This is the last update until Monday. I really appreciate the alerts. I would also love to see some more reviews :-) Thank you to those who have reviewed! And now, on with the angst...

Chapter 4

McGee was removing his gun and holster at the security gate as he sighed internally. Christmas was over yesterday and they still had today off, but he had a lot of paperwork he needed to get to. He decided to come today so he could have the tranquility of a quiet bullpen in order to complete a few tasks.

"McGee." He heard a gruff voice behind him.

"Boss." He smiled as he turned to greet him. "How was Stillwater?"

"Good." Gibbs answered curtly. "You?"

"Home was great. It was nice to see my family." He turned back towards the security guard as he walked through the gate. "Merry Christmas, Charlie."

Charlie nodded. "You too, Agent McGee. Agent Gibbs." As both men began to walk away, Charlie spoke up again. "Agent McGee, Agent Gibbs!" He lightly jogged up the hall to catch them.

Gibbs looked at him with curiosity as he faced him.

"I wanted to see how Agent Dinozzo was doing." Charlie asked.

"Doing?" McGee looked at his boss with confusion clouding his eyes. Charlie looked at both men, knowing they had no idea that Tony had been here for the holidays. He knew Tony would kill him, but right now, he didn't care.

"Tony was here for Christmas; like he is for every holiday." The former marine looked at Gibbs pointedly.

"And you know this how?" Gibbs stepped closer to Charlie.

"Kid brings me chocolates every Christmas Eve when he comes to the Yard. Ever since my Emily died, I work the holidays. It's less lonely that way." He smiled sadly. "One day I'm going to have Tony tell me where he gets those chocolates." He paused. "Anyway, the kid seemed real sick the other day. He stayed upstairs for a few hours and then went home." He looked at both men. "I told him to call a doctor or maybe call his team, but he didn't seem too keen on that."

"Why is that?" Gibbs said tightly, reacting to the accusatory tone in the guard's voice.

"I believe his words were that his team wouldn't care and that they don't really want him around. He mentioned something about not being invited to a party."

McGee looked at Gibbs, who had turned away. That was it. Gibbs said to himself as he felt guilt traverse through him. He knew something was going on with Tony and he kept putting it off, hoping that it would work itself out.

Gibbs looked at Charlie and nodded slightly. "We'll look in on him. Thanks, Charlie." He walked away with McGee trailing behind him. When Tim opened his mouth to talk, Gibbs responded. "Not now, McGee." He pressed the button once inside the elevator and they exited to the quiet bullpen.

Gibbs glanced at Tony's desk. There was no indication anyone had been in the area during the holiday. When he dropped his things into his drawer and took off his coat, he looked at Tim. "Pull up the surveillance tapes from Christmas Eve." He said quietly as he went to stand in front of the plasma. After a few minutes, McGee had found the footage that showed Tony in the office on the day before Christmas. He fast forwarded the silent footage. He saw him working, watching movies, playing video games, and something that worried him most of all. Many times, Tony was doubled over coughing. Even without sound, the footage was painful to watch.

Gibbs was deep in thought for a moment. "Show me Thanksgiving."

They spent about thirty minutes going through two years of security footage and found that for every major holiday they were not working, at some point, Tony was at the office. Part of Gibbs wanted to be furious with Tony, his first reaction when he felt he had been mislead. But, in his heart, he knew how he had let Tony down. There were many holidays for years that Gibbs was alone. If he was between wives or before he reconciled with his father, the pain and loneliness of spending holidays without Shannon and Kelly were difficult to take. He often worked or occasionally met with some of his marine buddies for drinks.

He tried to recall anytime in the years Dinozzo had worked for NCIS that he inquired about Tony's plans for his time off. He knew McGee, Ziva, Abby, Ducky, and even Palmer had family support outside of work. He would hear his team discussing their plans and a few times, he heard Tony say that he was going to do his usual. As his stomach sank again, he realized that Tony didn't lie, he just never elaborated. And Leroy Jethro Gibbs just assumed that he was fine. If McGee wasn't in the room he would have head slapped himself.

He thought about how much he enjoyed having Tony on his team. He was a fantastic agent, albeit a little obnoxious; but, that was part of his charm. He wasn't purely the fun loving, skirt chasing jock that he made himself out to be. Underneath, he saw an intelligent, kind, considerate, slightly vulnerable man. Gibbs knew Tony looked up to him, trying to gain his approval. He knew that an attaboy put a smile on Tony's face that rivaled any smile.

Gibbs could acknowledge that because of Tony, he had chuckled and grinned more in the last six years than since his family was murdered. He cared about Tony a lot. Probably more than he has been willing to admit. Subconsciously, he thinks that he sometimes kept Dinozzo at arms length. He started filling up that empty void in his heart, the emptiness that had been there since losing his beautiful girls.

Reconciling with his father had helped. Despite how pigheaded his Dad was, Jethro had missed him greatly. And now that they were close again, the permanent pain in his heart had lessened. Tony contributed as well, but Jethro perhaps had been unwilling to admit it. For the first few years he worked with Dinozzo, he knew Tony needed a strong mentor figure and he was happy to oblige. But Gibbs' feelings had long turned, though. When he awoke from his coma, the pain of his loss was immense. And as he sat on the beach in Mexico, and as his memories returned, he knew his feelings for Tony went beyond just teammates. He just was never sure what to do about it. And now knowing what Charlie had told them and the horrible loneliness that Tony had endured, he could only hope that Tony would forgive him.

"McGee, try Dinozzo on his cell."

McGee hesitated. Gibbs knew he wanted to talk first, but he was not ready. He just needed to see if Tony was okay. "On it, Boss." Tim answered as he picked up his phone. "No answer." He said after a little time. "I'll try his home." He got the answering machine. He looked at his boss.

"Grab your things. We'll go to his apartment."

McGee held on for dear life as Gibbs navigated through the streets of DC on the way to Tony's apartment. Tim had tried to engage his Boss in a conversation about Tony, but Gibbs was staying silent. Tim was wracking his brain thinking how Tony would actually think that they didn't care about him. And with Ziva's party, Tim had assumed Tony was busy. He made a mental note to talk to Ziva, if he survived the car ride with Gibbs.

The two agents made their way into Dinozzo's building. Gibbs knocked on Tony's door. He waited a moment and when he became impatient he took out his keys and started opening the door. He heard a voice behind him.

"Excuse me?" Gibbs turned to see a couple whom appeared to be in their late thirties. The woman continued. "That is Agent Dinozzo's apartment."

Gibbs wanted to be annoyed, but he tried to stay civil. He brought out his badge. "Agent Gibbs and McGee."

The woman smiled. "Oh. Agent Gibbs. I think Tony has mentioned you before."

The couple looked at each other and relaxed. The man spoke. "Sorry. We thought you were breaking into his apartment. And since he's in the hospital, we thought…"

He was cut off by McGee, "He's what?" His eyes widened as he looked at the couple.

"You didn't know?" The woman asked.

As embarrassed as Jethro was to admit it, he reluctantly shook his head. "The whole team just returned from holiday break, Ma'am. We were trying to get hold of Tony."

The husband answered. "He was taken by ambulance to Bethesda on Christmas." With those words Jethro began to sprint back towards his car. McGee looked at the couple and said a quick, "Thank you for the information," and ran after his Boss.

Upon arrival to Bethesda, Gibbs and McGee walked briskly towards patient information. "Anthony Dinozzo." Gibbs said quickly.

The volunteer punched his name into a computer and after a moment looked up. "Room 528."

Gibbs nodded his thanks and then made their way towards the elevator. The ride up was tense. McGee knew Gibbs was worried and appeared a little pissed. He continued his silence. Tim knew better than to force Gibbs to talk. At this point, he just wanted Tony to be okay. As they stepped off the elevator, the two agents looked to the numbers on the wall to guide them to the room. As they walked past the nurse's station, they saw a familiar face.

"Dr. Pitt." Gibbs said as he saw the man whom helped Tony get through the plague.

"Agent Gibbs. Agent McGee."

"What the hell is going on with my agent? Why was I not contacted when Tony was admitted?" Gibbs said gruffly at the doctor as his eyes narrowed in a slightly threatening manner.

Pitt stood tall, clearly not intimidated by the former Marine. "Tony asked that no one be contacted." He answered curtly.

"What?" Gibbs said in almost an exasperated tone. What was going on here? He thought to himself.

"He said that everyone was on Christmas break and that he didn't want to ruin it."

Gibbs took a deep breath. He clearly had to have a talk with Tony. "Fine. I'll just see him now."

"Actually, Agent Gibbs, Tony requested no visitors unless his condition changed. If that happened, I am to contact his medical proxy and/or his emergency contact." Brad paused. "And Tony is not improving so I called Dr. Mallard as his proxy and Director Shepard as his emergency contact. They should be here momentarily."

Gibbs felt like he had been punched in the gut hard. After talking to the security guard earlier, he knew perhaps things were tenuous between him and Tony, but now…he had never realized the damage he had done. He needed to talk to his senior agent. Right now, he felt he had no words; but he needed to try. "I want to see him." Gibbs walked towards Pitt.

"If Director Shepard or Dr. Mallard gives their consent, then by all means you may."

"Brad, for God sakes!" Gibbs practically growled as he glared at the doctor.

"Gibbs, I am Tony's doctor and his friend. If he said no visitors then he had a damn good reason to feel that way. This is my turf, not one of your investigations. So, you do it my way, or I'll call security and have you escorted out of the hospital." Dr. Pitt ignored the infamous Gibbs glare and walked away to go tend to his patient.

TBC...