Chapter 4
I feel so alone, so lost. The waves of life are crashing over me, engulfing me in blindness and frustration. Water is filling up my lungs, my head is pounding, my brain throbbing beneath its delicate tissue coverings. I can't breathe, weights are pressing themselves unmercifully upon my chest. Breathing is difficult. Nothing seems to be going right.
Am I….crazy?
What's wrong with me? I can't seem to get anything straight. The edges of my mind are frayed and loosening, the threads of sanity unraveling themselves to reveal the horrid psychoses lurking demonically beneath. The shadows of incurable insanity are dispersing themselves further into my mind, parasitizing even the smallest corners of my brain, lurking….waiting…..waiting for what?
I can't seem to get a grip on anything. It's as if everything is oiled to the point where I can't place a handle on anything. Nothing is going right. No one understands. No one can help me. I can't even help myself.
The pain is unbearable. Nothing physical, no blood, no sharp wound, but something intangible, incorporeal, but painful. No balm can seduce the pain to quiet down. The pain is too much internalized, too much a part of me. At least it gives me energy. that much, at least, I can thank it for.
Ginoro sat there in the dark, musing, contemplating the events of his life. Nothing made sense anymore to him.
But there was one thing left he could do to save himself.
He could turn rogue.