Chapter 4: The approach by Shawn

The office door was opened and Gus walked into the Psych office whistling with a big smile on his face and it seemed that he almost wanted to jump for joy. When Shawn heard Gus entering the office he jerked up in the seat in which he'd been sleeping all night apparently. He followed his pal with his eyes when Gus entered the main room.

"What put you in such a happy mood, Gus?" Shawn grumbled from his seat.

"My round was really great today. I sold over ten products and they weren't some small products. They were the big ones!" Gus replied cheerfully. Then he stopped all of a sudden in the middle of the office and looked suspiciously at Shawn.

"You look like crap. Were you here all night?" Gus asked with a slight frown on his forehead.

"Yes! I pulled off a big pinball tournament." Shawn yawned and stood up from his seat to stretch himself. He heard some vertebrae popping back in their right places and stifled another yawn.

"Obviously I'm growing too old for such all-nighters! My back didn't took it well that I slept in the seat." Shawn joked and Gus was in a too happy mood to recognize that Shawn wasn't telling the truth.

"But I thought you had a date last night with Juliet?"

"Yes. We had dinner. Went to a movie. Then I dropped her off at her house. She had to be at work early today." Shawn lied to Gus.

"I'm really getting great at lying. Now I'm starting to lie to Gus." He thought sarcastically.

"What did you bring along with you, Gus? Are those smoothies?" Shawn asked to get away from the subject Juliet.

"Yes. Pineapple smoothies. Here, one extra big for you. The girl at the shop told me, I should say hi to you. You know really all employees in a three block radius around our office, I guess?"

"Well, Gus. You should always be prepared. When they will shut down the city some time because we have a bomb thread I still would be able to get my pineapple smoothie." Shawn was fully back on track. His mask was well in place.

"Yes. My happy shiny self for the outside world. I'm glad it still works after last night." Shawn walked over to his desk and dropped down in his seat. He turned on his laptop and stared at the screen until the log-in appeared.

"You know that this scenario is very unlikely, Shawn. Why should they shut down the whole city because of a single bomb thread?"

Gus walked to his own desk. Put down his smoothie and rearranged the objects on his desk until everything was in order again. Then he started his laptop as well.

"You could never be sure." Shawn replied.

They worked silently for about twenty minutes. Well Gus worked, while Shawn searched in the web for a pineapple festival. Then suddenly Gus looked up and noticed that Shawn hadn't took one sip of his smoothie until now.

"Shawn?"

"Yes, Gus!" Shawn replied with a sing-sang voice.

"What's wrong with you?" Gus was really starting to get worried. Something was definitely off about his best friend.

"Nothing. You already asked me this question yesterday. Remember?" Shawn wanted to distract him because he really wasn't in the mood to talk about the whole mess with Juliet.

"Don't start this, Shawn! Tell me! I will poke at you as long as it'll take until you tell me the truth! You know that! Something happened with Juliet? Am I right?"

Shawn looked up from his laptop and glanced over to his best friend across the aisle. He could see the determined look on his face. There was no chance he could avoid the conversation any longer. He sighed and took a deep breath.

"Okay. Yes, you are right. It's about Juliet. I told her yesterday." Shawn rushed through this confession in one single breath.

"Told her what? Ohhh! You told her that you are not really psychic?" Gus asked to be sure.

"Yes. And it was a disaster. She was royally pissed." Shawn huffed and started to tell Gus the whole damn mess. After he was finished Gus stared at him for some seconds and then he shook his head.

"Oh dude. Couldn't you be a little bit more gentle with her? I don't know. Maybe you should have approached the subject a little smoother?"

"And how should I've done that? Should I've stroked her hair while I reveal my biggest secret like she was a child?" Shawn asked with an slightly angry tinge in his voice.

"No. Sorry! But you've dropped it on her like a bomb. I'm not surprised that she responded the way she did." Gus said apologetically.

"Now I'm relieved. When you feel the same way as Juliet then I have nothing to worry about." Shawn's voice was dripped with sarcasm and he was starting to get really angry. Gus was his best friend. He should be on his side.

"No reason to get angry with me here,Shawn. I'm on your side. I only want you to see her side too." Gus got a little defensive. He wasn't accustomed to a Shawn in such a bad mood or to be more accurate angry mood.

"Sorry pal. I'm a little off here." Shawn stood up and started pacing in front of Gus's desk.

"But I really have no idea how I could fix this." Shawn stated and looked at Gus with slight despair shining in his eyes.

"Maybe you could talk to her again and try to explain it to her?" Gus asked with an unsure voice.

"But she told me to give her time. I don't think she wants to see me right now!"

"Well, I think you should still try it. You are good at talking people into something they don't want to do in the first place. Believe me. I speak out of experience."

"Gus you made a joke!" Shawn had to smirk about Gus's explanation.

"Okay maybe you are right. I should go and talk to her."

~S&J~

Head Detective Carlton Lassiter looked up from his work and over to his partner.

"What's wrong with her? She isn't her normal happy self today. Something must have happened yesterday! I would really want to know what put her in this bad mood..."

Then his gaze went to the entrance of the precinct and there was Spencer hiding behind the wall arch. Prying around the corner.

"What plan is he hatching now?"

Carlton furrowed his brows, followed the direction of Spencer's look and saw at whom he was looking.

"I should have known that Spencer would hurt her. No surprise there. I told him I would hurt him severely when he would ever hurt her in the slightest. Obviously he didn't listen to me. Apparently I must show him."

But before he had the chance to stand up Shawn was walking across the room to Juliet's desk.

"Okay. I will talk to him later."

~S&J~

Shawn stopped at the entrance and hid behind the wall arch to watch her without being seen. She looked exhausted and it cut into his heart to see her this way. He wasn't sure if he should go to her. But the whole day he couldn't think about something else than her and Gus told him to do it too. So here he was. Standing in his best jeans and his best shirt in the precinct. He had thought about wearing a tie too. But this seems to be an overkill.

"Now give yourself a push and get this really necessary talk over with."

He strolled over to Juliet's desk and stopped in front of it. She didn't look up. He wasn't sure if she was already aware that someone stood in front of her desk. She seemed so occupied with the papers on her desk. But then he saw the slight tremble of her hands holding the pencil and he knew that she was well aware of him.

"Jules?" he said with a slight tinge of uncertainty in his voice.

She looked up from her work and he flinched a little bit when her eyes finally met his. They were ice-cold and her voice was even worse.

"Mr. Spencer?" she asked with an impersonal voice.

"Mr. Spencer? Really? You are using my last name. Don't you think the people find this a little odd when you call me 'Mr. Spencer' all of a sudden?" he said with real hurt in his voice.

"She wants to go down this road? Totally ice queen?" Well, maybe he deserved it. But still.

"Okay. Shaaawn! What do you want? I told you not to come to me or wasn't I clear enough yesterday evening?" Her voice shifted from ice-cold to sharp. Didn't make him feel better. Didn't reassure him in the slightest.

"Of course you were clear. But I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole day and don't I at least have the right to explain everything to you? Please, Jules?" He was pleading now. But he really want to get a chance to explain it to her.

"I don't think you can give me a good reason why you lied all those years. But okay. I guess you're right. I should at least listen to your explanation because I'm really curious to see how you'll get out of this mess this time. Because clearly you're Houdini when it comes to this kind of stuff." She didn't smile when she said it, so it was really serious this time. He had to pull out his whole repertoire to make her see his side of the story at least.

That Juliet would forgive him in the near future? That was another story. But little baby steps were all he wanted for now. He wasn't looking for more. Because obviously there was no reason to think they could go back on the right track faster. She would not make it easy for him. He was very aware of that.

"Okay, thanks that you want to give me this chance."

"Let's go to the interrogation room." She stood up from her desk and went in the direction of the interrogation room. Her whole posture was stiff.

"This would be hard work." He blew out a breath and followed her downstairs. He really wanted to smooth her someway. She seemed to be a volcano shortly before eruption.

"I think when I would touch her right now she would explode." Shawn thought.

They walked into the interrogation room and Juliet closed the door firmly. She didn't go any further into the room. She only turned around and leaned against the door. Her eyes were as cold as before. No change there.

"Okay. Shoot, Shawn. What's your explanation?" It seemed that her voice was even colder than her eyes. A tremble went through Shawn's body as if someone poured out a bucket with ice cold water over his head.

"Oh and don't tell me some funny story. No Lego people or Duplo or some nonsense like that. It won't work this time." Juliet stated matter-of-factly without the slightest hint of emotion in her voice.

"Okkkkay?" Shawn stuttered. She really rattled him. He was stunned for one second.

"Okay this is not starting well." He thought.

"Listen, Jules. I made a mistake with not telling you earlier. I'm aware of that. I'm truly sorry. I should have told you." Shawn stood in front of her with sincerity shining in his eyes.

"Yes. You should have." Juliet replied stoically.

"Look." He approached her slowly because he wanted to be near her, but she flinched.

"Okay. No body contact then." Shawn thought slightly disappointed. His words would have more weight if he could touch her but anyway it had to be enough that he could talk to her. At least she was listening.

"I know that you are angry and you have every right to be mad. But I..." Shawn hesitated and Juliet looked expectantly at him.

"Do you remember when you were a kid and was lying in your bed? Your parents just turned off the lights?" Juliet furrowed her brows but didn't say anything which encouraged Shawn to continue his story. "And then the moon shone through the cracks in the shutter and the shadows in your room came to life? You saw in every corner a monster and wanted to shout out for your parents but wanted to be brave at the same time?" He paused and looked at Juliet with hopeful eyes.

"Shawn, no cryptic story here. This is not a fairy tale!" Juliet answered slightly annoyed.

Shawn diverted his eyes to the floor and it seemed that he had to gather his thoughts. Then he looked up again. Juliet took in a sharp breath. She hadn't seen such despair in his eyes before.

"Jules, I... I was scared. I was afraid of losing you. Now that we are finally a couple. I thought we were doing great before my confession. I'm so, so, so sorry. Jules, please believe me." He really started to get extremely desperate now.

"What if she really breaks up with me?" He thought somehow defeated. Juliet's posture seemed to unbend a little bit. Her eyes were thoughtfully locked on his. She seemed to leave her determined state of mind.

"Maybe I should give him another chance?" Juliet thought. „No he will not charm himself through my well-justified anger."

Juliet was determined to not succumb to his charm this time. Shawn watched her carefully and hoped that she began to waver. But then all of a sudden her eyes turned hard again.

"Shawn, maybe you are really sorry. Most likely." Shawn wanted to interrupt her but she hold up her hand to stop him from speaking.

"But are you aware of the position you put me into? You didn't only lie to me but I have the obligation to tell the chief the truth. You've committed a fraud, Shawn! I'm a cop. I'm representing the law and right now you are standing on the other side of it. How should I handle this situation in your honest opinion?" Juliet looked at him with slightly curious eyes, clearly waiting for his answer.

"Well, Jules. I'm quite sure that the Chief already suspects that I'm not a real psychic. So I don't think you have to tell her. Besides I solved a lot of cases for the SBPD. I think you should include this into your consideration too." Shawn joked and put his typical smirk on his face.

"Stop it. Can't you take anything seriously?" Juliet hissed. Her voice thick with rage. Her eyes weren't cold anymore. They were sending out sparks.

"Oh shit. It seems the volcano will break out any moment."

Shawn stepped back one step because it seemed that Juliet was sending out heat waves and he could be burnt any second. She made three steps in his direction and spat out the next sentence.

"Last night when I went home I punched my sandbag over an hour and imagined it was you in front of me and not the sandbag."

Shawn flinched visibly and got a little pale because he knew damn well how furious Juliet could get when she was in her 'bad-ass' cop mood. He had seen that often enough while working cases with her. But it was never directed at him.

"I can't remember the last time I was that mad at someone. Maybe Yin. Ohhh and Allison." Her voice was dangerously low and somehow qualm.

"She compares me to these psychopaths now? I didn't think she would be that mad at me when I told her my secret."

Shawn was really taken a back by this furious version of Juliet right in front of him. She stood now directly in front of him only a few inches away from his face. Panting. Her eyes flickered to his lips and then back to his eyes.

"Wow O'Hara you are crazy! You are mad at him and you still want to kiss him?"

She took two steps back to put some space between them and took a deep breath. She tried to calm herself and it seemed to work.

"Did she just want to kiss me?" Shawn shook his head totally confused now.

When she looked up at him again the ice queen was back. She hold her head high, her eyes were cold and her whole attitude was that of a calm woman.

"I think you should go now, Shawn! I've heard enough. I have to think about it. Please leave me alone now."

She turned around and went over to the two-glass-mirror. He could see that she was watching him through the mirror. But she didn't turn around.

"Okay. I will go. I will respect your wish and will not contact you until you are ready to talk to me. Good-bye, Jules." Shawn said defeated and stepped out of the interrogation room.

Juliet stood in front of the two-glass-mirror and looked at her reflection. She tried to avoid it but she couldn't stop the two tears who escaped her eyes and run down her cheeks. She took a deep breath, brushed her cheeks and straightened herself.

"Yes girl. That's right. Nobody will see your tears." Juliet thought and an unsteady but proud smirk appeared on her face.

~S&J~

Lassiter saw Shawn coming from the direction of the interrogation room but not with a jump in his step as usual. Actually he walked slouchy and his gaze was on the ground. Shortly before Shawn went out to the exit Lassiter called after him.

"Spencer? A word please?" Shawn turned around and looked at Lassiter questioningly and then a smile spread over his face.

"Oh Lassie-face I don't have time right yet. I have to go get Gus and we have to hurry to begin our pinball tournament."

"How did he do this? I know something just happened in the interrogation room. If my detective skills aren't totally rusty I would say they had a fight. How can he turn back on his annoying attitude so fast without missing a beat?" Lassiter wondered.

"Surely you could spare some time. It's about a case."

Shawn walked over to him. He was a little curious why Lassie asked him for help on a case. That was kind of strange. But when Shawn finally stood in front of his desk Lassiter started with his 'dead-serious' detective voice.

"I thought I told you what would happen to you if you messed this up!"

"What are you talking about?" Shawn was really at a loss right now.

"Detective O'Hara! I told you I would kick your psychic ass when you screw this up." Lassiter hissed.

"No need for that. She's already taken care of that." Shawn muttered under his breath.

"What? Oh she already kicked your ass? Attagirl." Lassiter said with some pride in his voice.

"Well. What case where you talking about anyway?" Shawn asked to distract from the subject.

"Spencer, do you really believe I would ask you for help on a case?"

"Oh you only wanted to give me a pep talk. Okay then I really have to go. Gus is waiting for me in the car." Shawn turned around and was heading in the direction of the exit when Lassiter called after him.

"I will watch you, Spencer."

"Yeah I'm pretty sure you will." Shawn thought while pushing the door open and walking out of the department.

At first a big thank you to my awesome beta-reader FearTheSpork.

To defend my version of Shawn in this story. I think Shawn will lose it a little bit when it comes to Juliet. He hadn't much reason until now to not be overconfident of himself. But I think the fact that he could lose Jules will throw him of the track in all likelihood.

The next chapter will take a while because I only know roughly what I want to write. Sorry I'll try to write it fast! :)