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In the Windmills of Her Mind
Chapter Five
Like a door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream, like the ripples from a pebble someone tosses in a stream…
The scream rang through the air, each molecule of sound smashing into the walls and reverberating a hundred times louder. The heart wrenching sound bounced around the room and burst down the corridor, it stormed through the veins of Mary who froze where she stood. The scream echoed down the corridor and through the hospital, cracking through every moment of happiness that lurked within the concrete building. It tore and crushed every moment of hope and every sparkle of life in the eyes of a patient. It broke down everything that the hospital tried to build, every lie and web of deceit that gave hope to thousands and thousands of patients, it broke a persona that had been built upon for so long, to reveal the simple truth that lay within the painted walls and well placed flowers. The scream broke down the forced smiled of the doctors and the masks they'd so carefully placed – they shattered to reveal the only truth.
Death.
Death that clawed through her mind tainting every darkened corner she tried to hide in. It was death that chased her around this darkened room and death that tainted her , it was death that was so intent on taking her. Death that had parted her from her Doctor, death that was slowly driving her insane, and soon, it would be ready to take her - her and him.
The truth that lurked within ever corner, that clung to every wall and tainted every drip, it was the thing that followed the bravest doctor with the steadiest hand – the doctor who cried over a whiskey as he sunk into his addictions over another death – it was the one thing that haunted everyone everywhere – and she could feel it. Bursting through her veins and tainting every cell in her body, it was a feeling she'd know before, a feeling that had tainted her before – a feeling that she felt coursing through her and she recognised that feeling as death. She felt the grey haze of her mind screaming as reality fought the darkness; she released her scream again – her hand reaching out for another, a hand that couldn't be there. Then she stopped – her body fell limp as her mind screamed inside –the alarms rang around her.
Mary wrapped her fingers around the pole and shook as she saw the girl barely grasped onto reality before slowly falling back into the darkness and unknowing that she craved. Within a moment the spell was broken, it shattered and fell around the hospital – doctors' smiles reappeared firmly in place as they began to walk at a brisk pace down the sunset yellow corridors. When they were out of the preying eyes of patients and visitors, the doctors began to run. They ran towards the piecing cry of a panic alarm, pushing past the frozen nurses and curious eyes. A doctor burst through the double white doors, their silver handles catching the flashing amber of the panic alarm. A cool bead of sweat dripped from his silver hair, his brow crinkled and his normally caring eyes hardened with fear. He met Mary's green eyes which watered, she still stood frozen to the pole – she clung to it, her knuckles had turned white from the strength of her grip. He met her eyes and for a moment they stared at each other, both feeling the dread as their miracle patient slowly slipped away. He watched her and remembered his own words
'She should have died from these injuries, it will be a miracle if she survives'
He looked at his miracle patients, the broken fragile blonde girl and he felt something. It was the faintest drop of hope tearing at his soul and bursting through him – he couldn't give up on her yet… not just yet – one day this could be his daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin…she could be the love of his life or the girl who sits next to him on the bus. He couldn't let her go, so he fought, he fought a losing battle that everyone raised an eyebrow at – he fought to save her against everyone's best advice – he had to save her. So they worked on her, hour after hour, they opened her up and sewed her up, they took her blood; each vial containing her life, her pain and her identity, they took it away for endless tests. They changed stitches, added more, conducted scan after scan, test after test, and x-ray after x-ray until there was nothing left to do, nothing left to take – except for her innocence as she lay unknowingly in a coma, but it was too late for that – someone had stolen all she had, included in her identity – there was nothing they could do except wait. For she was the only one who could save herself now, there was nothing they could do but wait and hope – wait and hope for her to save herself for there was nothing anyone else could do.