Feel free to babble hun - I really enjoy reading your thoughts on the characters. I find myself always analysing their words and behaviour on the show (it's the psychologist in me, lol), but then I kinda throw caution to the wind with these fics, so hopefully I'm writing them true to character
Ronnie inwardly sighed, closing her eyes for a fraction of a second before snapping them open again. She didn't want to see that right now.
Jack remained seated, not attempting to leave her. He's right, he's always there for me. Always. And I've never been that to him. I've never stuck around long enough to help him.
"What're you doin' out here?" She heard him ask.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Why?" Ronnie shrugged, shifting her body so that she could look at Jack. "Roxy's been at that window for an hour," he told her, jerking his head in the direction of the Vic.
"Yeah," she breathed, not answering the implicit question that had laced his words. A still silence spread itself between the two ex-lovers like an unwanted presence. "I did come to see you after . . ." Ronnie suddenly blurted out.
"What?" Jack asked, surprised by her sudden admission.
"I er, after what happened in the Vic . . .with Max, I er went over to yours." She shook her head. "You weren't home . . ."
"You didn't knock."
Ronnie frowned, her brows knitting together. "How did you-?"
"I was in. . . I saw you standing there, debating with yourself whether or not to knock on the door and I . . . I wanted you to, but I wanted you to want that too."
The loss in Jack's voice cut through Ronnie's chest, tearing at her already shredded heart. Every time she breathed it was as though someone would take a cheese grater to her heart and sear through the flesh.
"I don't know why I couldn't . . ." She answered honestly, more honest than she'd ever been with him before.
Jack nodded his head. I do. I know. I know that I really hurt you when I said those things, and after what happened in the Vic, you were too wounded to deal with anyone else's pain but your own. You tried, sweetheart. I just . . . I wish you'd try harder.
Ronnie pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, her fingers kneading the skin, suddenly feeling lightheaded. For the past three weeks she had craved Jack's company, her body aching to just be next to him and now . . . now all she wanted to do was run. Her breathing became shallow and shaky.
"Ron? You okay?" Immediately she nodded. A frustrated sigh hissed from between Jack's parted lips. "Why won't you let anyone ever help you?"
Ronnie sucked in a lungful of air. "Because nobody can."