined not to let his fear show in his voice. Shinsei had once told him that that was what bullies liked best: knowing you were scared. "Not really. I just work hard. If you wanted some help, I'd be glad to give it to you."
Gohei shoved him again, smirking slightly. He had always held a special dislike for the popular Ri boy, and now that he was alone, without his posse of friends, he could finally take his building emotions out on his fellow student. "I'd never accept help from a little prick like you. Though, I wouldn't mind beatin' some-a those smarts outta your head."
Houjun was trembling slightly, but stood his ground. "I'm not going to fight you," he told him firmly. "There's no point to it."
"I think we'll decide what's got a point and what doesn't!" Gohei snarled, sending the smaller boy to the ground with a sharp uppercut. "I'm so damn tired of an arrogant little shit like you gettin' all the attention around here, like you're somethin' special. Just 'cause your dad's got that fancy job and you get a couple of good grades don't mean nothin'. Let's see what you're really made of, where it really counts, out here with fists."
Houjun dropped his bag of school supplies, wiping the blood from his lip and turning to face the bigger student. He clenched his fists at his sides, fighting off the urge to wipe Gohei's cocky smirk off his face. He had used his small weapons before - standing up for Hikou when someone made fun of his life of poverty, protecting Kouran from some of the school perverts - but he would not use them now. His father always said that violence was, at times, a necessary evil, but only at times. Dirtying them on a poor street punk who probably deserved pity over hate was not a good enough reason. There was only shame, for both of them, in a battle like this.
"I'm not going to fight you," he said again, wondering why the trio had stopped advancing. "There's no reason to fight about something like this. I refuse."
"Oh? Well, then, d'you mind if I do?"
Houjun jerked around at the familiar voice, surprised to find his best friend standing protectively over him. "Hikou!?"
A girl rushed to his side, touching his already swelling face worriedly. "Houjun, are you all right? You're not hurt too badly, are you?"
His eyes widened further. It was just one surprise after another. "Kouran!?"
Hikou turned to the trio, grinning almost hungrily. "Three against one, huh? Hm, against Houjun, that hardly seems fair." He paused thoughtfully, then crouched in a fighting stance and smiled again. "Come to think of it, against me, that hardly seems fair."
There was only one person in school that Gohei feared. That one person was standing in front of him. The boy turned to run, but before he could take off Hikou was on him and his friends like a beast from hell, delivering his judgment in a series of quick punches and equally quick commentary.
"Y'know, you're a lot stupider than even I thought you were," he remarked as he knocked Gohei to the ground, knocking a few of his teeth out in the process. "First off, if you had any sense you'd know that picking on Houjun is like asking me to kick your ass. Secondly, don't you think jealousy is a really stupid reason to fight? Now see, I'm fighting 'cause you were harassing my best friend, which is a perfectly good reason to kick the crap out of somebody-"
Hikou ducked a half-hearted blow thrown by one of Gohei's friends, sending back his own punch without skipping a beat, "And third and finally, here's a thought: instead of picking on one of the smartest kids in your class, ever thought of getting help from him? Ever thought of getting know him? He's a pretty nice guy, you know, even if he is kinda shrimpy."
Houjun rolled his working eye, allowing Kouran to fuss about his blackened eye and swollen lip. "I guess that was supposed to be a compliment." He glanced over at his female friend, one eyebrow raised quizzically. "How'd you know this was happening, anyway? Lucky timing?"
"Hardly," she assured him, dabbing at his bloody lip with the hem of her dress. "Hikou heard a rumor that Gohei and his group were going to try something like this, and we came as fast as we could. You're just lucky we showed up when we did - those three against anybody but Hikou is a punishment waiting to happen. Speaking of Hikou..."
The pair turned their eyes back to the fight, which had essentially ended. Their young friend stood over the trembling Gohei-tachi, nothing but disgust in his eyes. "You know, Gohei-kun, you and me really aren't all that different. We're poor as dirt, our parents are dead, and I wouldn't be surprised if your father beat the shit out of you when you were little, too."
The dark-haired boy's eyes narrowed. "But there is one thing that separates us. You know what that is? No? Well, that's all right, I'll tell ya. You're what people expect from our station in life, and I'm not. I had the choice between bein' like you and your pals, or makin' somethin' of myself. I chose number two." He glanced over his shoulder at Houjun and Kouran, smiling slightly. "And I've got a couple of first-class people to thank for that."
Once more, his merciless eyes fell on the other boys. "Lucky for you, I don't like to beat people as bad as you do - if I did, you wouldn't be able to walk, isn't that right? So I'm gonna give you a chance to get out of here. If you still wanna fight me, or Houjun or Kouran, then be my guest." His friendly smile turned into one of grim determination. "But this time, I won't hold back."
Gohei and his gang were up from the ground and gone before Houjun had a chance to blink.
Hikou turned back to his companions, stretching amiably. "Ah, haven't had a good fight like that in a while. It's always nice to use the ol' hands for something other than writing out english notes." He frowned in Houjun's direction, walking over to take a seat next to his companions. He put a hand to his friend's eye, whistling in appreciation. "That's gonna be a beauty in the morning. You're all right though, aren't you?"
The other boy smiled, reopening the cut on his lip with the action and not caring. "I'm fine, now that you two are here."
Kouran returned the smile, once more wiping away the blood with her dress. "Well, it isn't like you haven't done the same thing for us, you know." She winked. "We'll always be here for you, just like you're always here for us. That's what friends are, deshou?"
Hikou nodded in agreement. The street was silent for a moment, until the dark-haired boy broke it with a cackle of laughter. "Oi, minna, I just had a thought! Tomorrow in school, when Gohei-tachi and Houjun come in all bloodied and bruised, people are gonna wonder what happened, right?" He snickered again at his secret joke, fighting back the chuckles in order to tell his companions. "So, so, how about we tell everyone - haha - that Houjun single-handedly took the three of 'em out!"
Kouran covered her mouth to stifle her giggles, then gave up and laughed freely. "Poor Gohei, he'll never be taken seriously again, not after people think he got wiped out by - ohoho - our little Houjun!"
Their third companion scowled fiercely. "Hey, now, you two! It isn't that unbelievable!" He paused, trying his hardest to remain serious, but finally broke into laughter as well. "Ahahahaha! The looks on everyone's faces would be priceless! Houjun the Horrible, that's what they'll call me! Oh, it's just too perfect!"
Houjun touched the outer wall of the cavern, saying a silent thank you to the home of his childhood. He and his companions had spent a wonderful day within it's walls, talking about days gone by and days still to come, but now he knew he had to say farewell. The paradise had performed its beautiful job once again, as Houjun's worries had been eased and his bonds of friendship further strengthened. "Arigatou, Paradaisu," he whispered quietly.
Kouran put a hand against his shoulder, giving it a light, comforting squeeze. "It really is like an enchanted fortress, isn't it? No matter what our problems were... no matter what sort of chaos went on in our lives... we could find sanctuary here, couldn't we? For at least a few hours, it was like the whole world would vanish, like the only people who existed were the three of us." She sighed. "But I guess everyone has to face the full impact of reality eventually. Maybe that's why we stopped coming here, after we turned fourteen."
Houjun nodded, smiling a little. "Funny, isn't it? We thought we had outgrown paradise. But, when you think about it, maybe paradise outgrew us. Maybe we just got too old, learned too much, to be able to live in that carefree way anymore."
"Still," Hikou said quietly, almost reverantly, "still, I don't think... I don't think paradise is something that you lose. Maybe it just takes on a different form as you get older, know what I mean? Whether it's in a person, or a career, or a place, whatever it is you love above all else... everyone's got something like that, somewhere." The man turned his head a little, grinning sheepishly at his companions. "You two... you two are my paradise."
Kouran's eyes widened in surprise. Houjun smiled and nodded in agreement. He patted the moss-covered stone again, smiling somewhat wistfully. "I don't think I'll ever come back here," he remarked, "even if I need another break from reality. I've found something better than a hidden cavern to ease my worries." The young man did not need to explain what that was - his companions knew well enough. It was the same way they felt.
Hikou jerked a shoulder towards the village, which was only a few minutes' walk away. "Let's head home, you two. It's getting late, and I'm starved."
Houjun walked silently between his companions, glancing at first one and then the other. He nodded his head, knowing what he had to do. The young man had found more than just peace of mind during his stay in the cavern: he had also reached a decision about what he was going to do about his headaches. Kouran and Hikou had told him that they would never leave him, that they were happy to help him shoulder any pain he might have. He had been touched by their offer, but also knew that he couldn't possibly put that kind of a burden on them. He loved them too much. He would do anything to keep away the pain that he had seen in their eyes - if only for a split second - after he had told them about the visions.
He couldn't run away anymore, he knew that for certain. Tenshuru had said, "The longer you run from things, the bigger they become," but he hadn't completely understood her words until now. Ignoring his problems, pretending that they would disappear if he acted like they didn't exist... that was only making things worse. The visions were only going to get more violent, the headaches more painful, the nightmares more frequent. His family and friends would only fear for him more, and his waning health would only drop further.
There was just one other thing he could possibly do, and it was the one thing he was most afraid of doing. He had to face his alien memories head on, without shying away from the terrible details. He had to find out what had actually happened, that night of the flood, had to find out why he felt responsible for everybody's deaths. He had to know what he had done that day, so that he could prevent it from happening - once, or ever again.
Houjun took a breath, glancing at his companions and drawing strength from their laughter and smiles. He would need that remembered strength on the day he faced his inner demons, on the day he finally learned the truth behind his pain and sorrow. He would need his friends more than ever on that day, but hopefully, after it was over, he would be able to bear his troubles alone again, and give his own strength to those who did the same for him.
He hoped he would not have to wait long for that day to come.
*****
Hao, minna-san!
Well, better late than never, right? If you consider schoolwork a good excuse for a one-week late chapter, then maybe you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. If you don't consider it a good excuse, then I was off in the" real world" trying to save Zion from the robots. Or, I had to take a quick trip to Mordor to throw a nasty piece of jewelry into a mountain. Or I was too busy hiding in a burned-down building searching for secrets about the VFD. Or...
Random Chapter Comments: Why yes, as a matter of fact this is the "friendship" chapter! How ever did you guess? I promise that this is the very last CDC for this Movement, and we'll soon get back to the plotline... as well as the climax of the First Movement (should you fear? Oh, yes you should). On a slightly unrelated note, if by the end of this chapter you didn't completely adore Hikou, I'm quitting my job as a writer. To be honest, I never liked him all that much, but then I started writing for him and, well... I just fell in love. *Grin* And speaking of falling in love, I've noticed a lot of people have fallen for the kawaii li'l Genji-kun. That makes Dee happy: one of her few originals who isn't a villain is liked! Yay! *Squeezes Genji 'till he squeaks*
Answering Reviews Let's begin by welcoming our latest reviewers, Opaaru Tsuki-san and Werevamp-san! I hope you both enjoy your stay in the wacky world of "RFS," and if there's anything I can do to make you more comfortable, just hit the button located in the far left-hand corner (that's the review button) of your computer screen. Thank you.
--To Fire Pendant-san, on "CDC"s A CDC is the name I give to chapters that have no direct plotline purposes, but are essential for the reader to understand what really "makes the characters tick." They also help to make a reader give a rip about whether the hero/ine lives or dies. It stands for "Character Development Chapter."
--To Space Cat-san, on falling for gay guys Oh, wow, so it isn't just me, then? *Nervous giggle* Yeah, I've said that before, too. Hey, it's not our fault that the only perfect guys are homosexuals, married, or live in the magical animé world. *Huggles various bishies* Well, we can always dream...
--To Opaaru Tsuki-san, on a lot of stuff First off, I promise that I will, someday, get back to reading your fanfic. I really did like what I read and wanted to read more - honestly! *Ah-hem* About Kouran: don't hate the playa, sweetie, hate the game. *Thoughtful pause* I'm not sure how that works in this situation... it just seemed appropriate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Kouran is a victim too, she's being manipulated by the Weaver and - er-hem - Angel, so try to at least pretend to show some sympathy. *Sweatdrop* Oh, and as far as Nakago carrying Soi goes... my answer: he's a sick, kinky bastard. Hehe, do you really need more than that?
--To Wingstar-san On a totally random note, Roku-senpai is my hero too. So remember all your readers, if you think this is a good story, then you haven't read Roku! Be sure to mosy on over to "roku kyu" and check out all her great FY Fanfics. I recommend "White Stones in the Moonlight" and its trio of spin-off/prequel/sequels. Tell her The Dee sent ya!
Question of the Week Speaking of the question of the week, I was shocked by how many people tried answering my last one. *Laughs* I never thought I'd actually get solutions to these useless things... Anyway, the question!
What exactly is Chichiri's mask made out of? In the TV show, it folds and flops and seems to be cloth; but in Eikou Den, it shatters like glass or ceramic! So what is it?
Verse Preview? The shiznit hits the fizan. Need I say more?
Probably a Little Too Chatty Today,
Dee ~_^