disclaimer: not mine
Due to the adrenalin of the morning and the fact she was still weakened by the surgery, Mac was sleeping soundly when Harm arrived twenty five minutes later. Ushered into the living room by Harriet, Harm watched Mac for a few minutes.
"She's really okay, Harm," Harriet said, rubbing his back. "I promise."
Not wanting to wake her, Harm just nodded before following Harriet into the kitchen.
"What would you like for lunch?" Harriet asked. "And I'm not taking 'nothing' for an answer."
With Harm not really thinking about food at all, Harriet made him two salad sandwiches and poured him a glass of juice. Sitting next to him with her own lunch, Harriet patted his arm.
"I'm so sorry I didn't realise earlier that you were looking for Mac, you must have been frantic," she said quietly.
"Would have been better for my nerves, but it's not your fault," he replied with a quick smile.
'Can I get you something else?" Harriet asked when Harm had made no attempt to eat.
"No, thanks, Harriet," he said, picking up half a sandwich. "This is fine...I guess I'm just a little preoccupied."
"Anything you want to talk about?" she said, glancing at the doorway.
Harm looked at Harriet, his eyes glistening with tears; he took a deep breath and then shrugged.
"Harm, come on," she said gently, "Let me help you...help both of you..."
"How do I help her?" he whispered hoarsely. "I just don't...can't...she seems so sad every time she looks at me..."
"Maybe she's just reflecting the sadness she sees in your eyes," Harriet said, taking his hand in hers.
"Can't help it...I look at her and my heart breaks...she's been through so much in her life ... she doesn't deserve this," he said, biting down on his lower lip, his head down.
"No, she doesn't," she agreed. "No one deserves it."
Harm's head shot up. "Oh, Harriet, I didn't mean to imply anyone did...just that..."
"I know, I know," she said squeezing his hand. "I didn't take it personally. Just so you know though, Mac's doing okay. She told me she had a bad morning and was really upset but, in the whole scheme of things, she's doing okay."
After a short silence, Harm looked at Harriet. "I'm not," he admitted quietly. "You know, I went online and asked how I can help her and got various advice including holding her, giving her space, talking to her, allowing silence, talking to her about it, waiting for her to talk to me...by the end I was even more confused...and it was all about her...and I know it should be...but that morning..." Harm's voice trailed as he shook his head.
"Keep going," Harriet soothed, knowing he needed someone to talk this through with.
"There was so much blood, Harriet, and she wouldn't wake up...and ...and..." he stammered as his tears rolled down his cheeks. "I could save her from the fires but I thought I'd lost her in my own bed."
Harriet stood and hugged him to her, caressing his head as she tried to pull herself together, imagining the horror he must have felt finding Mac in the state she was in.
Twenty minutes later there was stirring from the living room and Harm made his way across to his soon-to-be wife. Caressing her face, Harm crouched down by the sofa and watched as Mac's eyes fluttered opened.
"Hey, gorgeous," he whispered, fighting his emotions.
"Hey, Harm," she said with a smile. "Did I fall asleep?"
"Yeah," he said, raking his fingers through her hair. "How are you feeling?"
"Sleepy," she said with a smile.
Harm reached over and kissed her nose. "Ready for me to take you home?"
"Where am I?" she asked before a quick look over his shoulder revealed the truth. "Oh, yeah." And then it dawned on her. "Why are you here? It's only 1420."
Trying to save Harm from more pain than he was already experiencing, Harriet came in.
"I called him," she said, bringing some lunch in for Mac. "And he came over and had lunch with me while you slept; now it's your turn."
"Great, I'm feeling hungry," she said as Harm helped her sit up. "Sorry, I wasn't awake to join you."
"That's alright," Harm said, sitting alongside her. "Harriet was good company," he added, throwing her a grateful smile.
Later that evening, Harm and Mac were curled up on her sofa, covered with a blanket and watching a space documentary. Interested in the doco but feeling weary, Harm kept drifting off as Mac sighed contentedly against his chest. Concerned about her fiancé since she opened her eyes at the Roberts' that afternoon, Mac had tried to steer the conversation towards him and his feelings all evening but it hadn't been that successful. Still, she hadn't given up altogether, just waiting for the right opportunity.
That opportunity came an hour later when his mother called from Quebec.
"How's Canada treating you?" he asked, rubbing Mac's back through the blanket.
"Just wonderful, Harm," Trish enthused. "It's been fabulous seeing Monica again," she said, speaking of her college friend, now resident in Quebec, a friend she hadn't seen in nearly two decades. Frank had business in Quebec and Trish tagged along, not wanting to miss the opportunity to catch up with her dear friend. It had been ten great days of friends, fun, fine food and sightseeing for Trish and she was in her element. Now, they were due to fly home and had taken the opportunity to call Harm, something she had neglected during her time in Canada.
"So, how are things with you and Sarah?" she asked, after relaying all her information.
"Okay," he said, his heart beating a little faster.
"Harmon?" Trish questioned. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," he replied quickly.
"Tell her," Mac whispered, one hand rubbing his chest. "Tell her."
"Tell me what?" Trish said, anxiously. "Harm, what's going on?"
"Um...well, last week," he started hesitantly. "Last week, Mac and I had a bit of a problem...actually, it wasn't a bit of a problem...it was a...a..."
"Just tell her, sweetheart," Mac said sitting up. "Would it be easier if I went into the bedroom?" Harm didn't reply so Mac got up and kissed his head before leaving him to speak to his mother.
"Harmon, you are worrying me. What happened?" she asked. "Did you have a fight? Did you break up? Did you postpone the wedding? Did you..."
"Mac had an ectopic pregnancy..." he blurted out. "And I thought she was dead in our bed."
Less than twelve hours later, Trish and Frank we're in DC knocking at Mac's door unannounced.
With Harm at work due to Mac's insistence at some sort of normality, Mac opened the door and was loving embraced by her future parents-in-law. Over the lunch Frank went out to collect from a nearby deli, Mac explained the details Harm may have left out and truthfully told them that while she was doing okay, she wasn't all that sure about Harm.
On Trish's instruction, Mac called Harm at work to find out what time she should expect him but didn't let on that his parents were there. Upon hearing it would be after six, Trish sent Mac to bed while she organised their dinner and while Mac wasn't all that tired, she realised many naps and good eating were going to be the keys to a full recovery.
With Mac in bed, Trish decided on a menu for the evening before dispatching Frank to pick up supplies. Once Frank departed, Trish set about cleaning the apartment thoroughly, doing all but Mac's bedroom and the bathroom as that would have entailed entering the bedroom and she didn't want to wake her. Knowing she couldn't vacuum, Trish used a dustpan and brush on the floors and mopped the kitchen floor.
By the time Harm returned the apartment was filled with the delicious aroma of his mother's spaghetti marinara. Unlocking the door and letting himself in, he found Frank asleep in the armchair, the daily newspaper spread over his chest. Heading straight to the kitchen, he found his mother peeking into the oven to check on the garlic bread.
"Hey, mom," he said quietly, crossing the room to her. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Where did you expect me to be, dear?" she asked embracing her son.
"On your way home to La Jolla," he replied, holding her a little longer than usual.
"After yesterday's news? I don't think so," she said with a small laugh. "And before you protest you only said us coming wasn't necessary, you didn't say not too."
Harm smiled; his mother had a point.
"I'm glad you're here," he said, hugging her once more. "Where's Mac?"
"Asleep," Trish said as she looked at her watch. "But dinner's ready and I did say I would wake her for it, so perhaps you'd like to wash up and wake her gently."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, it would be his pleasure.
Opening the bedroom door, he watched as Mac's eyes opened and tried to focus.
"Harm?" she said, rubbing her eyes. "Is it that time already?"
"It is, gorgeous," he replied, moving over to sit on the bed in front of her. "Hello," he whispered, kissing her gently.
"Hello," she replied, pushing up for another kiss.
"Your parents are here," she said and Harm smiled.
"Yes, I know, I saw them," he said, smoothing down her hair. "Dinner's ready."
"Great," she enthused. "I love your mom's cooking.
Five minutes later, when Harm had changed and washed up, they sat around the dining table as Trish dished up huge steaming bowls of her famous spaghetti marinara.
"Smells wonderful, Trish," Mac said, inhaling deeply.
"It's one of Harm's favourites," she said, glad to at least be able to provide a little TLC for her boy.
"You spoil us, mom," he said, picking up his fork.
"You deserve spoiling," she said as she passed by them both, kissing his head as she did.
Harm smiled at his mom gratefully and Mac reached across and squeezed his thigh. Maybe things were starting to look up.
After dinner, the conversation was light and breezy. Frank and Trish were seated on the sofa while Harm sat in the armchair and Mac sat on his lap, curled into him. They talked about the wedding plans, the honeymoon, the new house they were buying– all the positive things which were happening in their lives. When Harm yawned once too often for his mother's liking she stood up and announced it was time she and Frank got going to their hotel so they could all get a good night's sleep.
The following day, Harm went to work, Frank made use of his time in the country's capital to renew a few business contacts and Trish and Mac pottered around the apartment. Nearing lunchtime, Mac suggested they go to Langford's for lunch and Trish readily agreed. After a delightful lunch, Mac fell quiet over coffee and Trish thought maybe the walk and the food had all been a bit too much.
"No, no," Mac reassured her when she voiced her concern. "I was thinking."
"Anything I can help you with?" Trish asked, putting down her cup.
"Um...I want to ask you a favour but I don't know if it's appropriate," Mac finally said.
"Sweetheart," Trish said, reaching for Mac's hand. "Please ask."
"A couple of weeks ago I found the perfect wedding dress and ... well, I figured I was alright doing this without a mom, god knows, I've lived most of my life without a positive mom influence...but I looked at the dress and thought of you...and ..." her voice trailed as she lost track of what she was trying to say.
"Are you saying you'd like me to come and look at the dress with you?" Trish asked hopefully.
"Yes, I am," Mac said quickly. "I'm just not as articulate as you."
"I'd be honoured, Sarah," Trish said squeezing Mac's hand. "Very honoured."
Standing in the middle of Maxim's Gowns, Trish was in tears the moment Mac picked the dress she wanted from the rail. It was a simple, elegant gown which would show off Mac's figure beautifully.
"You like it?" Mac asked, seeing her mother-in-law –to-be's tears.
"It's gorgeous, Sarah," she said. "Just perfect for you."
"Would you like to try it on, ma'am?" the sales associate asked.
Mac looked to Trish and Trish nodded.
"I would," Mac replied.
While Trish sat in the change room lounge, Mac disappeared into the large change room and stripped off. As she did she caught sight of the dressings on her stomach and stopped. Was now the time to be thinking of wedding dresses?
"Ma'am," said the sales associate when Mac had been in there ten minutes. "Do you need some help?"
"I'll be out in a minute," Mac said taking a deep breath.
Slipping the dress on, Mac pulled up the zipper as high as she could manage before standing in front of the mirror. This dress was perfect. Pulling the curtain back she walked out and stood on the box provided as Trish stood.
"You look amazing, Sarah," she said, wiping at her eyes. "It is such a beautiful dress..."
Walking around Mac, Trish inspected it closely while smoothing it down in places and helping it settle properly. After ensuring the dress was perfect, she finally looked up at Mac's face.
"What do you think, sweetheart?" she asked.
"I love it," Mac said confidently. "I really love it."
"Does that mean you are going to take it?" the associate asked.
"Yes," Mac and Trish answered in unison. "Can I leave a deposit on it today?" Mac added.
Returning to the change room, Mac carefully pulled off the dress before handing it to the waiting associate. Pulling on her jeans, Mac was once more caught up with her surgery wounds. Meanwhile, Trish had handed over her credit card to the associate and asked her to put the full charge on it.
If Mac wanted this dress then she would have it.
With the transaction finalised, Trish waited for the dress to be encased in the gown bag. Realising Mac had been a while; she walked over to the change room and pulled back the curtain slightly. Catching sight of Mac sitting on the small velvet stool looking at herself in the mirror with one hand on her stomach and tears streaming down her cheeks, Trish knew exactly what the younger woman was thinking.
"You, my sweet Sarah, will make the most amazing bride," she said, brushing away Mac's tears. "And you will also make the most amazing mom when the time's right," she added, kissing her head.
Looking up, Mac could only manage two words. "It hurts."
Knowing it was emotional pain Mac was referring to; Trish quickly embraced her and held her close. "I know, honey, I know."