Just to let you know this is always in Clares P.O.V and reviews help, I love lengthy ones and suggestions! =) Enjoy 3
Once it got too late I went to the guest room, even when you're dead you still need sleep.
I slipped under the covers and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't, I kept thinking about Eli, our first kiss, our first date, when he would tell me how much I meant to him, how he couldn't live without me. Then I realized. He said he couldn't live without me. I wasn't with him anymore. What if he committed suicide because of me? Eli was smart, don't get me wrong, but he was emotionally unstable when I met him because Julia was gone, now I was gone and Adam was never really the comforting type.
I tossed and turned, every time I closed my eyes I could see Eli holding a gun to his head, or a knife to his throat, or him cutting. Tears flowed down my cheeks onto the soft satin pillows. Then all I could remember was when Eli held me in his arms when my parents fought so much my dad threw a vase at my mom, he told me everything would be okay. Eventually.
"Helen you no good bitch! What the hell did you do this time! We are so behind in bills, why don't you get a goddamn job for a change!" Clare's father screamed, Clare had her ear pressed to her bedroom door and her phone tightly gripped in her left hand, the first 9 digits of Eli's phone number already dialed.
"Randall Calm down!" Clare mother screamed back, you could hear the strain in her voice, she was definitely scared.
"No Helen I'm tired of you! I bet whole lot Clare is too!" He screamed again resting his palm on the end table.
"Don't you dare bring Clare into this" She screeched, Randall grabbed the flower pot off the end table and threw it at the wall as hard as he could, only inches from Clare's moms face.
Clare quickly dialed the last number of Eli's phone number and locked the lock on her door. Eli had picked up on the third ring.
"Clare, its eleven at night, are you okay?" Eli asked, his voice tired.
"My parents are fighting, I just heard a loud crash downstairs, and Eli please come get me" Clare tired to keep her voice together but she couldn't she started sobbing hysterically.
"Give me ten minutes, stay by your window, there are bushes under your window, you might have to jump into them, wait for me" Eli said then hanging up the phone, Eli hurried to Clare's house and stood below the window that led into Clare's room. Clare worriedly glanced out her window and saw Eli's standing there, with no expression on his face.
"Eli-" She said prying open the window frame.
"Clare come on!" He tried to say loud enough for her to hear but not to disturb her parents, Clare got the window open, but she could hear her dad's footsteps stomping up the stairs. She put one leg over the window sill and slipped out the window falling five feet into the bushes. Eli helped her out and wrapped a supportive arm around her waist and got her to Morty before something risky happened. Eli could here silent muffled cries coming from Clare.
"Shhh, It's okay, everything's okay, I'm here, if you want we can watch Twilight when we get to my place" Eli said trying to comfort the crying girl in his arms.
I turned over so my face was suffocated in my pillow. Nothing was going to bring Eli back, nor was I ever going back. I kept thinking about Eli, I then decided I would check up on him, every few days, just to make sure he was okay. I couldn't stand not knowing what was going to happen every second I was gone. Eli was mine and I was his, until that one guy- Tim Leon- took everything I loved, everything I lived for- away. Now I was stuck in the 'in between' from heaven and earth. I wonder if this is hell in disguise.
I took in a shaky breath, the tears dried leaving my eyelids heavy, I silently thanked god that I wouldn't have to endure another moment of this sadness that was slowly taking over my new 'life'.
I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep, one that I wished I would never awake from, on where I could live in my wildest fantasy and nothing could bring me down. But soon enough morning would come.
I woke up to pale sunlight shining through the black curtains; I rubbed my eyes and got out of the bed, my bare feet hitting the freezing marble floor. I looked in the mirror that hung over the dresser. My eyes were red, my face was pale, and my usually curly hair was limp and not as vibrant.
I guess that's what dying does to you. I picked up the brush that was laid out on the top of the dresser and combed through my hair while staring aimlessly at my ghostly reflection in the mirror.
I looked though the other drawers of the dresser looking for something to wear; there were mostly white shorts, or black shorts, bright graphic tee's or dark low-cut tank tops. None of it was 'my style', until I found one pair of denim shorts; I figured it was as close as I was getting. I picked out he shorts and a blue and white striped polo and some white ballet flats.
After I got the clothes on I looked in the mirror, something wasn't right. I tip-toed into the hallway looking for a bathroom, and trying not to disturb Julia. Once I found the bathroom I carefully opened the door and locked it behind me. The bathroom had marble floors and a huge chandelier with lights coming off the end on the ceiling. The sink was huge, and had a mirror to match. Everything was porcelain, except for the rug that was in front of the huge Jacuzzi tub.
I looked around at all the makeup and hair products scattered around on the sink counter. I looked at all the mascara and blush brushes and makeup compacts everywhere. Then I found what I was looking for, there were several eyeliner pencils mostly dark colors but some surprisingly bright ones also.
I took the eyeliner pencil and opened the cap and carefully applied a few dark layers under my eyes, and then I looked in the mirror and smiled. I closed the cap and put it exactly where I found it hoping Julia wouldn't mind I 'borrowed' her makeup.
I quietly walked down the hallway and down the stairs to find Julia in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee.
"Hey Clare, I see you found my make up" She said partially laughing and adding sugar to her coffee. Was it really that noticeable?
"Sorry, I just-" I said walking over to the counter.
"No worries, but you'd better eat something because you haven't had anything in at least a day" Julia said stirring her coffee.
"I have cereal… I'm not the best cook so…" Julia said turning around and opening the cabinets that revealed various types of cereals such as lucky charms, cookie crisp, chocolate cheerios and captain crunch.
"Pick your poison" Julia said grabbing her coffee off the counter. "They're all high in calories and sugar, but that's what makes 'em taste good" Julia said again sipping her coffee.
"I think I'll have to go with chocolate cheerios" I said grabbing the box out of the counter.
Julia had go down to amusement park 'Fantasy Land'; apparently she had a job there. I sat in her apartment trying not to think about Eli or Alli, or my mom or my dad. It was too hard. Eventually I couldn't take the silence and I put on my jacket and headed out side, I didn't know where I was going I just needed some air.
I walked down the streets, I saw kids who got reunited with their parents, laughing and playing on the swing sets, teenagers who died in car crashes, everybody looked so incredibly happy for being dead. Was I the only one who was downright miserable? The image that hurt me the most was a teenage couple, they were sitting on a bench in the park gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. I thought they looked familiar, and then I put the pieces together. About a week ago, when I was still on earth I saw a headline in the paper: Engaged teens killed in vicious hit-and-run around Roxbury street, memorial will be held in central park at 9pm Saturday. I remember how my mom said they went to school in the next town over. I was truly jealous of them. The girl- Lianne and the boy- Peter had each other. He would tell her everything's okay and not to worry.
Of course Julia told me everything would work out, but I wish I had Eli here- I wish Eli was dead.
I wanted to slap myself for the thought, Eli dead? No.
I walked down the street until I came to the same pizzeria I was at yesterday- and right around the corner was the same beach. Of course I wanted to know how Eli was doing- and Adam and my friends and family.
I walked into the beach, looking for a decent place to sit, I found a place in the sand- it was cold because the sky was dark with clouds, it looked like it would start pouring any minute. I stared out into ocean, trying not to concentrate on anything in particular.
Soon enough I saw Eli sitting cross-legged on his bed and his eyes were red, his black hair was messy and sticking up in all directions, his hands were shaking violently and he looked completely- insane. I pressed my lips together and tried not to cry, I thought about Adam then the picture changed.
"Clare you're the only one who- understood- me" Adam kept repeating over and again, he was curled up in a ball in the same place as he was yesterday- there were plates of barley touched food all over the coffee table in front of him and tissues everywhere.
"Adam- Drew and your father and I are going over to the Edwards- Do you want to come?" His mom said from the other room.
"No-" He choked out. I was about to start thinking about Darcy- but then something Adam did caught my eye. As soon as his parents and Drew walked out the door; Adam went upstairs into his bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. He took out a pill bottle of Oxycodone. Adam carefully un-screwed the cap and poured most of the pills in his hand.
"Clare, you understood me- Eli won't ever be the same- Fiona likes somebody else- my mom doesn't understand me- Life isn't worth it anymore" He said looking up, like he was looking for me.
"NO! ADAM NO!" I screeched like he could hear me, He took pill by pill until every one of them was gone- He looked in the mirror, his face was slightly paler but he still looked like Adam.
Adam walked down stairs- stumbling a few times- and into his kitchen where he took out a pen and paper- he started scribbling down words a suicide note- most of the words were slanted upwards- Adam swayed a little when he tried to stand but he looked okay- until he tried to walk back to the couch, he collapsed on the wood floor.
Tears were rolling down my eyes, before I got up I saw Drew- he looked a little worried and told he mom he was going to check on Adam- I didn't have the heart to watch him find his brother unconscious- or even dead. Why did it always have to be Drew?
I got up and started running as fast as I could; I needed to find Julia- It started to rain as soon as I ran through the gate of the beach. It was coming down incredibly hard all the kids were getting into their parents cars- people were running into diners while I was just running aimlessly.
I turned a corner and ran right in to a man holding a newspaper above his head- I landed in a puddle; the man outstretched his arm to help me up.
"Where are you going?" he asked
"Do you know where Fantasy Land park is?" I asked brushing off my soaked shorts.
"Fantasy Land is down around that corner- but it's not the best time to be going-" The man started- before he could finish I took off running towards the corner, my flats were splashing in the puddles- to only make matters worse the wind picked up blowing rain in my face, so much for my eyeliner. I blinked rapidly as I saw two huge gates and a sign that said "Fantasy Land" mounted above it.
I saw tons of people piling out of the entrance with objects over there head to shield them from the rain- but I saw all the employee's still their positions.
I ran over to one of the workers in a Blue polo that had "Fantasy Land" Embroidered on the left sleeve. "Do you know a Julia Malone?" I asked blinking though the downpour.
"Yeah she's cleaning out the lockers by the water park" the guy said pointing towards a long row of green lockers covered by a straw roof. I ran over there to find Julia in her blue polo and her black hair tied up with a matching blue visor hat on top.
"Julia!" I said leaning against a locker catching my breath.
"Clare what are you doing here?" Julia asked using her keys to open a locker.
"Adam tried to commit suicide- and I think it worked" I said, she immediately stopped what she was doing and looked at me.
"What?" She said shoving her keys in her pocket and slamming the locker shut again.
"He overdosed on Oxycodone" I said still panting.
" Oh no- Um come here" Julia grabbed my arm and ran out into the progressing storm, all the roller coasters where shut down and it was grey an cloudy- it almost looked like a five year olds nightmare.
Julia pulled me into a small building that had "Employee's only" on the door. An obese man with white hair and a red polo shirt had his legs up on a desk and was reading a newspaper.
"Eddie- I know I took some time off but my friend- Adam just tried to commit suicide and-"Julia started- the guy looked up from his paper and brought his legs off the desk.
"No worries Jules- were shutting down anyway- we probably won't be open tomorrow because this storm is supposed to last a few days so I'll call you tomorrow" The man said in a husky voice.
"Thanks Ed" She said.
"Come on Clare we need to go back to the beach"
So? What do you think will happen? Will Adam make it? Or not? I love lengthy reviews, and reviews in general, and PREDICTIONS? Haha You guys rock my world 3