Disclaimer: Naruto not mine!

Until I Find the Light

Chapter 3

Life had been a little brighter for Hyuuga Sakura but tears would always rim her eyes whenever something reminded her of Neji. Every corner of the house and every piece of furniture screamed of her late husband. Of course, she remembered that promise she made before his grave in which she would be stronger and that she would protect the only living memento that he left for her. But it would never change the fact that she had lost the man she treasured the most. He was dead and it was beyond her power to bring him back to her.

Sakura was able to regain her ability to give those soft smiles that Neji had always loved. However, those little curves that her lips would occasionally make hinted sadness most of the time. She was very much aware that no one could be fooled with the false happiness that she had tried to share. But she would still do it anyway.

Looking at her daughter would always make her heart ache. She should not be feeling remorseful whenever she gazed at those silver eyes, which were extremely identical to those that her husband owned. Still, seeing those innocent orbs made Sakura remember all the moments she shared with the only man she had learned to love.

Neji would not approve of her feelings towards Haruka, she knew. But the little pink-haired girl resembled her husband except for the hair color, which the child obviously inherited from her. The color of her eyes, the shape of her face, her lips were all an image of Hyuuga Neji.

Sakura knew that the mere feeling of misery while watching the young girl was a mortal sin. Hyuuga Neji…Neji would never forgive her had he known that she was entertaining such emotion especially when she was with their daughter, their only child.

Sakura knew that eventually…she needed to stop feeling that way. For her sake…

Sakura requested two months off from hospital duty, which was willingly granted by the hospital's medical director who was also her surrogate mother. Tsunade would not like it if she would go to Konoha General Hospital looking like crap, thinking like trash, and working like an undignified doctor.

The Hyuuga mistress savored the remaining month from her two-month vacation. Most of the time, however, she would spend her time sitting on the wooden bench in their garden while watching the young girl play in her own sandbox.

Sakura had been reading a book when she felt the small hands of her daughter grasping the hem of her white shirt. She knew that reading time was over since Haruka would not leave her alone until supper.

"What is it, Haruka-chan?" Sakura asked with her voice as motherly as she could muster.

Silver eyes locked with green eyes for a minute until Haruka chose to pat the space beside her mother. Haruka wanted to sit beside her, Sakura assumed.

Sakura pulled the girl on her lap instead and wrapped her arms around the girl to hold her in place. She rested her chin on top of the girl's head and she smelled the sweet scent of strawberry emitted by the soft pink hair.

"Daddy, where?" the child's small voice reached Sakura's ears and she could not stop tears from forming once again.

"Daddy's not here, Haruka-chan." The woman spoke, attempting to keep her tone as steady as possible.

"Daddy…not coming home?"

Tears spilled once more, moistening the pink hair that was so much like Sakura's. How could she explain this very complicated situation in a way that her young mind could understand? How could she say things like "Dad's dead." or "Dad will never come home" when she, herself, could not accept what happened to her only love?

"Haruka waits…but Haruka does not see Daddy. Daddy…where?"

Neji Hyuuga watched the most heartbreaking scene between his wife and his only child. It was painful to see them hurting because his fate had been decided. What pained his heart even more was that he could not do anything to take their sadness away. It broke his heart to just observe the intimate exchange of emotions between the mother and the child while the only thing he could do was pray for them.

"I'm pregnant." Sakura said nonchalantly as her husband trailed kisses along her jaw line.

Neji continued his ministrations as he felt his wife's involuntary responses of tiny gasps and delicious shivers.

"Neji, I'm pregnant." The pink-haired woman spoke again but a groan escaped her bruised lips thus destroying her act of indifference.

The Hyuuga's hands wandered along the contours of her body, which she welcomed with more trembles and moans. It was until her declaration registered in Hyuuga Neji's mind that he was able to stop from seducing his wife.

"What?" Neji muttered, but he kept his wife pressed against the wall of their bedroom.

"I said…I'm pregnant." His wife spoke clearly and devoid of the tone of arousal from the previous activity.

"Oh."

Sakura chuckled coldly at her husband's reaction. Surely, it was the kind reaction that she least expected from the stoic Hyuuga Neji. But then, she did not expect him to jump up and down like an overjoyed child because that was something only Naruto could do.

Neji kissed his wife's lips, just a brief touch of his lips against hers. "I'm pleased."

"Why do I feel like I have done well on an exam rather than being pregnant with your child?" Sakura commented on her husband's casual response.

"Do you want me to do a jolly dance?" he spoke and there was a knowing smirk on his face.

"It was like telling me 'congratulations', you know." She turned her head sideways, acting as if she had been hurt by his lack of emotions.

"Ah."

Of course, she knew him better than anyone else. He might not show it or say it out loud but he was happy. She could see his delight through those pale eyes that she deeply loved. Outsiders might say that he was a very unfeeling prick but she always knew better. His one word response, arrogant smirks, and unsympathetic silver eyes showed her different kinds of emotions. Emotions that only she was meant to decipher. Emotions that only she was allowed to understand.

"Forget it and just kiss me, will you?" Sakura said while pulling his head towards hers, giving her husband one of the most passionate kisses that she could ever give him.

Neji pulled back, staring deeply at the green orbs that were reminiscent of the season of spring. He gave his trademark of a smirk again and lowered his gaze towards Sakura's abdomen.

"I'll make you and this child happy. I promise."

Yes, there were moments like this when he would put his feelings into words. But he would always shift back to his egotistical persona, probably embarrassed due to the short slip of his well-protected sanity.

And she always held on to that promise of his…

He tried to live to that promise until the end…

"I'm sorry." Neji whispered, knowing that they would never hear his apology.

"Daddy?" Haruka called out all of a sudden, looking from side-to-side.

"Daddy will never come back, Haruka. But Mommy will always be here for you." Sakura uttered, her voice trembling from crying.

"And…I will always watch over the two of you…" Neji pledged the words that he knew would reach the hearts of his loved ones even through this barrier called death.

Baby Panikku: Sorry for the long wait! I have been very busy at school and only after graduating did I feel the desire to put my thoughts into writing. Oh well, I hope you loved this chapter. I'll try to update regularly since I'm the ultimate bummer. Thanks!

Reviews are greatly appreciated!