The Autumn was now well underway though it had been unusually warm all season. Hagrid had even taken to sleeping with his windows open in the evening to stave of the humidity in his otherwise draughty cottage.
In the Great Hall, Albus Dumbledore grinned from ear to ear as he twirled a small spoon around his teacup in a most dubious fashion.
"Well?"
"I beg your pardon, Remus?"
"Well…. What is it? Why the whimsical look?" The werewolf suddenly grew quite serious. "What have you done now?"
"I am sure I've no idea what you mean" Albus chuckled just a bit mischievously.
"You're up to something…"
"Oh indeed he is" Minerva piped in.
"I really have no idea what the two of you are on about" the Headmaster replied coyly.
Minerva simply rolled her eyes and turned to chat with Sybil.
"New term coming along well, Remus?"
"Yes Headmaster" Remus pushed his food around on his plate in the way a small child who is anxious to leave the table might do.
"Something troubling you dear boy?"
Remus nodded but hesitated to answer Dumbledore. "It's just… well… I've been thinking a lot about Hermione. What will happen to her? Will she be sent back to St. Mungo's? There are just… so many unanswered questions… why won't she wake?"
"You know Remus, perhaps your questions remained unanswered because you've not been asking them of the right person"
"Sir?"
The old wizard glanced at his timepiece.
"Time is a remarkable thing, isn't it? I believe it was the muggle poet Dylan Thomas who once wrote 'Time passes…Listen… time passes'…and you know what dear Lupin… it does pass." And with that, he stood and sauntered off to his office, leaving a very confused werewolf behind.
It was indeed 'business as usual' at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The first few weeks of classes came and went like a whirlwind. The castle once more hummed with activity as students filed in and out of the classrooms. Quidditch practice was in full swing and Professor Sprout's green team was already well into their independent study on rare aquatic plants, which recent alum Neville Longbottom had graciously agreed to lecture upon. Harry and Ron were busy with their new careers as Aurors in the Ministry but they still managed to pop over to Hogwarts for the occasional visit with Ginny and of course, to spend time with Hermione. But it was always the same; she was cold and still and barely resembled their dear friend at all. Draco was also quite busy with the shelter, which he had been instrumental in upgrading to a more fitting property, with better accommodations and a brand new children's wing to house orphans. Whenever Draco visited Hermione, he told her all of his plans for the future of the shelter and even included her in some of them. Somehow, the past few months of working so closely with people who truly needed his help had made the young wizard much more optimistic about his cousin's possible recovery. And this change in Draco's character certainly had not gone unnoticed by those around him. Each time he came to visit with Hermione, Severus Snape had lingered by the door long enough to hear of his progress and each time, he was more and more shocked by what he heard. Was it possible for someone to change so drastically? And what had caused this change in young Mr. Malfoy? Of course, Severus knew the answer but refused to admit it to himself. In fact, he often waged war against his own subconscious thoughts whenever they turned to young Hermione Granger.
Of all the people who had been affected by that day at Malfoy Manor, Severus appeared to be the only one who had not changed. Harry had become slightly detached and pessimistic of late. Ron seemed to be following suit and Draco had become a bloody saint. Severus wondered if he could ever change. Could he ever be forgiven for the monstrous things he had done in the past? The prophecy had named him a "severer of darkness" but now, sitting alone in his rooms, grading papers and grumbling to himself about the idiocy of first year Hufflepuffs , he wondered how someone so full of darkness could ever sever it from someone as luminous as Miss Granger. He sneered at his own musings and tried to focus on grading but found himself drifting down the well-traveled road in his tired mind that always led him back to her.
"It's getting cold" a soft voice whispered behind the Potion's Master.
Severus jumped up from his desk, wand extended outward in a defensive stance.
"Now now Severus – no need for that. I think we both know that I am quite dead" Katrina Malfoy's champagne laugh burst from her portrait, which had been hung up in Severus's office. The dark wizard slowly lowered his wand and rubbed a rough hand over his face.
"I just love Winter- don't you?" she chimed.
Severus mumbled and turned back to his grading. "It's technically still Fall" he growled.
"Yes, but with first frost, first snow cannot be far behind" she quipped back at him.
"If you don't mind " he drawled "I'm really rather busy and-" Suddenly Severus stood and grabbed his cloak.
"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Katrina inquired, with a coy eyebrow raised.
"It's been unusually warm " was his curt reply as he rushed past the portrait.
It was as if an icy blanket had been quietly placed over the school grounds in the still of night. The glass windows were cold to the touch and even the braches of the Whomping Willow now glistened with a delicate dusting of frost.
A single window in the Hospital Wing stood open. Hermione's forehead glistened with sweat, but she shivered from the onslaught of cold air, sweeping through the room. Severus hurried to the window and slammed it shut, inwardly cursing himself for neglecting to close it earlier in the evening. Severus adjusted the blankets around the witch's shivering body and thought for a moment that he ought to call for Madame Pomfrey when he suddenly found himself tending to her sweaty face with a damp cloth. He took a seat next to Hermione's bed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
What more could he do for her? What more could anyone do for Hermione now? His thoughts turned to the prophecy and he shrugged it off with an arrogant snarl. The man in the ridiculous hats was a fool to believe in such rubbish. There was nothing exact about divination… it was intangible… it could not be measured or bottled up for use at a more convenient time. Perfectly ridiculous, he thought to himself with a deep sigh. For some reason, Severus was feeling particularly at ease tonight next to Miss Granger and he reached for her hand in the silent darkness. It occurred to Severus that in all the time he had spent with Hermione over the Summer and into the Fall, he had never spoken to her. Sure, he had read to her and he had listened when others spoke to her. But he, himself, had never just talked to her. Somehow, the idea of it seemed ludicrous to him and yet when he eavesdropped on Potter and even young Draco Malfoy, he had deeply envied their ability to perform this seemingly simple-minded action.
"Hermione…" Her name had come out as a dry whisper, which might have been just loud enough for a mouse to hear and the Potion's Master chastised himself for being so… nervous.
"I… I'm not very… I don't usually talk to people that are, well…" He exhaled roughly and took a minute to gather up his thoughts- still feeling quite ridiculous. He grabbed a book from the large stack next to her bed and cracked it open to a random page and began to read John Donne's "Death Be Not Proud". His voice trembled as he read… and the words seemed to be inflected in such a way that it sounded rather more conversational than poetic.
"…And dost with poison, warre, and sickness dwell, And poppie, or charms can make us sleep as well, And better then thy stroke; why swell'st thou then? "
He watched Hermione's chest rise and fall as he had so many times before. But this moment, this single quiet moment in the cold Hospital room seemed much more precious to him than any other in the sad history of his life.
"One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die."
Severus closed the book gently and placed it with the others. His breath hitched just a little in his throat as he stood to leave.
"Stay with me" Her voice was small but so sincere.
Severus wanted to turn around. He wanted to run to her and bury his face in her hair and thank the Gods that she was unharmed. He wanted to tell her that she made him feel. Severus wanted to hold her and Hermione, who still lay in bed, too weak to move much, stared at him somewhat expectantly.
"I will call for the Headmaster, Miss Granger." He looked at her over his slender shoulder, "Welcome back."
The days passed and became weeks and now Hagrid was busy lugging pine trees about the castle in preparation of the approaching Winter Solstice and Christmas holiday. Snow had covered the castle grounds in downy white flakes and once again, the warmth from within the cold stonewalls of the school illuminated the windows with the sort of cheer that only seems to exist during the holidays.
The night Hermione had finally awakened had been a long and strange night for everyone. As he said he would, Professor Snape had roused the Headmaster along with Minerva and Poppy Pomfrey. There had been much fuss over Hermione and Severus had slipped away during all the rejoicing and commotion – retreating back down to the dark dungeon that he called home. It had not taken long for the good news to spread throughout the castle and soon Harry, Ron and Draco were crowded around Hermione's bed, laughing and talking as if no time had passed at all. But time had passed. The poor witch was severely disoriented when she woke and was rather upset when she realized just how long she had been asleep. The poor girl was so distraught at missing her N.E.W.T.s that she hardly seemed interested in hearing of the Dark Lord's demise at all. And this was how everyone knew that dear old Hermione was truly back!
After much deliberation, Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore had decided that she would sit for her N.E.W.T.s after the holiday but Hermione insisted she sit for them before. She was eager to jump right into her studies and hated the fact that Ron and Harry had already graduated without her. When the inevitable question of 'what happened in the final showdown' was asked of her, Hermione had acted strangely and every time it came up, she seemed to change the subject entirely or act as though it was a fuzzy recollection. In truth, Hermione remembered every detail of that night as if it were permanently seared to her brain. She wanted to tell Harry what she felt- what had happened, but she knew that what she had to say would sound… more than a little odd. The one person Hermione had wanted to talk to the most, brushed her off as if she were as insignificant as a pesky lacewing fly. The one person that she thought might understand what she had felt and what she had seen in that split second between life and death had simply turned from her when she wanted him most. Severus Snape… the bat… the git... the man who had been willing to give up his life to save her… the man who she had realized she loved… this man had been avoiding her for the past weeks as if she had Dragon pox.
Someone had charmed the suits of armor around the castle to sing jaunty holiday songs whenever people in close proximity uttered the words 'snow' or 'holidays' or anything remotely holiday related. To say that Professor Snape was not amused, might be the understatement of the century. He had taken to using secret passages to get around the school and when he did eat, he took his meals in his room. Not one student had a nice thing to say about the Potions Master… not that any of them normally did but he had been even more ruthless in his grading of late and had taken on an even nastier tone in his classroom, that frightened even the most stoic of Ravenclaws and the most arrogant of Slytherins.
This change in his demeanor had certainly not gone unnoticed by the staff and Professor Lupin in particular seemed almost worried about him. True, Severus had never been kind to him… but Remus had also been a Marauder and as such, he knew he had been less than kind to Severus in the past as well. Remus had received many complaints from his students about Professor Snape and the werewolf resolved that he would visit Severus and see if he couldn't get him to lay off a bit. It was nearly holiday break and because of this, Remus figured Severus would be more receptive to such a request. He could not have been more wrong.
Remus timidly knocked on Snape's office door. There was a sound from within the room but no answer. The werewolf knocked again, this time a bit louder.
The door flew open and Severus Snape stood before him, looking every bit as sinister as a ravenous cobra might.
"What?" He snapped and eyed Remus dangerously.
Remus suddenly forgot why he had bothered coming down to the dungeons at all and he froze on the spot… unsure of what to say.
"Well…Lupin…do you plan on gawking at me like a dead fish all evening or would it be possible for me to return to my lab as I am quite busy at the present time".
"I… I…"
"While we are both still young, Lupin"
"I… well… It's… I…" he stammered.
"I,I,I,I… Spit it out, you miserable mongrel"
Suddenly Remus lunged violently at the Potion's Master, knocking him to the floor. A flicker of fear passed over Snape's eyes but he quickly recovered and pinned Remus to the floor, his wand pressed firmly against Lupin's forehead.
"Don't tempt me, creature" he sneered.
Remus took a deep breath and his eyes softened.
"Severus… please. I just.. I didn't come here to fight… I came to speak with you"
Snape turned away from him and lowered his wand.
"Speak then"
Remus stood and dusted himself off. He was annoyed with himself for not having planned out better what he was going to say and suddenly a thought came to him. It all seemed so obvious… Severus had only begun to act so wickedly after Miss Granger had recovered. Could it be… surely not, Remus mused.
"Lupin" the Potion's Master snapped sharply "Please speak or leave"
"Right… of course…sorry Severus. I wanted to speak with you about… your students…" Remus began listing the various complaints, which had been filed with him regarding outrageous deadlines and unwarranted detentions when he suddenly found himself asking so bold a question, one might have wondered if he had been momentarily possessed by the headmaster himself.
"Severus… are you in love with Hermione?"
Severus Snape narrowed his gaze on the werewolf and approached him slowly, so that he stood not one inch from his face.
"Get… out"
Hermione couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned in her bed. Tomorrow she would take her N.E.W.T.s and oddly enough, this is not what kept her awake. Everyone knew Hermione could take her final exams in her sleep. No, it was not nerves, which kept her mind racing tonight. It was Snape.
"Severus" she whispered to herself. She stared at the ceiling for what seemed like hours and before she knew it, she found herself climbing out of bed and making her way toward the dungeons.
Severus Snape paced in his office. What on Earth had compelled Lupin to ask such a question? Severus uncorked a bottle of Ogden's to calm his nerves. In a few days the castle would be quiet and Miss Granger, having passed her finals, would be gone. Gone. Out of his life forever.
"Good riddance" he sneered and brought the bottle to his lips roughly. He wanted to be numb. He wanted to stop thinking about her, about what Lupin had asked, about the bloody prophecy – but mostly, he needed to stop thinking about those eyes… that kiss… Hermione. He took another swig and then a faint knock came upon the door.
Hesitantly, Severus opened the door and who should push right past him? None other than Miss Granger.
"I need to talk to you Severus" she leaned against his desk and looked him right in the eyes.
"Miss Granger… you… you are to return to your room at once"
"No"
"Twenty points from Gryffindor"
Hermione noticed the opened bottle on the mantle.
"Are you drunk, Severus?"
"You will stop using my name at once. This is intolerable. Back to your room, Granger… Now."
Hermione's face was flushed. She looked as though she wanted to slap him and cry on his shoulder all at once. She worried her bottom lip and Severus felt he would come undone. She was beautiful.
"Very well… but before I do… I… I want you to know something." She took a step closer to him and bowed her head slightly. "I know why I didn't die that night" she swallowed back a cry. "My father… Lord…"
"Don't say his name" he snapped.
"My… father" she began again "It was like he split in two… he protected me in those few moments… he activated the-"
"…bond of blood" Severus finished her sentence, to which Hermione simply nodded.
"Why have you not told anyone?" His voice was unusually dry.
" I didn't think anyone would understand… It's so easy to make him out to be a monster… It's easier if people don't recognize him as a man… as a father… as my father" Hermione allowed a silent tear to slide down her pale cheek.
"Thank you for telling me, Miss Granger" His lips tightened into a harsh line, "Now… kindly leave".
Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but no words came out. She remembered a promise she had made to herself before she was struck with the curse. 'If I live through this, I will tell him how I feel' she thought.
"I take my exams tomorrow" she waited for him to say something encouraging but he remained silent, his eyes looking anywhere but at her. "If you want to know how I feel about you… if you have even the slightest care for me at all… you will meet me in the Astronomy Tower tomorrow evening at six. If you do not come, I will leave and I will not be back."
Severus lifted his cold gaze to meet her honey colored eyes and they stared at each other for what seemed an eternity.
"I cannot" he bit out quickly.
"Then Goodbye, Severus Snape. Goodbye, and thank you" She managed a soft smile but her eyes were dead. Severus stood there, paralyzed as he watched her leave his office for what would be the very last time.