PLEASE DO NOT FLAME! This is just a crack fic written for some friends based on a random conversation we had. Rhiannon, Hannah and Harriet, this one's for you.
Erik stormed into his lair, fully intent on continuing his brooding over losing Christine to that annoying ponce Raoul; a plan he would have followed through with if it wasn't for the four girls sat waiting for him at the edge of the lake.
"How did you get down here?" He demanded, the girls merely held up four Twix bars causing Erik to raise the eyebrow that wasn't covered by the mask. He stepped out pof the boat and made his way to his beloved piano. He expected the girls to run away screaming like everyone else did, instead they crowded around him, the smallest one curling up on the piano bench next to him.
"Are you a vampire?" she asked through a mouthful of chocolate, Erik's fingers slammed down on the keys in shock.
"I beg your pardon."
"Are you a vampire?" A girl with dark hair and glasses repeated
"I can assure you I am not."
"Are you sure?" A girl with red curly hair asked, "'Cos the proof says otherwise."
"Proof?"
The four girls exchanged knowing looks.
"Well." A girl with shoulder length red/blonde hair started, "you have an underground lair. Practically a crypt."
"You only ever really come out at night." The curly haired one added
"You wear a swishy cape." The one with glasses chimed in
"You spend the whole time obsessing over a virgin girl-"
"-Who you abduct."
"And then there's the whole immortality thing."
"Immortality...thing." Eric asked trying in vain to back away.
The small one shook her head and put an arm around his shoulder
"Dude, you leave a rose on Christine's grave, you were old enough to be her dad anyway and she was like,63 when she died. How the Hell else would you still be alive?"
"So come on admit it, VAMPIRE!" The girl with glasses yelled pointing a finger at him dramatically.
Eric sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose,
"If I say I am will you go away?"
The girls merely smirked and leaned forward, exposing their necks.