Verse Five: Sennichite
--Stalemate-

"The two sexes - the opposite poles
There are two types of myself
Top and bottom, left and right
There are two types of myself
Front and back, heaven and earth
There are two types of myself
An angel - a devil
There are two types of myself."
--Suginami Jidou Gasshoden, et. al.; "Angel creation, namely light"--

Morning poked its golden head above the trees, shining down on the world and bathing it and its dozing inhabitants in a soft amber glow. The light spread across the sky and down onto the swaying sycamores and pines, shimmering across the individual branches and playing a soundless melody along the stubborn winter leaves.

The poetic beauty was completely lost upon Tasuki, who glared up at the surrounding branches and wished he could take his tessen to the entire thing. He scowled even deeper and glanced to the right at his two companions. First to the young man standing in the middle who attempted to keep his eyes straight ahead, and then to the infuriating brat of a woman on the far side of the path, her own fierce orbs glaring into the woods. He sighed, grumbled out a tiny curse, and turned his face towards the irritatingly blue sky. Didn't the sky know he was in no mood for it to be so damn blue?

'How'd I ever get dragged inta this?' he asked the clouds with a helpless little groan. It had all been Koji's fault, now that he thought about it. If Koji hadn't gotten himself hurt then he'd be out here right now instead of Tasuki, and the real Reikaku leader would be back where he belonged: on Mount Reikaku b – and far away from that brat!

The seishi gave himself an inward shake, halting that kind of thinking. Of course it hadn't been Koji's fault, but Tasuki always had to blame someone and Koji had been the nearest target. But that was stupid. If anything, it was the Akutsuki gang's fault. Everything was the Akutsuki gang's fault, now that he thought about it. Especially things that caused him discomfort.

After all, if not for the Akutsuki gang, half of Reikaku's supplies wouldn't have been poisoned and spoiled. Then the stronghold wouldn't be running low on food in the middle of winter, and Tasuki wouldn't have to go on a trip into town to go grocery shopping. Grocery shopping! Tasuki shuddered at the words. No Reikaku leader in history had ever had to do such a menial task! They were supposed to take what they wanted from all the fat merchants, right? And what they couldn't take off merchants, why, they could just loot in a raid! That was how it was supposed to be, right?

Almost as if carried by the wind, Tasuki could hear the argument he had held with Koji the night before, and Koji's matter-of-fact reply. "In case you've forgotten, we happen t'have a deal with th' folks in Kakou City. We don't attack their shops, an' they don't call th' Imperial Forces in t'take care-a th' 'bandit trash' squattin' on the edge-a their land." To which Tasuki argued that no Imperial Force in Konan would ever attack a Suzaku shichiseishi, and to which Koji smacked his friend over the head with his makeshift walking stick and told him to stop being difficult.

And of course they couldn't get anyone else to do it, because no one else was to know about it. That was the part of this little trip that really threw Tasuki for a loop. What was the point of sneaking off to town at daybreak and hiding the trip from the rest of the stronghold? But Koji had had an answer to that, too.

"Those sneak attacks by th' Akutsuki gang, an' their ambush on us in th' woods… it was a little too lucky fer my tastes," the co-leader explained, limping over to close his room's door in case of prying eyes and spying ears.

"A spy in Reikaku?" Tasuki had never considered it, and found the idea so ridiculous that he laughed when Koji mentioned it. "Yer way too damn suspicious."

"An' that's why I'm still alive," he answered snappishly, keeping his voice low. The co-leader sighed, explaining everything to Tasuki as he went. The main issue was Tasuki's safety, he claimed. Since he couldn't travel into town with a whole squad at his heels, they had to be careful. They just couldn't take any chances. "Th' second reason," Koji had added after a brief pause, "is that I wanna see what happens when no members in the stronghold know about our plans. I wanna see if that has anythin' t'do with what th' Akutsuki know." To which Tasuki had called his friend a paranoid old lady, and to which Koji had once again beat him over the head with his makeshift walking stick and told him to quit complaining. And that had most definitely been the end of that.

Tasuki frowned, glancing over his shoulder in the direction of Mount Reikaku. He rarely left his home, and now more than ever he worried about the stronghold. What if there was a sneak attack, and he wasn't there to help? Well, he'd just have to trust that Koji would take care of it. All he could do was hope for the best. Hope the bandits would be okay. Hope his friend would be okay.

Hope Hikaru would be okay.

Shuu felt the Reikaku bandit watching her. She glanced up, turning the full power of her emerald glare on the seishi leader. Tasuki glared back, snarled at her for a brief moment, then turned his head away as if to say she wasn't worth the energy to fight. The Asatenshi woman looked away as well, reflecting the statement, and went back to cursing the vigor of the trees. How dare they act so cheerful when she was stuck in this place!

'How in the gods' names did I get roped into this?' she demanded of the surrounding woods. It was that disgusting bandit's fault, really. If he hadn't been such a little fool and gotten himself injured, then he'd be out here instead of the Ahou. And if he'd been out here, then he certainly wouldn't have asked her to go with him, and she'd be back at the stronghold planning her next move in her and her sister's never ending game of Fate.

But then again, perhaps that was unfair. It was immature of her to blame the co-leader. That's right – it had been her sister's fault from the start! Koji wanted someone to go with Tasuki to watch his back in case of an attack, and Hikaru had oh-so-sweetly suggested her magic-toting sister. Shuu scowled. She'd never understand how Hikaru worked. It wasn't as if this separation would do either of them any good – they had their own specific orders, and law and honor demanded they follow them completely. And she knew this little trip hadn't been in either of their plans. So what was the big idea? Sometimes she wondered if Hikaru did things just to make her life difficult.

Of course she had done her best to get out of it. By annoying him, by pressing all those little buttons that she'd become an expert at pressing. "Why do you need me out there?" were her indifferent words. "He's an idiot, but he can take care of himself. And anyway, even if he did get attacked, what difference would it make to you? If he gets whacked, then that would make you the leader, wouldn't it?"

Koji whirled on the young woman, mouth fumbling for his words and eyes blazing. His defensive attitude had been unusually fierce; he had even gone so far as calling her a "crazy bi-" (fearing his safety enough to stop before finishing his sentence) and thrice saying that "that hadn't even crossed his mind!" The fact that he denied it so fiercely stated otherwise; Shuu was moderately surprised by how deep the Souleater had penetrated, but kept her thoughts to herself. Instead, she told him not to get his panties twisted in such a knot and said she'd look after the little jerk if it would stop his nagging.

It wasn't like she had much of a choice, anyway. To deny it would be to cast suspicion on herself – did she want Tasuki dead? – and suspicion was the last thing she needed. They were too deep into the "game" for Shuu to get herself kicked out of the stronghold. One slipup on either side could mean victory for the other, and she wasn't about to let that happen. So she swallowed her pride, bit back her disgust towards the pathetic Reikaku leader, and came along as his personal bodyguard for this little trip into town. And that had been the end of that.

That didn't mean she had to be pleasant, though.

Genji focused very hard on a spot directly in front of him, trying not to look to either side. He was afraid of what he might see and had no real desire to break up a looming brawl so early in their trip. True, that was the whole reason Koji had asked him to accompany Tasuki and Shuu, but it didn't mean he relished the idea. Feeling burning eyes on either side of him, the young bandit glanced first to his right, then to his left, and found both amber orbs and emerald ones glaring across the road at one another, revulsion oozing from their eyes. Genji sweatdropped heavily at his comrades.

'How did I ever…?' he started to ask, then stopped as he remembered Koji's pleading eyes, his hopeful voice, his sickly condition, and the blood-soaked bandage on his abdomen. Well, perhaps it hadn't been all that dramatic – his wound, in fact, hadn't bled since that first night – but love sees things with different eyes, and through Genji's violet orbs the situation held an air of exaggerated, almost tragic, romance.

Because for Genji, everything Koji had done – the way he leaned against the makeshift cane, the way he winced at the stabs of fire that plagued his abdomen, the way he still managed to flash his confident grin despite the row of pain-induced sweat that sometimes lined his forehead, and the way he looked upon Genji with so much pride, as if to say he'd gladly take another arrow for the youth – it was all a testament to the thousands of the things the youth adored about his beloved bandit. He wouldn't have been more willing to do Koji's bidding had the man been lying on his deathbed.

"Na, Genji-kun, can you do me a—?"

"Anything, Koji-sama, anything, te kanjii!"

And that had most certainly been the end of that.

"So…" the young bandit said, disliking the eerie silence. "Lovely day, isn't it?"

"What's so good about it?" Tasuki and Shuu griped, then whirled to glare at one another as if the unintended agreement had been a personal assault on their characters. Both uttered low noises somewhere between growls and snarls, then turned sharply away, green and red power crackling around their forms.

A heavy sigh escaped Genji's lips as he quickened his pace down the path, forcing his two companions to keep up. The sooner they reached Kakou City, the better.

---

The trip to town was uneventful but filled with anxiety, particularly for the young bandit "chaperone." Eventually Genji gave up on talking and slipped into a nervous silence, frightened that the tiniest disturbance might set the two off again. But Tasuki concentrated on the annoying blue of the sky, and Shuu concentrated on the infuriating joy of the forest, and somehow they arrived at Kakou City in one piece, though both seemed to grow angrier as the trip progressed. Genji, on the other hand, had never been happier to see the familiar red-roofed buildings of the small metropolis.

"Okay, let's get this over with," Tasuki grumbled. "Whadda we need t'get first?"

"How the hell should I know?" Shuu said with a shrug, the bustle of the crowd forcing her to walk within inches of the redheaded bandit and only worsening her mood. "Didn't your stupid friend give you a list or something?"

"What! 'Course not! I told him I'd never keep track-a somethin' like that, so he said he was gonna give it t'you!"

"And I told him I wasn't his slave and he should give it to you!"

"Damn you, we've come all the way here for nothing!" they both shrieked, desperately searching for a nearby someone to blame.

Genji sighed, digging a scrap of parchment out of his coat pocket and waving it between the pair of fighters. "The second reason Koji-sama sent me with you, te kanjii. Not that I really need it – I memorized our inventory a long time ago."

Having lost an excuse for a fight, Tasuki and Shuu reverted back to silence, fuming all the while. The youth sweatdropped and led them deeper into the city, reading through the list and hoping they'd settle down a bit. Genji's prayers were answered. Once the trio reached the marketplace an unspoken truce was called and the pair put aside their differences for a while and (grudgingly) cooperated on completing their task. Shuu and Tasuki even held back some of their more scathing remarks, much to Genji's pleasure, and did their best to help the young bandit haggle for good deals. Realizing that they had too many items to carry around the crowded marketplace, Tasuki requested that everything be sent to "The Emperor's Light," one of the classier inns in the area. "We'll go ahead 'n' stay there fer th' night," he explained, dishing out the gold pieces to the eager merchant. "No sense in tryin' t'go home in th' dark, an' besides, that place has the best sake I ever tasted."

The group finished their shopping early, so at Genji's request Tasuki agreed to let them look around for a little while. The young bandit soon regretted his decision. Now that the important work was over, his two companions seemed to think their truce could end, too, and went back to their glowering with a vengeance. Worse still, Genji learned that neither could stand the idea of being "outnumbered," so he often found himself in the middle of their fiercer verbal attacks. Anytime he admired a particular artwork with Shuu, Tasuki looked at him as if he had committed treason; and anytime he ogled a sword with his leader, Shuu's comments suddenly became two-pronged, directed first at Tasuki and then at the youth. Genji could hardly look at one without the other breathing fire down his neck, so he gave up the futile struggle and went back to his nervous silence. At this point it was probably better to just observe than to participate. And he had to admit that it was somewhat amusing once you weren't in the middle of it.

"Hm, this is interesting…"

"Why th' hell're you lookin' at jewelry? No hair pin in th' world c'd make y'look anythin' less than hideous."

"A lot you know about it! I'm sick of my hair always getting in my eyes when I'm trying to do spells, that's all!"

"Well, that's good then. Even if ya did somehow manage t'look less like a demon in that thing, no guy'd ever get inta bed with a little brat like you."

"Ha! As if you'd know what men want in a woman – or even what to look for in a woman!"

"An' what's that s'posed t'mean?"

"I bet the last time you had sex was in a brothel, dishing out gold pieces to those poor girls stuck with you for the night."

"Poor girls! They were lucky t'have me!"

"Oh, so I was right?"

"Teeme…!" Genji winced at the spree of cursing that followed, noticing that others traveling through the market did the same. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to some of Tasuki's foul language, but for these people it must have been just about traumatizing. Shuu watched him coolly, a tiny smirk on her face. Now that she was winning, was she actually enjoying this juvenile shouting match?

"… Jus' jealous 'cause no man with half a brain would ever get near you!"

Genji blinked at the sudden statement that had materialized in the middle of Tasuki's cursing binge. He glanced in Shuu's direction, already preparing himself for the ki-blast that would certainly follow.

The Asatenshi woman's form sparkled with emerald power, but her attack came with words and not with magic. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I'll have you know I could have any man in this market if I wanted them! Not that I do, of course, you men are utterly disgusting – especially you!"

Tasuki's hand moved towards his tessen like a warning. "Especially me! I'm a damn better catch'n you'd ever be, to a woman or a man!"

"I'm not the one who hits the brothels, Ahou!"

"At least I have a sex life, Gaki!"

Genji sighed, grabbing both by the arm and pulling them away from the crowds. He didn't plan on getting involved in their immature spat, even if it did come to blows, but he wasn't willing to injure anyone else over this either. "Besides," he added aloud, "it's getting late. Let's head on over to 'The Emperor's Light' and check out our room for the night… te kanjii…"

Both bandit and Asatenshi sister were too involved in their meaningless battle to pay him any attention. Genji pulled them along, trying to turn a deaf ear to their increasingly violent verbal attacks and finding it almost impossible. He even had to stop a few times and ponder a particularly cutting remark or biting insult. Could you really do that with a pair of chopsticks…?

"Jajauma!"

"Kieusete!"

They were resorting to vulgarities now, Genji noted. Maybe that meant they were almost finished. But when had they ever been finished insulting one another? Perhaps a better question was: how could they finish? Neither would ever stand the idea of the other "winning."

But why? Did they really hate each other that much? Were those feelings so powerful that they had to resort to insults just to vent their emotions? And if that were the case, then why didn't Shuu ever let loose her emerald magic or Tasuki ever unsheathe his tessen? What held them back?

What held anyone back from doing anything? Genji asked himself, and pulled to a halt because he immediately found his answer. But could Tasuki and Shuu really be afraid of each other? They acted as if they didn't fear anything, or at least nothing external. And what would they be afraid of, anyway? What did one have that would scare the other into such blazing hatred?

"Thank the gods, we're finally here," Shuu grumbled, jerking her head in the direction of 'The Emperor's Light.' "Now let's get the hell out of this crowded street and into that inn. I'm starved as it is."

"An' who said I'm feedin' ya on Reikaku money?" Tasuki snapped, but followed the Asatenshi sister into the building regardless. Genji hurried after him, still contemplating his latest ideas.

Since Tasuki knew the lay of the land better than the other two, he lead the way to the innkeeper, making sure the man got a good look at him before tossing down a few coins. "Two rooms for th' night, 'Jii-san."

The innkeeper, a stout older man with a few grey wisps of hair still clinging to his head, glanced up at the Reikaku leader. He blinked, squinted a bit, then grinned at the seishi. "Ah, Genrou-san, always a pleasure to see you! I'll reserve the two best rooms available, as well as your table in the corner. Is there anything special I can get you, or your friends?"

"Just make it one room," the Asatenshi sister cut in. "We'll save money."

"Two rooms," Tasuki reiterated, trying to ignore the young woman.

Genji sighed, bracing himself for another pointless argument. "Why?" Shuu queried, gesturing to the coins on the table. "I'm trying to help you save cash. You ought to thank me instead of ignoring me; I don't often feel generous, especially towards idiots like you."

"Ignore her, and give us the two rooms," the seishi said again, never once looking towards the woman at his side.

"I'm not a sissy like my sister, you know. Sleeping on the floor won't kill me."

Tasuki turned towards her, a stubborn fire in his amber eyes. This was one thing he wasn't about to back down on, though Genji couldn't figure out why. "That ain't th' point! I jus' don't wanna have t'sleep in th' same room with you, all right? Genji-kun 'n' I will take one, you take th' other. You oughta be happy that I'm givin' you some privacy."

Shuu flashed a crooked grin at the seishi. "Aww, what's wrong little brothel-rover? Afraid of being in the same room with a woman?" She leaned against the counter, smirking almost maliciously. "I know you and this city have some good memories, but I think I can defend myself far better, don't you agree?"

The seishi paled. His lips curled back into a half snarl – though, whether a snarl of anger or fear, it was impossible to tell. "How did you—" but whatever Tasuki had started to say would remain unsaid. With a concentrated effort he regained control, though Genji noticed that one of his hands gripped the counter in a near death lock. He glared at the Asatenshi woman then turned back towards the baffled innkeeper, a forced grin on his face. "Its comments like these that make me want a separate room from th' little smartass. Ya understand, right?" He gestured towards the coins. "B'sides, its more money fer you this way. Two rooms, 'Jii-san."

The stoud man nodded, a look of confusion and slight fear on his face, and waddled towards the back of the inn, shouting orders to a nearby serving girl as he went. The young woman glanced up, gave Genji a shy smile, and darted into the back room. The youth sweatdropped, then hurried after his companions to the reserved table. A steaming pitcher of hot tea already sat waiting for them, so the young bandit poured himself a full cup, trying to stay busy so he wouldn't look at Tasuki or ask the question that hovered on his lips, the question he knew he couldn't possibly ask. What did Shuu know, and why was the bandit leader so adamant about having two rooms…?

"Ano, Shuu-san, do you want some tea as well, te kanjii?" the youth offered.

The young woman nodded, but her searching eyes never left Tasuki's amber ones.

Genji poured the extra cup, then glanced over at the bandit leader, managing a weak smile. "I bet you're waiting for the sake, right Gen-sama?"

"Mm," he agreed, his own eyes staring a challenge into Shuu's. Whatever she was searching for, he didn't want her to find it. He didn't even want himself to find it. "You know nothing," he spat.

"On the contrary," Shuu answered, dropping her penetrating gaze. "I knew nothing, nothing but a few rumors and some wild hunches. Thanks to you, I now know a great deal."

"Nothin' happened."

"Through no fault of your own, I'm sure."

Tasuki's eyes blazed, but he had no answer to give.

Shuu took the offered cup of tea from Genji, blowing at the wisps of steam trailing from its glassy surface. She didn't look up again, and her next words were barely a whisper, but no one at the table had any trouble understanding them or the distaste behind them. "You're so disgusting."

Then she fell into silence. For once, Tasuki did the same.

But this wasn't the silence Genji had hoped for. This silence was full of unspoken questions, of anger and a silent struggle, of something akin to hatred but much deeper, and much more complicated… this silence was laden with fear, the kind of fear that seemed to hum in the air and sink deep into you, even if you didn't know what it was you were supposed to be afraid of.

Genji couldn't stand it. "So, um… so it was a good thing those Akutsuki bandits stayed away today, don't you think? Maybe they were hurt pretty badly after that ambush, too – we did take out a good number of their men as well, so they could've decided to take a break. I hope that break keeps up tomorrow, especially since we're gonna be loaded down with all those supplies. Ne, do you think we'll be able to carry all of them, or should we rent a horse? But then, we're going to have to return it somehow, and that might be a pain, te kanjii…"

The sake arrived some time during the youth's babblings. Tasuki took a swig of it, and the alcohol immediately lightened his mood. "We c'd always use Gaki as a pack mule – she's stubborn an' ugly enough fer it."

"That's funny, I was going to suggest we stuff all the packages into your big mouth, seeing as how they ought to fit with room to spare."

And so the fighting continued, and Genji smiled, because this was how it was supposed to be. So long as they fought, then neither side was losing; so long as they fought, their fears were kept at bay. And Genji could, at least, deal with that.

Although – he reminded himself as the evening continued, the food was brought out, and the arguments began to get louder and ruder – maybe the other customers weren't quite ready to deal with it. He noticed that more than a few people in the small common room shot Tasuki and Shuu disapproving glances, and just as many left the inn altogether, their hands cupped firmly over their children's ears. Genji sighed a little, wishing the pair could at least keep it down; he was getting tired of the woman in the corner wincing every time a curse word slipped its way out of their mouths. And the pretty young waitress kept shooting him those sympathetic little glances, which only made his situation with her more unpleasant…

"Um, excuse me?" Genji glanced up and moaned inwardly: it was the wincing woman from the corner.

Tasuki's eyes moved away from Shuu's, and suddenly he was all smiles. "Uh, yeah, what's up Oba-san?"

"Well, I was wondering if perhaps the two of you could keep it down, just a little?" she wrung her hands together, her eyes darting from first the seishi to the Asatenshi sister, and finally to the young bandit who kept trying to disappear into his teacup. "In fact, perhaps it would be best if you continued this, ah, 'spat,' in the privacy of your own room. I think you're upsetting your son."

Genji's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates – people often mistook him for being younger than he was, but to be Tasuki and Shuu's son! He opened his mouth to protest, but found his face covered in liquid as Shuu and Tasuki both spat out their drinks and jumped to their feet. "Our son!" they roared as one.

"I-I'm sorry… but I just assumed…"

"Well ya assumed wrong!" Tasuki snapped, jerking a thumb at the young woman. "I can't even stand lookin' at this whiny little brat! I'd sooner cut off my arm than have kids with her!"

"The very idea makes me want to vomit!" Shuu declared, for once agreeing with the Reikaku bandit. "This thing is the most disgusting creature I've ever had the misfortune of meeting! Just being in the same room with him makes me sick!"

By now the wincing woman had scurried back to her table, almost in tears, but the new fight had only just begun. Genji tried harder and harder to make himself invisible as Tasuki whirled on the Asatenshi sister, fire in his eyes. "An' what is that s'posed t'mean, Gaki! How c'n I be th' most disgustin' creature you've ever met, when you've had t'live with yerself all these years?"

"As if there were any doubt it would be you! You're such a slimy little coward, always looking for someone's shadow to hide behind, always trying to shove your own problems onto somebody else! You can't even stand yourself – why would you think others wouldn't feel the same?"

"You have no room t'talk!" Genji looked up, surprised by the tremor in Tasuki's voice. The bandit leader quivered with rage, the youth noticed, and Shuu didn't look much better. He wondered when the argument had taken such a personal turn – and why the pair took it so personally in the first place. "Yer always callin' me a coward, always sayin' I can't do anythin' by myself, but I ain't th' one who keeps hidin' in that sarcastic shell!" The bandit's voice lowered to a near growl, and for a moment Genji thought he really might resort to violence. "See, I don't buy yer little 'I don't give a shit' act, 'cause that's all it is – an act so you c'n keep away from people, so you don't gotta get close t'anyone." The bandit snorted. "What gives you th' right t'call me a coward, when yer so damn afraid of everyone that you gotta hide from th' world, that ya can't even admit—"

"Shut up!" Shuu snapped, her voice rising to a near shriek. "Shut the hell up! You don't know anything, you fucking bastard! You don't knowanything about me, about what I do or why I do it, so don't you even try to say you understand me when you don't know a damned thing – when you don't even know a damned thing about yourself!"

She stood swiftly, nearly knocking over her chair as she headed towards the inn's door. At the last second she whirled, pointing a finger at the bandit as if she could strike him down with that alone. Her voice grew calm again, like the silence of a storm right before the wind strikes. "Why don't you tell Genji-kun the real reason why you wanted two rooms? Why don't you tell him about that?" She paused, waiting for some kind of an answer, but Tasuki said nothing. "You're revolting, do you know that? Absolutely revolting. You, who dare to call me a coward." She drew herself up, but her finger never wavered from its mark. "At least I'm honest with myself. You can't even be that."

And then she was gone in a flurry of skirts, the door slamming in her wake.

Tasuki sat down hard, gasping as if he'd just gotten the air knocked out of his lungs. Genji looked over at the older bandit, frowning at his sudden paleness and the look of repressed terror in his eyes. Worse than that, though, was the way he wouldn't look at Genji. As if he couldn't look at Genji…

"Y'know what?" he said after a long minute had passed. "I think I'm gonna head up t'my room, okay?" He stood, tossing a few coins onto the table. "Have a few more drinks if ya want. That oughta cover it. I'll… I'll see ya later."

The youth watched silently as his leader stood, never once turning his amber gaze onto Genji's violet one, and made his way towards the stairs leading up to the inn's rooms. In moments he disappeared from sight.

The young bandit glanced at the coins on the table, then back up at the stairs where Tasuki had disappeared, then towards the door Shuu had exited from.

He ignored the money and stormed towards the door.

---

The Asatenshi woman hadn't gone far, and was relatively easy to locate; people remembered a young woman who marched down a street crackling with emerald light. The youth found her in a nearby restaurant, chatting easily with one of the serving girls. Genji hesitated for a moment, amazed by the uncharacteristic smile on his traveling companions' face, but shook off his surprise and remembered his purpose.

"Asatenshi Shuu-san!"

She turned, alarm in her eyes at the sound of her name, but the curiosity quickly turned into disgust. "Oh. It's you. What do you want?"

Genji marched up to the young woman, jaw set in a stubborn line. "Asatenshi Shuu-san," he said again, slowly, deliberately, testing out his words before he used them. "We need to talk."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do. Right now. About Gen-sama. I want you…" the youth took a breath, attempted to say what he needed to say in a calm manner, but soon gave up and just blurted it out. "I want you to stop picking on Gen-sama, te kanjii!"

Shuu stared at him, a humorless smile tracing her lips, both hands placed on her hips. There was a sustained silence – Genji was certain she tried to draw it out as long as possible – before the young woman finally spoke, a sarcastic note in her voice. "Oh? Is that so? And why should I do something like that?"

"Because he isn't like you. He can't take insults and let them slide off like they're nothing. It hurts him, especially when you say things like… like those last things you said. That was unfair. It was wrong. And I, I don't want to see Gen-sama hurt, te kanjii! So you have to stop picking on him, okay? You have to stop being so cruel…"

"Ch, did it ever occur to you that he should be able to fight his own battles?" Seeing the downtrodden look flash across the youth's face, Shuu nodded. "I figured as much. All I said to him was the truth, and he knows it. That's why it was so hard for him to swallow. If he wasn't the coward I said he was, he would have followed me himself, instead of you having to do it for him." The young woman snorted. "You aren't all that horrid, but you really don't know anything."

"You're right," Genji admitted evenly, drawing a rare stare from the Asatenshi woman. "I suppose I don't really know anything – not about you, not about Gen-sama, not about anything. Maybe you're right about him. I don't really know." He raised his head a bit, and for the first time Shuu realized that she had to look up to meet his eyes. "But I do know that once, when I first came to Reikaku, Gen-sama saved my life, and I know that he'd do it again if he needed to, te kanjii. I know that he cares about the stronghold, and everyone in it, and he'd gladly die for it and all of us. And I know that I love him. Maybe not the way that I love Koji-sama, but… but I still love him, te kanjii. That's really all I need to know. That's why I want you to stop picking on him, te kanjii."

"Really? Well, isn't that sweet," Shuu drawled, though Genji thought he saw a flicker of doubt flash across her face. "And what'll you do if I tell you I don't feel like stopping? What if I told you I rather like seeing that Ahou in pain? What would you do then, hm?"

The youth's fists shook at his sides, and his voice trembled, but he went on without hesitation. "I suppose I'd have to fight you."

"Fight me? You? Fight me?" He nodded. Shuu stared at him, that same crooked smile twitching across her face. "You do realize that you wouldn't stand a chance against me?" He nodded again. The Asatenshi sister held up a hand, emerald magic dancing between her fingers. "You do realize that all the sword tricks in the world couldn't save you from a well-timed blast of this?" Another nod. "You do realize that I could eradicate your pathetic little existence – that is, turn you into a very small pile of cinders – without even breaking a sweat?" Once more, he nodded. "Then why the hell would you threaten to fight me? That isn't even a threat: it's a joke."

"Because," he replied, never once looking away, never once showing a sign of backing down, "because I love Gen-sama. I already told you that, te kanjii. Isn't that a good enough reason to fight?"

"But is it a good enough reason to die?"

"Of course. It's the only reason worth having, te kanjii."

Shuu looked at the young bandit, her hard emerald eyes boring into his violet ones. For a brief moment, Genji thought she would turn him into "a very small pile of cinders," and even braced himself for the oncoming blast. But then the sister's hard gaze lightened, her defensive stance fell, and she did the very last thing Genji expected.

Asatenshi Shuu threw back her head and laughed.

She laughed long and hard, the laughter of one who hasn't experienced a good one in years and intends to fully savor it. The young woman held her sides as she released the chuckles that she'd never allowed herself, that she'd never been able to see a purpose for until just now. It carried, and carried, and seemed to last for a lifetime, and all Genji could do was stand there, uncertain of what to say or how to react; should he be angry at her for taking him so lightly, or was this a compliment? And how could he possibly be angry with her now, when she looked the happiest that she'd looked since... well, since he could remember?

Finally, Shuu wiped a few tears out of her eyes and turned a full, dancing smile on the young bandit. She was almost attractive when she smiled like that. "Mother preserve us, but that's the best thing I've ever heard, Genji-kun. And here I thought your type had died out with the ages."

"M… my type?"

"Too brave to quit and too stupid to know they should never have begun in the first place. And all for the sake of an ideal that the rest of the world threw away." The Asatenshi woman shook her head, pulling out one of the nearby chairs and gesturing for the youth to take the offering. "You've really made my day, you little fool. Sit down. I'll buy you a drink."

So the youth, by now thoroughly baffled, did as Shuu said, and soon found himself sipping a light glass of sake and carrying on a rather pleasant conversation with the woman who just a few hours before he'd been ready to fight to the death.

Shuu chuckled at one of what she called Genji's "charming idiocies," taking a sip of her own drink and watching the young bandit with curious eyes. "Okay, kid, now that you've had a few cups of sake, let me ask you a question. You said you loved that Ahou, right? Now why is that? What in Suzaku's name would make a decent guy like you waste his energies on caring for such a selfish coward?"

"The same reason the other bandits do, te kanjii," Genji responded with a shrug.

"That's not good enough; you aren't like the other bandits, Genji-kun," Shuu argued. "They see what they want to see, and leave it at that. But you're different. You and that fool Koji are the only ones who can see what's inside your leader's pathetic mind, but even your idiot lover can't see it the way you can. So you can't give me some weak answer like that and expect me to believe it." She glanced up through her bangs, watching him carefully. "Unless you mean to tell me you're so busy hero-worshipping Ahou that you don't see him for what he is."

"No, Shuu-san. I see Gen-sama's weaknesses, even if he refuses to see them," Genji admitted. "I know he does things for selfish reasons, and I know he's afraid of… of something, something he can't even admit to himself." A small, caring smile traced his features. "I don't understand it, but… but I don't think that really matters. I don't think any of it matters. That's just another part of Gen-sama's personality. It isn't wrong, and it isn't right. I can't explain it exactly, Shuu-san, but it's just something that just… that just is."

"So it's blind acceptance, then?"

"I know what I know. I don't see why there has to be more to it than that."

Shuu paused for the briefest of moments, but continued to pry. "Tell me something, Genji-kun. Do you like me?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Better now than I did, but still not very much, Shuu-san. I hate the way you treat Koji-sama and Gen-sama." He shrugged. "But that's okay, too. Shuu is Shuu, even if I don't understand it or agree with it. So long as you aren't hurting anyone else, I won't stop what I'm not."

"That's why you came after me today. Is that right?"

"That's exactly right."

"Otherwise I just am. Is that it?"

"That's exactly it."

"Hm. How delightfully foolish." She watched him over her teacup, her emerald eyes blazing. She was thinking about Tasuki again. Genji could always tell when she was thinking about Tasuki. "But even you have to admit that that Ahou's behavior is going to get people hurt. He's a coward, and I despise cowards above everything else. How can you love someone like that?"

"Gen-sama isn't a coward, Shuu-san. He's afraid of something inside himself, but that doesn't make him a coward." He looked up, pure confidence in his violet eyes. "Gen-sama's brave when it counts. He's loyal, and in spite of his selfishness he still loves Reikaku, and that love makes him brave. That love, and that loyalty, those make him brave when it matters the most. You'll see that eventually, te kanjii."

The Asatenshi sister fell into silence, finishing off her glass of sake but pretending to still sip at it. She wasn't quite ready to leave just yet. Neither was Genji. He still had something he wanted to know, too.

"Nee, Shuu-san? Now, can I ask you a question?"

"I'm in a generous mood, so go ahead."

"Why are you afraid of Gen-sama?"

The young woman choked, even though there was no sake to choke on. She coughed a couple of times, glaring at the bandit with unhidden anger and more than a little surprise. "Damn, you don't beat around the bush, do you?" Genji smiled and shook his head. "And what makes you think I'd be afraid of that idiot, anyway? He doesn't have anything I need to fear."

"That's what I thought, at first, except the way the two of you fight makes me think you must really be terrified of each other."

"I hate him, and he hates me. Isn't that a good enough reason for us to fight?"

"But if you really hate him, then why don't you just kill him and get it over with?"

Shuu opened her mouth to respond, then snapped it shut. She did it again, slower this time, then hesitated, watched the youth carefully, and sighed. Something unusual shone from her emerald eyes. It took Genji a moment to realize it was compassion. "Some people get themselves tangled into messes and deserve it. You don't deserve it, Genji-kun. Do yourself a favor and follow the advice I gave the other idiot: don't dig any deeper. You're too rare a breed to die out just yet."

"What?" Genji inquired, voice hovering between a frightened squeak and a confused whisper. "What kind of an answer is that?"

She stood suddenly, scattering a few coins across the table. "I'm leaving," she told him. "You should do the same. It's starting to get late, and we have to leave early tomorrow."

"Wait a minute!" Genji cried, standing so fast that he knocked his glass of sake over. He was surprised to find tiny tears at the corners of his eyes. For some reason he was desperate to understand her, desperate to figure out what she was talking about. The way she said it, the way she looked at him, she made it sound like the entire world rested on her shoulders – and on the shoulders of his friends. "I answered your question! Don't you think you ought to answer mine, too? With a real answer? You owe me at least that, te kanjii!"

The Asatenshi woman's head whirled, her eyes silencing him as effectively as a bolt of her magic. "I said you were a rare breed, Genji-kun. I didn't say I owed you a damn thing."

And once again she was gone, leaving Genji alone with his thoughts, and with even more questions than he'd had before speaking to the strange young woman with those hard, vulnerable emerald eyes.

---

Tasuki stepped lightly out onto his room's balcony, turning his eyes down to view the nighttime landscape of Kakou City. He leaned against the railing of the small enclosure, closing his amber orbs and breathing a deep sigh. He hadn't been able to sleep at all that night. Eventually he had just given up. They'd be leaving in a few hours anyway, he figured; as soon as the sun was up, he was going to awaken Genji and that brat of an Asatenshi woman, and they'd be on their way back to Reikaku. The sooner they got back, the better. He was worried about the stronghold, and about Koji.

No, he admitted quietly. That was a lie. He was worried about Reikaku, and he did hope that Koji was taking care of things and getting on all right, but in his heart he knew they were fine. His bandit friend practically led the stronghold as it was, and his injury wasn't going to slow him down a bit. Besides, the Akutsuki gang was probably taking a break from fighting as well – last week's attacks had hurt them, too – so there was little to worry about. He was just homesick. He loved Reikaku, and like anything beloved, he didn't like being away from it for long.

No, he had to admit again. That, too, was a lie. He missed Reikaku, but that wasn't what he was really missing. It wasn't the thing he felt himself yearning for on this chill winter night, on this lonely night when Shuu had forced him to remember that which he refused to remember. He was aching for someone to help take that horrible memory away. He was aching for the one person who could always take those horrid feelings of self-doubt and disgust away.

He was aching blindly, painfully, almost uncontrollably, for Hikaru.

He needed to tell her about this evening. About her sister. About the words she'd said, and about what they'd done to him; about what they'd made him remember. But at the same time he knew he'd never tell her about that, because that was the one thing he could never, never, never talk about. Not with Koji. Not with Hikaru. Not even with himself. Because to tell it was to admit it, and to admit it was to show a part of him that he wanted to desperately forget; that he could never forget. And to tell it would be to show Hikaru that part of him, and to risk losing her. Because how could anyone keep caring for him once they knew what he'd done, what he'd almost done, and all in the name of something he thought was beautiful, of something he thought was called "love"…

No. Stop. Enough of that. Stop thinking about it. About love. About that night. And especially about Hikaru.

Only he didn't want to stop thinking about Hikaru.

She cared about him, right? She cared about him regardless. She knew a lot about him, even more than he'd told her; he'd seen it in her eyes. That scared him, but more than that, it helped him. Because she didn't hate him for it. She accepted it. In fact, she cared for him even more because of it. Because those weaknesses were a part of him, and she loved him. Yes. She loved him. Koji and Chichiri had both said it, so there was no harm in admitting it. Hikaru loved him, in spite of – no, along with – his weaknesses.

But she still didn't know about that, a part of him argued. And she never would, if he had his way. But Shuu knew about it. The rumors still floated around after all these years, and somehow Shuu had found out about it. And she might tell Hikaru. She might tell Hikaru and then Hikaru would ask him, and even if he lied he knew he'd never be able to hide it from her. Then Hikaru would leave him, just like the others had left him, just like Chichiri and Tamahome and all the other seishi had left him, and then—

No. Shut up. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! That was stupid. He was just worried. High-strung, because of earlier. Because of what Shuu had said; because of what she had revealed. He had already known that she knew a lot about him, as much as Hikaru if not more, but this… this was what terrified him the most. And what he really feared about Shuu was that, unlike Hikaru, she didn't love him for his weaknesses – she hated him for it. She hated him for it the way he hated himself for it, and for that reason she terrified him. For that reason he could never willingly show her any weaknesses; he could never give her a single inch. He could never let her win.

Tasuki glanced over his shoulder, back into his room where Genji lay asleep. The youth had seemed particularly worried that evening, not that Tasuki had had any time to ask what the problem was – he had enough troubles of his own. That was selfish of him. He knew that. But he couldn't help it, right now. He'd deal with Genji later. Somehow. Or maybe he'd tell Koji about it. Koji was so much better with the boy, anyway. Koji was so much better at a lot of things.

But it was no good thinking about that, or any of it. It only brought trouble that he didn't need. So he had to stop worrying about it. About the weaknesses, and about Genji, and about Shuu.

Even about Hikaru...?

Yes. Even about Hikaru.

Tasuki stepped further out onto the balcony, shivering unintentionally as his bare feet came in contact with the cold wooden floor. The temperature was just low enough that his breath created small white clouds in front of him, clouds that lasted for a half a second, then winked out forever into eternity. But he didn't like thinking about that.

The bandit leader placed his feet on the very edge of the platform, leaning out over the railing as far as he could without falling off. Slowly he took his hands off the railing, so that all that was keeping him from tumbling was a bit of good balance and just the right breath of wind. Once he was certain of his position he turned his eyes upwards to look at the thousands of stars dancing in the blackness of the night sky. He found his constellation easily; it always burned the brightest in the winter months, just to the south of the ever-present Hokkyokusei, the North Star. But even his stars seemed dim next to such a powerful light; nothing could ever outshine the guiding light, the traveler's star. Not even "Tasuki" at its brightest time of the season.

He realized suddenly that he hated his constellation.

Tasuki closed his eyes and leaned forward a bit more, enthralled by the feeling of vertigo that overtook him. Any minute now, he thought, he might lose what little balance he had and simply tumble off this balcony, fall the two stories to the hard ground below. Or perhaps he'd fly instead. That's right, just like he used to believe as a kid. He'd just fly right off into the sky, and forget about everything. Just vanish among the stars – become a star – shine for eternity. Gods, he wanted to shine almost as much as he wanted to vanish.

"Sometimes," he murmured to the night sky, "I really hate this place..."

Sensing movement nearby, the bandit leader returned to reality with a crash. He retreated off the balcony and disappeared into the nearby shadows in hopes that no one had seen him doing… whatever it was he had been doing. He was just about to return to his own room when he noticed the slim form on the balcony next door. He peered through the darkness, blinking in alarm as he realized the owner of the silhouette. But what in the world was Shuu doing out at this hour?

The Asatenshi sister moved to the edge of her own balcony, putting her hands onto the rail for balance and turning her head out towards the horizon. She didn't seem to be looking at either the city below or the sky above; rather, she was focusing on a point somewhere in the middle, somewhere forever in the distance, forever just out of reach. Her emerald eyes sparkled in the dim moonlight; they were the only part of her that Tasuki could clearly see, and he was startled to realize that they were shining with a yearning. It was a different sort of yearning than the one he'd just experienced, but there was something similar in it, something Tasuki felt that he understood, somehow.

But he didn't have long to ponder it because she spoke, and when he strained against the wind he managed to catch snippets her short sentences.

"I'm trying... really... Only I haven't done it this way in such a long time. It's not... why isn't it as easy? ...They have to complicate... Only I promise that I'm not letting it happen. I won't..." she paused, as if listening to an unseen speaker, but the wind changed directions and carried all sound away from the bandit.

He could still watch though, and watch he did, momentarily captivated by the young woman as she spoke to the night air, her body craning forward on the railing and her eyes still watching that faraway horizon. Her form glowed with magic – with desire? – with pain? – and for the briefest of moments Tasuki thought he saw a pair of shining ebony wings extend from the young woman's back. The image was gone in a moment, but the idea still remained, and the bandit leader wondered if Shuu really wouldn't simply leap off the balcony and fly towards that horizon she seemed to be grasping with her eyes. And for that brief second, Tasuki envied the Asatenshi sister more than anyone in the world.

But after a short time her hands tightened into fists, clutching at nothing but air and dreams, and the power disappeared from her body. She drooped against the balcony's railing, her head resting weakly in her palms. When she looked up again that same yearning still emanated from her harsh emerald orbs. Nothing had changed.

The wind turned once more, and Tasuki caught her final, ragged words.

"I hate this place."

Tasuki blinked. He hadn't expected this. He turned to slip back into his room, but underestimated the sharp hearing of the young woman. She whirled at the sound of his door creaking open, bright eyes peering through the darkness and glancing wildly about for the unknown trespasser. "Who is it!" she demanded. "Who the hell is it! Show yourself!"

Tasuki sighed. There was no use trying to hide; somehow, he knew she'd figure it out. He stepped forward, holding up his hands in a sign of peace. "Woah, easy Gaki, its jus' me."

"You," she snapped, but why did her voice sound so frightened? "What are you doing out here?"

"Jus' getting' some fresh air, that's all."

"Did you…" she struggled both to find her words and to keep them from trembling. "I mean, you didn't… not to say that I… but how long have you…?"

"I jus' got out here," he answered. A sudden, horrifying thought crossed his mind. "How long have you—? I mean, not that I've been… but you…?"

"Easy, Ahou, I haven't been here long," she said, and Tasuki knew it was a lie. "I heard someone out on the balcony, but by the time I arrived they were gone. So I just… I was only out here for a moment."

"Yeah. Same here. Right before you came out, I guess. But I went right back in," he assured her. For some reason that even Tasuki couldn't explain, he didn't want to admit that he'd seen Shuu's display. Perhaps it was because he was afraid to hear her admit that she'dseen him as well. Or perhaps it was because he didn't want to get into a fight this late. Or perhaps it was because he had, if only for a tiny second, sympathized with the Asatenshi sister's fruitless battle, with her eternal struggle for something she could never, ever have…

"Well, I'm going to bed," Shuu announced.

"Me too," Tasuki agreed. He moved towards his door, then stopped. He noticed that Shuu had done the same thing. "Oi. You wouldn't… I mean, you won't… if ya saw anythin' – not that there was anythin' t'see – an' about that stuff from earlier – not that there was anythin' from earlier… you won't, well…"

"No. I won't tell… well, there's nothing to tell," she said with a shrug. Once again they traveled towards their separate rooms, and once again they stopped. This time, Shuu spoke first. "And you won't… that is to say, if there had been anything to see, which there hadn't – and which you said you hadn't seen anyway… but if there was something, you wouldn't go around… you won't let them know…"

"Nah. I ain't gonna… I didn't see nothin', anyway," he assured her. "An' that's that."

"Yes," she agreed quietly. "That's that."

"Not that I like you or anything…" both snapped a bit too quickly, and a bit too defensively.

"It's just—"

"You know—"

"For Genji-kun's sake—"

"An' since you are Hikaru's sister—"

"We should…"

"Just try – a little bit…"

"To maybe get along."

"At least t'reach a stalemate."

Shuu peered at him through the dark, even though she couldn't see anything. Tasuki could feel her eyes on him. He knew she could feel his eyes on her, too. "Yeah," she agreed quietly, accepting that term. "A stalemate."

"Okay… yeah, okay. G'night then, Shuu-san."

"…Tasuki-san."

And the stars danced above, forever out of reach as they shone their light upon the wide, lonely world.

---
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Author's Mundane Ramblings: May 24, 2005; 8:00 PM

I'm baaa-aack!
I see no reason to apologize for the extreme lateness of this chapter. An apology would just make you less willing to yell at me about how long I took, and a strong berating is exactly what I need. There is no excuse for a five-month delay! And I'd hate to make you feel bad for yelling at me because "Well, she did apologize," so I won't apologize at all. It makes sense in my mind, anyway...

Random Chapter CommentsThis. Chapter. Was. A. Royal. Pain. In. The. Ass. I wrote it a long, long time ago and I couldn't decide how I felt about it, then I read it again and decided it needed some major edits. Nearly a year (and several headaches) later, the edit is finished and I'm still not happy with it and I'm about ready to, as Tasuki would say, "take my tessen to the entire thing." I just never seemed to have the skill to portray this chapter the way I saw it in my mind. But who knows, maybe I conveyed what I was trying to convey after all. The next chapter is a thousand-and-one times better, I promise! Anyway, regardless of my opinion on this one, comments are still much appreciated. Criticism is, of course, always welcomed, and in this chapter's case it's expected.

Answering Reviews I know it's been a while, but assuming you can remember your questions, then you might appreciate the answers. First off, welcome to Katrina-san, carol-san, Mrs. Tasuki, and Nyan Nyan-san! If you all are still there to remember me, then I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! And now...
Katrina-san, about Web Ads – Until recently, because of the way I uploaded my files, I had no means of getting rid of them. Trust me, I hated those little buggers too. But now I'm free from their control! Hooray!
Hm... Don't seem to be any others... guess that's it for today then! Don't be afraid to ask questions, O Readers – otherwise my freetalk sessions seem so pointless!

Quote of the Week This week's quote is also entitled: The Ultimate Statement of Optimism...
"Well, it could be worse. You could be on fire!" Yours Truly

Verse Preview? Koji. Hikaru. A moonlit evening on Reikaku. Yet somehow you know this isn't going to end in some cheesy romance scene, don't you...?

'Till Next Time (which hopefully won't be another five months) – Dee