Finding Home

(the sequel to "No Better Mistake")

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, or any other related characters from the world of Harry Potter. I also don't own the setting, plot lines, relationships, etc. ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING, not me.

NOTES:

And sooo.. the real drama has begun. Sirius is lying, Remus is meeting a flirty guy... We'll see how this all goes down. : P Full moon!

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7

"Full moon tonight," said Sirius, first thing, as he Apparated into their living room later that evening. "Hello," he amended, crossing the room to hug Remus, who had been sitting at the kitchen table, writing a letter back home. "Sorry, but it's all I've been thinking about all day. First time in the new place."

"I know," said Remus, as if he had needed any reminding. He, too, was obviously nervous about the transformation that would occur in a few hours time. He knew the amount of land they were living on would provide plenty of recreation for the large werewolf and full-grown dog, and he and Sirius had spent the entirety of last weekend ensuring that there were no Muggles in a several-mile radius, but still, he felt apprehensive. Logically, he knew the situation was no more dangerous than what they were used to at Hogwarts and Hogsmeade (where, to be honest, there were many more chances to bite a witch or wizard around every corner), but he felt nervous not knowing the land, and not knowing how the werewolf would react to it. It would also be the first time in three years that the other two of their group would not be present—Peter hadn't even responded to Sirius' owl a few days ago, and James had regretfully informed them that he had an away game with the local Quidditch team he played for that he just couldn't miss. Tonight, it would be only Remus and Sirius, and while Sirius was confident that he could keep a werewolf in check, Remus wasn't so sure. It seemed that the older he got, the more ferocious the werewolf became, and it had become necessary for him to have some sort of other creatures present over the past few years.

"Maybe," he tried again—this was the third time in the past two days—"Maybe I should just go into that back shed; stay there the whole night."

"No," Sirius insisted, shaking his head, "I'm not letting you do that to yourself, Moony. Looked up in that little room all night? You know the wolf would go crazy to get out, and then what? You'll hurt yourself too much if you force yourself into that tiny space."

Remus knew he was right, but still, he felt that the idea of suffering harsh injuries the next day was somehow better than seeing what he might do to Sirius without a large stag to counter his attacks. "But you, you can't go to the Ministry all beat-up, what if I—?"

"It's fine," Sirius insisted, brushing past him to pull the supplies for two sandwiches out of the fridge, "we've got dittany. We've got those new books on healing charms. I promise, we'll both look fine to go into work tomorrow, even if we are exhausted."

Remus nodded, finally accepting his fate, sitting down at the kitchen table as Sirius placed an over-large sandwich before him. "I know you're not hungry," he said, before Remus could open his mouth, "but you've got to eat something. You look thin."

Remus had managed to gain a few pounds over their last year at Hogwarts, but the combination of N.E.W.T. stress and then, later, the lack of cooking skills from himself and Sirius had caused him to lose it all again. Prior to the full moon, he alternated between periods of ravenous hunger and virtually no appetite, but always after his transformations he didn't eat much of anything. Reluctantly, he picked up his dinner and took a few bites as Sirius watched, nodded encouragingly but not eating much of anything himself. He was watching the clock, knowing when it would begin to grow dark, and mentally trying to remember what they needed for the night. As if wanting to break the tension, Sirius told Remus, in detail, about his day—himself and the other interns had been separated into small groups, and as part of their preparations, were now made to learn and perform complex spells. Sirius' group was currently practicing defensive magic.

"—I'm the only one in the group that can really do a full Patronus, see; Kevin is still terrible at it; but Andrea's got a really powerful stunning spell—"

"Who are they?" asked Remus, puzzled.

"Oh—didn't I tell you? They're the other people in my group. They were both in Ravenclaw; Andrea went abroad for a year or two but Kevin just finished with us. He's a big, blonde bloke, loads of money…" Remus thought he vaguely remembered who Sirius was talking about, but he continued nevertheless: "but then after we did that it was just papers, papers, papers. I swear, I don't know how those Aurors think that writing a essay is going to protect me from an Unforgiveable Curse," he shook his head. "But… what can you do."

Remus nodded again. He was quite interested in what Sirius had to say, but he could hardly remain concentrated. His brain kept racing forward to the night ahead of them, and, already, he was beginning to feel ill. Sirius, seeing the look on his face, beckoned him to say seated ("eat," he growled) and went upstairs to fetch the things they'd need. They were going out to the middle of the property, and locking the house into daylight, so that Remus, as a werewolf, wouldn't be tempted to destroy it. As Sirius handed Remus the rest of what they were taking—several blankets, mostly—they left the house together, closing the door behind them and burying the key in a nearby flowerpot.

"Here we go," said Sirius breathlessly as the sun continued to set, making his way with Remus further back onto their property. As it grew darker, Sirius nudged his friend to prompt him to reluctantly begin removing the clothing that would soon grow too small.

"I'll be here when you transform," Sirius reminded him as Remus, red-faced, handed him his garments, now shivering in the early night. "And don't tell me not too, Moony, it's nothing I haven't seen."

Though he was upset by it, Remus knew this was true. Until September of last year he had avoided his friends physically seeing his transformation, but ever since the first night Sirius had witnessed it—the same night, in fact, that they'd confessed their feelings for one another—he had been with him every time, holding his hand as a human up until the last minute, or laying, whimpering, as a large dog as his feet.

"Just make sure you're changed this time before it happens," muttered Remus, "without James around, I wouldn't want—"

"I know, I know," said Sirius, and, glancing toward the sky, he transformed swiftly and suddenly into a great, black dog. Remus continued to shiver, knowing that, within minutes, his incredibly painful monthly change would begin. He felt extremely vulnerable standing in the vast field, unclothed and nervous, with Sirius, as a dog, prowling about his feet.

And then, suddenly—a cloud moved in the sky—it happened. Remus felt his body begin to violently quiver, the horrible, overwhelming sense of dread and panic that always filled up crashing over him like a tidal wave. He wanted it to stop, to slow time, and yet he knew there was nothing he could do; no way to halt the pain that was now beginning to coarse through his every muscle. Unable to stand, he crouched on the grass, still conscious enough to wave Sirius away with his hand, eyes, screwed up as he suppressed the shriek building inside of him. It was unbelievable, to feel bones break and re-form within his very body, finally growing too large for his skin and bursting through his joints, softened only by the thick, matted hair that was rapidly spreading across every inch of his very exposed skin. His teeth and nails lengthened, and sharpened, and Remus dug them into the flesh of his own knees, drawing blood. The transformation, he knew, took only a number of seconds, but the pain stretched on for what felt like hours—every vessel, every vein on fire, hearing a scream that he knew was his, but he could not control, his brain slipping in and out of coherent thought—

And then, as abruptly as it had begun, it was over, and Remus was no longer himself. He couldn't think, he couldn't speak; all he could do was run. All he wanted to do was attack.

The enormous, shaggy dog pounced on him before he could act, flipping the werewolf to its back and then taking off into the night, rippling through the overlong grass. Howling, the wolf took off after him, but the dog was equal in size and in strength. Every time he snapped for its tail or made to catch up with it, it changed course, or growled back with such intensity that the overlarge werewolf cowered. Before long, the pure, animalistic rage in the animal had begun to cease, and it chased the canine through the thick woods of the area with its mind blank, its feet, pounding. Two or three times he caught up him, bounding on top of him like an animal on its prey, but the dog sprang back again, pushing the werewolf off and beginning their game of tag once more. The playfulness of it all seemed to calm the wolf slightly—it paused to take it the new scenery, smells, and sounds, but it did seem to recognize the other creature beside him, though the mournful howls he frequently issued let Sirius knew that this creature possessing his best friend was missing the other two that normally ran about with them.

By the time the sun had risen, both large dogs were exhausted, but Sirius was content to watch, from a considerably distance, as the sky changed to pinky-rose, and the werewolf, who had collapsed by a nearby tree, change slowly back into the sleeping form of Remus.

Though exhausted, Sirius summoned all his remaining energy to transform back into a human, knowing that, if he didn't, Remus and himself would sleep outside all night, even when their home was only a few hundred yards away. Pulling a blanket over him, Sirius managed to lift Remus, who barely stirred, onto his back. He left the other clothes and supplies outside, retrieving only the hidden key, but he found himself too weak to continue upstairs, so he carefully placed Remus on the downstairs couch, curling up on the floor beside him.

Remus, though battered, looked peaceful in sleep, wrapped in a blanket like a newborn child. Sirius was relieved to see that he didn't look too bruised—he felt his own face, as well, noticing only a little blood from a cut on his bottom lip—and he sighed, thankful, at least for this month, the hardest part was over. His legs ached from the running they'd done, and he knew, come the real morning, it would be difficult to rise, especially as he now lay on the stiff floor. Now, he gazed up at his boyfriend's still form. Remus' face was alight somewhat from the outside sunshine, and Sirius, grateful, took the hand that draped down from the sofa; grinning, despite his fatigue, at the small smile that crossed Remus' face, even in sleep. With a final look at his friend, as if to reassure himself that everything was all right, Sirius finally shut his eyes, closing himself off from the world in the peaceful, un-knowing, oblivion of sleep.

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Thoughtsss? :D