Yami: Wow! Hi people, IT'S ME!
Sasuke: I can always count on you for pointing out the obvious.
Yami: Hey!, anyway, I'm two weeks from leaving my country, I'm gonna miss it!
Sasuke: Hey aren't you too busy to be writing this...whatever it is?
Yami: So you want me to stop writing this for only god knows how much time? So that Naru could possibly have a relationship with Gaara? You know that until now he hasn't even talked to you right?
Sasuke:...
Yami:...
Sasuke:Well what are you waiting for? WRITE WOMAN, WRITE!
Yami:...ok...O.0...The part where Gaara, Naruto and Kankurou are in the car really happened, it was me, my best friend Alex (he will be helping me out in this story ) and his big brother who was driving the goddamned mustang. I seriously feared for my life. AND THEY NEVER CATCH HIM! I swear he has, like, super speed powers.
Naruto: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, we really appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO...if I did Ichiraku would be turned into a sweet shop named THE SUPER ATOMIC DOG, or something stupid like that...
A black mustang with purple designs stopped in front of the boys.
"Yo, Gaara...not to be rude but whose your friend?"
"Kankurou, this is Naruto and vice versa"
"You're Naruto? The Naruto?"
" The one and only"
"Man, I owe you, like, everything"
"Why?"
"Why? WHY? Thanks to you Gaara is...nice...he isn't the sadistic bastard he was" The brunette ignored the growl that came from his younger sibling. "Besides, I finally know what his smile looks like"
"'I'm glad I could help!"
"So ya coming over?"
"Guess so"
"Hop in"
And a second after the boys shut their doors Kankurou started driving like a mad man being persecuted. Naruto was fearing for his life and Gaara was grabbing furiously onto his seat.
"So whatcha been up to?"
"Nothing much just avoided being killed by mad drivers! Slow down damnit!"
"No need to, besides the faster we get there the faster we can go home"
"Where are we going?"
"Shikamaru"
"Hn, figures"
"Whose Shikamaru?"
"Temari's boyfriend, you remember her right?"
"Yeah, you told me that she has this 'yaoi' obsession"
"Thats her alright. Damn passed a red light, oh well"
"Aren't you going to get in trouble?"
"So? This is my motto: 'FUCK THE POLICE, THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!" The brunette shouted this out the window.
Immediately sirens started sounding just behind the car.
"Police! Pull over!"
"NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Kankurou made a sharp turn, momentarily losing them before they reapeared.
"Kankurou! For ramen's sake, pull over!
"No!"
And the brunette speeded even more. Naruto wasn't sure if that was even possible.
After Kankurou (somehow) managed to lose the police, he stopped just in front of a yellow house with green windows.
"Come on help me out" The three got out the car.
Kankurou went to the back of the car and opened the trunk. There tied up was a teen that appeared to be in his 18ns, but Naruto couldn't be sure. Kankurou grunted as he picked the (apparently sleeping ) guy up and out of the trunk.
"Goddamnit, Gaara help me! Do you know how much this guy weights?"
"Let me help-"
"Nah, its okay." Gaara nodded while Kankurou tripped, making them both fall to the floor.
"Damn this guy to hell, what does he eat if he spends all his time sleeping and having sex with Temari!"
"Sex?"
The brothers turned to look at the blonde. He looked confused.
"You don't know what 'sex' means?"
"No, he doesn't"
"What! You cant possibly be 17 without knowing its meaning...or having discovered its meaning!"
"I'm 15"
"Oh... I thought you were extremely short for you age...but...your still short for your real age"
"HEY! I'm not short!"
"You're not short? You barely make it up to Gaara's chin and that was his height at your age!"
"So?"
" Anyways, I had my first when I was 15, even Gaara did!"
"Your first what?"
Kankurou looked at Naruto than at Gaara incredously.
"He seriously doesn't know?"
"No, and I want to keep it that way"
"Protective, aren't we?" He got a growl in response.
"Anyway kid, do you want to know what sex is?" Naruto nodded and Kankurou continued with his explanation, going as far as to tell him about gay sex, much to the blonde's embarrassment. Naruto blushed a shade of red that would put karin's hair to shame and started stuttering excuses to get into the car.
"Innocent ain't he?"
"Shut up"
They finally managed to get the body…erm…guy to the front door.
"Okay, now…" Kankurou knocked on the door "RUN FOR IT!" And run they did.
"So you're a puppeteer?" They were currently in Gaara's bedroom, waiting for Temari to arrive.
"Yep, I'm also studying to be an archeologist."
"Cool."
"Pretty much. So what about you kiddo?"
"Well, I want to be an animator and a pediatrician."
"Cool, man, cool. Gaara wants his own morgue."
"He'll always be the sadistic, cold-hearted bastard we all know and love."
"Naruto."
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
Naruto chuckled "Okay, okay. I didn't mean any harm. So…what has life provided or deprived you of?"
"Matsuri."
"Who?
"Matsuri, his girlfriend."
"Woah, you have a girlfriend?"
"Yes."
"How did it happen and why wasn't I informed of this?"
"Don't worry, he only told us a week ago after years of the relationship."
"How long?"
"Four years, 9 months, 2 weeks, 3 days, 22 hours, 3 minutes and 5 seconds." The brunette and the blonde sweatdroped.
"Anyway, good for you." Gaara nodded. Suddenly a loud crash was heard and the door was practically torn of the wall.
"BABY !, I'M HOMEEEEEEEEEE! And I hope neither of you entered my room."
Kankurou scoffed "Why would we do that?"
"Well maybe to get your hands on my makeup"
Kankurou whined "Come on, that was just one time."
"Yeah right…sooo who's blondie here?"
"Hey your blonde too!"
"So?"
"Temari."
"Hmm?"
"This is Naruto."
Temari stared at Naruto…and stared…and stared…and stared and then she dropped to her knees and crawled in front of Naruto.
"Oh great one, thank you for saving us from the wrath of the raccoon one."
"Um…your welcome?" Suddenly a loud growl was heard in the room. Naruto blushed bright red.
"Ya hungry kid?
"Yeah…" Another growl.
"Come on, lets go to the kitchen."
When they finally got there, Naruto was marveled to see that there was a photo of baby Gaara.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaw, Gaara was so cute."
"Finally someone who thinks like me!"
"What do you mean cute, don't you see the beheaded bear that he's carrying? And what about his I'll-fucking-kill-you-and-chew-yoo-and-spit-you-out-and-no-ones-going-to-find-your-body look?"
"Details."
"Details? What about that fucking knife he's carrying? HUH? Are those details too?"
"Come on, he still has that look and you think he's not as bad as before."
Kankurou grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'stupid blind blondes' which won him a punch from both blondes in the room.
"Anyways," Temari glared at Kankurou who was nursing his black eye. "What would you like to eat Naru-chan?"
"Is it okay if- wait, NARU-CHAN?"
"Well, you kinda look like a girl." Temari shrugged.
"I don't look like a girl!"
"Yeah you do"
"No I don't"
"Yeah you do"
"Don't"
"Do"
"I DON'T LOOK LIKE A FREAKING GIRL GODDAMNIT!
"Come on, you look like a girl with an extremely flat chest…" Temari ignored Naruto's 'very manly' scream.
"Wait, that gives me an idea, Naruto, I own a coffee shop in the mall and right now I need a waiter, if you need a job you can work there. I pay 200 per hour."
"Awesome!...but, I have to ask my foster parents…"
"Its okay kid, It'll always be open for you."
"Thanks!" And while Naruto beamed up at her, Temari started thinking of different kind of clothes that would fit the blonde, mainly dresses.
"Want some ramen?"
"Huh?" Naruto looked at the redhead.
"Ramen?"
"Oh, yeah!"
"Here" Apparently the redhead had already made some while they were all talking.
"Thanks Gaara!"
After the blonde finished, they took him home, home being an extremely creepy looking mansion.
"Whoa, your house could scare the crap out of anyone, man"
"I know"
"who are your parents?"
"…Orochimaru and Kabuto Yakushi"
"…Orochimaru…?
"Yeah…well um bye see ya!" And with that the blonde got out the car. While he opened the door there was only one thing going through the sibling's minds.
'Orochimaru was arrested ten years ago for domestic violence…'
Yami: There it is. Now that I think about it, I may change this story from Humor to Drama 'cause I aint good with funny things.
Sasuke: Damn right.
Yami: Shut up.
Naruto: Ne, Yami why the hell did you make me short?
Yami: Because I can- =]
Naruto: You're evil.
Yami: Nope, I still have a long way to go.
I'M-THE-MAN-BITCH: Yo!
Yami: Alex! Man, I haven't seen you in like forever!
I'M-THE-MAN-BITCH: Aaaaw you missed me?
Yami: SHADDUP! Any way you know what? That scene when Kankurou tells Naruto about sex was extremely akward…
I'M-THE-MAN-BITCH: I know it was like the time I told YOU about sex….
Yami: And for that I shall loathe you forever
I'M-THE-MAN-YOU-BITCH: Come on, at least I didn't use the same method that I did for Ben
Yami: Thank god for that, really, poor, poor Ben…
I'M-THE-MAN-BITCH: Come on! It wasn't so bad
Yami: WASN'T SO BAD? YOU MADE HIM WATCH PORN NON STOP FOR THREE DAYS!
I'M-THE-MAN-BITCH: Oh, yeah *smirk*
Yami: I fail to see why you're my best friend…
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