Tank: *sighs wistfully*

Me: Since when do you sigh wistfully? And since when do I use the word 'wistfully'? Dammit! I need to stop.

Tank: I think I'm in love . . .

Me: Oh, no. Not you too. First, I start to loose JP in his work, now I'm loosing you to Skid! AH! I'm gonna die lonely with only a cat for company!

Tank: *snaps out his Skid induced trance when getting the chance to insult me in some way. Ass.* Not if you don't get off of fanfiction. You're up at all Godly hours of the night!

Me: Speaking of Godly, didn't Fang look hot in the previous chapter?

Tank: . . . I'm a guy, remember?

Skid: *appears on my out of nowhere (Ok, someone seriously needs to start answering that damn question: Where. Do. They. Come. From?)* AH! I know!

Tank: I'm losing my woman! To a goth!

Skid: One, sexist pig! Two, I still love you. And three, I thought he was emo.

Me: Eh. Emo is so overrated.

Disclaimer with de help of Skid: S: So . . . bored. M: I . . . know. I'm dying from fun deprivation! And this damn disclaimer isn't helping anything! S: Let's do something . . . M: Write, perhaps? S: Yes! Something fun. In simple words, we ain't owning nothing till JP caves.

Max POV

He f-king walked in on me. While I was changing. Thank God I still had my shorts on.

"What?" I snapped.

He said a quick, "Nothing." Before getting the Hell outta there. Man, aren't I surrounded by smart peoples?

I turned on the shower, stripped down, and got in, letting the hot water pound on my back.

What exactly had he seen? The second the door creaked open, my back was turned, but still . . .

My head started to hurt from all the thinking I was doing, so I stopped and ran a hand through my hair. I decided I was gonna pretend it didn't happen. I went for a run, came home, took a shower, and got dressed. Uniform . . . crap. I still have to wear that stupid skirt. Why does God hate me so? Why, God, WHY?

The water was decreasing in temperature and I sighed out a puff of air. I turned off the water and changed back into my running clothes. I wasn't going out in a towel or naked as a jaybird, so I'd have to deal with sweaty running clothes. Oh, the horror! The horror!

I walked out of the bath and on my way down the hall, knocked on Fang's door. "Showers free, dude."

He came out of his room just when I was at the end of the hall and walked to the bathroom without a single word. Must have come to the same conclusion as me.

I passed the kitchen, which had Jeb and Iggy in it.

"Max," Jeb said. "Prescriptions can be refilled."

"And pills can be flushed down toilets again," I told him and walked to my stairs.

I climbed the stairs and thought about the reason I was on those pills in the first place . . . ya know what, I don't even - wait. Yeah, I do.

Flashback

Brigid and I were on the playground at the elementary school, on the little ship type thing that had a slide going down it. Brigid was standing on the edge of the slide, and I was right beside her.

We were watching Iggy, who was on the swings, insisting that when he jumped off, he would fly. "You'll see!" he yelled and jumped off. He didn't fly, because he wasn't part bird, nor did he have superpowers. Dummy.

"Iggy!" I yelled. He groaned, and rolled over. I don't think arms are supposed to bend that way.

"You're brother is so stupid," Brigid said in her nasally tone.

"WHAT did you just say?" I asked, furious. Sure, I had called him a dummy, but that was my job as his twin. We had even had a conversation about it.

"You heard me," she said and flipped her hair behind her shoulder. Who knew six year olds had attitudes? "He just broke his arm, saying he would fly."

"You're gonna fly if you don't shut up," I said, venom lacing my words.

I got the satisfaction of seeing her wince. But that didn't last long. "Oh, I'm shaking in my flip-flops."

I had enough. I pushed her down the slide, and she screamed. She landed on her arm, and I was glad to see it was in a worse angle than Iggy's. I jumped off the ship and ran over to Iggy.

For the next month, I was picked on by all of the kinder-gardeners, even some of the first and second graders. They usually didn't leave my presence without something being broken. Then, after a month of getting into fights, Jeb put me on the "vitamins", which ended my violent tirade.

End Flashback

I chuckled at the memory. I was one badass little girl, that's for sure. And I'm still a badass teenager. I sighed and picked up the skirt and dress shirt. Took off my other clothes, and buttoned up the dress shirt, and pulled up the skirt. Ugh. This thing is getting on my nerves. I put on a gray sweatervest and rolled the dress shirt above my elbows. Put on a pair of brown and muddy pink gloves that stopped just aftermysecond knuckle that I had borrowed from Nudge with a braided dark sliver ring around my left index finger, and big, thick framed black glasses. And, of course, the combat boots. All and all, I looked pretty badass.

I did my hair, so it was sticking out in general directions, my bangs covering my left eye behind the glasses. I smirked into my reflection, and the girl smirked back. I brushed my teethand doody-da. I'm not gonna bore you with the boring stuff. Did I really just think that? God.

School. Thee most boring thing on the planet. What's even more boring is Mrs. Roz pr-o-nou-nces ev-er-ee le-tt-e-r. I hope how you can see how that could get annoying. Especially when you're in freaking English. Dammit, Roz, could you talk like a normal person for once?

And then the bell rang, I packed my stuff ASAP, and practically ran out of the class. Lunch was next. The one place that school wasn't boring. F: Hello, is this Max? M: Yes, and who is this? F: Oh, this is Food. Would you like to order a subscription of food lunchly? M: Why, yes, Food, I would very much like that. Ha ha. Aren't I hilarious?

I stuffed my books into the locker and replaced that with new ones. Sigh. The damn bag just keeps getting even heavier. Next I have PE, Algebra whatever, and art.

You'd think I liked art, but I don't. Ya know how art's supposed to be about expressing yourself and being free and not planning anything, just letting inspiration come to you? Yeah, well, that's not how Dean sees it. It's all 'Draw this' or 'Draw that.' He's actually the basketball coach but due to cut backs, he's also the art teacher, and we're supposed to call him 'Coach' but I call him Dean. I don't even know his real name, but Dean seems good enough. Bob is just so over done.

I waited in line, tray in hand for Food Lunchly when Lissa walked up to me. Oh, yay! Ya think she's gonna apologize and ask if we could be BFFFFF . . . Fs forever! Yeah, right. Like that's gonna happen. That's about as likely as me getting wings.

"Max," she stated sadly. I raised an eyebrow at her and put a Coke on my tray. "I wanted to apologize."

"Huh?" I was completely shocked. I almost choked on air. Alright, so maybe she didn't say the exact thing I had been thinking, but it's close enough. Maybe I'll have wings tomorrow morning.

She rolled her eyes and started to talk slowly, like I was the moron, "I . . wanted . . . to say . . . that I'm . . . sorry. I was really out of line . . ." she continued talking like I was listening, but really I was shaking the Coke behind my back. "So . . . do you accept?"

"Oh, Lissa!" I said in an over excited voice and a huge smile. "Of course." I dropped the smile. "Not." I opened the coke in her direction and the brown drink sprayed all over her white dress shirt. She looked down at her ruined shirt in horror, her mouth a perfect 'O' and her hands sprouting off to the sides.

"AH!" she screamed. "Maximum Ride, you'll pay for that!" And she stomped off. Ugh. Drama queen. Can't live with them, can't live without them. Oh, wait, you can!

I shrugged and put a Root Beer on my tray. I really wasn't in the mood for Coke anyway . . .

I paid for my lunch and went sit at the table with everyone else. It was off to the side, far away from other people. It's perfect for the claustrophobic kinda girl you know and love. Well, maybe not love, but still.

I sat down next to Ella, and Nudge was next to me. Iggy, Fang, and Sam on the other side. Sam was pretty cool. He was nice and kinda cute. But blonds aren't my type. I prefer guy's with dark hair, dark eyes, tanned skin, muscular and - wait. Did I just describe Fang? I started to blush furiously, and, unfortunetly, Ella noticed.

"Max? Are you blushing? Oh my gawd, she's blushing! Max doesn't blush!" She screeched. Yeah, I love Ella, she's like my sister. But her little mini rant didn't help anything and only made me blush harder.

"What?" Nudge practically screamed and looked at me. "AH! She is! I bet she was thinking about a guy! And speaking about guys, I can't believe homecoming is just two weeks away! This is so exciting! Max, who were you thinking about? Are you gonna ask him to Homecoming? Are ya? OH, ya know what this means, do ya, do ya, do ya? It means we get to go shopping! Ah! I'm excited all over again! I think I want a pink dress and-" she was cut off by my glare. I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could turn Mother Theresa into an axe murderer. Which I was about to become as red as the blood on that axe if she asked one more time who I was thinking about. If anyone asked me that, I might turn into Max the Axe murderer.

Iggy wiggled his eyebrows. "So . . . Max. Who were you thinking about?"

"Spongebob," I replied.

We all burst out laughing. Fang chuckled, but I guess that counts.

"Oh, and Nudge," I said, "I'm not going shopping."

"Yes, you are," she and Ella said, grinning wickedly.

Oh, let the torture begin.

Early Saturday Morning

Fang POV

I sat on the counter, eating a bowl of Reeses cereal. Iggy was on a weekend strike, saying, "You want food that bad, cook it yourself." And Jeb said we didn't want to burn the house down, and I agreed because I burn toast. When the toasters set on a minute. How, I ask you, HOW?

I heard a yawn and looked up. Max was stanging in the doorway, scratching her stomach. And she was still absolutely gorgeous. She had light blue shorts, a dark shirt withone shoulder completely exposed with a yellow square with what looked like two octopus tentacles going together and making a heart, with a little red heart in the middle. She had yellow and white striped furry socks, and he hair was a complete mess, yet she still looked hot. (A/N: This style belongs to Irene Flores, and the octopus thing to C.F.U.D.) How, I ask you, HOW?

I started to glare at my cereal, until Max chuckled. "Trying to be a cereal killer, Fang?"

I looked up and saw she was right next to me, opening the cabinet and taking out a bowl and and cereal. Reeses, I see. She has good taste.

"Yep, and you're next on my list of victims," I told her. She rolled her eyes and groggily poured her cereal, poured the milk, and thumped her way over to the table.

We ate in a comfortable silence until someone bursts through the doors and yelled, "Max, time to go!"

Max groaned ever so quietly (not) and Ella and Nudge made their way into the kitchen. "Hey, Max! Ready to go shopping?" Ella asked cheerfully.

She grunted as a reply.

"Hello, girls," Jeb said, not looking up from his paper.

"Hiya, Jeb!" Nudge said. Here we go. "I see you're reading the paper. My dad said these people got arrested because they were performing illegal expiriments on humans. That's so sick! The head scientist's name was Roland ter Borcth or something like that. Funny name. He thought it was a typo, but I looked it up, and he's real! He was supposed to be in a place called 'institutefor the incurables.' I wonder what it's like to be carzy, ya know, incurably-"

"I'm gonna be incurably crazy if you don't shut up," Max said.

Nudge shut up and stuck her tongue out at Max.

"Uh-huh, that's nice, Nudge," Jeb said, not evenlooking up from his paper. Wonder if he's reading some Old Western tale with people who had mustaches were considered cool.

"Max!" Ella yelled in outrage. "You're not even dressed yet!"

"No, I'm not," Max said. "I'm naked as a baby."

I blushed a little. Thanks for that, Max. Seriously. I needed that picture in my brain to taunt me. The picture I would never see.

Max POV

"I meant in clothes that you didn't sleep in, Max," Ella said.

I sighed. "Guess I could put on some jeans and a shirt."

Ella smiled and said, "You have five minutes or we're leaving without you."

"Ah! I'm gonna die if you leave for the mall without me!"

She giggled. "Go and get dressed."

I sighed and dumped my bowl into the sink. "Oh, alright."

I was in my room and I dressed in a long sleeve blue hooded shirt with light blue letters that said 'Airborn' on it, the letters big so it covered most of the shirt. The hood was laced together at the top with a black shoelace type thing and on the sleeves were holes for my pinky fingers and thumbs. I had black skinny jeans and black converse with blue laces. My hair was spiked, surprise, surprise, and I had my dark silver locket. I barely ever do anything with out it, unless I'm swimming.

I went down the stairs and said, "Let's get this over with already."

We got into my truck and were on the highway to Hell.

"How 'bout this?" Nudge asked, holding up a blue dress.

"No."

"This?" Ella held up a purple dress.

I shook my head.

This had been going on for ages. They'd ask my opinion, I'd say no, nope, Hell no, no way in Hell, and even if I had wings and could fly at three hundred and fifty mi/ph would I ever wear that dress. Ever.

Ella and Nudge had already gotten their dresses already. Ella had gotten a pink dress with little bead bitterflies on it in purple, with purple shoes and some accessories. The dress stopped a few inches before the knee.

Nudge had gotten a strapless dress that started as orange, and faded to yellow that looked like the sunset, that went to the knee and orange heels that matched the top of the dress. Accessories, etc. etc. It really matched her skin tone.

I was the only one left. I was about to say it was hopeless and that I wasn't going, which I really didn't want to, until Ella popped up with the perfect dress.

"This?"

"Hell ya."

"Ya know what this means . . . " Nudge trailed off, and I knew exactly what she meant. We were going to The Feminine Church. Victoria's Secret.

I don't get why they call it that. It's not much of a secret. And in case you didn't know, they sell underwear!

Shh . . . it's a secret, Confucius Max said.

Did you now hear anything I just said?

No, I heard all of it. I just have selective hearing.

Or is it selective understanding when your brain decides it doesn't get it?

My brain is your brain, Maxie.

Touche, Confucius, Touche.

I hadn't noticed we were at the horrid place already. Oh, pink, how I hate you so . . .

"C'mon, Max!" Ella grabbed my hand and dragged me into the store.

I groaned as they dragged me through the underwear and bras until we were at the strapless. I picked a bra at random, and looked at it. Pink. Bleh. Another, same results. Another, same results. AH! When will the torture end? Finally, finally, I picked a black one with skulls on it, it looked like it would fit, and bought it.

"Let's get out of here," I said and half dragged half walked the girls out.

Angel POV

I sat on the roof of the orphanage and looked up at the stars. I was only five years old. I don't even remembered how I had gotten here. All I remember is some big buys with guns took me from Max.

Max . . . I don't blame Max. They would have killed her if she had tried to save me. I'm absolutely positive she had called the cops. She wouldn't have just left me like that.

I knew I wasn't in Arizona any more. I was in Washington. But I also knew I'd be going to Arizona soon. A new foster home, in some small city in Arizona. Where my family was. Where Max was. Where my mother was. My mother was Max. As mush of a mother she could be when my real mom left.

I clutched my locket in my hand. It went to my ribs, but would probably get smaller as I grew. I had it wrapped around my neck three times, so it wouldn't get caught on anything and break.

A picture of me as a baby and Max was in the locket, and that was all I cared about. They could steal my socks, my clothes, my hair stuff. But if they touched the locket, they were dead. Or close. They already had an example made from Tony. He'd been in the hospital for several weeks. And he was two years older than me.

I felt the tears streaming down my face and I wiped them away with the back of my hand. I stared up at the moon, hoping against hope that I was close to Max when I got in Arizona.

"I love you, Max."

Me: *stares up at the ceiling trying to make a face out of the cottage cheeseyness of it*

Skid: *doing the same as me*

Tank: What are you doind?

Me: Look above.

Tank: *looks above* Oh, so you're staring at the ceiling?

Me: I meant look above on the writing thingy majig.

Tank: Oh. *looks above at the writing thingy majig* You two are insane.

Skid: And that's why you love us.

Tank: Well, I love you, and her I could live without.

Me: *sits up straight* Hey! Don't make me send Vlad after you! He's probably never tasted Avian-Human blood before.

Vlad: *salavates*

Tank: AH! Down boy!

Vlad: Oh, fine. And I was just kidding.

Me: I can't believe the New Vladimir Todd book is coming out soon! I'm so excited!

Skid: Huh?

Me: If you're gonna be my friend, you have catch up on you're reading, humming bird.

I haven't given you ages yet. Sorry.:

Max, Iggy, Fang: 16. From oldest to youngest.

Nudge, Ella: 15

Gazzy: 12

Angel: 8

Jeb: Old

- Sanity