Disclaimer:I do not own Bleach

I open my eyes and try to get used to the darkness in the room. Those jerks drugged me; I hope I'm not too late. I see my cellphone next to me; I grab it and see the time. Its 11:59pm 14th Feb, after few seconds the time changes as well as the date. I'm out of time, suddenly a tear rolls down my cheek I guess I lost my chance with her and now she's married to Kaien. Why did it have to be so complicated? She loved me and I loved her so what went wrong? Why did she leave me?

It all started ten years ago. A new girl joined our class she was a little too short for her age but she had beautiful eyes. She sat next to me and used to stare at me most of the time, maybe because of my weird haircolour. She didn't make any friends and during lunch break she used to hang out with a highschooler named Kaien who was 15-16 then. After a few months she became a part of our group consisting of Renji, Uryu, Chad, Toshiro, Momo, Inoue and Tatsuki even Kaien and his friend Rangiku joined our group during lunch. However Rukia kept her distance from me I thought she was afraid of me.

When we started highschool Kaien had already graduated and went to Tokyo. Then one day Rukia confessed to me and being the jerk I was I thought she was kidding and then next thing I knew I was rolling on the floor laughing. Rukia turned and left with tears in her eyes, that's when I knew she was serious. After the guys got the word of it they beat me to pulp (God! They were overprotective of her). Next day Rukia was acting normal. It was evident from her red puffy eyes that she cried a lot atleast it was good that she was talking to me. After that day I couldn't keep my eyes off of her and I knew that I was falling for her hard or maybe I already did.

It was Valentine's Day and Rukia had chocolates for everyone except me; I was disappointed to say the least. I knew she also had three boxes of handmade chocolates, two of those were for her brother and Kaien but who was going to receive the third box? God I was jealous! I went to her house to ask about it. Before I knew what was happening I was kissing her and she wasn't protesting. Her acceptance and my jealousy drove me off the edge and I decided to make her mine.

She then handed me the third box of chocolates I was floating on the clouds at the same time I was feeling pretty stupid for getting so worked-up over a box of chocolates. Next day however I couldn't gather the courage to talk to her. I was embarrassed everytime I looked at her which gave the guys including Keigo and Mizuiro a reason to tease me calling Rukia my girlfriend. I felt the need to discuss it with Rukia so I went to her room through the window but instead of talking things out I gave-in to my teenage harmones again and ended up having sex for the second time with her.

I don't know what happened to me after that day but I couldn't keep my hands off her and this continued for years until she suddenly left me without saying anything. When I tried contacting her, she ignored me. I work for the Kuchikis and I heard my colleagues talking about some big wedding of the boss. Then it hit me like a brick in the head that they were talking about Rukia and I knew something was very- very wrong. I knew for fact that Rukia loved me so what happened that made her leave me? And for the second time that day it hit me hard again that everytime Rukia said she loved me, I never said it back…

Why wouldn't she leave me? I'm a jerk, even though I had someone as great as Rukia with me I chased around random girls just for the fun of it. But whatever I did I never cheated on Rukia, I danced and drank with girls but I never had anything physical with them because I knew Rukia was the only one for me. At the end I always returned to her. I knew the fact that my fear of commitment was going to be my downfall.

I had the impression that 'girlfriend' was not the word to describe Rukia, she was more than that. She is my soul, the very basis of my existence. Now that she is gone I feel as if my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I went to meet Rukia a day before her wedding. It wasn't that easy to get to her amidst all that security that was bestowed on her by her brother. Before I could reach her, my so-called friends dragged me out of there for a talk. Those guys certainly have the nerves to drug me and knock me out cold. I can't blame them, after what I've done to Rukia I deserved it.

I don't deserve to be loved by someone like Rukia. All this time I was hurting her but she didn't say a word, she didn't even push me away, she accepted me with all my flaws and weaknesses. What did she get in return? A guy who flirts with other women in front of her. Rukia did the right thing by leaving me, she deserves better and I know that Kaien will be able to make her happy. Always be happy, Rukia.

Should I continue?

Thxxx wickedsistah1024for the review!