Finding Home
(the sequel to "No Better Mistake")
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, or any other related characters from the world of Harry Potter. I also don't own the setting, plot lines, relationships, etc. ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING, not me.
NOTES:
Sorry for such a long gap! It was just crazy with my birthday and now Christmas. Thank you guys so much for all the birthday wishes as well!
Here's a steamy chapter to warm up the Christmas. ; ) hahah
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9
Remus was waiting at the kitchen table when the faint pop in the hallway told him that Sirius had come home. He heard him drop his bag and shoes heavily to the ground, and as he entered the kitchen, he stood up from his chair to greet his boyfriend.
The sight of Remus, looking calm and, for the most part, uninjured, was like a shot of energy to an otherwise exhausted Sirius. He felt, like he had earlier that morning, extremely grateful; grateful that they had made it through a tiring night, and that the Remus standing in front of him was smiling, still whole, still happy, despite Sirius' rude departure that day, and still blissfully unaware the lies he had told only moments before. Despite his guilt, Sirius wordlessly opened his arms, and Remus folded himself perfectly in, pressing his cheek into Sirius' neck and listening to his steady, slow heartbeat.
Inside his mind, Sirius was struggling. He couldn't quite put a finger on why he felt so guilty about lying at work; after all, as he had reassured himself before, he was certain Remus was aware that his job put certain limitations on them. What bothered Sirius was that he couldn't be honest, he couldn't be himself… despite the fact that he had unnecessarily made up a double life, the fact remained that it would have been impossible to tell the truth. Sirius' Ministry job, and what it required of him, was changing him somewhat, and Sirius felt a painful tug as he remembered how earlier that day he had been forced to leave. He knew Remus would understand—he did, after all, have to make a living—but it made him sad to think about the mornings they used to have; just the two of them together. After a few moments, Sirius, his hands, flat against Remus' back, spoke: "Moony… about this morning…"
Remus cut him off, drawing back slightly from their embrace to look up at his friend. "You were amazing," he told him, as they broke apart, smiling again. The fingers of his right hand were twisting a few locks of Sirius' dark hair over and over again, his other hand curled into Sirius' chest. "Amazing," he repeated, "I can't imagine how you put up with me last night."
"It was nothing," Sirius muttered, still feeling guilty. "You know that…"
"But you were alone," Remus reminded him, "really, Padfoot, I can't thank you enough."
"You don't have too—" Sirius began, but Remus cut him off again, this time with a kiss so intense that Sirius felt himself back up a tiny bit. Remus, though never reluctant to engage in any kind of activity, was not usually one to initiate it, or—as Remus was now opening the buttons on the other's shirt, his lips trailing down his neck—be as aggressive about it as he was now. If Sirius had been tired before, he now found himself more awake than ever, his hands finding the back of Remus' head as the boy now struggled with his belt buckle. It was like Remus had just raised a very large eraser to Sirius' conscious. Thought he knew he didn't deserve it, if this was how Remus wanted to "thank him", he could hardly complain, and he didn't seem to have the willpower to stop him, when Remus, as always, was what Sirius wanted so badly.
Remus was now attempting to pull Sirius' pants off his hips, their lips, crushed together as if they were one strangely conjoined body instead of two. They were falling into something comfortable and familiar, and yet new; fresh, and exciting. Sirius let out a low moan as Remus, his cool hands tight onto Sirius' hot flesh, began to caress, up and down… Now, Sirius allowed him to succumb further to feelings of bliss, unable to concentrate on anything other than the feeling of Remus' grip, let alone the shame he had felt only moments ago.
"Not here," Sirius groaned, his mouth still pressed into Remus', his voice sounding husky. "Upstairs…"
Remus didn't need telling twice. He pulled Sirius, by the hand, up the narrow staircase that led to their bedroom. He seemed to be unwilling to break their embrace, walking backward up the stairs as Sirius took one of his lips in both of his own, feeling Remus' tongue now inside his own mouth. Remus' eagerness, and his persistent, only drove Sirius further into his thoughtless oblivion. This was the man that he loved, and who loved him back, despite all his flaws. As they fell backward onto the mattress, Remus, underneath the older boy, fiddled with the remaining buttons of Sirius' shirt until he could pull it off his shoulders—Sirius himself pulled the tie he wore over his neck, throwing it aside—the t-shirt he wore underneath following suit. In their normal positions as they now were, Remus hurriedly continued his quest to remove Sirius' slacks; a second later, he grasped his own t-shirt and jeans, tossing them onto the floor. When the last of their clothing was removed and nothing separated them any longer, Remus used an arm to prop himself up, pulling his right leg up and over Sirius so that he was crouched on top of him, his mouth locked tightly on a spot on Sirius' tan chest.
Eyes shut, head back, Sirius continued to moan as Remus' mouth moved further down his body. It seemed as though Remus was omitting Sirius' mistakes, one by one, with each kiss, lick, and nibble he laid upon Sirius' body, and Sirius was all too eager to accept it. Quickly, though, he seemed to reach what it seemed he was really after. As Sirius felt Remus' lips upon him, he sighed, grasping in both hands the sheets, which were loose, and falling, on either side of him. It seemed that Remus was slowly savoring a very unique treat—the way his mouth and his head moved skillfully up and down; his lips, hot, paused every few seconds to plant a small kiss on the most sensitive parts of Sirius' body. It was clear, to Sirius, that there could be no better feeling, no higher ecstasy… except, of course, when Sirius felt Remus' hands attempting to pull him up, moving their chests even closer together, pulling Sirius' hands out of their clenched fists. In a haze, Sirius reached down to quickly stroke, pulling his own, slippery hand back upward to not-so-hastily find Remus, whose moans quickly matched his own as his whole body begin to tense and writhe under the new intrusion. In what seemed like only a few seconds later, Sirius slipped inside the boy.
For what seemed like the hundredth time, Sirius was glad that they lived alone, together, without the addition of someone else, because now he felt as though both himself and Remus were making enough noise to alert anyone who might have been in the building. It was unbelievable, how, after being with Remus for quite a while now, every time they were together could be so different, and still feel so amazing… Sirius eyes were half-closed as he heard his own, ragged breath, grasping Remus' legs to pull him even closer in, making out, just barely, the fact that Remus was now gripping the sheets in the same way he had done… All shame, all worry, all negative thoughts were vanished by pure, animal need, and Remus seemed incredibly willing to do the same thing. Sirius had no concept of time, or location, only feelings, delicious, hot, friction feelings…
Perhaps it was because Sirius had never been with anyone he loved as much as Remus, or perhaps it was because Remus was particularly wonderful, but for whatever reason, when Sirius felt himself subside to the feelings now bursting through him, it was, time and time again, a uniquely erotic experience. For a second it was though he ceased to really exist at all—unable to see anything but black, or hear anything other than a dull, buzzing; only able to feel the seemingly endless waves of pleasure that crashed throughout his entire body. He was only dimly aware of Remus' sharp gasps and his own, rapidly sweating chest; he was unable to focus on anything at all until his body was spent, until he found himself slowly pulling away from his lover, feeling Remus' once again press lips against his, wet with perspiration…
They were both panting; Sirius now leaning back onto the bed pillows and Remus falling toward him as well, his flushed face against Sirius' heaving chest. Though they were both sticky, and covered in sweat, Sirius pulled Remus in even tighter, savoring every inch of their bodies pressed together. In the aftermath of their storm, he couldn't bear the thought of being separated, as if drawing apart would somehow break this beautiful, sensual connective thread that stretched between them. His head was swimming, but he could feel their simultaneously pounding hearts gradually begin to slow down. Remus slowly moved his hands up Sirius' arms, digging into Sirius' upper arms lightly with his nails, his hair, which now hung in damp tendrils, lying limply across his eyes. Sirius brushed this out of the way to look down at his closed eyes, gently running a finger down the side of his cheek.
"Remus," Sirius said, finally, after a few moments of silence that had been broken only by the sounds of their continued sighs. The other opened his eyes, looking up at him. In the dim light of the room, Remus' amber eyes glowed greenish; gleaming, and multi-facetted, much like the fossils of their color. He was smiling again, but rather weakly. The exhaustion that had reverberated through Sirius earlier that day was slowly ebbing back, and much stronger now. It was becoming a struggle to remain awake, especially as it seemed he had just spent the last of energy.
"Love you," he reminded Remus thickly, who murmured back the same, pushing himself up the tiniest bit to kiss Sirius once more. They hadn't eaten at all, and both desperately needed a bath, but the moonlight flickering through the curtainless windows was impossible to ignore; the slow, steady sounds of their breath seemed like a lullaby in the empty, silent room, and in only a few minutes, Sirius felt himself finally give in, once again, with Remus still clutched to his chest, to much-needed sleep.
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You all are great greatttt. Hopefully this warmed up things.. (I'm so bad...) as it's snowing here in NC!