Chapter 10: Sexual Attraction

XOXOXOXO

I felt an inexplicable pull towards the front door and, shuffling slowly, I leaned my head against it as my tears ran silent paths down my cheeks.

How could one evening make me feel so many different emotions? I had been tipsy — keyword being had — angry, euphoric, and now sad. I was on a roller coaster of epic proportions and damn it, I wanted off.

No more.

No more pity party for Bella. I couldn't sit idly by and watch my life continue with only minor input from me any longer. I'd have to tell Edward that I had some major feelings for him. Fiancé be damned.

I inhaled a huge breath, letting it infiltrate the deepest parts of my lungs before letting it out slowly. I was giving myself my own inner pep talk, building myself up to do what needed to be done.

Now.

Before I chickened out and never did anything about it.

I wiped at the tear stains on my cheeks before grabbing the handle of the door.

You can do this, Bella. You've got to do this.

Turning it and opening the door quickly, I was shocked at what awaited me.

Edward.

He was facing me, arms outstretched on both sides of the doorframe, his head hung down and back slightly bowed like he was stretching.

At the sudden movement of the door, he looked up sharply.

A gasp hung in the air around us; I wasn't sure which one of us had done it.

I clutched at my chest as I took in his appearance. His eyes flickered with emerald flames, rimmed with red as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep lately. A devious smirk played on his lips and my already rapidly beating heart sputtered uncontrollably in my rib cage.

It might have been wise to remember that I was clad only in a towel that barely covered my thighs, but I had other, more pressing, thoughts on my mind. Like, what was he doing here? And oh, good Lord, did he just check me out?

"Do you mind if I come in, Bella?" he asked lowly.

I shivered.

Then, because I'm a total spaz, I nodded and ushered him inside.

He pushed off from the doorframe, his long legs coming forward as he stalked towards me with a glint in his eyes that sent my girlie parts gasping for the nearest thing to hold on to.

Do not, I repeat, do not get too excited there, Bella. You don't want to have all your lady juices running down your legs. That'd be a little obvious and extremely embarrassing. I can just picture it now, 'No, Edward. See? This is just my water breaking. I've been secretly pregnant and now it's time for your completely delectable father to deliver my child. Sound good?'

I blinked away my thoughts before I could get too engrossed and closed the door softly behind him.

"Uh, you ca-can just take a seat. I'm go-going to just, uh, change," I stuttered out.

He looked… disappointed... as I turned from him and headed into my room.

My mind went into freak out mode.

What the fuck am I supposed to wear?! I mean, I could put on my pajamas, but currently those consisted of a crappy wife-beater and boxers. Why didn't I have anything cute to wear?

I shook my inner fist at the Victoria's Secret god for not supplying me with adequate sexiness material.

Riffling through my drawers, I came up with a compromised solution. I wouldn't wear my P.J.'s in front of him, but I would wear a pair of shorts and a tank top. I'd just forgo the underwear, it was still warm enough to where I wouldn't have a serious problem of rock hard nipples and it meant I could get back to him that much quicker.

I shimmied into a pair of cargo shorts that actually came to the same hem length as the towel.

Well, that's a plus. A little leg never hurt anybody. Hmm… except for me. Dear Lord, please don't let me make an ass out of myself in front of him. I just might crawl into a hole and die. Okay? Thanks.

Pulling the towel from my body, I grabbed the white tank top I'd laid out on the bed. With my back to the bedroom doorframe, I pushed my arms through the designated holes and stopped as I felt a lone, warm object lightly run from the middle of my right shoulder blade down to my waistline. My hands instinctively pulled the garment to my chest, covering myself in a pure act of modesty while my eyes closed of their own accord and I gasped.

Well, there goes the rock hard nipple theory.

It felt heavenly.

But where the fuck had it come from?

Not trusting myself to turn around completely, I looked over my shoulder. Standing a foot behind me, eyes focused on the trail of fire he'd left on my skin, was Edward.

Jesus, did the man not know what he does to me?

Before I could speak he brought his other hand up and did the same thing on my opposite shoulder.

I fucking shivered from that shit.

And moaned.

I almost sounded like a porn star. Go me.

Upon hearing my moan, his eyes flashed up to meet mine. Pure, unadulterated lust pooled in the green caverns of his soul.

I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life and he was barely even touching me.

God, do something else. Touch me.

He closed the gap between us, his strong muscled chest coming into contact with my overheated skin. I wanted to melt into him.

Gently putting force on my shoulders, he turned me to face him.

Oh, Jesus. He smelled like Edward and… something else… Mexican food? Oh, that's right; he had the bottle of tequila. He's probably snockered out of his mind and thinks I'm Tanya or something. Though, I can't see how you could mistake the two of us. It'd be like comparing tuna to caviar.

His eyes still continued to burn at me, his fingers lightly digging into my shoulders as he stared into my eyes.

When had I started panting?

And for that matter, when had he?

Slowly, ever so slowly, his fingers drifted over my skin. He was half tickling me and half making me writhe in pleasure as they dipped lower and lower down my body. Coming to rest on my hips, he pulled me sharply into him.

I could feel the well defined outline of his cock through my thin shorts, hard and hot against me.

Oh, honey was AROUSED. Earth to mission control: abort, I repeat, abort! Mayday, mayday! We have a situation on our hands!

I nearly buckled at the sudden movement, my passion and mind at war with each other.

His hands held onto me, keeping me glued to him, as my back bent slightly backward. We were dancing with each other, each choreographed step coming closer to the final dip and presentation.

With one hand changing its position on my hip to circle around my waist, he brought the other one to cup my cheek. It seemed like we were doing this often today, goodness knows I loved it.

His breath fanned over my face, smelling strongly of José Cuervo. I'd get drunk just by breathing him in. Hell, even if he was completely sober, I'd still get drunk.

For the first time in this crazy lust ritual, one of us spoke.

"Bella…" Oh, for the love of all that's Holy, say my name again!

"Edward?" Why did my voice have to be all wavery and shit? Could I not sound like a pre-pubescent, hormone raddled, kid for once?

"You are the most… beautiful… creature I have ever seen," he breathed out.

If I wasn't blushing already from heat exposure, I sure as shit was now.

"Th-thank you, Edward. You're, well, you probably already know this, but you're absolutely gorgeous." Fuck! Did I really just tell him that I thought he was gorgeous?

Mental facepalm because I'm a loser.

He smirked at me, chuckling lightly and causing the most delicious movement against our lower halves.

I bit my lip to hold in my moan, and was surprised to hear him let one out.

"You are so fucking sexy when you do that," he growled.

My heart stopped and my breath caught.

Holy freaking hell in a hand basket!

He just said fuck.

And sexy.

And he growled.

How can I get him to do that again?

Repeatedly.

Please.

"I-I don't know wh-what you're talking about," I stuttered out. Really, why would he find my lip biting sexy? I've been doing it all my life and no one's ever mentioned it before.

"Don't sell yourself short, Bella. Everything you do, every move you make, gets me like this," he said while lightly thrusting his hips into mine for emphasis on the last word.

This time I let out my moan, and by the glorious hand of God, he growled again at me. I felt the sound travel through his chest, reverberating against my pulse and sending another shiver down my spine.

He moved his head closer to mine, veering off to the side so that his cheek was planted softly against my face. Inhaling the fragrance of my hair, he shuddered against me.

"And you smell so… mouthwatering. I think I just might have to taste you and see if the flavor's in one spot or all. Over. Your. Body."

Oh, yes! Lick me, taste me, do whatever the fuck you want to me! Just make me feel good.

I need to move my hands. I need to run my fingers through his amazing hair, or grip him tighter, or fuck, do something!

"Edward?" I said slowly.

"Hmm?" was his reply against my ear.

"I need…" God this was going to be difficult.

"Yes, Bella? What do you need, love?"

I took a deep breath.

"I need to put on my shirt. And then we need to talk." What?! NO! I was talking, yes, but the words coming out of my mouth are not the ones I want to say.

What I really wanted to say was, "The bed, the wall, or the floor?"

My conscious was getting the better of me though, telling me quietly that we did have things to talk about that were important.

Like him being engaged to Tanya.

Yeah, I'd say that would be a big thing to talk about.

His face fell, becoming quickly disappointed.

Great, now he thinks I don't want him. Way to go, Bella.

Lifting one of my hands from my chest, I cupped his cheek. His eyes slid closed as he leaned into my touch.

"You feel… God, so good. So soft and warm," he said lazily.

My skin hummed in agreement.

"It'll be okay," was the only comforting thing I could say to reassure him.

I felt him nod and then turn from me, walking silently back into the living room.

Plopping down into a sitting position on my bed, I tried to calm down my rapidly beating heart. Damn man was going to be the death of me and there was nothing I could, or would, do to stop it. I was intoxicated by him.

Fucking morality.

If it wasn't for me being such a good person, I'd have jumped him. Easily, gladly.

I quickly stopped my internal mumblings. Currently they weren't doing anything good for me. Shaking my head at myself, I finally slipped the tank top over my head and pulled it down my chest. I winced when my pebbled nipples were rubbed against the fabric, making a mental note to cover my chest when I went back out there to talk to Edward.

Sighing, I decided that I'd stalled long enough and that it was now time to get the difficult conversation of Evil Queen Tanya out of the way.

To relieve some stress, I rolled my shoulders and tried to pop my neck.

Yeah, all that did was stretch out my muscles and instead of feeling better, I felt worse.

Groaning, I slowly got up from the bed. My still damp hair stuck grossly to my back, so I made a side-trip to the bathroom. The reflection staring back at me from the mirror did not look like me at all. My pupils were dilated, my skin flushed all over, my hair starting pouf around my head. Oh, I'd definitely be fixing the hair situation immediately.

I ran my brush through my hair once again, getting out any errant tangles that had accumulated since I'd been in the bathroom last, and threw it up into a pony-tail. I didn't have any special powers like Alice did when it came to making masterpieces out of hair, but I knew the essentials.

All right, Bella. You can fucking do this! I mean, you can fuck him, and talk to him, but, shit. Jesus, just stop talking to yourself!

I left the bathroom and slowly made my way towards the living room. Really? What other choice did I have? I wasn't going to just let Edward sit out there all by himself. I just didn't trust myself to get the right words out before I attacked him.

Oh Lord, how I wanted to attack him.

And molest him.

And… okay, wrong train of thought.

I stopped and looked down at my crotch.

Pussy, please stop talking. You're starting to scare the guests.

Shaking my head to get rid of the ridiculousness inside of it, I rounded the corner to find Edward.

His mop of copper hair was sticking out predominately against the cream color of the armrest of my couch.

He'd fallen asleep.

On the sofa.

Curled up into himself.

I couldn't help the smile that overcame me.

Seriously?

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from laughing, or crying, or erupting into a screaming fit.

God help him, he'll have blue balls in the morning.

I sniggered silently, and then I stopped dead as a realization hit me.

Would he remember?

All of it, any of it, some of it, none of it.

My heart sank sadly inside my chest, the overwhelming need to cry washed onto me like a rogue wave in the middle of the ocean.

Fucking hormones.

I closed my eyes as the tears once again pooled inside them.

Breathe, Bella.

Settle yourself and then take charge of the situation.

You can do this right.

I headed back into my room and grabbed an extra pillow from my bed. Then I walked towards the hallway closet. I knew I had a blanket somewhere around here. I just had to find the damn thing.

Riffling through each shelf, I found one that would hopefully cover his frame. What's the point in giving him a blanket if it wouldn't keep all of him warm?

Making my way back over to the couch I walked cautiously around the edge of it as to not disturb him and wake him up. I slowly unraveled the fabric and draped it over his sleeping form. Setting the pillow down on the floor, I untied his shoes and set them down on the floor near the end of the sofa. I guess I was kind of into the whole taking care of someone else bit. It made me feel important.

He looked so angelic, so peaceful. The cupid's bow of his top lip reminded me of a newborn baby. So soft and pink, just begging to be touched and caressed.

Hesitantly, I ran my hand across the top of his forehead, sweeping away the hair that obscured my perfect vision of him. His head moved, seeking out the comfort that I offered and I sat down on the floor beside him. He snuggled into my touch as I ran my fingers over his smooth skin, trying to memorize the exact contours of his beautiful face.

"Scooch down, love. I got you a pillow," I said softly, reverently, against his skin.

Somehow, miraculously, he heard me and shifted so that he was lying on his side on the entirety of the cushions.

"Now, lift your head," I added after he'd gotten comfortable.

As he moved, I quickly slid the pillow underneath his head. Gently, I pushed his face down until it came into contact with the fluffy object.

He smiled and 'hmmed', burrowing into it and inhaling deeply. Then I understood. The pillow smelled like me. A small smile played on my lips again as my heart felt incredibly warm. I returned to stroking the contours of his face.

After I was sure that he was completely passed out — which could have been minutes or hours, I didn't know, I'd been drinking him in the entire time — I carefully got up from the floor.

Everyone else was worried about him, I needed to at least let someone know that he was all right and was currently sleeping on my couch. As quietly as I could, I opened the front door and padded across the way to Alice's apartment.

I knocked lightly; goodness knows I didn't want to interrupt anything.

I smiled as Emmett answered.

"Hey Bellsy! What's shakin'?" he grinned lazily.

Get the man some alcohol and he comes up with a pretty good nick-name. Figures.

"I found Edward," I announced happily.

"No shit. Where's the doofus?" he replied eagerly.

"He's sleeping on my couch."

"Oh. Well, did you want me to get him from your place? Or do you not mind if he stays over?" Emmett said with a knowing look and a gleam in his eye.

I groaned at him, "Emmy, I swear, there's nothing going on between Edward and me! He's got Tanya for fuck's sake."

He thought for a moment. "Well, I'm pretty sure that he could fuck Tanya whenever he wanted, but that still doesn't change the fact that he wants you."

Didn't I just go over this with Rosalie?

I shook my head and gave up on the conversation. "Nah, he can stay at my place. I don't mind. Actually, did he leave a bag or anything over here? I can bring it to him that way he won't freak out in the morning or something."

He nodded and left me standing there awkwardly. Then I remembered Rock Hard Nipples of '09 and crossed my arms over my chest. I liked Emmett, but he didn't need to see the girls on display.

He returned a minute later, a small black duffle bag in his hand and a smile on his lips.

"Here, Bella. Everyone's glad that Edward's been found, we were worrying about him. They'd come out and talk to you, but Ali's owning Grand Theft Auto and refuses to let anyone destroy her 'zone'. But Rosalie said to watch him, whatever that means," he said as he handed me the bag.

I took it from him slowly. "I'm glad I could be of assistance," I said truthfully.

Really, I'd been worried about Edward too.

"And Alice says to remind you about breakfast tomorrow."

I giggled. Alice and her damn get togethers.

"Thanks Em, I'll see you bright and early."

"Yes ma'am," he agreed as he gave me a goodbye hug.

Turning around quickly, I made my way back to my apartment. I set Edward's bag on the floor next to his shoes and stared at it for a minute.

What did he have in there?

Hmm… cologne, toothpaste, clothes… underwear?

Oh shit, I could find out if he's a boxer or brief kind of guy!

No, Bella! Bad, bad Bella!

Changing the direction of my thoughts, I decided to write him a note to explain that Alice wanted us to go to breakfast the next morning.

Hell I didn't know if he'd be able to read it, but still, the thought was there.

Pivoting on my heel and returning to my bedroom, I grabbed my notebook and tore out a random sheet of paper.

I scribbled out a note to him, only mentioning Alice and breakfast tomorrow, and set it on his bag.

I hoped he would join us.

Passing by the front door and checking that it was secured, I went into my room and changed into my P.J.'s. I glanced at my clock on the nightstand.

Jesus! Ever since I'd, well, taken care of business, earlier, time had flown by! Now it was an acceptable time for bed.

I went through my nightly routine, all the while thinking about Edward and the fact that he was in my apartment, sleeping on my couch.

Should I go check on him before I go to sleep?

Should I get him a glass of water?

What if he throws up?

What if he has to pee?

There were just too many fucking variables. Yeah, that's right. I used a ten-cent-fucking word. Get over it.

He's a smart guy, Bella. He'll probably think he ended up back at Alice's and he sure as shit knows the layout of her place. Same thing here. Relax.

With my mind now semi at ease, I focused on what I should do next. Yes, I was tired from the day's activities, but I had this weird energy coursing through my veins at the same time.

While things were still fresh in my mind, I decided to write once again in my notebook.

What could it hurt?

Grabbing it back up from my nightstand, I opened it up to the next blank page.

PG kissed me today, of all days. It's my fucking birthday. I should have a say as to what does or does not happen to my body. I would've much rather it have been with MD, but seeing as he's currently unavailable, I won't make too much of a fuss. Oh Lord, who am I kidding? I bitched PG out like he didn't have a single ounce of common sense in his head. And I know that he's smarter than that! He said I'd grow to love him. Really? He makes it sound like I've been promised into an arranged marriage. Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I want love. I want love to attract me to someone and love to make a connection with that person. I want the falling head over heels version where all I can think about is that person and what they're doing at that exact moment. Obsession? Stalking? No.

It's the way I feel towards MD sometimes. Whenever he's around, I can't stop thinking about him. He's all I can concentrate on. I can't help it! He just… captivates me.

He disappeared after PG kissed me. I didn't have a chance to explain that it wasn't anything. Then, an hour or so later, he shows up at my apartment a little intoxicated.

The most, arousing thing happened next. He walked in on me changing and did this thing with his finger. It was like he was barely touching me, but hot damn, I thought I'd combust from the sensation alone. He said some things, and I pray to God that I'll never forget the way his voice sounded. It was deep and gravely and… needy. He thrust his erection against me and I acted like a completely random animal in heat! Not once in my entire life have I ever, EVER, felt like that. Then when I shooed him out of the room so I could finish changing, I found him passed out on my couch.

Jesus, what kind of position have I gotten myself into?

I'm in the first stages of love with a stranger.

Is it to late to turn into a lesbian?

No, I think I like the cock too much.

Throwing my pen and notebook back onto the nightstand, I growled under my breath.

Boys were just so fucking difficult to understand!

With Edward in the apartment I would most likely be tossing and turning in my bed. Sleep would only happen upon me for an hour or so, and then I'd wake up and go check on him.

That's me, the overly worrisome thinker.

And it happened just as I thought it would.

After my growling episode, I turned off the side lamp and attempted sleep. Two hours later, I woke up from a very weird, yet equally hilarious, dream.

Everyone from the party was standing in front of my apartment building, talking about something or other, when Jake walked up and randomly started dancing with Rosalie. She looked absolutely disgusted and Emmett pushed him off of her. She called him an absolute dog and flipped him off.

Then, suddenly, Jake had taken a shit on the sidewalk and a nice, enthusiastic, blonde girl named Ellie picked it up and threw it at Tanya's face. It had perfect landing and actually ran down the front of her clothing after making a sickening plopping sound.

Ellie said, "That's right, skank! You've just been pooed! Better get used to that shit because it ain't over yet!"

Then after turning to Jake she added, "You're a perverted jerkface. Don't be sending anymore nasty-ass pictures of your schlong to my baby girl, B. I'ma bust your ass."

After that she ran in the opposite direction screaming something about potatoes.

Tanya's outraged scream was what had woken me up.

How I knew the girl's name or where she came from, I have no idea because I've never seen her before in my life, but I woke up laughing hysterically with tears running down my face.

I covered my mouth with my hand while I rolled over and buried my face in the pillow.

Oh Lordy Jeebus fuckity.

Where did my mind come up with these things?

Calming down a little bit, I decided to check on Edward. Padding silently into the living room with a small, neon purple colored flashlight with a dim bulb I kept in my nightstand, I stopped a few feet away from him. I listened for his breathing. If I was sure that he was still alive, then all was well with the universe.

His light snoring brought a grin to my face, and I wished I had some sort of recording device for future blackmail.

Satisfied with my findings, I returned back to my bed to hopefully get more than a couple hours' of sleep.

I did get more than two hour's sleep that last time, but only just. I made it to three hours later before another weird dream plagued my thoughts.

This time the only thing I remember was reaching out to help an Asian woman from falling.

Huh… was it Jen?

I shook the uneasiness from my mind. I just needed some crackers or something in my stomach; I hadn't eaten anything substantial since Alice's party and I was due for some carbohydrates. Maybe then I wouldn't be having such peculiar dreams.

Climbing out of bed once again, I grabbed the flashlight and made my way into the kitchen. I tried my hardest to keep the noise level down. My only objective was a package of Saltine's in one of the cupboards.

Apparently the crackers had a different plan, because as soon as I grabbed the package, the plastic wrapping crinkled and crunched like I'd found an errant piece of bubble-wrap lying around and had decided to tap dance on it.

Fantastic.

I hope I didn't wake Edward up.

I slowly made my way out of the kitchen and started passing by Edward's form on the couch.

"You know you're extremely loud when you're trying to be quiet?"

"Jesus, fuck!" I yelped. The package of crackers flew from me as my hands came up to clutch at my face and chest.

"Please don't scream," he added calmly.

"Oh, Edward! I'm so sorry. I was trying not to wake you and then the stupid Saltine's have a trademark for loud wrappings and… I'm giving you a headache, aren't I?" I whispered.

"A little bit. Too much talking this early in the morning," he said as he sat up slowly and shifted into a regular sitting position, leaning back on the couch.

"Did you want some aspirin?" I offered. Yes, I was being a hostess. And no, not the cupcake.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you," he agreed.

I did an about face and headed back into the kitchen. Grabbing a brand new water-bottle, and the container of aspirin from the first aid kit I kept in the kitchen, I went back to Edward.

"Here, these should help. Plus some more sleep. It's like, five a.m." I said as I handed each of the objects off to him.

He took them both gratefully. I felt awkward standing there, but honestly he hadn't given me any indication to leave yet and hell, we still needed to talk.

After washing down a couple of the aspirin, he sighed and leaned forward. Dropping an elbow to his knee, he bent down and raked his fingers over his face while the other arm draped in between his legs.

"Bella, what happened last night?" he asked, voice muffled.

My heart fell as my mind leaped to my first, original worry.

With my voice wavering slightly, I responded, "You don't remember… anything?"

XOXOXOXO

A/N: Thanks to Ellie and Amelia for being fantastic betas. Also, thanks to my mom for all of her support.

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