Finding Home

(the sequel to "No Better Mistake")

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, or any other related characters from the world of Harry Potter. I also don't own the setting, plot lines, relationships, etc. ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH HARRY POTTER BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING, not me.

NOTES:

Not much to say. Going back to school soon but I will posting chapters still very frequently!

o o O O o o O O o o O O o o

11

"You did not say that!"

"I did!" laughed James, trying, and failing, to maintain his composure, his glasses resting crookedly on the bridge of his nose. Remus snorted into his glass. "I had to say it… you should have seen the look on his face when I asked him, though—'how much of that broom is actually up your ass—'"

Even Lily couldn't hide her laughter as the four dissolved into peals of giddiness. James was nearly crying now, and Sirius, pausing only to take a sip of his drink, was grinning. Seated at the small kitchen table at Remus and Sirius' house, the four were enjoying a cramped, but rather hysterical meal, and James, who had just gotten back from a game of Quidditch, was reiterating how he had achieved getting kicked off the pitch, just as, in his words, "he was playing the greatest game of his life." Lily shook her head, looking extremely amused.

"'Greatest game of your life'… honestly, James," she rolled her eyes his way, but Sirius winked, "I don't know why I bother with you; you're such a liar."

Remus, who privately agreed, now reached over to pour everyone further helpings of the wine they were drinking. Changing the subject, Lily turned to him. "I can't believe you two made all of this," she gestured to the now near empty plates, "It was delicious."

"I didn't do anything," said Sirius immediately, "it was all him."

"My friend Matt helped," admitted Remus, humbly accepting her compliment. "He's been quite eager to do it after he met Sirius a few weeks ago…"

James and Sirius dissolved into peals of laughter once more. It was now nearing the end of August, only a few days before Remus' eighteenth birthday. The next night, Remus would undergo another transformation—but this time, all three boys were hoping it would be much more like his ones at Hogwarts, with James, transformed into a large stag, roaming the land with them. Although Remus was now sure that he and Sirius could handle a full moon alone, he was looking forward to James' presence. Things were, by no means, bad, or even awkward between Remus and his boyfriend, but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore Sirius' changing attitude. More and more often, he talked off his peers and colleagues, and Remus was startled to find that he was alarmed, and a bit jealous of Sirius' new life. He compensated for this by finding himself growing closer to Matt, who, now that he had discovered the secret of their relationship, had no reservations in discussing Sirius' life with Remus—as he had clearly let him friends know. As Remus had said, he had even helped him in cooking dinner that night—he'd written out a step-by-step plan for him as they'd sat together that afternoon. Still, despite all of this, the meal they were having with their friends was comfortable, not forced, perhaps because it reminded them all of the many dinners they'd had, only a few months prior.

"So, Remus," Lily began, finally changing the subject as all four wiped their eyes, "what are you planning to do for your birthday?"

Remus cast a questioning glance over at Sirius, who sat next to him. It was a Thursday night, but the boy was looking more like his old self—in his favorite jeans and flannel shirt, his bare feet curled up on their rickety, wooden chairs. His cheeks were still slightly flushed from laughter. Now, he reached over on the table, placing a hand on top of his. "I think we can figure something out," he said, in a would-be innocent tone, but James pulled a face.

"She meant besides the fucking," he groaned, rolling his eyes, and Sirius, dropping Remus' hand, flicked one of his remaining peas in his direction.

"Probably just hang out," Remus replied to Lily, dodging James' swat across the table. "I doubt I'll feel too great after tomorrow, even with James there," he amended, nodding toward the boy, who smiled at him, then resumed in attempting to grab Sirius into a headlock.

"Come over to our place," Lily suggested, smiling at him kindly. "James and I will cook something this time." She too, was somewhat flushed in the face, but it suited her, and Remus grinned at her. After getting more of a grip on their own lives and cooking, Sirius and Remus hadn't been over to their friend's home nearly as often, but, with the exception of Remus' parents, she was the main recipient of Remus' owls. After the previous year at Hogwarts, Remus felt more comfortable than ever discussing whatever challenges he was facing with Sirius with Lily, who was very understanding, and always had a word of good advice. Of course Remus loved his very loud (and still arguing) male friends, but Lily was almost like a sister to him, and he was more grateful than he could tell her for the part both he and Sirius knew she had played in James' acceptance of their relationship. It was hard to believe he might have ever been uncomfortable with it, however, as James was now holding Sirius around the neck, clearly just as comfortable doing this as he had been before he'd learned that Sirius was having sex with a man. However, at the sound of Lily's voice, he stopped.

"We will?" asked James, releasing his gasp on Sirius, clearly worried, and, at the horrified look on his face, they all dissolved into giggles again.

o o O O o o O O o o O O o o

"Come on," Sirius muttered, his eyes flicking back to his watch. He adjusted himself in his seat, attempting to, once again, look engaged in the man droning on before him, but his mind was elsewhere; many miles away. He wished, now more than ever, that there were real windows in the Ministry building instead of the stupid, enchanted ones; he knew, by the time, that it was growing closer to dark, but he wanted to see just how much the sun had already set. He didn't have much time before night fell, and he was growing more anxious by the second.

Casting a glance his way, Kevin grinned, but Sirius ignored it, tapping his fingers impatiently. He should've sent an owl to Remus, or James, before he'd entered into his bore-fest, but now—he glared irritably at the speaker, who was several yards away—it was too late. There was no way he could send a message home at this point. His only option was to wait it out, and hopefully, it would be over soon. It seemed that every time the man paused, as if to conclude, he would start up again, sending Sirius into a further spiral of frustration. Didn't these people know that he had to be home now, that the moon was rising faster than they knew…?

Finally, finally, what seemed like the world's longest speech came to a close, and Sirius was the first out the office door, jamming the notes he hadn't taken into his bag. Now, more than ever, it was horrible to live a double life; frustrated with himself for not being honest from the start. He jabbed at the elevator doors, willing them to open faster…

"What's up?" asked Kevin, who had appeared at Sirius' elbow, and he had to suppress an exasperated sigh. As each day passed, Kevin was pressuring him more and more to spend time with him outside of their job. He seemed to actually want to be friends, something that simultaneously pleased and annoyed Sirius. With their workload growing heavier, he felt he barely had enough time for Remus as it was, and the idea of adding on the addition of extra, needy people was more than Sirius could stand.

"Girlfriend's sick," Sirius grunted. He could picture Remus, alone with James, walking out into the middle of their empty field. James didn't know that if Remus didn't eat before the sunset, he'd throw up the next morning; he didn't know about the panic Remus felt, right before he transformed—always, James had looked away for that part. Sirius had been the most observant of Remus' behavior, even before they were a couple—James was always content to take the backseat, and Sirius had become even more aware of the ins and outs of Remus' personality as they continued to live together. James didn't know that the werewolf liked its canine companion best, or that it would be angry at its absence… Sirius choked down another sigh as the elevator began to take them up to the main floor, where he could finally Apparate home from. He couldn't miss another transformation. He swore he wouldn't do this again, no matter what; he had to be there for Remus…

On the ground level, Sirius could now see the dim light that shone from the windows, a brilliant, red-purple sunset. He should've been home over an hour ago, and on a normal day, it would hardly have mattered, but today, of all days, was no time to be late. Bidding a hasty goodbye to his colleague, Sirius turned on the spot and vanished, feeling the familiar, but still uneasy, sensation of disappearing, and then, instantly, reappearing in the very dark entryway of his home.

Dropping his thing to the floor, Sirius ran into the kitchen, which, like the room he had just exited, was dim. In fact, as he looked quickly around, he noticed that the whole house with growing very dark with the setting sun; the only light shining from a lone lamp in the living room. Remus and James must already be outside, and so Sirius quickly ran out the side door, wrenching off his choking tie and button-down in the process and abandoning them on the kitchen counter. He could see James, and Remus, some distance away, their bodies tiny in the vast field of grass.

It was an odd scene to witness. The sky was growing dimmer by the second, and Remus' silhouette was already hunched over, the tall, somewhat awkward form of James a considerably distance away. Sirius broke into a sprint now, calling out toward the two other boys, who both turned, looking in his direction. As he neared closer, he could see that Remus' eyes were already screwed up in anticipation; James, looking uncomfortable—

"Sirius," Remus croaked, reaching a shaking hand toward him as he threw himself down on the ground beside him.

"I'm here—I'm sorry—" Hastily, Sirius helped Remus remove his sweater, and jeans, opting to just let him ruin his other clothing, as James was now bending toward them. With the slight chill of the night wind, and the shifting clouds, Remus began to shiver violently, his knees curled to his chest now. Normally, at this point, he would be casting Sirius away, but perhaps from the anxiety of Sirius' lateness, or from sheer relief, Remus grasped his hand even tighter, pulling him in.

His amber eyes were burning reddish; he looked somewhat crazed, not at all like his normal self. "I thought—you weren't—"

"Me too," panted Sirius. He knew, in his right mind, Remus wouldn't be saying these things—he would be pretending like everything was fine, like it wouldn't have mattered if Sirius was absent or not, but in his moment of pain, he was weak… and he was honest. Feeling as though he was the one about to undergo the very painful shift into a werewolf, Sirius could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, the feeling of dread so thick in his chest he could hardly stand it. Without thinking, he grasped the others boy's face, forgetting that James, who had never seen them do so, was there, kissing him hard and hot and desperately. "I'm sorry," he murmured desperately, "we're here now—I'm right here—"

Remus looked dazed. He loosened his grip on Sirius' hand, curling further into himself, and Sirius nodded toward James, who had drawn very close, knowing that now, it was the moment for them to become their animal counterparts. As Sirius changed swiftly into a great black dog; James, an even more enormous stag, and Remus, moaning, began, also, to transform. Casting a final glance over at the two of them, he let out a low, mournful howl, and for what seemed like the thousandth time, the werewolf took over his body, mind, and soul.

o o O O o o O O o o O O o o

DRAMAAA. INTRIGUED?

I'm getting depressed about going back to school so leave me lots of commentsssss? yayy