Author's Note: Sorry this chapter took so long for me to finish! It's been a crazy past few weeks here; and I've also been crazy in love with my other story Something There. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the chapter! I'm starting the next soon! :D Please review, they always make me smile.
"You've been a little tense lately. Is everything okay?" Caden asked, removing his reading glasses from his face. He peered up at Hermione with curious eyes. He sat only inches from her, across the table, but Hermione had forgotten his very presence. She gave him weak smile, and lifted her teacup to her lips.
"Been busy, I suppose." She replied shortly. It had been a few days shy of a week since Hermione ruffled through Ron's belongings and understood exactly why curiosity killed the cat. Her mind was filled with what if's, why not's, and how so's. The timing of these questions was purely comical, although Hermione was not laughing.
She felt horrible. If Caden only knew the thoughts that kept her busy. Perhaps he should… She thought suddenly. Looking up from her tea, she saw him nodding his head, his eyes trailing back to the newspaper. He seemed content, and assumed Hermione was too. Then again, when had she really given him anything to doubt? She was careful with her emotions around Caden, a task that was proved to be difficult around others.
The water between them was rarely rocked. If it ever did, she would quickly find a way to smooth over the tides before bigger problems could develop. Everything was fine… always.
"I'm meeting Harry for lunch today. Will you be at the office?" She probed, trying to feel any amount of tension between them. He could be as upset and doubtful as she is, but only better at hiding it. Men seem to be able to avoid their feelings much more easily than women, this she observed over years with two male best friends. But her theory was quickly fading as his comfortable demeanor continued.
"Of course, I was hoping to catch a bite to eat with you two, but there's a lot of work to be done. I have mountains of paper work to get through by the wedding." He smiled, as if the thought of the wedding just made his morning a little brighter. Hermione instantly felt her insides squirm.
"There will be plenty of other opportunities. Harry's quite a bore too, you know." She added with a nervous laugh.
"The Boy Who Lived, what a boring life he must lead." Caden chuckled along with Hermione. She was thankful he couldn't see past her laugh. In truth, she needed this time with Harry to talk through some very delicate issues weaving their way through her mind.
Hermione stood slowly, bringing her teacup with her. "I suppose I should be going. I need to run to Dervish and Banges before work. See you tonight." She stated, rather than asked.
"Actually, I had an idea to run past you." Caden said as Hermione begun to pull on her coat. "I know we both agreed not to have any sort of party before the wedding, but I've come across a few rare items." Hermione raised her eyebrows skeptically. "Five tickets to the Puddlemere United versus Wimbourne Wasps game. It's supposed to be the sporting event of the year." His excitement was evident as his eyes light up and a grin grew across his face.
For a moment, Hermione wondered why he would ever think she would want to go to a Quidditch game, and then she remembered. He has no idea she hates the sport. He has no idea she hates brooms and bludgers, nor does he have any idea she can't stand the thought of flying. Now could be a good time to explain that fact, but it's a bit late for that. And he does love thinking she likes Quidditch.
"For a pre-wedding party?" She asks. Her voice is hesitant, but she tries not to falter. "I-I don't think that will work." Caden looks stunned for a moment, as Hermione does her best to find a good excuse. "It's just Ginny has already begun to plan a bachelorette kind of party for me."
"A party, but we agreed that wasn't happening… Hermione I hardly know anyone from here." Caden half scolded. She, of course, knew the fact he was playing on, but it wasn't exactly true.
"You could invite some men from work. And Harry, I'm sure he would love to see that match. If I cancel, Ginny will be crushed." This would be true, if Ginny was planning a party, Hermione thought, trying to brush aside the guilt she was beginning to feel.
He frowned in her direction. "You're telling me you want me to have a bachelor party?" He raised his eyebrow slightly, waiting for a response.
"I would be okay if you spent a night with the guys watching some Quidditch…" Hermione started.
"It's not just some Quidditch, Hermione." He sounded perplexed. His devotion to the game, for a moment, reminded Hermione of Ron, but she squashed that thought quickly.
She rolled her eyes, "Sorry. But yes, go to the match. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time." For the first time, Hermione thought she saw concern filter across Caden's face. Being unsure of what this concern was directed towards, Hermione chose to ignore it. There was no need to shed light on new problems.
Before he could say anything, she waved to him with a smile and apparated.
Harry looked at the menu, knowing that he wouldn't understand anything he read. It was Hermione's turn to pick out the restaurant, and she loves French food. However, when he peered over the top of the menu in her direction he saw an unusual sight. Her eyes sat stationary on the page, they were full of something much different from her normal excitement. Worry, or was it fear?
"Any idea what you'd like?" Harry asked hesitantly. Her eyes grew wide when he spoke, telling him that she had indeed been in her own world. Yes, something was definitely bothering her.
She quickly composed herself again and smiled. "The usual, I suppose." A few moments later, the waiter came with a bright grin to take their orders. After he left, silence engulfed them, another odd occurance.
"So…" Harry started.
"Do you remember when I was on the Prophet with Kingsley?" Hermione interrupted quietly, and then quickly added, "It was for, S.P.E.W."
Harry nodded with an inquisitive look in his eyes. "Yes, I think so."
"You wouldn't happen to have a copy of that would you?" Hermione asked. After seeing the confusion fill his bright green eyes, she tentatively picked up her water glass and took a sip.
"Should I?" He asked slowly.
"I was just curious. I was reminded of it, and I suppose I wanted to take a look at my glory days." She shrugged and laughed nervously. "It's been a while since I did anything worthwhile."
Harry shook his head, "You have incredibly high standards for yourself. You've done more worthwhile things in three years than many can do in a lifetime. I'm sure you have much more brilliance left to spread. It's what you were made for." Hermione flushed a little at his words. He hoped she believed him.
"Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck. I don't feel as…motivated or pushed as I did back in Hogwarts. It's almost as if I've forgotten how to be me." Hermione confessed in a whisper. Harry was taken aback by the abruptness of her concern. She was only 20 after all, how could anyone feel as though they've done all they could?
"I catch myself not being me at times too." Harry tried. He swallowed loudly unsure how to continue. "We're adults now, we have to pick and choose what we want out of life. Sometimes the little things from back in school don't seem as important. But you're still you, Hermione. You're about to marry a great man, are in the middle of your werewolf rights push; you've got a lot going for you."
Hermione laughed as he said these last words. "Thank you, Dr. Harry. Hearing you say all of that makes me feel worse. I shouldn't be worried, besides everyone lies a little, right?"
"Lies?" He stumbled, "Who's lying?"
"Me. This morning, well most of Caden and my relationship really…" Hermione trailed off, leaving Harry completely baffled. She then adds, "He wanted me to go to a Quidditch game." As if that clears everything up.
"You hate Quidditch. I was surprised you ever went to the Tornadoes game."
"I know, but he doesn't. I feel like I've made myself a picture perfect fiancée for him. I tiptoe around his annoying habits, when truth be told, I can't stand some of the things he does. Like telling my family, I'm moving to America? Or planning a Quidditch gathering without my input." She says this all in a rush, as if the thoughts come into her mind at too great of speed to process completely.
"You could tell him. Stop lying."
Hermione looked at Harry sweetly, trying not to get frustrated with his statement of the obvious. "I tried today, which ended in me lying again, to smooth things over. Which by the way, I need Ginny to throw me a bachelorette party, in 5 days. I hope that's not too short notice."
Harry chuckled, just as the waiter was setting his plate in front of him. "She's been planning it for weeks. Pick the date and time, and you'll be golden."
Hermione eyes grew wide. "I told her not to!" She flustered.
"But now aren't you glad she did?" Harry grinned for a moment, and then his face grew stony. "In all honesty, you can't marry a man who hardly knows you, Hermione. You should talk to him. Stop feeling bad for not being the person he wants you to be. He's not going to love you any less because you can't stand Quidditch."
She took a deep breath, and began twirling her fork in her food. "He loves that I love Quidditch." She stated, flatly.
"But you don't. Stop being something you're not. My best friend is wonderful just the way she is." Harry watched as Hermione got lost in her thoughts again. The more he sees, the more he believes Ron's right. Perhaps Hermione is better off without Caden. He's a good man on paper, but maybe that's all he'll ever be.