A/N: Ok guys, this is a really short chapter I'm sorry, but I had to break it there. Hopefully I'll have another chapter up later today. Yay for days off! - F
Chapter 8
Even as she assured Tony that she would care just as much about him or Ziva leaving, a little pang of doubt hit Abby. Would she really? She'd known Tony a lot longer than McGee or Ziva, but the thought of him leaving... it made her sad, sure, but it wasn't the agonising grief she felt at the thought of losing McGee out of her life.
Well, of course it would be different, she rationalised. Tony and Ziva were like family; families went their separate ways. Tim was her best friend. You weren't supposed to lose your best friend. Especially not like this. It was the reason it hurt so much, that he'd choose to leave her. She'd told herself that so many times over the past few days that it was starting to sound as hollow as her assertion to Tony.
The thought occurred to her, why did she keep repeating that to herself? She grumbled under her breath as the unwanted thought cropped up again. She'd buried it many times in the last few days, unwilling to open the can of worms it invited. She tried to bury it again, but it wouldn't stay hidden.
Fine, she thought to herself, let's try the alternative. Sitting down at her desk, she forced herself to consider why Tim's defection was hurting her so much.
They'd shared so much over the past 6 years. Big things, like Kate's death, Tony's near death from the plague, Gibbs' retirement, and small things, like the thrill of cracking the last layer of encryption on a hinky computer, the little intuitive jump of thought that heralded a break in the case, Caf-Pows and late night movies on his couch. Was it just the things they'd shared that was making her feel like this?
She'd split up with him because he'd wanted more from her than she could give him. Was that still the case? She didn't have an answer for that question yet either, so she concentrated on exactly what it was that she would miss if Tim left. There were so many things.
She'd miss his little insecurities, that nervousness that was somehow so appealing, his enthusiasm for every new puzzle, the look he got on his face when he was concentrating, his presence in her lab- she'd never been able to work with another person, but with Tim it just clicked- the fact that he actually wanted to hear the explanation of how she'd worked something out, his intelligence, his grin that lit up his whole face, the way it felt when she hugged him, his cute little pouty lower lip... all these things made him her Timmy, and she loved all of them. She loved everything about him, even when he was driving her up the wall. The inescapable conclusion hit her like a ton of bricks.
"I love him" she whispered, then repeated louder
"I love Tim"
Why had she never realised this before? She couldn't stand the thought of him leaving because she was in love with him. She felt exhilarated; she stood up suddenly and snagged her jacket off its hook as she headed out of her lab. She needed to see Tim; she just hoped she wasn't too late.