Chapter 8: The Silence Without You.
The sun rose on brand new day, the sun beams were covered by the clouds being the season of winter. The Night had faded, while another new day had started. The time from the ticking clock, woke up Torrie from her slumber.
Her eyes opened slightly still half asleep. She stretched out her arms, and ended up hitting John in the face. John yelped out softly after her hand hitting him in the face woke him up.
"Oh John, I'm sorry" Torrie spoke.
John kept his hand on his eyes, "Well that a nice way to say good morning" John joked.
"Sorry, still half asleep" Torrie giggled.
"Not what I'm used too" John kept his hand on his mouth and nose.
"No, it's something like this" Torrie removed his hands, hovering her over his body. She leaned down and kissed him.
"No, can't stay here. Can't resist you but can't stay in bed all day" John spoke. Torrie just giggled as she flicked her blonde hair on her shoulders.
John groaned before he looked at the clock. He lied back down on the bed, Torrie came onto his chest and lied comfortably in his arms.
"I thought you said you had to get out of bed?"
"I do," he sat up, and turned back to Torrie.
"What time are you going?" Torrie asked.
"In a few hours, are you sure you're going to be okay here?"
"Are you kidding? I'll have loads to do and Lucky can keep me company" Torrie giggled.
"Well if you're sure?" John asked.
Torrie nodded "100 percent, and I want you to have such a wonderful time at your mums and meeting your niece for the first time"
John nodded before he looked outside noticing the gloom of the winter outside.
"God it's dull" Torrie said. "I want the sunshine back" she moaned.
"Babe it is winter," John spoke. "Summer was months ago"
Torrie just looked at him before she did his "You can't see me" In his face before she fell back on the bed, in giggles.
John chuckled "I better get ready" he gave Torrie a kiss before he climbed out of the bed. Torrie lied back down on the comfortable pillows, wrapping up warm in the duvet. She didn't want to get up and start the day.
"You going to stay there all day?" John asked.
"No, I'll be moving soon"
"God I'm terrible" Torrie giggled.
John came out of the bathroom dressed in blue jeans, no shirt on. "Why's that?"
Torrie looked at John's bare chest, watching his tone abs appear when he took in a breath "I don't know, I kind of lost my words" Torrie said, with a smirk forming across of her face.
"What?" John asked with a chuckle, while he got out a white t shirt.
"Nothing…I….was saying that I'm terrible because I haven't gone out running again, early in the morning for my work out. God I'm slacking off" She spoke with a natural grin across her face.
"Well you did wake up at 3am…as I remember" John chuckled.
"Well it is winter, I guess I can use that as an excuse"
John nodded, "Oh yeah of course"
Torrie looked at him. "Again your fault" she poked him on the arm.
"And why is my fault?" he placed his large hands on his hips.
"Because you and your house is so comfortable and warm, it's making me not want to go out running" Torrie spoke.
"Well you're welcome to use the gym here if you're that concerned" John grinned.
Torrie's eyes lit up, "Really?"
"Yeah of course, saves you going outside in the cold" John spoke while he stood near the bed.
Torrie sat there on the bed, before she kneeled up putting her hands on his chest. "You are amazing do you know that?" Torrie asked.
"Well I've been told that before" He chuckled before he gave Torrie a kiss on the lips.
"I'm going to miss you" Torrie spoke.
"Yeah I will too, but if you need me then just phone me, or text me. Or tweet me I'll get straight back to you" John told.
"Okay, how long will be gone for?"
"I'll be back on Saturday" John answered.
Torrie nodded, while she took John's hand to help her off the bed. "Okay I'm going to get dressed, get this day started" she told. John nodded while he chuckled softly hoping inside, that Torrie was doing better than she was last night.
She seemed to be in a higher mood right now, but she could be just hiding what she really feels, bottling the emotions up inside…to the point…where she can't take it anymore.
John felt the concern rising in his blue eyes, he wondered if that is what exactly is happening to Torrie. He was concerned for her after last night's chain of events leading up to the heated confrontation.
The past had come back to haunt her in the worst possible time. John hated seeing her like that, it seemed all the comfort he could give…wasn't enough and that made John feel helpless inside.
Torrie came out dressed in white trousers with a hot pink long sleeved top. She was brushing her hair while looking in the mirror. Torrie continued to gently run the brush through her light golden hair.
She put her brush down, and just looked back at her reflection in the mirror. She ran her fingers softly through her mirror shine locks. The light of the room, caught the shine in her hair while she kept running her fingers through.
The moment she felt her chest starting to rise faster, she could tell her heart rate had increased, the pain was coming back slowly but it was piercing her deeply. Torrie took in a deep breath, closing her eyes.
She continued on with the day. She picked up her make up, and started to apply it.
"How are you feeling today?" John asked putting on a black shirt, but leaving it buttons undone.
"I'm okay" Torrie spoke with a small smile.
"Yeah? Better than last night? Well earlier?"
Torrie nodded her head, keeping holding on she told her mind. "Yeah, after I cried my heart out on you, I'm fine. Got up, and dusted myself off and kept going on with the day" Torrie said, with a strong smile across her face.
"You know I will keep you safe"
Torrie smiled, she knew if she lost her way…then she knew John would keep her safe and warm. She'll never be alone. "I know"
John looked at her, a proud look went across his face. "I'm proud of you Tor"
Torrie gave him that Torrie natural smile she used to have on television. "Really?"
"Yeah you're stronger than you know" He told, placing a kiss on her cheek from behind. He left the room while Torrie kept on smiling until she was alone. She turned back to the reflection lying in the mirror.
Torrie felt the silence fill up the room. She lowered her eyes down before she directed her attention to the mirror in front, it portrayed the hidden emotion Torrie felt within her heart.
One thing she knew.
Mirrors can lie.
She will keep on smiling, pushing on until she can finally let go, and finally heal from the most deepest, heartbreaking pain she ever felt in her life.
…..
"Right I'm off" John walked in the living room, Torrie was sitting on the couch stroking and giving loving attention to Lucky.
Torrie was still stroking Lucky, and playing with his toys with him.
"Torrie"
"Huh?"
"I feel replaced," John moaned, and still Torrie didn't turn her head.
"Torrie, earth to Torrie. It's me John Cena your boyfriend" he kneeled in front of her.
"Sorry what did you say?" Torrie asked, with a smile.
"I'm leaving now" Cena repeated again, feeling like the hundredth time he had said that.
"Okay, have a amazing time" Torrie told as she gave him a kiss.
"I will, help yourself to whatever and do whatever you want" John told.
Torrie giggled, leaning her head back on the couch arm chair. "Does that…..mean I can have a party?" Torrie teased.
"Don't push it" He chuckled.
"So that's a no then?" Torrie giggled again, John leaned down to her face to give Torrie a beautiful passionate kiss.
"See you later, come here Lucky" John spoke, the adorable dog came trotting over to his owner, jumping up putting his paws on John.
"Look after her" he stroked the golden retriever.
"We'll more than just fine, won't we sweetie" Torrie spoke giving Lucky a scratch behind the ears, getting Lucky's tail to start wagging happily.
"Alright, see you at the weekend"
"Wait, wait" Torrie suddenly got up from the couch. She opened her case, and pulled out a birthday red envelope.
"It's not much, at such short notice. But wish your mom a happy birthday from me" Torrie spoke with a cute smile across her face.
John took the card. "Tor, you didn't have too"
"I know, I wanted too, be the best girlfriend I can be. I will get her something much more special for Christmas" Torrie spoke while she smiled.
John held onto the card, and put his arms around Torrie's back, giving her a hug while one of her hands were resting on the back of his neck, and the other was on his back.
"Thank you Tor, it may not seem much to you. But it is to me…." John cuddled her, Torrie kept her arms around John before she smiled.
John walked to the hall way and put his black coat on, grabbing his car keys.
"Wait, wait" Torrie said again.
John turned around still near the door. She ran over and gave him a huge hug, wrapping her arms around him. She then put her hands on his cheeks and gave him a passionate kiss.
"I'll be here waiting when you come back" Torrie told, with the sparkle in her eyes.
John's dimples in his pearly white smile shown, his teeth blinding with whiteness. "Okay I'll see you soon, look after Lucky for me" John told, Torrie nodded, still smiling.
"Have a lovely time"
John smiled while he opened the door, he shared one more kiss with Torrie before he left the house, getting his car. Torrie stood with Lucky by her side, she waved and blew a kiss to John as he drove away.
As soon as his car was gone, Torrie gently massaged her shoulder with her own hand. She felt the coldness of the wind blow in her face, causing the locks to strew across her face.
She stood there by the door way. She will stick by John, with him because she wouldn't find anyone to love her more, no one that could take her higher. No other man would respect and value her like John does.
And nothing and no one was going to get in between. Torrie hoped he knew, that he's only the one for her. He is truly where her heart truly lies with, she just hoped he knew that.
"Come on sweetie," Torrie closed the door, Lucky ran over and grabbed the soft ball wanting to play.
Torrie smiled before she took the ball. "Come on then, better not break anything" she giggled, she started to throw the ball so Lucky would run for it. Torrie gasped when Lucky ran back over, knocking a vase off a table.
"Oh crap" Torrie spoke, she kneeled down and realised the vase was real crystal.
"Whoa, I hope it wasn't his" Torrie told herself.
Torrie walked into the kitchen as she looked for a dust pan, she opened all the cupboard and under the sink, she found a dust pan and brush. She walked back in and carefully started to sweep up the broken shards of glass.
"It will be our little secret Lucky" Torrie told to the happy Golden Retriever.
Torrie put the shards of glass in the bin, being careful she didn't cut herself. Torrie then put the dust pan back under the sink, she looked around the massive kitchen. The house was twice the size of every house she's had in her life. It looked so beautiful and, the back garden was huge…with all the vintage car collection, and it had a perfect scene of the beautiful ocean.
She loved it, Torrie would really like living here….back in Tampa. Sure the place was full of memories, but it was the most happy place, she had found love, build a marriage that didn't last…but she loved to be in the sunshine, sand and water.
She loved Florida, and would love to move back…the only way she would is if John asked her to move on, until that day…..she wouldn't think too much of Tampa.
Torrie looked at Lucky as he was patting his play ball, she then looked at the ocean in the background. "Lucky, do you want to go for a walk and play in the sand?" Torrie asked,
Lucky tilted his head to the side while looking at the Boise Belle, his tail started to wag happily. Torrie giggled before she started to look around the house for a lead. She would love to go back on the beach in Tampa.
Torrie continued to keep on looking around, she walked into the living room. She looked in the cupboard, and noticed pictures frames were all in a pile. Torrie pulled them out to have a look at the photos.
Torrie's eyes looked down to see pictures of John and Liz together, the last one was on their wedding day. Torrie bit her lip gently while she looked down at the picture. They looked to be so happy, and in love.
Torrie continued to look at the frames, it only hit her that John had kept these frames. Even though they were hidden in a cupboard, they were still in the house so that could mean, John doesn't want to let go. If he didn't want to let go of his marriage
Where would that leave Torrie?
Torrie's heart felt a slight pierce, maybe she could still lose John to something else.
Torrie tucked a few strands underneath her ear before she put the frames back where she had found them. She lowered her eyelashes down for a moment before she tried her best to think on the bright side.
"Come on Lucky…" She turned back to see Lucky holding the lead in his mouth.
Torrie looked at the dog before she giggled. "Okay then, I'll do you a deal. I'll take you if you….don't tell John about what I found?" Torrie asked.
Lucky tiled his head again, like in some kind understanding. Torrie giggled to herself before she took the lead from the dog, she attached the lead to Lucky's collar. She walked out of the back door, she locked up the house.
Torrie walked up to the ocean, she threw the ball across the sand. Lucky went after it. She just watched the golden retriever run after his toy. Torrie stood there looking at the gentle waves, colliding with the ocean shore. She saw the deep blue shade In the ocean.
Torrie blinked her covered mascara lashes, fanned out and extra black. She just felt the breeze of the wind blow in her hair, she had the picture frames in her mind. Torrie took her ipod out of her pocket, she just pressed play and put it back in her pocket.
A beautiful smile came across her face seeing Lucky playing with the ball. She stood there in front of the deep blue ocean, she heard the sound of the waves knocking against the cliffs and rocks.
She heard a soft melody of music come through her ears, she had her headphones in. Torrie's eyes were on Lucky and the ocean. Her head lowered, hearing the lyrics of the song called "The Silence"
Torrie heard the lyrics of the song, in a way she knew John loved her. He did declare it on National Television…but now seeing those frames, she wasn't so sure. He still lives in the house he shared with his wife.
Torrie wondered while she heard the soft waves from ocean. Was John actually over his wife as much as he makes out to be. He will let Torrie in, but moments later it's like he's being guarded with her. He can be her protector, defender like he's always been. He can comfort her but as she wondered on, Torrie has given John so much love.
She had always spoke from her heart with him but it's like, he doesn't really give much back. He'll hold her, kiss her but when it comes to that little word "Love" he doesn't really say it. When they hit a moment, the silence ends up doing all the talking. The Silence just makes Torrie, think was John actually giving his heart to her or did his heart still belong to another.
Torrie wanted to ask him, but she's afraid of the answer she will receive.
"I wanna know but i don't wanna ask.
Torrie lowered her eyes down to the grains of sand, feeling the breeze in her blonde hair, blowing the strands off her shoulders. She heard the lyrics in her ears, it made her heart call, the lyrics went through her mind.So say you love me Or say you need me
She wanted that from John, she had heard him say it but ever since the discovery. She wasn't as sure anymore. She wanted to hear it truthfully from John, does he love her? Right from his heart, does he really love her? Does he really want her? Or was she some kind of healing remedy.
Don't let the silence. Do the talking
Every single time, she feels the silence. It's slowly killing her because was she going to lose the dream, that she wanted so badly to hold onto to. Yes she and John are together now, but was he completely in this relationship. Was his heart in it? Or was it wavering over something else. Holding onto something….or someone….
Just say you want me Or you don't need me
Don't let the silence, Do the talking
It's killing me(the silence)
It's killing me(the silence
It's killing me(the silence)
"You let me in"
Torrie blinked a few times, feeling the wind colliding with her facial features. She could feel a storm brewing somewhere. She continued to listen to the song while she had mindful and heart thoughts bouncing together. That can never be good, because it leaves Torrie torn in what to believe.
Torrie looked up and noticed, Lucky was running back and forth splashing in the ocean. She let out a soft smile, another reason she had found why she never ever wanted to lose John…because Lucky had touched her heart too. Such a lively, strong, friendly, happy companion.
Torrie's eyelashes watched Lucky, while she let in a soft sigh. She thought about what thoughts were going through her mind. She knows for a fact, John does feel something strong, and considers her special to him in his life…
John does let her in, but she comes to a point where he just guards. He won't speak about it, even when she secretly pleading. It's always Torrie that talks about the past.
Torrie wondered standing alone listening to the calm waves, He must have been hurt very deeply, and maybe he doesn't know how to live his life without Elizabeth.
"So say you love me, So say you need, don't let the silence, do the talking."
She folded her arms when she felt the cold breeze in the day. She kept on throwing back the ball so Lucky would run after it. Torrie ruffled her fingers through her blonde hair feeling the breeze through her honey locks.
A smile came across her face, shining like the sunshine on a summer's day. She clapped her hands. Bending down so Lucky would run back to her. Torrie stroked Lucky before she started to play with dog on the beach.
Torrie cuddled Lucky, as her headphones fell out. "I love your owner so much, Lucky" She whispered to the friendly animal.
"I hope he doesn't let us go" Torrie said softly, stroking the golden fur.
Torrie continued to smile, while her mind was battling with so many thoughts. Tears formed behind her eyes while she watched Lucky play with ball, playing in the sand.
Torrie closed her eyes gently, feeling the emotion forming in her eyes. She opened them, and her tears were shimmering like droplets of water.
With Peter's arrival? What will the future determine? Was John actually going to leave her? Was she going to lose it all? Would John let go of his marriage? Was he prepared to do that?
She didn't know. Torrie felt too afraid to ask John in case it is exactly what she feared. She would be left alone….she didn't want or need that. She doesn't want to lose John
But as she listened to the ocean, she wondered.
Would The Silence determine, they were a season, Liz and John were forever.
…
John drove up to his family's home, he stopped the car. He opened his car door and walked up the door. He went to knock on the door, but he felt the door open so he opened the door.
He could see laughter, different voices. John walked in the living room, he saw his mother sitting there doing a crossword, while he could hear his two brothers in the kitchen obviously doing the cooking.
"What is the point….of buying baby knitted clothes. When you have mom here?" Matt asked.
"Do I look like a knitting machine to you?" Carol Cena asked her son.
"You're first grand daughter, You're not going to make her anything?"
"I never said that" Carol said.
John stood there in the hall way, with a grin across his face. "Is there any room for another son?" John asked, speaking up so others heard him.
Carol Cena turned her head, she never believed it. "John! My baby boy!" she
"Hey…I'm the youngest" Sean spoke.
"Shut up" Dan nudged him, throwing the dish towel at him.
"John, oh my god!" happy tears streamed down from the mother's face. She came up from her chair, gave Matt the knitting stuff and hugged her son.
"Hey mom, I love you so much I'm here" John wrapped his arms around his mom giving her a kiss on the cheek. Giving his mother, the best birthday present he could ever get her.
"Oh darling, I never thought you would be here. How long are you here for?"
"Till the weekend" John answered.
Carol Cena hugged her son again. "Oh my god, this will be the best birthday and thanksgiving ever. Nothing can get better than this. Boys come here" she told all her sons.
"I'm dishing up"
"Come here now!" she firmly spoke. "I want a group hug, you're all here now"
John hugged his mother along with his brothers.
"I heard what you had said, but I never thought you'd be here. I'm so thankful that you are,"
John softly chuckled "10 years in the making" he then hugged his brothers, it truly is the best holiday he has had in years.
Carol hugged her son again before she sat back down. John caught up with his brothers, he was already feeling like he was at home.
"So where is she? You haven't lost her already have you?" John asked with a chuckle.
"Oh ha-ha, no. she's upstairs asleep"
"Well go and wake her then, John hasn't seen her yet"
"I'm not going to wake up a sleeping baby, last time she screamed for hours. She'll be up in a few hours" Matt explained.
"Someone wants to meet her uncle John?" Matt's wife told coming down the stairs.
John smiled ear to ear, as he saw the little baby girl resting in the arms of Matt's wife. The mother of a baby daughter.
"Oh my god, she's so beautiful" John spoke, with a smile across his face.
"Would you like a hold?"
"Yeah, I would love too" John spoke. The little baby girl was placed in his arms. John secured the baby in his arms, and just held her in his arms. His cute niece gripped hold of his finger, making the first bond.
"How come she cried when we held her" Dan asked.
"Obviously John is her favourite uncle" Matt laughed.
"That's favouritism" Sean spoke.
"Every female, just not fair" Dan groaned.
"I like John the best out of you lot" Matt's wife told.
"Uh ahem" Matt spoke.
"Not you moron" she kissed her husband.
"She must know who makes the most money here?" Dan told.
"Who will spoil her more?" Sean added.
"Then you're out of that Sean," Carol told her son as she started to look through the knitting book.
"Now that was low, mom" Sean groaned.
"Well if you went out there and got yourself a job"
"I'm working on my studies"
"Sleeping in till noon is your studies?" Carol asked her son.
"Noon? Well he's got better" John spoke up while he continued to hold his niece.
"Well I want you up 9am, that means Sean in the morning" Carol told her youngest son.
"Now that is something I want to see" Dan spoke.
John laughed at his brothers before he walked to the couch. He sat down still holding his niece securely in his arms.
"She's so cute, adorable. I'm sorry I missed it" John spoke.
"It's okay we know you're very busy"
"Yeah but that's no excuse, I really wish I was there…" John sighed.
Matt sat down by his brother, and touched his daughter's fingers. "You are now, that's all that matters" John smiled at his brother before he gave Shelby back to her father.
"One thing, to look on the bright side. At least she doesn't have Miss Money lot as a auntie" Sean spoke. John looked up at his brother and from his expression. Dan nudged Sean.
"Too soon, to make jokes"
"Oh okay"
"How are you dear?" Carol asked her son.
"I'm alright"
"Divorced yet?" Sean asked, Dan and Matt nudged him together.
"What? No one else is asking all the hard questions so I might as well"
"No I'm not divorced yet" John answered.
"So where is this wonderful woman you were talking about on RAW?" Carol asked.
"Left her outside? That's cold" Sean teased.
John smiled thinking of Torrie. "She's back at Tampa"
"Torrie Wilson? She's the blonde diva from Idaho isn't she?" Dan asked.
"Yeah" John nodded with a grin across his face.
"You worked with her?"
"Used to, and I've known her now…8 years. She was the only one that would actually come and talk to me when I first came into the business"
"Playboy cover girl," Sean asked.
"Trust you, to remember that" Dan rolled his eyes.
"Hey Torrie Wilson was one of the most beautiful diva, she was just so natural"
"And your brothers girlfriend" Carol added.
"I was about to say well done to John" Sean spoke.
"How long have you been together?" Matt asked John.
"Well it seems years, since we've been friends, close ones at that for many years but we got together after Survivor Series" John explained.
"Well as long as you're happy, that's all matters to me" Carol spoke.
John smiled at his family. "I am, very happy"
"That reminds me, mom" John got out the card.
"It's from Torrie"
"Aww that is very sweet of her, thank her for me. I hope we can meet her when you can come just before Christmas"
"Yeah, I think she thought it was a little too soon"
"Yes, well hopefully next time"
"She'll love to meet you guys," John answered.
"My first birthday card, hint, hint" she said to her sons.
"Okay, okay I'll get it tomorrow" Sean spoke.
"Her birthday is tomorrow, moron" Dan spoke.
"A lady I haven't met before, got me a card before you did" Carol said back.
John just chuckled, feeling like he was definitely back home. Only thing was missing, was Torrie by his side, then it would just the uttermost perfect holiday. His family and Torrie all together, that is his dream now.
Late at Night.
Torrie was sitting on the couch, with a glass of orange juice in her hand. She was watching a movie, with Lucky lying on her lap. She heard her phone buzzing, she wondered if it was John. Torrie reached in her purse, and flipped open the pink phone.
"Hello"
"How can you not tell me!" A girl's voice shouted.
"I'm sorry" Torrie giggled knowing it was Lisa Marie aka Victoria.
"I just read on the media, that you and Cena are dating"
"Oh it's all over the media?" Torrie asked.
"Yes! How, what? How and how?" Lisa asked in the phone. "I want details"
"On Sunday Night, we just ended up kissing and then we told…well I stopped him from leaving, and now we're together" Torrie told the story with a small smile across her face.
"How come you've gone quiet on your twitter?" Lisa asked.
"Oh I'm trying to find the words what to say because right now…I can think about is writing a load of words, yay, yay a thousands times" Torrie laughed.
"Well congratulations, I'm so happy for you!"
"Thanks, it's early days so for right now I'm just going to enjoy it"
"Yeah, don't be too afraid to be happy again Tor, after all you deserve it"
Torrie smiled playing with her locks between her fingers. "Thanks girl, that means so much to me" she took a few sips of her orange juice.
"And you're happy?"
"Yeah, the happiest I have been for so long. I just hope nothing goes wrong like it usually does"
"Babe what do you mean?"
"Just….when I find a little bit happiness, it just crumbles and falls to pieces and I just couldn't handle if that happened with John. It's truly everything to me, what I have with John right now Lis" Torrie poured.
"Nothing will go wrong, don't worry"
Torrie gulped down, still softly playing with her hair. "God I hope not"
"It won't, just breathe and relax and more importantly enjoy yourself"
"Thanks Lisa, listen I better go. Talk to you later"
"Alright babe, I'm always here remember that?"
Torrie smiled, "Thanks bye!" Torrie ended the call, she placed her phone on the table while she flicked through the channels. She had done a mini workout but today she had just been sitting on the couch, playing with Lucky.
Torrie leaned forwards, she looked at her phone and didn't see any calls missed or any texts. Torrie smiled softly "I'm sure he's just having a lovely time"
She got a text earlier for John saying he's in Boston, and got to his mother's safely, that was 5 hours ago, and she hadn't heard anything since. Torrie put back her phone back down, as she leaned back on the couch. She found "The Simpson's" so she left it on and just cuddled with Lucky.
It made her miss Chloe, Stewie and Pepper. They were back at Houston with her good friend. Torrie leaned her back on the couch, while she watched the television.
Suddenly her phone started to light up, she leaned over to see who the caller was. A smile came across her face when she saw the name lighting up on her phone. She picked it up, and answered it.
She put her phone by her ear, and started to speak.
"Hey you, having fun?" Torrie asked talking to John, still smiling
Now she was very happy, the sound of his voice just settled down all the thoughts in her mind, and the past didn't matter….her discovery didn't matter either.
"Amazing time, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm happy you called" Torrie spoke, while she had her fingers run through her blonde hair speaking to John.
"Any reason why?" John chuckled.
"Just wanted to hear your voice, I'm missing you so much and so is Lucky. We went to the beach today, god he loves to play and can go on and on for hours"
"Yeah, he's got a lot of energy. A very lively dog" John spoke.
"He doesn't like you working in the gym does he?" Torrie asked with a giggle.
"No he doesn't. Try and be in there when you have to train for a important match, trust me I must have trained for about 10 minutes, each time" John said.
"Obviously loves the attention" Torrie spoke.
"Yeah, so what have you been doing?"
"Oh been walking, did about a 20 minute work out and just watched television." Torrie explained, while she sat on the couch curled up under a blanket.
"So how cute she is then?" Torrie giggled.
"Very, very adorable"
"You know you could try and sneak her out, and I can sneak out my nephew. What a story to tell huh?" Torrie giggled with John.
"Yeah I don't think Matt will appreciate that" John chuckled with her.
"I bet your mom was happy to see you, my mom always cries even when I see her like weeks later" Torrie said.
"Yeah she was very happy, I'm happy to be here. No place like home."
Torrie nodded, "Yeah, did you give her card?"
"Yeah she had thank you very much"
"I will get her something special for Christmas, you'll just have to help me" Torrie spoke.
"You're so sweet Tor, you know that?"
"Well I try" Torrie giggled while she curled her legs up on the couch.
"Right I better go, I just wanted to ring you to see how you're getting on." John spoke.
"Aww thank you, have a wonderful time."
"Trust me, best holiday I have had in years" John spoke. "Oh mom says next time I come down here, you are coming with me"
Torrie giggled. "Okay, I'll be looking forward to that"
"Good, take care darling. Bye"
Torrie sat there, and still he hadn't said three words she needed to hear right now. "I love you" her heart needed to hear them right now. He will say it if she said it first….
Torrie bit her lip gently, "John?"
"Yeah"
Torrie felt a breath pass through her lips. She was about to ask him about the frames she had found. She wanted to ask but she felt scared of the answer she would get. She wanted to know but she didn't want to ask.
"Nothing…I'll see you at the weekend, love you"
"Are you sure?" John's answer.
Torrie gulped down her tears as she still didn't hear it. Even after she had spoke the words, but his words were left unspoken.
She felt like she was screaming out, but all she got in return right now…was her echo. She wished John would all the cards on the table, and tell her exactly what he wants…because she's not capable of reading his mind. She can't tell what's going on his mind. She feels him turning his back, shutting her out and not telling her what is going on.
She wanted a sign from him, so she knew she wasn't her own. She wasn't holding onto something that just isn't going to last. She wanted to know, seek a sign…that she wasn't alone, and not the only one that wanted this relationship to work.
"Yeah, see you real soon. Bye, love you" Torrie hung up the phone, and let the phone slid out of her hands. Her eyes landed on the cupboard, where the frames lie.
That door could result in her dreams come crashing down, if it's once again opened.
Right now, all she could do now…is hope.
She's in love with John, that to lose him…would break her in half.
…..
John was sitting outside on his mom's doorstep, when Torrie suddenly said goodbye. "Okay…bye.." he heard the dialling tone.
John let his phone slid from his ear, he looked up at the night sky. He wondered if he should ring back Torrie? He let a breath through his lips, feeling his body shrug down after he let the air release.
It was a cold night, almost freezing as John remembers. Boston is always cold in winter. It was getting very cold at the moment, but it didn't bother him. He had too much on his mind right now.
"John, wanna play a game?" Matt asked, same sort of voice, something out SAW.
"Huh?"
Matt sat down next to him. "Are you okay?"
John nodded "Yeah, just rang Torrie. She seemed down about something"
"Probably missing you, I remember Torrie" Matt told.
"You do?" John turned to him.
"Yeah, she was always the one that you would be around on tour. Always laughing and smiling together. I always had a mini bet with myself that you would one day be with her, and look at that I'm right"
John smiled softly "Yeah…but sometimes it's not that easy"
"What do you mean?"
John sighed as he looked up at night sky. "There's just a long way to go"
"You love her don't you?"
"More than anything, more than I thought I ever could"
"That's all that should matter"
John nodded his head. "why can't say it then?"
"What?"
"That I love her"
"Emm…John you did on TV"
John sighed, "Why can't I say it to her, with me and her…why? I can say the words but it just I don't know….something just is pulling in my chest".
"Maybe you're not ready to let go"
Cena listened and started to shake his head back and forth. "No, no I can't go there again."
"I'm glad you just said that, but do you want to give your marriage another try?"
John looked at him, "I don't know…." he softly muttered.
"Do you?" Matt repeated.
John looked at his brother, "No I don't, but something is still there making me want to try, and I don't know how to get rid of it….I don't want to lose Torrie, but Torrie has been through so much? If she catches on, I'm screwed."
"Do you want to be with Torrie,"
"Yes"
"Well then that's all that matters, you never know by next Christmas. We might have another baby here?" Matt hinted.
John just chuckled "Yeah I don't think so"
"Well sometime in the future, John if you could see a future out there with you and Torrie then everything will be alright in the end. Because you'll make sure of it"
"I don't know….everything's mess. I can't get hold of Liz…I have been trying to phone up my lawyer all day, and yesterday to file for divorce" John explained
"And?"
"Every time I try. I just can't do it" John sighed.
"Sometimes it can be hard to let go, John. She was always in your life…on and off…she became your life just like WWE did"
"Matt, I really want to make it with Torrie so badly I do, I love her so much I really do, but some reason…I find it hard to say it. I mean I do love Torrie, I care so much for her….her Ex came back, and I almost threatened to kill him"
"Well that proves you feel something very strong and deep. But don't do that, go to prison it would seriously ruin the family"
"I'm not going too." John rubbed his temple as he looked on feeling the cold breeze in the night feeling his heart fill up with doubt.
"But what if….I can never make that phone call. I still have the….Oh god! The frames!" John's face lost colour when he remembered.
"What's wrong?"
"Frames! Oh god. I'm an idiot! Frames!" John kept saying.
"John, what are you on about?"
"I still have pictures around my house," John panicked.
"Pictures?" his brother was lost.
"Me and her,"
"You and Torrie?"
"No me and Elizabeth" John buried his head in his hands.
"And that's bad because?"
"Torrie's there, at my house right now. What if she sees them?" John asked, worried.
"Well are they on the wall?"
"No I put them in the cupboards under the TV…oh god…" John rubbed his temple, worried that Torrie will find them and get the wrong idea.
"It's okay"
"No it's not, you don't understand. Torrie is dealing with some personal things and if she finds the frame….oh god she's so going to get the wrong idea"
"It's early days John, still too soon. I'm sure she will understand"
"You don't know Torrie, she'll freak out I know she will"
"Well there's not much you can do, if she does ask then just….assure her….even if it takes you all night, to say you love her" Matt told.
John nodded his head. "Yeah I guess your right," He stood back up and walked back into his mother's house with his brother.
Inside he was hoping, everything would be okay.
…
Torrie got changed in her night clothes, one day had come and gone. First day she was without John, she had a few more days before he comes back to Tampa. Torrie climbed into the bed, she got comfortable and warm from the night weather.
Torrie leaned her head down on the white pillow. She felt the winds collide with the windows in the bedroom, her eyes look at the side where John was lying last night.
He wasn't there this time. No presence, no voice. Nothing.
She wished she didn't find those frames, because that just made the doubt rise back up again. She wished she didn't leave her phone call with John that way. It didn't help with her doubt, it just made it stronger. Because of her hanging up like that, it could have shown John. Something was wrong.
Torrie didn't want to do anything to ruin this, she felt scared to even think of living her life after John…life after him is not what she wants at all.
"Life after you is not what I want John" Torrie mumbled.
Torrie closed her eyes, ready to fall asleep into the night. But her phone buzzing from the bedside table stopped her from doing so. She picked it up and read the message.
"Good night sweetheart, I love you never ever forget that. Miss you xoJohnx"
Torrie just looked at the message, again she felt the love shadow her doubt. She texted back "Love you too Night sweet dreams, see you real soon. Miss you so much
XTorx"
Torrie put her phone down, and just lied down on the bed. Her eyes closed and fell asleep in moments, touching the side where John would lie beside her asleep.
As she slept, she didn't notice her phone lighting up.
…...
"Hi this is Torrie, I'm not here right now. Please leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Mwah" The sweet voice faded, when the beep happened.
The man just clipped his phone shut, a smirk came across his face. He had found the perfect plan.
The Night Continued To Fall.
But what's that saying? Every Storm, There's a Sunrise. A storm was brewing silently in John Cena's and Torrie's life…only they just didn't know it yet, soon. They both will find out, that nothing lasts forever.
Thanks for the reviews guys! We're moving on pretty fast with this story lol. Keep those reviews coming please. :)
xoxox
Next Time: Torrie is at John's house with Lucky, a knock on the door goes? who is at the door? Torrie goes to her family's house for thanksgiving, and finds out that her brothers don't like Cena. Will John's mind become more clear? and is he holding onto his marriage?