Squeak

Set during "Economics"; a true outtake

A dog was barking outside, probably the same one he saw earlier in the day when they pulled into the Aino's driveway: a small, ratty thing yipping behind the neighbor's fence.

It had now been barking for seventeen consecutive minutes. Kevin knew this because his exhausted eyeballs were staring into the bright red numerals of the digital alarm clock placed inches from his face. There wasn't much space in Mina's old bedroom, especially since her mother had started using it for storage, and the nightstand and bed were shoved closely together.

He was stuck on the outside. Sleeping on the inside edge against the wall made him claustrophobic.

The dog kept barking. He wondered if he could borrow one of Jason's baseballs and try beaning it from the second floor window. Hell, Jason would probably help him.

Sighing, he turned on his other side and crushed half of his girlfriend's body in the process.

"Ow! You're on me."

"Sorry." They adjusted, each trying to find a comfortable position on the cramped double bed. It had been big enough when she was a teenager, and sleeping alone, but now that they were used to so much more room, it was like trying to sleep on a domino. Kevin stared at the dim outline of the Rubbermaid boxes full of Mrs. Aino's scrapbooking supplies and wondered if Raye and Jason were experiencing the same problem in Jason's old room.

There was an upside to sleeping on a tiny bed: almost constant body contact.

"Stop it!"

She retracted her hand. "Why?"

"We're in your parents' house!"

He knew she was pouting in the darkness. "You didn't care when we were in your parents' house!"

"That's different." He shifted again, and the mattress springs groaned from the slight movement. "They can hear us."

"They can not. Fine then, go to sleep, you big wuss."

He reached over and turned the clock around. The dog outside was still barking, and now Bagels was giving an occasional tired "woof" back. "I'm trying. Move over."

Mina scooted and shut her eyes, willing her brain to shut down so that she could start falling asleep. Ten minutes later, a restless, prickling current shot down the left side of her body. She flipped over, jostling Kevin's body and whipping him in the face with her hair. He started fidgeting. "Sorry."

"Hmm."

She inched her face towards his. "Are you sleeping?"

"No."

"Were you getting close?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Sorry." Mina rolled onto her right side and tried to find a place to put her bottom arm, finally sliding it under his neck. He grunted and turned his head, pinning it in place. "Ow my arm! Can you stop moving?"

"Can you stop talking?"

"I'll stop talking when you stop moving."

"You're talking more than I'm—"

His words were cut off as a familiar, rhythmic squeaking noise was heard faintly through the door.

"Oh my God!" Mina pulled her head up and listened closer. "Is that--?"

Kevin pulled his pillow over his face. "Great."

Mina let her head drop back down. "See? My brother's not all hung up about having sex in our parents' house."

His voice was muffled as he spoke through the pillow. "That's because your dad won't kill his own son. I'm fair game."

"Whatever."

The dog had finally stopped barking; the squeaking continued, picking up in volume and frequency in the fresh silence.

Kevin tried to scoot away from the edge and smushed Mina into the wall. "You lived with them. How long does this usually take?"

"I don't know! I didn't have my ear pressed to the door when they were doing it!" She sighed. "Just ignore it, they'll, you know…finish soon."

Ten minutes later the squeaking was still audible, accompanied by the occasional knock of something heavy against the headboard. Worse, a soft female moan joined in at regular intervals.

Now they were both awake, their eyes wide open as they stared at the ceiling. Mina stated the obvious in a quiet whisper. "They're not done."

"What do you want me to do? Shoot them with a garden hose?"

"Yell at them."

"You yell at them! It's your brother!"

"Yeah, but I don't want my parents to wake up," she fretted. "I wouldn't care if it was just Jason, but Raye'll get all embarrassed and get mad at me." She turned her head. "Do you still have some Ambien?"

"Yes."

"Should we take some?"

Before he could answer, they heard a long, breathy sigh, and the squeaking tapered and finally stopped, leaving the house in near-silence.

The dog next door started yapping again.

Mina huffed and resumed her search for a comfortable position. "I'm so yelling at Raye tomorrow. Can you move your leg?"

"Move it where?"

"Never mind. Get the Ambien."

The next morning, when all four were sitting around the breakfast table and pouring cereal, Mina waited until her mother went to let the dog out before leaning towards her brother. "Jason—"

He cut her off. "Is it possible for you two to take it to the floor tonight?"

Mina frowned. "What?"

Raye piped in. "We hear you hornballs going at it last night like rabbits! Can you take a night off so that I can sleep, please? We're supposed to take pictures today, and I don't think I can cover these bags under my eyes. Did you bring your Studio Fix? 'Cause I'm going to need it."

Jason was scowling. "Seriously, guys. Keep it down. I think the whole neighborhood could hear you bone."

Mina waited until her mother crossed the room and disappeared into the pantry. "It wasn't us!" She hissed under her breath.

"Yes it was!" Jason insisted. "You were even moaning! I could hear you through my pillow!"

"Jason, I swear to God it wasn't us!"

He turned to Kevin. "Really?"

Kevin simply nodded, his coffee mug frozen halfway to his mouth.

Jason sat back. "Well, it wasn't us. And if it wasn't you…"

His voice trailed off as his mother returned and busied herself at the stove. "Anyone want bacon?"

"I do!" Mr. Aino sing-songed as he entered the kitchen. "Morning, kids."

They mumbled in response, and four pairs of disbelieving eyes watched as he made his way to the stove and hugged his wife from behind. She giggled and swatted at him as he placed a quick kiss on her cheek.

The four at the table whipped their heads around to look at each other, their eyes wide with sudden realization. A second passed with no movement.

"AH!" Mina jumped up and ran out of the room as Jason made a gagging noise and shoved away his cereal bowl hard enough to splash milk across the table. He was on his feet in the next second, and ran out of the kitchen on his sister's heels. They could hear them screaming and groaning hysterically from the living room.

Mrs. Aino slid a plate of bacon on the half-empty table. "What's wrong with them?"

The two non-Ainos locked eyes across the table, unsure of what to say.

Mr. Aino grinned and snatched a piece of bacon, winking at them as he bit into it. "More for us, right guys?"

In the next room, the two siblings continued their frantic tirade.

Next door, the neighbor's dog started barking.