Trials of the Heart
Chapter 3 - What are friends for?
It wasn't how he had expected to find her.
Sprawled across the corridor outside ICU sobbing her eyes out her beautiful but now horrifically dirty wedding dress spread out around her like some sort of broken fairytale princess. He fist was clasped around her broken tiara so tightly her knuckles had turned white and blood could be seen bubbling between her fingers.
She didn't even acknowledge his presence until he sat down next to her and brushed a strand of hair from her tear stained face.
"Oh Princess." he said sadly "Not quite the day you planned huh?"
She didn't respond at first.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked
"No." She mumbled
"Ok." He nodded as she pushed herself up into a seated position and collapsed against the wall finally realising the pieces of tiara so that it clattered to the floor.
"Here let me look at that." he said reaching out his hand to take hers
"Your not a doctor any more Tobes." She pointed out her voice emotionless
"Oh I know but still…" he shrugged
Ruth let him examine her palm, it wasn't a very deep wound but her entire hand was blood stained, like a paper cut, small but bloody. If it had been a wound she was treating in the ED it would have been classed as superficial but blood was anything but. It was like Jay pushing her away, the simple wound of his rejection was small but the thoughts it triggered were gradually becoming more and more unrealistic, it was a dangerous chain.
"Oh Ruthie…" he started
"Don't." She snapped back bitterly "Don't call me that."
"Ok." he nodded a little put back at her tone
"Sorry I didn't mean to snap, that was my dad's pet name for me and I hate it." She admitted with a sigh
"Sorry." He mumbled scratching at his head
She shrugged
"Can we get out of here for a bit?" Ruth asked
"Sure." Toby agreed "Where do you want to go?"
"I know the place." She said standing up and grabbing Toby's hand with her non-blood stained one and leading him up the nearest flight of stairs
"I thought you said.." Toby started as she pushed open the door onto the roof.
"Away from the wards, away from the hospital atmosphere." Ruth explained as she stepped up on a ledge beaming "Its nice to feel free!"
"Ruth!" Toby said worriedly "What are you doing?"
"Oh live a little Toby!" She laughed spinning around her wedding dress blowing around her
"Ruth get down…" Toby warned "Its incredibly dangerous!"
"No!" Ruth laughed running down the edge
"This isn't funny Ruth! Do you want Jay to have two people to visit in ICU?" Toby pointed out
"Don't talk about him, not right now." She warned swirling around
He grabbed the back of the dress and pulled her off into his strong arms and she burst out in tears sobbing into his shoulder.
All the Joy,
All the frustration,
All the hurt,
All the pain.
Every feeling Ruth had experienced during the last six hours came pouring out and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
-
Ruth kissed Toby good bye on the cheek outside the on call room. He lent over and slipped her a twenty pound note she nodded gratefully as she realised how perceptive her former colleague could be at times. She had left Jess with River for a good hour and a half now. Slipping inside she found the nurse reading a book and River sleeping soundly.
"Are you ok?" Jess asked she entered bleary eyed, make up ruined, in a dirty dress and with a bloody hand.
"Yes, I think I best get her home." Ruth replied making it clear to the nurse that she was not going to discuss anything with her.
"Well let me know if you need any help ok? I know some good child minders and whenever I'm off work I'm always looking after my own little rabble so don't hesitate to get in touch." She offered in a friendly voice.
"Thanks." Ruth nodded
"I'll leave you too it." Jess nodded slipping out of the room knowing she was highly unlikely to get much more off the young doctor.
Ruth watched the door click shut before she sat down on the edge of the bed.
"River?" She shook the child gently
"Mmhmm?" River mumbled slightly
"Hey sweetie you need to get up so we can go home." Ruth told her gently putting her own feelings aside and focusing on the child in front of her.
River sat up looking around herself obviously having forgotten where she was. She took one look at Ruth's dress and burst into tears.
"Hey don't cry on me!" Ruth said jokily puling the little girl close "Your Nan is doing better she's stable." Ruth didn't know it for a fact but if she was in an induced coma then that was her likely condition.
"Really?" River asked
"Yes, they've had to let her sleep for little awhile so that her poorly heart can get better but in a few weeks she will be woken up and feeling much better." Ruth explained in the simplest way possible "No lets get you home hey? Millie needs feeding."
"Ok." River agreed looking a little more cheerful
Ruth took her hand and lead her through the hospital. The little girl wanted to look at everything, Ruth could see her neck craning around every corner as they passed but she kept walking partially because they had had more than enough excitement for one day partially because of the amount of bizarre looks the 'runaway bride' style she was sporting was causing her to be given.
She flagged the down a taxi and told the guy the address.
"Running from something love." He asked as they set off
"No." Ruth replied sharply. River watched her carefully
"Your really nosey!" she told her taxi driver pulling the exact same face as Ruth.
"Your just like your mum." he commented making Ruth turn a rather florescent red
She did not dignify that quote with an answer instead she folded her arms defensively as River giggled.