DISCLAIMER: *snatches the Ring back from Spock* Mwahahaha! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges is MINE, all MINE! YES! *Scotty beams the Ring out of Xaja's hand* HEY!

Scotty owns Star Wars. I don't. Dammit.

I know you guys want for it to be an update for 'Castaway', but the muse is currently silent on that story. However, I have two bunnies for NLM, both inspired by BlackDeath6. Thank you! (Second one shall be posted later today.)

Ren Ankh: I love emotionally torturing Cin, can you guess? (I fangirl him, I'm allowed to!) I agree with you on the concept of biological family to a Jedi- I don't think I'd want to be a Jedi if it meant I couldn't have a family. (Although, the lightsabres are really cool... *ponders*)

This one is actually *gasp!* Obi-Wan-centric. Most definitely a T. Dark subject matter. Consider yourselves warned.

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It hurt so bad. He could pretend everything was fine around his friends, but when he was alone... It all came crashing down.

Every morning, he would force his eyes open, wondering the same thing as he had the previous dawn. Why would the Force permit that to happen? Why am I still suffering for it? What does it matter anymore? He wanted the lingering pain, both in his body and in his spirit, to leave, but his silent pleas to the Force went unheeded.

He would force himself through the ordinary, mundane actions of life- he'd shower, eat breakfast, attempt to meditate, and sit through class before pushing himself through intense physiotherapy to regain his lost mobility in his left arm. And all throughout the day, he'd ask himself if it was really worth it. As he gritted his teeth in therapy, he pondered, Was this the plan the Force had for my life- to put me through hell and make me suffer for it the rest of my life? What the Sith did I do to deserve this?

It was moments like that when he cursed the existence of the Force. The Masters say that the Force is benevolent and kind. Huh, right. If it was really as the Masters say, this would never have happened. Zara and I would never have been captured or hurt and that spice mine would never have existed and Nar Shaddaa would be a safe place and there would be no suffering in the galaxy anywhere.

More than once, he thought about asking Qui-Gon for help. But... no. Qui-Gon must never know of this. I am to be his 'Perfect Padawan', and a perfect Padawan doesn't admit to their Master that they doubt the Light Side of the Force. No- I can't let him down.

And so he continued on in his daily struggle, using every ounce of strength in his body to maintain the mask he wore around everyone else. He couldn't let anyone know of his pain and anger directed at the Force. He went through the motions of every day numbly, shutting down his emotions. He never noticed Qui-Gon's anxious glances in his direction, or the way his friends acted around him, trying to get him to open up. He never even noticed Master Yoda's concerned frowns in his direction.

All he felt was anger at the Force. And he felt the Force's darkness in response.

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Yes, I know Obi-Wan is slightly OOC in this. No, I do not care. Yes, I would like reviews for this.

Thanks for reading!

Xaja