Quality time with Spike. Sounds fun, doesn't it? This is set in season five, but it's AU, since Tara's not in it at all. It's sort of like—in this story—she didn't exist. Think of it like that.
Aware
He'd always noticed, always been aware. He, among most of the others, saw it because it had always been there. Even from the beginning—when he'd first started tormenting the Slayer—he'd seen it. And when he'd kidnapped the witch, he'd noticed how she'd been so sure the Slayer would save them, so convinced.
Even now, as he peeked in the window, he saw it there, in Buffy's eyes. Even in the dim light of the dining room, her eyes glowed as she looked across the table. A smile was forming on her lips. Red's head didn't move, but, after getting a better angle outside the window, he saw her watching Buffy with the same look of loving adoration.
It was in vain, he knew, that he loved Buffy. She was so clearly meant for another, never destined to be his. He loved her with all of his…No, not soul. He hadn't one. Nor was 'heart' quite the word he was searching for. He loved her with all of his being; his essence, his deeds, his eyes, his arms, legs, toes, fingers. Everything belonged to her. But she didn't belong to him and never would.
She hadn't even been Angel's. She would swear on her life that she had, but there was no way she could have. She'd been sold already at that point. He had heard how they'd met and he guessed that she'd been spirited away right then.
It had always been there, he reminded himself. He was an intruder. Just like Angel and Oz and Riley had been.
And as Buffy stood, walked over to Willow and kissed her with more love and passion than he'd seen her show before, Spike knew that he had been right all along.
It just gets more and more depressing. Haha. Not next chapter. I promise. The next one will be more fun. Let me know what you thought.