Umm… Wow… It's been a while, huh? So, is any =one still reading this, or should I pen my Hellsing plot bunnies back up? *(complete silence)* Wow. That makes me feel loved -_- Anyways, I don't own Hellsing, so talk to someone who does. ON WITH THE STORY!

=^w^=

Pip grinned an evil grin as he sauntered down the dungeon hallway. Much to his delight, his little mignonette had come to him with a most devious plan to win some bet. He wasn't sure as to why she wanted what she wanted done, but from what limited information she let him have, he was sure Alucard would wind up with the cake on his face. Humming the brightest French song he could think of, he grandly swung open Seras's door with a cry of "Mignonette! It izcomplète!" His outburst of joy was soon cut short into an awkward silence when he noticed the rather compromising position Alucard had Seras in. "Umm… I well, umm…"

Blushing furiously, Seras pushed a now whining Alucard off her chest, and stood up off the bed. "What were you saying, Pip?"

"I-I-I-"

"Spit it out," Alucard drawled, a pout clearly noticeable in his normal scowl. "Or I'll begin to think you've wasted mine and my fledgling's time." He paused, an evil smile curling across his lips. "And you know what happens to people who waste my time."

Pip let out a very masculine squeak, and turned to a giggling Seras. "M-Mignonette, ze men 'ave finished."

Seras grinned, and shot him a secretive thumbs up. "Thank you, Pip. Was there anything else you wanted?"

"N-No," he said, casting a glance at Alucard's smirk. "Zat iz all." With that the mercenary turned quickly, and darted out of the room.

When the heavy door clicked shut, Alucard leant his head back, and let out his maniacal laugh, Seras's giggle joining it, and still not taking the insane edge off of it. "Well, Police Girl, I do believe that's number seven."

Seras scoffed. "Unfortunately for you, it surprised you too, so it doesn't count."

Alucard grinned, his signature smirk curling across his cheeks. "Unfortunately for you, I wasn't the one who jumped."

She scowled, and thought back on Pip's entrance. He really didn't jump… "But Pip was the one doing the surprising so it doesn't count."

At this pathetic attempt, Alucard actually laughed. "My dear Police Girl, why do you think I relocated us here and not my own chambers?" Seras's jaw dropped, and she stared at the still chuckling vampire as he phased upwards. "Like I said, seven," he grinned down at her gob smacked expression.

=^w^=

So, that was absolutely horrendous, and I'm not even sure anyone's still reading this. Well, if you are, review so I know you are! :D And I promise, scout's honor, that this story will be finished by March. And, if anyone's interested, I may be putting "Partners?" up for adoption, just PM me if you want it, and we'll talk. Same goes for "The Baby Hatters" despite the fact that none of you are Alice fans.