Claire stands there quietly, afraid to ask the question on her mind.
"He's so precious," finally words escape her mouth.
"He's a miracle," Wilhelmina admits.
"How often do you come here?"
"Everyday," she admits.
"Oh," Claire nods.
"At first I didn't want to come here at all, it was too much."
"Because he was so fragile?"
"Because it is my fault."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing," she lies.
"How is this your fault?"
"I didn't know."
"Didn't know what?"
"I didn't know, until it was too late."
"What are you talking about?"
"I didn't find out until after I left."
Claire doesn't say anything. "Why aren't you interrogating me?" Wilhelmina questions.
"Because I don't know if I'm ready to hear the truth," Claire admits.
Wilhelmina very carefully gets out of the chair. "Sit down," she demands.
Claire reluctantly takes a seat in the rocking chair. Wilhelmina cautiously places the lethargic infant against Claire's chest. Claire clings to the little boy.
"I died," Wilhelmina admits.
"What?"
"I flat-lined," she answers.
"When?"
"The day he was born, I flat-lined. It took them nearly two minutes to revive me."
"I don't understand."
"It's my fault he's here. If I had..."
"If you had what?"
"Done things differently, if I had known then maybe..."
"Maybe what?"
June 2nd :
She sits in a chair waiting for the doctor to return with her lab results. She goes through her mailbox, and deletes old text messages. There is a knock on the door, and the doctor steps in with a manilla folder.
"What's wrong with me?"
"You're going to be fine."
"It's psychosomatic isn't it?"
"No, it's real."
"I'm not just imagining it?"
"No."
"So what's wrong with me? Is it something that can be fixed? Can you give me a pill, or a shot, or something?"
"I can't give you a pill, or a shot, but it will stop if you just give it time."
"Time? That's your cure? I don't have time to sit around and wait."
"It's not something that needs to be cured."
"So what's wrong with me?"
"You're perfectly fine."
"So then why do I feel..."
He cuts her off, "Calm down. It's good news."
"Good news? How?"
"Congratulations, you're pregnant."
"You need to do the test again, because that is one thing that I am most definitely not."
"I'm certain, you're pregnant."
"There's got to be some sort of mistake, I can't be pregnant."
"Why can't you be pregnant?"
"I'm too old."
"I assure you, you most definitely are pregnant."
"You're wrong. I have a hostile womb."
"Medically, that doesn't amount to much."
"I can't be pregnant."
"Nothing you say is going to change the fact that you are pregnant."
End of Flashback
"I tried my best, but it wasn't good enough, and now he's here."
"You tried your best?"
"I spent weeks in a hospital trying to prevent him from arriving too early, but I couldn't. My blood pressure sky-rocketed, and they had to deliver him via emergency c-section."
Claire says nothing, she just looks at the tiny baby she's holding.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. Do you know how hard it is to burp a baby who is that small?"
Claire shakes her head.
"You have to hold them against the palm of your hand because they're too small to be held over your shoulder. Not that it matters, because he spits everything up, anyway. If he doesn't start keeping some of it down they're going to have to re-insert his feeding tube."
"What was the call about earlier this week?"
"He caught something last week, and it went into his kidney's. They gave him another round of antibiotics, he's fine now."
"You didn't have to come back," Claire reminds her.
"I did if I wanted to keep him here."
"Why didn't you tell me about all of this?"
"I didn't tell anyone. I don't know where to start."
"From the beginning."
"It's not something that just comes up in casual conversation."
"You should have told me."
"I couldn't."
"Why not?"
"You've never been my adversary, and I can't handle your criticism right now. I've never felt so, completely, drained in my entire life. I don't sleep, at all. I lie awake in bed all night, just wondering if he's ok. I go to bed praying that I won't get a phone call in the middle of the night telling me that something's wrong. Work is the only thing that is keeping from losing my mind right now. It's the only time that I can think about anything but him."
"That's it? That's why you didn't want to tell me?"
"I didn't want you to run off and tell Daniel, but at this point I don't really care anymore."
"Why would I tell Daniel? Your personal business, is just that."
"It's not just my personal business, though. Daniel has every right to know."
"He has every right to know? What do you mean? I thought that you left to get away from him..."
"A lot of good that did. There are some things you just can't run away from. I tried to run away, to pretend that nothing ever happened between us, but there's no way for me to deny it now. I have a daily reminder," she stares at the little boy Claire is holding.
Suddenly it clicks, the lightbulb in Claire's head goes off. "He's yours... and Daniel's."
"Your grandson," she adds with undertones of disgust.
Claire re-exams the tiny infant. "My grandson," she repeats very quietly.