Verse Four: Yuzurenai Negai
--Unyielding Wish--
"One day, a selfish voice
Humming a song will reach you.
And in that very moment
This world is going to change."
--Tokuyama Hidenori; "For Real"--
"All right, just hold still for a moment… longer…" Hikaru bit her lip, focusing her magic on stopping the blood flow from Ken's wrist while Shuu tied a thick bandage around the stump. The younger Asatenshi sister gave the cloth a final tug, then pulled her blood-stained hands away from the injury. Hikaru relaxed visibly, flashing Ken a tiny smile. "All finished," she assured him. "Thank you for staying so still. You were very brave."
The new Reikaku member forced a weak smile, collapsing onto the pallet beneath him. "I suppose I never really needed that hand, anyway. Arigatou, Hikaru-san."
Shuu scowled at her sister as she followed her to the next bandit, though this one's injuries were far lighter. She lugged a load of bandages in her arms while her sister carried a variety of salves. "Hey, how 'bout I handle the magic this time and you do the grunt work? I'm covered in blood and I'm sick of always getting the dirty jobs."
"Oh, Nee-san, I'm in no better condition," Hikaru reminded her severely, gesturing to her bloodied sleeves and dress. "My healing magic is stronger than yours, you know that. And besides, we hardly have time for arguing - we're the only people in this stronghold with knowledge of medicines, besides perhaps Genji-kun, but he isn't here so we…" she trailed off, biting her lip and frowning. "Speaking of Genji-kun, where in heaven's name is he? Tadaji said he went back to wait for Koji-san, but I can't imagine it would have taken this long-"
"Hi-ka-ru-saaaaaaaaaan!"
The two sisters glanced at one another, then towards the entrance of the makeshift infirmary just in time to see Genji barge through the doors. He stopped in the doorway, breathing heavily as he fought to retain his hold on the bandit that was practically slung over his shoulder. The wounded man, an arrow lodged in his side, seemed conscious, but just barely; he glanced up a little, his half-closed hazel eyes peeking through a mop of messy dark hair.
Hikaru gasped as she realized the identity of Genji's companion. "Oh, dear mother! Koji-san!" the young woman sprang into action, dropping the salves from her arms and rushing to help Genji with the older bandit. She grabbed his other arm somewhat forcefully, looping it over her shoulder. Koji tried to push her away, saying something about helping the other bandits first, but Hikaru ignored his weak protests and led the pair of men towards a spare pallet. Careful not to jerk him around too much lest she aggravate his injury even more, the Asatenshi woman set him down.
Once settled, the young woman took in his injury, biting her lip at the depth the arrow had traveled. She set her hands against the wound, ignoring the blood that stained them, and closed her eyes. After a moment she looked up again, still frowning but looking hopeful. "It didn't hit anything vital," she said aloud, more to herself than to Genji. "If we get the arrow out quick, and stop the bleeding just as fast, then we might—"
Koji grabbed Hikaru's arm, cutting her off in mid-sentence. The Asatenshi sister met his tired eyes, surprised at the fire that still burned in them. He struggled with his words for a minute, torn between the mind-consuming pain and the thousands of thoughts spinning through his head. "Hikaru-san… Ken-kun, the others… did they…?"
She smiled gently, understanding his question. "Yes, Koji-san, they all returned safely."
"And Genrou…?"
"Not back yet," she replied, eyes flashing worry for a moment. She regained her composure quickly, noticing that Koji looked like he might try to stand. "But I'm sure they're fine. Tasuki will look after everyone just as you looked out for your group. What's important right now is that we help you, so please relax and let Shuu-chan and I take care of everything."
The Reikaku bandit seemed to accept this answer; whatever strength he'd had left deserted him, and he slumped into Genji's arms. The youth looked up, face etched with fear, as he tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. "Hikaru-san, he's really going to be okay, right?"
"Yes, so long as we… Shuu-chan!" the older sister whirled, barking out the sudden command to her younger sibling. "Come here, quick! This job is going to take the both of us."
Shuu, who hadn't moved since Koji's arrival, turned slowly, blinking at her sister as if in a daze. Her eyes traveled slowly from Hikaru, then to Genji, and finally to the injured Reikaku co-leader. At the sight of the older bandit, something curiously alien appeared in the young woman's eyes, an emotion that Genji couldn't read and Koji, if he'd been able to see it, would have been amazed at; it almost looked like concern. Concern for what, it was impossible to tell, but there was most definitely a flicker of fear and worry in her harsh emerald eyes.
"Shuu-chan," Hikaru said again, softer this time, and with a hidden meaning behind her words. "Please. For whatever reasons, this is one thing we both want to save."
That did the trick. Shuu closed her eyes and shook her head hard; when she looked back up again, her usual sharp look was back in place. "Okay," she said with a forced amount of strength, as if trying to prove that her previous moment of weakness had been an accident. "What do you need me to do?"
"We have to get the arrow out," the older woman explained quickly, "but we have to make sure not to kill him in the process. I'm going to try and work my magic around the weapon, and into the wound, as sort of a barrier; see if I can't protect him from further blood loss and any organ damage. As soon as the arrow's out, I should be able to patch the injury up before my magic wears off, if I work quickly." She paused, glancing upwards with a sort of desperate pleading in her orbs. "I need you to pull the arrow out, and I need it to be done fast and smooth. If it jerks around even slightly, we'll lose him. It has to be pulled straight out, do you understand, Shuu-chan?"
"I'm not a novice, you know," the younger sister snapped. But her toughness was forced, and her underlying urgency was apparent. "I know damn well what I'm doing, so shut up and let's get it done."
"Hikaru-san…"
That was Genji, unable but anxious to help. The Asatenshi sister flashed him the tiniest of smiles, nodding towards his current job of holding Koji upright. "Just keep that up, Genji-kun. He's going to need someone to hold him steady."
Shuu shoved a wad of cloth in the youth's direction. "Here. Stuff this in his mouth. I don't want him biting off his tongue in the process." She looked down at the half-conscious co-leader, an almost-grin on her face. "Not that I wouldn't enjoy him as an eternal mute, of course."
Her gaze turned back to her sister, who began pouring a good flow of emerald magic into the bandit's wound. Koji relaxed visibly, his face regaining some of his color, no doubt due to the sister's touch and the cooling effect of her powers. Shuu frowned, knowing the co-leader's peace would be short-lived; and how fitting, that she would be the one to break the tranquility. "All ready, Nee-san?"
Hikaru nodded, cupping her hands on either side of the wound. "Ganbare yo Go for it, Shuu-chan." The Asatenshi sister braced herself, looking down at Koji's pale face and frowning sympathetically. "I'm sorry," she warned, "but this is going to hurt."
"That's an understatement," Shuu growled, and with a swift wrench jerked the arrow from the bandit's side.
Koji let out a muffled grunt of pain, but otherwise made no movement. Genji fussed at the older man's side, doing his best to keep him comfortable while the sisters continued their tasks. Shuu set to work removing the bandit's ripped and bloodied shirt from his body while Hikaru busily dressed the wound. The two sisters worked silently, neither needing words to understand what was needed; they knew how to save a person from death, just as well as they knew how to condemn one to the same fate.
"Finished," Hikaru stated, at the same time Shuu declared: "Done!"
Genji let out a sigh of relief, setting Koji gently down on the pallet. The older bandit immediately collapsed into a troubled sleep, breathing heavily but already regaining some of his color. The youth glanced up, fear still evident in his eyes. "He's going to be okay? He, he's really going to be all right?"
"All right?" Hikaru met her sister's eyes, and for a brief instant there was a flash of understanding and camaraderie that passed between the two young women. The elder Asatenshi nodded, her tone sounding neither grateful nor remorseful. "Yes, Genji-kun. I can't be certain just yet, but I believe he'll survive."
Shuu said nothing; she only stared hard into her sister's emerald eyes, as if trying to find the answer to an impossible question buried somewhere within the orbs. After a long moment, Hikaru stood to attend to some other patients, and Shuu looked away, back to the injured co-leader. "Baka," she grumbled once her sister had left. "How'd it happen, anyway? He try to pull some daring rescue so he could get ego points?"
Genji blinked. "Huh? I don't understand."
"What'd the moron do to get himself hurt so successfully?"
"Oh," Genji's face took on a sort of glow, like a young lover speaking fondly of his sweetheart. "We ran into an ambush, as I'm sure you knew, and Koji-sama, Koji-sama wanted to make sure everyone got out safely, so he was trying to stay out front… but he saw me, and I was fighting off three big guys all at once, and I didn't see this man behind me, but Koji-sama did, and he… and Koji-sama, he, he knocked me out of the way, to… to save me, he was so brave, and then-"
"Okay, okay," Shuu interrupted, the disgust in her voice growing even more obvious. "I get the idea, lover-boy. Why don't you go help my sister with some of her little medicines? I'm sick of bandaging up all these whining bandits."
The youth looked from the Asatenshi woman to Koji, his lower lip quivering. "But, but Koji-sama, he's… and I should… and what if he…"
"Oh, for gods' sake, I'll keep an eye on the stupid bastard for you if it'll make you feel better!" Shuu snapped. Still seeing the hesitant look on his face, the young woman sighed. "Look, I'll call you right over if he looks like he's gonna croak, but I can tell you right now he'll be fine. Everyone knows it's damn near impossible to kill an idiot."
Genji frowned at this remark, but decided not to argue. Besides, he preferred Hikaru's company to Shuu's any day of the week. He stood and hurried off after the older Asatenshi sister, sparing a few backwards glances at his mentor and friend. Shuu rolled her eyes at his behavior, thoroughly sick of all the fuzzy romance floating around the stronghold these days.
"I should have let you die, you know," she grumbled at the unconscious co-leader. "She knew it, too. It was the one thing we agreed on, and for the same reasons. However," she added quietly to herself, "neither of us could. For whatever purpose..." She trailed off, her lips hovering somewhere between a grim frown and a wry smile. "Well, I guess it wouldn't have been nearly as interesting that way, now would it?"
---
Less than an hour later another group of bandits stomped into the stronghold, though this gang looked much more pleased than Koji's bedraggled squad. Tasuki led the way, his arms placed confidently behind his head as he loudly congratulated his team on their success. "Ha, you'd-a thought they'd put up a bigger fight, wouldn't'cha? Ah, but they were evenly matched with us, an' I always knew those Akutsuki bastards were cowards at heart - couldn't face us in a fair fight, no way, no how."
"Odd that they didn't have a larger group guardin' their stronghold," Ryo, the somber new bandit, mentioned thoughtfully. "We prob'ly could've marched right in an' taken over."
"Yeah, I'd-a loved t'do that," Tasuki agreed somewhat wistfully. "But we said we'd come back, an' I wouldn't want Koji t'miss out on th' fun-a whippin' those jerks…" the Reikaku leader trailed off, noticing the stillness of the stronghold's main room. "Hey, where is everybody?" he asked aloud, with more curiosity than concern.
"Still scoutin'?" Soshu suggested with a shrug.
"No, they had a shorter route. They shoulda been back by now…" At that moment Hikaru came hustling into the main room, a look of worry on her face. "Hikaru," he called, waving her over, "where is everybody? And what's-" Tasuki stopped, noticing the patches of blood that spotted the Asatenshi woman's sleeves and skirt. He felt fear rise in his chest, and fought to keep the tremor out of his voice. "What happened?"
Hikaru looked up to answer his question, but the action seemed to deplete her reserves of strength; the sister swayed on her feet, reaching out for a nearby table for support. Tasuki caught her gently by the arm, helping the weakened sister steady herself as she quietly explained. "The other group ran into some trouble. An ambush, of some sort. I don't know the details - Genji-kun can tell you more about it."
"How are they?" Tasuki asked, forcing down his fear. He had to look strong in front of the others. If nothing else, they had to feel his courage, even if it was a charade. "Is everyone - are they-?"
"Yuki-san was killed in the battle," Hikaru answered evenly. "Seki-san, Akito-san, Fumitsu-san, and Tetsuo-san sustained minor injuries. Junpei-san was hit by a few arrows and lost a lot of blood, but he'll survive. Ken-san unfortunately lost his left hand, nothing life threatening, and he's handling it well. Tadaji-san, Ieyasu-san, and Genji-kun are all unhurt." The sister opened her mouth to say something else, but then stopped and turned her eyes to the ground.
Tasuki's own eyes widened as he realized the one name she had failed to mention. "And Koji?!" he demanded. The sister said nothing, and the bandit gripped her arm harder. "Hikaru, what about Koji?"
"Koji-san… took an arrow in his side," she finally answered, voice barely audible. "I don't think he even noticed it, in the heat of the battle, but Genji-kun did and made sure he got out of there." She looked up, but there was no joy in her eyes. "They arrived safely. And Shuu-san and I were able to get the arrow out with little trouble. Demo But…"
"Demo?"
"But that was nearly an hour ago. He hasn't stirred at all, not since he arrived. I think he might be feverish, and I worry…"
The Asatenshi sister trailed off, but there was no need for her to finish her sentence. Tasuki released his hold on the young woman and stormed across the stronghold, making a beeline for the makeshift infirmary. The bandit burst through the door, causing half the patients to jump in alarm, then give startled cries of pain. He hardly noticed them, or the young Asatenshi sister and bandit hovering near Koji's bed; Tasuki's eyes were fixed on only one person in the room, and it was the one person who hadn't reacted to his entrance.
Tasuki knelt down beside Koji's pallet, practically knocking Shuu out of the way in his haste. His eyes roved over his companion quickly, instantly noting the paleness of his skin, the beads of sweat that traced his forehead, and the way his eyes and hands twitched unintentionally, flinching against the pain.
"Koji," he murmured, fighting to find his breath. Fighting to keep from panicking. Fighting, hoping, praying, not knowing what to do, not knowing how to handle this, how to deal with this, with what had happened, with the possibility of what might happen.
No. Not that. Couldn't think about that. Not about the mights and the maybes. Not now. Not ever. Especially not now, not when Koji was… when Koji was…
Koji was all he had left. Koji was the only one, the only one who hadn't - and he, he had let him go off on his own, had let them be separated, knowing they needed each other to survive; he had taken that risk for the sake of his own pride! How could he have possibly been so stupid?!
All traces of Tasuki's previous composure were gone. His courage had disappeared. His pride had disappeared. Even his concern about the stronghold vanished in that instant. To hell with courage. To hell with pride. And to hell with the stronghold. None of that mattered, not if Koji was gone, not if the last person left to look out for him, to keep him safe, to keep him from failing, from failing like he always did when it was just him, when there was no one there to help… if that person died, then there was nothing.
If Koji died, then there was nothing.
Koji could not die.
Koji could not die!
"Koji, c'mon, you gotta wake up'r somethin'," Tasuki practically ordered. "You can't… I mean, you ain't…" he gripped the bandit's shoulders, shaking him a little without even realizing he was doing it. "Say somethin', okay? T'let me know yer all right, that you ain't gonna…" he barked out a small, panicked laugh that nearly broke into a sob. "Ya don't even gotta move much, just say somethin'."
One of the co-leader's eyelids twitched, just slightly. His lips moved, forming an inaudible word. "What?" Tasuki asked, voice a frightened whisper. "I, I can't hear ya…" Again, Koji's lips moved, ever so slightly. Tasuki leaned in closer, wondering for a fleeting, terrifying moment if this would be the last time his friend would ever speak to him. "Once more… c'mon, once more… what is it?"
"I been askin'," Koji grumbled again, this time quite clearly, "fer some sake. 'Cause there ain't any reason fer me t'talk if I gotta do it while I'm in this much pain." He opened one eye, a tiny smile flickering across his face. "I do got a freakin' hole in my side, y'know."
"Koji-sama!" Genji cried, practically collapsing to the ground in relief. "You're all right, te kanjii!"
"'Course I'm all right. You didn't think I'd let those Akutsuki bastards kill me like that, did'ja?" Koji hoisted himself into a sitting position, wincing visibly but never once losing his grin. "Nah, that ain't the death fer me. It ain't nearly dramatic enough. If I'm gonna go, it's gotta be a lot fancier'n that. Flames, armies, demons, damsels in distress: the stuff legends're made out of. Ain't that right, Gen-"
Koji never finished his sentence, for at that moment Tasuki enveloped him in a tight embrace. The Reikaku leader gripped him fiercely, not saying anything for several seconds, only holding his friend as if he had to convince himself that Koji was real. The co-leader winced at the tight hold, which only aggravated his injury, but was too shocked to protest. "Ge… Genrou…?"
"You idiot…" he hissed. "You damned fool." He pulled back, still clenching his companion's shoulders. "All ya had t'say was 'I'm all right, Genrou,' instead-a pullin' that whole death routine! An' dammit all, don't joke about how yer gonna die! Not when it nearly happened - not when you almost - an' all 'cause I, and I didn't…" Tasuki knew he wasn't making any sense, but he didn't care. Just like everything else, that didn't matter right now. "I thought - son of a bitch, Koji, this time, this time I really thought it was gonna happen, that I was really gonna lose ya, that you were gonna leave me, an' it was gonna be just like the other times, just like all those other times…"
The co-leader's eyes softened visibly. "Shit, Genrou, I'm sorry," he apologized, and meant it. "I didn't know ya was… but, look, ya don't gotta worry about me. I ain't gonna leave ya, not without a harder fight'n that."
Tasuki shook his head, managing a weak smile. "Yeah, I know. It was jus', fer a moment there…"
Someone in the room whimpered, bringing both bandits sharply back to reality. They glanced up, realizing that everyone in the infirmary - which was about half the stronghold by now - was watching them, and more than a few were shooting them curious glances. Genji, looking quite moved by the incident, had been the one to draw them out of their private universe with his small noise of emotion.
Almost simultaneously, Koji and Tasuki jerked away from one another, coughing nervously and puffing out their chests. Tasuki slapped Koji on the back as hard as he could without injuring him, while at the same time attempting to keep at least three feet in between them.
"So, uh, once ya start feelin' better," Tasuki began loudly, forcing a large grin on his face. "Maybe I'll take ya down t'the city an' we can get good 'n' drunk!"
"Yeah," Koji agreed, just as loudly and with just as big of a smile. "An' once we're totally smashed, we can go, uh, screw some whores!"
"An' pick some fights an' kick some ass!"
"Hell yeah!"
They continued to chuckle nervously until the rest of the occupants in the room, sweatdrops present, shook their heads and went back to their previous tasks. Tasuki sighed with relief once the attention had been turned away from he and his friend, but decided that a three-foot distance was still necessary. He clapped Koji lightly on the shoulder, standing as he did. "Listen, all gooey talk aside, I'm glad yer all right. Get some rest, okay? I'm gonna go check on th' others."
"Yeah, I was plannin' on it." Koji winced as he settled back on his pallet, but was determined not to let on how much the wound in his side pained him. He didn't want Tasuki and the others to worry any more. "I still want that bottle-a sake, though," he grumbled as his bandit friend departed.
Hikaru, who had followed Tasuki into the makeshift infirmary, chuckled at Koji's final comment. "I think I can manage that."
The older Asatenshi woman turned to fetch the desired drink, but the co-leader's voice stopped her. "Oi, Hikaru-san. About earlier, when you 'n' Shuu-san… when ya saved my life?" Koji fought down both a blush and a goofy grin, feeling extremely ridiculous. After a moment's struggle, he managed to put on a small, more appropriate smile. "Well, I wanted t'say thanks. Thanks fer everythin' you've done fer all of us, really. So, jus' thanks a lot."
Hikaru looked modestly down at her feet. "No need to thank me, Koji-san. This is just my way of repaying everyone for their kindness towards my sister and me." She turned again to go, but stopped as she reached the door. She looked back for a moment, a tiny smile on her attractive features. "But I am very glad you are safe, Koji-san."
Now Koji did let the goofy smile appear, but thankfully the Asatenshi sister had already left the room.
---
"Koji-sama, do you need something to drink?"
"I'm okay, Genji-kun."
"How about something else to eat?"
"Nah, this is plenty fer me, Genji-kun."
"Some blankets? Some medicine? Some company? A massage?"
"Thanks, but - now, why th' hell would I want a massage?"
"It just seemed like a good thing to ask, te kanjii!"
The Reikaku co-leader sighed at his younger friend. While he appreciated Genji's concern, the youth's eagerness to help was starting to wear on his nerves. It didn't help that his injury was aggravating him a lot more than he'd ever let on, which only made his patience thinner. Koji decided that now would definitely be a good time to be alone - or, at the very least, away from Genji. "Listen, Genji-kun, thanks fer lookin' out fer me 'n' all, but you ain't eaten dinner yet. Why don't'cha join th' others at th' table an' relax, all right? It's been a really rough day fer all of us."
The younger bandit's lower lip quivered a little. He cupped his hands under his chin, watching Koji with big, purple eyes. "You're… you're sure you'll be okay, all the way over here by yourself, Koji-sama?"
Koji sweatdropped. Many of the injured bandits had been moved into the main room for dinner, so they could be near their companions. Although Hikaru had insisted that Koji stay in the infirmary, the older bandit had been persistent and eventually gotten his way. The dining tables were only halfway across the room, now. "Yeah, I think I can manage," he replied dryly.
Genji nodded, seemed to be on the verge of embracing his friend, then pulled himself together and scurried off. Once he was comfortably seated between Tadaji and Sasaki, Koji breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, he could relax and enjoy some solitude.
That was handled well.
The bandit's eyes widened. He knew that voice. He jerked his head up, searching for the speaker, but saw no one. The closest bandits were Ken and Ryo - Ken had been moved out as well - but they were a good distance away and talking quietly to one another. And anyway, it wasn't their voices he had heard. This one was different. Secretive. Alien. Yet… familiar. Somehow, it was familiar. And, quite suddenly, Koji knew why.
"Okay," he whispered. "Jus' who th' hell are you?" Silence greeted him, so the co-leader jerked his head to the side, snarling more impatiently. "C'mon, ya've been hissin' at me fer two straight days; it's no use hidin' now!"
There was a small, friendly chuckle deep inside the bandit. Sharp as always. I shouldn't have expected less.
"Answer my question," he growled, trying to keep his voice low while his eyes desperately searched for the speaker. "What are ya? What d'you want from me?!"
I'm you, of course.
"Bullshit."
Hardly. Maybe I'm not you, exactly, but I'm a part of you. A part of you that's always been sleeping, until now. As for what I want, well, if I'm you, then I simply desire the same things you desire. Respect. Recognition. Hikaru.
Koji paused for a moment, trying to digest this tidbit of information. He very quickly decided that he couldn't possibly digest something like this, and put a hand against his forehead, sweatdropping. "Holy hell, I never thought I'd start losin' it. Hearin' voices already? And what's worse is this one actually makes sense."
Think of me as a product of madness if you wish, but I can assure you that you're not mad.
"Yeah, 'cause sane guys hear people whisperin' around in their heads all the time." Koji leaned his forehead against his hand, wondering why he was even talking to this crazed figment of his imagination. Still, he had to agree that insanity was an unlikely excuse for the sudden hissed suggestions. Maybe it was the fever; it did seem like it was getting a little worse. Or maybe he hadn't been getting enough sleep, and it was making him hear things. Yes, that was possible.
You're fever is worsening, and you haven't been getting enough sleep, but that's hardly a rational reason to hear voices. And if you really think you're in the thralls of madness, then you certainly are the sanest madman I've ever encountered.
The bandit jumped, completely taken aback by the stranger's words. He hadn't spoken any of his theories out loud! "How-?"
But before Koji could ask his surprised question, the speaker - if indeed it was another entity and not just the act of a deranged mind - answered. You don't have to speak out loud, you know; I can hear your thoughts just as well as your words.
"But that doesn't make any sense!"
Of course it does. I already told you: I am you, or at least a part of you. A very important part of you, and one that can lead you to great heights, if you're willing to walk unfamiliar path. He paused, then added quickly, And not so loud. Someone's coming.
"Eh?" Koji turned and was overtaken by a wave of dizziness. He clasped a hand across his eyes, leaning forward as he waited for the room to stop spinning. The wound in his side burned from the sudden movement; he gave a muffled groan at his discomfort, but made sure to keep his voice down. He didn't want the others to see him like this. Tasuki might have a heart attack if he did.
"Huh, I knew it," a dry female voice growled near his ear. "It figures an idiot who's dumb enough to get shot would also be too stupid to realize when he needs help. Lucky for that idiot, the people he's surrounded by aren't all as brainless as he is."
The dizzy spell quelled, Koji looked up, meeting the impatient emerald eyes of the younger Asatenshi woman. "Shuu-san?" He turned his gaze to a steaming cup in her hands. "Hm?"
"Here," she snapped, shoving the mixture at him.
Koji eyed the strange concoction. "What is it?" he asked, sniffing cautiously.
"Its tea, you moron," she answered with her usual amount of scorn. "Nee-san put some of her magic into it. I added a few herbs and a little of my own magic. It tastes like shit, but it'll lower that fever and help with the pain."
"Thanks," the co-leader muttered, tasting the liquid to see if it was really as bad as Shuu said. To Koji's pleasant surprise, the tea was actually very good, if not a bit bitter. He sipped at it with vigor, feeling its affect almost immediately; already, his injury seemed to be less of a burning pain and more of a dull, somewhat annoying throb.
The Asatenshi sister cleared her throat, eyes focused on a spot on the floor. "Hey, listen…" she said quietly, her voice unusually repentant.
Koji glanced up, unused to such a tone coming from the Asatenshi sister's mouth. He paused in his drinking, watching her with curiosity. "Uh, yeah?"
"Genji-kun told us about what happened. About how you saved his life and all, and then how you stayed back until everyone was out. I figured the only reason you went out there was to get some glory, so you could come back home and show it off for your precious little crush, but… when you came in today, half-dead and still worried about everyone else…" She glared at him, voice rising angrily, as if it was his fault she was saying all this. "Don't get me wrong or anything! You're still the biggest, most hopeless, most annoying idiot I've ever met! It's just…"
She opened her mouth to finish her sentence, then stopped, then opened it again, then stopped once more. Koji couldn't decide if she was choosing her words, or choosing whether to say them at all. Finally, she looked away, grumbling under her breath. "Anyway, I may have misjudged you. Maybe. A little."
The bandit blinked a few times. A very tiny smile started to twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Am I hearin' things?" he asked teasingly. "Did Asatenshi Shuu-san - the Asatenshi Shuu-san - just apologize to someone? Is that even possible?"
"It wasn't an apology!" Shuu snapped. "I never said 'I'm sorry,' did I?! Because I'm not sorry, I've never been sorry for anything I've ever said or done, and I never will be!"
Koji grinned his most devilish, finding that he rather enjoyed annoying Shuu for a change, instead of the other way around. "Well, yer almost-sorry, an' that's good enough fer me! See? I told ya we weren't all th' bastards ya thought we were." That was enough for now, he decided. The Asatenshi woman looked like she was about to blow a hole through his head. It was time to change the subject. "But hey, as long as we're bein' civil to each other, I guess I oughta thank you fer earlier. You 'n' Hikaru saved my life, an'," he nodded towards the tea in his hands, "yer still helpin' me out." Well, maybe one more little teasing comment wouldn't hurt. "Fer someone who thinks I'm disgustin', ya sure ain't willin' t'see me die, are ya?" He grinned, winking at the young woman. "Keep this up an' I might start thinkin' ya got a crush on me."
"That isn't it at all." Shuu's voice faded from apologetic - even faded from annoyed - and sounded only very cold and far away. "So don't get the wrong idea or anything. It's not like I like you or anything. But I told you already," she reminded him, emerald eyes never once meeting his hazel ones, "there's just no reason for you to die yet."
Koji's smile disappeared, replaced by a look of extreme confusion. Shuu had always seemed cold and untouchable, but for a brief moment she seemed even more than that. It was like she was from a different world, from a different universe entirely. It was like she wasn't even human. The co-leader didn't know what to say to something like that; it scared him, but more than that, it worried him. Because he hadn't forgotten that glowing crystal in her room just yet…
"Ch, how disgusting."
The co-leader snapped out of his private thoughts, jerking his head in Shuu's direction. The young woman, back to her normal bitter self, watched something at the dinner table. Koji followed her gaze, his eyes landing on the far side of the room where Tasuki and Hikaru sat together. Tasuki was looking down dejectedly, muttering something that Koji couldn't decipher. His hand gripped his chopsticks angrily; whatever he was saying, he certainly didn't seem happy about it. The Asatenshi woman touched a hand lightly on top of his, speaking as if to comfort him. Tasuki looked up as she was halfway through her words, meeting her eyes and watching her with several emotions, some which even he probably wasn't aware of but which Koji understood perfectly. And he didn't like it at all.
"They're both idiots," Shuu grumbled, standing and putting her hands behind her head. She glanced over her shoulder at the bandit co-leader, noting the fire building behind his eyes. "Though," she added dryly, "if they're such idiots, and you still chase one and defend the other, I suppose that makes you the biggest idiot of all, ne?"
"It - it doesn't mean anything," Koji told her, fumbling for some kind of excuse, some kind of rational explanation. "Today's been tough, what with th' attack 'n' all, an' Genrou always takes that kind of thing personally. He's upset - he blames himself. Now, now see, normally I'd be over there cheerin' him up, but since I'm hurt, well… well Hikaru's jus' a nice person, an' she's tryin' t'make him feel better. She's bein' a good friend. That's all. That's all."
Shuu stared at him for a moment, waiting for a certain sort of reaction. That reaction, depending upon what it was, depending upon whether Koji accepted the hard facts, or chose to fight against them… whatever the case, it would either begin the process or hurriedly halt it. Nothing happened just yet, so Shuu spoke. "You really oughta just give her up, you know that? You'll just get hurt if you don't." She sighed, moving away but still watching him carefully. "But who am I to talk, right? I don't know the first thing about love…"
Finally, something flared in Koji's eyes. It was delayed, and weak, but it was there all the same. Fierce and raw and powerful, though perhaps not fully manifested, it was the fire of challenge. He wasn't going to give anything up, not yet. Perhaps not ever. It had been expected. And it was all she needed to see. The Asatenshi woman turned and walked away, her face never once revealing her thoughts.
Things were going to get very, very interesting.
---
Small tufts of clouds darted across the moon that evening, casting scattered shadows against the forests and plains of Mount Reikaku. Most of the bandits had long since fallen asleep, lulled by a mixture of sake, exhaustion and the soft sounds of the wind whistling around the stronghold. Even a few of the men on watch duty had drifted off into a light doze, their partners promising to awaken them if something interesting happened.
One young bandit had made such a promise to his female companion, and now watched her carefully, checking to see if she truly was asleep. The youth waved a hand in front of her face, whistled, then snapped his fingers a few times to see if he could get her attention. There was no response; she didn't even flinch. He grinned triumphantly and began to stand, creating as little noise as possible. The pines that surrounded the stronghold rustled in the winter breeze; the bandit froze, his eyes on his watch partner. Still, she didn't move. His smile returned; the mountain could collapse and she'd be none the wiser. He started to tiptoe quietly away, off on his own private business…
"Where do you think you're going, Genji-kun?"
"Eep!" the young bandit froze, jaw dropping as he turned towards the sound of the voice. "Hi-Hi… Hikaru-san?! I thought you were taking a nap!"
The Asatenshi woman stood, chuckling at the bandit's surprise. "I will admit, it was hard keeping still when you blew in my face, but I do pride myself on my ability to keep my composure under all circumstances." She put her hands on her hips, glaring at him accusingly. "Besides, I wanted to see why you were in such a hurry for me to fall asleep. Trying to sneak off? Perhaps to check on a certain injured someone?"
Genji clenched his fists at his sides, justifying his action with a passion. "But what if his fever gets worse or his injury starts hurting and he needs someone's attention but he's all alone in his room and he can't even call for help and the next thing we know he's really really really in trouble and this time you can't save him and it'd be all my-"
"Genji-kun?"
"H-hai?!"
"Please calm down. I already told you, Koji-san is going to be just fine. He had a good dinner and drank at least a few cups of Shuu's tea, so that will easily keep the fever and the pain down. What he really needs right now is a good night's rest, something he wouldn't be able to achieve if you kept sneaking into his room and waking him up."
Genji sighed in resignation, plopping down on the ground with the Asatenshi woman. "Hai, Hikaru-san," he muttered somewhat unhappily. He looked up, an idea forming in his mind. "But maybe if you checked on him-"
A very small sweatdrop began to appear on the Asatenshi woman's head. "Genji-kun…"
"Well, you're a lot quieter than I am, and you have your magic so you could do it quicker, te kanjii! Plus, well, if you accidentally woke him up I don't think he'd mind at all-" the youth gulped, realizing what he was hinting at, then decided that it was really no secret anyway and continued. "Koji-sama really likes you, you know."
This time Hikaru was the one to sigh. "Yes," she agreed unhappily, "I know it all too well, Genji-kun."
"I think… I think he's even in love with you." Genji watched her carefully, but the Asatenshi woman made no move to respond. The youth persisted. "Neeeee, Hi-ka-ru-saaaaan, I said-"
"I heard you. I just… I just didn't want to answer, is all."
"But doesn't that make you happy? Knowing that somebody loves you, te kanjii?"
"It would make me much happier if it was a different someone," she answered. The sister frowned, drawing her knees to her chest and watching a blade of grass sway in the wind. "I've known that for a while now, Genji-kun, or at least I had guessed at it. But… but I just… Koji-san is a nice person, and I truly enjoy his company, don't misunderstand me, it's only…"
"You only think of him as a friend, ne?"
Another nod. "I've been trying to get him to understand that as well, only he is very stubborn and equally persistent. And I don't have the courage to come right out and say something like that - I wish I did, but somehow I feel like that would hurt him even more. And I don't particularly want to hurt him, you see…" Hikaru's frown deepened, and for a brief moment Genji wondered if she was only thinking about love, or about something much bigger and more complex. "I just hope the subject never comes up. Maybe, given enough time, Koji-san will simply fall out of love with me."
"I hope so," Genji agreed quietly.
Hikaru glanced at the bandit out of the corner of her eye, a small smile twitching on her lips. "I can imagine why you'd think so, Genji-kun." She giggled as the young bandit blushed bright red, watching her with wide purple eyes. "It would be a lot easier to win him over if he wasn't looking at anyone else, deshou?"
"Eh?" The youth blinked, then shook his head fiercely. "Oh, no, Hikaru-san, that isn't it at all, te kanjii!"
"It isn't? But aren't you in love with Koji-san?"
Genji poked his index fingers together, looking down at the ground as he fought to speak coherently. "Well, yes, I mean, I am and all, and that isn't it exactly, it's just…" he looked up again, though his eyes never met Hikaru's. Rather, he turned his gaze outwards to the surrounding trees, smiling at the thought of the older bandit. "I do love Koji-sama, Hikaru-san. But… but I know he doesn't feel the same way about me. And it seems to me, that when you chase after something you can never get, it just brings pain to everyone. I don't want to bring pain to Koji-sama, and if I did, then that isn't really love, right? Because, because loving someone means you always want them to be happy no matter what, and to do everything you can so that person can always be happy. Right? Isn't that right, Hikaru-san?"
"Perhaps it is, Genji-kun."
"So, for me, I guess… I guess it doesn't really matter if Koji-sama loves me back or not. If I can be near him, and watch him live with a smile, even if that smile is never directed at me… then, then that's okay. For me, that's okay." He turned his head, meeting the Asatenshi woman's eyes for the first time since he'd begun speaking. "That's why… why I wish he'd fall out of love with you, Hikaru-san. Because ever since you came here, he's been different. And I don't like it. I don't like seeing Koji-sama different like this."
Hikaru was silent for several seconds. After a moment, she turned her eyes away from his, and there seemed to be honest repentance in her tone. "…I'm sorry, Genji-kun. Ever since Nee-san and I showed up, all we've done is caused you and the others a lot of trouble."
The bandit shook his head again, just as fiercely as before. "No, no, no, no, Hikaru-san! That isn't true at all! You've done a lot of good, too, te kanjii! Koji-sama has been bad-different, but… but Gen-sama, Gen-sama's been good-different, ever since you came here! The way he looks at you, and sometimes, the way he acts after you've been talking together… times have been hard, but it feels like Gen-sama is trying to figure a lot of things out, and it feels like you're the one helping him with that. I don't really really really like Gen-sama like I do Koji-sama, but I still really really like him, so seeing him happier, seeing him with a person who can make him smile and laugh, that's reason enough for you to be here, te kanjii!"
Now it was the Asatenshi woman's turn to blush. "Genji-kun… you mean… you truly think that Tasuki…?"
Genji giggled at the sister's stammered words. "Gen-sama's very confused these days, and it seems to me that he's always very confused about you. He doesn't know what to think of you - what to feel for you." He closed his eyes, putting his hands to his cheeks and squealing happily to himself. "It's so cute to watch, te kanjii!"
Hikaru shook her head, laughing as she did. "Genji-kun, I'll never understand you. You're act so mature one minute, and like a teenage girl the next… But whatever the case, I want to try and help you out." She sat up on her haunches, facing the young bandit and grinning. "I'll see if I can't gently push Koji-san away from me, all right? If he sees that I'm not interested, he may give it up. Not only would that make him happier, but perhaps he would start looking around, and notice his wonderful young bandit roommate…" she giggled, poking the youth's nose teasingly. "Or maybe I should try hooking him up with my sister! What do you think of that, hm?"
The two stared at each other for a moment, as if seriously contemplating the idea… then burst into helpless peals of laughter.
---
If Genji had snuck into Koji's room that evening, he wouldn't have had to worry about awakening the bandit co-leader: he was already wide awake, laying back in his bed and watching the evening shadows dance across his ceiling. He was waiting for someone to appear. He was willing to wait the entire night, if he had to. He glanced around, remembering that his young roommate was on watch at the moment. Good. This would be a perfect time for that voice - if indeed it was real, and not just his imagination - to show itself. Though, it sure was taking its time about it… maybe he'd dreamed up the whole thing, after all…
Not quite.
Koji jerked upright with a start, wincing as the wound in his side screamed in protest. The bandit grabbed at his abdomen, looking around the room for the speaker, though of course he knew he would find no one. "Nice entrance," he muttered. "I was jus' about t'fall asleep, too."
Which wouldn't have been a bad idea. I already told you, you haven't been getting enough rest.
He thought he could survive for the night, he explained mentally, testing the voice's earlier statement. But what had taken him so long?
Absolutely nothing. I have been here the entire time. All you had to do was call on me, and I would have answered.
That would be a bit tricky, Koji reminded him with a wry smile, seeing as how the co-leader didn't know the voice's name. Also, he added, seeing as how he didn't really believe any of this.
Some things you don't have to believe for them to be true. As for my name - well, I am you, so "Koji" would be appropriate. However, that may create some confusion, so you may call me Doro-kun, as in Dorobou Thief.
Koji nodded. That was fair enough, he supposed. But what could this voice want with him?
Nothing.
Then why was he here?
To help you achieve what you want.
The bandit didn't buy that. He had learned from experience that people rarely did anything without wanting something in return. Besides, he sincerely doubted that a deranged mind would think up a personality that didn't wanta few things out of life.
Do you truly believe that I am something you created? Something from a tired mind, or a feverish one, or a mad one? Doro, as he called himself, chuckled a little. Well, I know your thoughts because they are my own, and I know you are confident of your sanity.
Okay, fine, Koji silently consented. For the moment, he would say that this "Doro" was real - he would assume that one thing. But the question still remained: why was he here?
The voice sighed. Must I continuously repeat myself? Come now, Koji, you're a lot smarter than that - much smarter than any of the other bandits in this stronghold. As I already said, I am here to help you attain that which you long for. I am a part of you that you didn't even realize you had, a part of you that can take you to great heights. Call me Ambition, if you will, or perhaps Desire. I personally prefer the title Strength, but it's your choice.
The bandit frowned. But what could some tiny little voice do that Koji couldn't do by himself?
Nothing, of course. Because we are one in the same. I believe I mentioned that already. Doro's voice lowered into a seductive purr; it was a tone that would become increasingly hard for Koji to ignore, or disagree with. I have awakened because you, deep inside yourself, awakened me. Because you have decided to strive for things that you never considered before. And I am here to help you.
Koji frowned. It sounded promising, but he still wasn't quite ready to buy it. "So," he said, this time out loud, "are you tellin' me that everyone has one-a these little voices inside-a 'em? That this ain't weird at all?"
Certainly. Most never awaken it, however, and those that do ignore it far too often. Your friend Tasuki has such a one - I believe you've seen it, the way he sometimes disappears inside himself?
The bandit co-leader's eyes widened. So that was it! That was where Tasuki seemed to go, all those times! It made sense, to an extent; at least, Koji was willing to believe it. If it could make this normal, if it could steady his questions about his sanity, then he would easily believe it. Because he was interested in what Doro had to say. Because there was no harm in just hearing this thing out, after all - he could always ignore it later. Because a little part of him was curious to see just how much he could accomplish, with the right help. Mostly, though, because he hadn't forgotten the way Hikaru had looked at Tasuki that evening, nor the way Tasuki had looked back, if only for a moment…
Then I take it that means you are ready? Ready to accept this - to accept me - to accept your destiny?
His destiny? Koji scowled. He didn't know about all that. But Doro could help him, right? Could help him get the things he wanted? The things like… like… well, hell, all he could even think of at the moment was Hikaru. That was all he really wanted, wasn't it? And if Doro could help him with that… The idea made the bandit tremble with excitement. "How?" he asked aloud, almost too eagerly, almost too hungrily.
That takes time, Koji. For the moment I will merely watch, wait, and listen. But I cannot do even that if you are not willing to commit to this.
Commit to it? He chuckled at the idea of actually rejecting such a simple offer. Hell, yeah, he'd commit to it.
Koji felt more than saw Doro smile. It was a charming, sort of disarming smile. The bandit had no idea what lay behind that, nor behind the friendly voice that asked, also a bit too eagerly: Then we have a partnership?
Sure thing, Koji agreed readily, giving the voice a little mental handshake as if to seal the deal. He was about ready to try anything, now. And after all, he reminded himself with a shrug, what was the worst that could possibly happen?
---
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Author's Mundane Ramblings: Nov. 27, 2004; 1:04 PM
Hao, dear readers! Apologies for the late chapter, but recent events have kept me away from my fanfiction. This included but was not limited to: A period involving a lot of mourning, followed by a period involving homework and the school musical (yay "Godspell!" Good job everyone!), followed by a period involving a brand-spankin' new significant other. Needless to say, many political, professional, and social issues have kept me very busy. But, here I am, and here's Verse Four, the closing to the cliffhanger and the true beginning of Demons.
Random Chapter Comments So Doro-kun has at last made himself known. Okay, kids, now here's a 2-dimensional villain of utter evil who you really can hate with no inhibitions or "what ifs!" He's purely there to make the story more difficult, and to make a few people's lives a little more painful. Hooray for simplicity! I don't always weigh down my readers with reluctant heroes and noble villains, y'know…
Answering Reviews Since I didn't do this section last time, I have a lot to catch up on. (Sigh) First and foremost, let me extend the hand of welcome to Cheeto-san and Mrs. Tasuki, my newest RFS reviewers! Glad to have you aboard! I'd also like to thank everyone for their political comments – who knew people actually read the author's notes? – and offer my sympathy to the other crying liberals out there. Now, onto the questions!
…Well, huh. I can't seem to find any questions in the reviews! That's okay, though – gives me a little time off! ;) And, after reading through the recent ones, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside again! So, let me just take this moment to thank you all for your wonderful reviews… and to give you a new game to play! (Everyone groans)
The Hikaru/Shuu debate is blazing, and stronger than ever! Though I've been flipping back and forth on everything to keep you guessing, I will tell you right now that I have purposely placed two definite clues that will tell you the Angel's identity for certain. Both have already been mentioned in this story, however discreetly… and if you can figure them out and e-mail them to me… I will tell you if you've hit the nail on the head! Doncha just love mystery games? ;)
Quote of the Week This one, like so many, is based on a twisted little conversation my friends and I had once (their names have been altered, Tarantino-style, for privacy's sake). It began with a discussion about "romantic realism" – that is, seeing the world for what it is, but trying to find the positive points regardless. And…
MR. BLACK: Wow, you just described the Bush Administration's entire policy!
MS. PINK: Yeah, it's like Bush gets up at a press conference and says: "Well, there's a war going on and a lot of people are dying – but look, a kitten!"
MR. BLUE: (Imitating a secret service agent) "Uh, sir? Dick Cheney just ate the kitten."
Ah, how I do love my friends…
Verse Preview? I've been forgetting to do these, haven't I? Heh, oops! Well, better late than never, I figure: A trip into town causes tempers to flare, shadows to spread… and enemies to reach a truce? All this and more in Verse Five!(But don't start looking for it for a while… alas, this one has a lot of editing to undergo…)
Happy Christmahanukwanzakah, and in case V5 takes a while, have a DEElightful New Year as well!
Dee ;)