Chapter 7

"I've called you a lot of names over the years. One I never thought I'd be able to pin on you was 'coward'. Guess I was wrong"

Tony's words reverberated in McGee's head. They stung; he'd spent years working in Gibbs' team, proving that he wasn't a coward. But then, there were many different forms of cowardice. Just because he wasn't afraid of doing his job didn't make him unafraid in other aspects of his life.

Was he acting like a coward? Cutting his losses had seemed like the only solution, but all of a sudden he wasn't so sure.

Slowly, he got in his car and drove home.

McGee was wide awake. It was 4am and he'd tried everything he could think of to get some sleep. Even free writing hadn't helped- he hadn't gotten a single coherent sentence on paper. Tony's accusation of cowardice was driving him crazy. He'd honestly thought that leaving the MCRT was his only way out of an impossible situation. Now he had to admit to himself that yeah, he was acting spinelessly. It seemed like he'd dug himself an even bigger hole than the one he'd been stuck in before he submitted his transfer request. Now not only did he have problems working with Abby, but they were worse- his revelation to her the previous night had seen to that- Gibbs and Tony were both pissed with him as well!

He slumped down on the couch and covered his face with his hands. "Now what do I do?" he thought out loud. He didn't have an answer.

The next day passed uneventfully. It seemed the universe was smiling on the Navy and Marine personnel stationed around DC, as they still didn't have a new case. Even the cold cases they were working on were going nowhere. It was an awkward, uncomfortable day for McGee; neither Tony nor Gibbs was really speaking to him at the moment, and Ziva had clearly talked to Abby, judging by the looks she kept shooting him. Great, now he had a former assassin annoyed with him too.

Gibbs let them out early due to the lack of any real work being done. McGee cleared off his desk slowly, debating with himself whether it was a good idea to go and see Abby. He decided it was probably not a good idea, as much as he wanted to see her. Depressed, he waited for the rest of the team to clear the bullpen before he headed for the elevator. He didn't need another conversation like the one he'd had with Tony the night before.

He had two days left of his Vance-imposed deadline. What was he going to do?

Tony thought he'd use some of the extra free time they'd been given to go and see Abby. He detoured via the Caf-Pow machine on his way downstairs to her lab. She was still as listless as she had been the day before. Still no music, no pigtails, no makeup... all the hallmarks of a severely upset Abby.

She tried to act normally, talking to him at high speed about his weekend plans, but he could see through the facade. Finally he stopped her

"Abs, I know"

She cut off in mid sentence and gave him her best innocent look

"Know what, Tony?"

He rolled his eyes. "About McGee's transfer"

"Oh. Did he tell you?" her face fell, and her speech went back to normal speed

"Not exactly. He asked me about transfers the other day after his little drinking binge. I put two and two together. Tried to shake some sense into him yesterday, but I don't know if it worked or not- he's pretty much avoiding everyone right now"

"What'd you say to him?"

"Called him a coward, actually"

Instantly she fired up "Tony! How dare you say that to Tim? He's going through a really tough time right now and-"

He cut her off again

"Easy Abs, I was just trying to shake him up a bit and make him think twice about leaving"

"He's not a coward, Tony"

"I know that, Abby, I was just trying to change his headspace"

That was an interesting reaction, he thought to himself. He upset her this much and she's still defending him?

"Abs, I haven't wanted to bring this up but... Don't you think your reaction is a bit... Extreme? I mean, you didn't react this strongly when Vance split us all up. Are you feeling guilty? Because it's not your fault, you know. Same as it wasn't your fault when Mawher came after you or that crazy fan of McGee's"

"I know it's not my fault, Tony"

"So what is it that's upsetting you so much?" he pushed

She just looked at him

"Ok, well at least answer this. Would you be this upset if it was me or Ziva leaving?"

"Of course I would, Tony!" she replied straight away, but the words sounded hollow to his ears. He gave up pushing and left. Hopefully now he'd given both McGee and Abby something to think about.