Plot: Sasuke's heart could be painted any colour... Has Madara corrupted him beyond repair? When Sasuke agrees to stay in Konoha, can he keep his sanity, or will Itachi's death prove too much for him? Only Naruto can save him, but it may be too late. SasuNaru.
Warning: None yet.
Disclaimer: Why would this be called fanfiction if I owned Naruto?
Inspiration: Pillar of Support, by bellabambina248 (This was the story that originally inspired Tears He'll Never See. Look it up!)
Music: Love The Way You Lie, by Eminem ft. Rhianna.
Video: http : / / www . youtube . com / watch?v=Y3e4X5jYMMM (I made this video =D)
A/N: Sasuke's POV this time! And... this is pretty late, huh?
. . . . At least I didn't discontinue it.
And sorry this update is short too. I'm hoping that I'll get some motivation to write. The next chapter will also be Sasuke's POV. Hope you like this one, despite its length.
"And it's your fault too!"
These words burst from my mouth before I could stop them; I hadn't been thinking. I stared at Naruto, unable to break away from his gaze. His gaze that was oh so confused, and so hurt. The kunai knife I'd thrown at him had landed above his shoulder in the wall behind him. Maybe I'd meant for it to hit him, maybe I hadn't. But it didn't, so maybe I should be grateful. My words would hurt him more, I knew. My words were currently hurting him. But didn't he want the truth?
I could feel the madness set in as my Sharingan spun faster. Everything around me was blood-red, but not because of the Sharingan. A part of me wished it was. A part of me wanted to blame everything on these wretched eyes. The eyes I'd taken from Itachi should cause me to see red when I use them, but unfortunately, they did not. It was my own anger, the rage that I'd held for so long unleased once again toward Naruto. I glared at him now, those crystalline blue orbs never straying from mine, and knew all he saw was hatred. Hatred which I had directed toward him for months now.
But that wasn't all I felt. No. I felt guilt. Everytime this happens, everytime my emotions catch up with me and my actions betray my mind, I feel guilt and I feel sadness. Not for myself, but for Naruto. He never saw this, and I would never tell him, but because of me he was suffering again. Though, I suppose that isn't true. He's suffered all these years because of me, hasn't he?
Too bad he couldn't save me. Which leads us back to the current situation.
"My fault?" he whispers. Something passes through his eyes, but he drops them before I can distinguish what it is. His blonde hair falls into his face, shielding him from me. At this moment, he seems so defeated, but I can do nothing but continue to watch him in utter loathing.
"Yes," I sneer, "Your fault."
I hated how my voice sounded. Oh Naruto, don't listen! I don't mean it. I swear!
"Your fault for not saving me, Naruto," I continue, my voice growing harsher by the second. "If you'd have brought me back sooner, I would never have killed him."
His body begins to shake, like it does when Kyuubi takes form. But I know his shaking isn't from anger; it's like this everytime. He begins to shake, and then he cries, and begs and pleads with me to help him understand why. Why. What a question! What a notion! You'd think he'd understand by now. But he doesn't, and probably won't ever, not while I parade in this masque throughout this dance. He, so näive and trusting, will never realize his is the only face that's true.
The shaking worsens, and then comes to a brief stop, where his hands clench and take on the trembling. "I tried," he says brokenly. "I tried to bring you back, Sasuke!" His voice rises in volume and he snaps his head up to look at me. "How can you blame this on me when you'd spent the four years prior to that running away from me?"
My face remains blank as I simply cock my head to the side, saying nothing. I watch curiously as his face becomes redder and his breath becomes shallower the longer I refuse to speak. It was kind of amusing, really, how easily upset Naruto is. I drag this out a little longer, basking in the Naruto's agony, his desperate desire to know how I could blame him for this. My lips twitched as a small smile threatened to break on my mouth, and as the heat in the room intensified, I couldn't help but let that smirk unravel.
"How?" I repeat, sarcasm lacing my voice. "Well, I don't know, Naruto. What do you think?"
A bubble of laughter boiled within me, as Naruto clenched his teeth angrily. Now fuled by his anger, he took the courage to stand up, his clenched fists clenched harder still. "I don't fucking know, Sasuke!" he shouted. His eyes were like broken ice now, dangerously sharp but so startling fragile. "I tried so hard to find you! Everyone did! And each time I managed to catch you, you ran away! You kept hiding and hiding! How can you blame for this?"
Once more the question was asked.
This time while not answering him, I contemplated it. Yes, how was it his fault? I had, after all, been the one to reject him. But he should have tried to look at things from my point of view. Maybe if he had, he could have come up with a more convincing argument. But that wasn't the root of it, no. That wasn't the reason it was his fault. The real reason isn't even connected to his four-year chase of me. But I didn't want him to know. He didn't need to.
So I cruelly suggested, "Maybe it's because you should have been stronger."
The question had the desired effect. Naruto's eyes widened and those ice-like eyes threatened to break. The shaking began again, and he stared at me in disbelief. "Stronger," he echoed hollowly, leaning back against the wall, never once tearing his eyes from mine. I knew why he was so affected, of course. It was because he spent countless of hours straining just to get stronger; stronger than me, ultimately, so he could capture me. I was sure I could imagine the rigorous training he did, and was certain that it was beyond torturous. But, oh well. Wasn't it the truth? Isn't it true that if he were only stronger, he could have brought me back home?
"You're so weak, Naruto," I mocked, my half-smirk-half-smile becoming full-fledged in an amused grin.
This did it. Naruto slumped once more to the floor, supported only by the wall and still half-hunched over himself.
You're not weak, you're strong! Please don't listen to me right now. You know I don't mean it. You know, Naruto . . !
I started walking forward, one hand reaching for the other kunai at my waist. I toyed with the handle as I neared Naruto, successfully bringing it out as I squatted in front of him. His head didn't lift, even as I weighted the weapon between my hands, directly level with his eyes (though I could not see them, as they were covered once more by wispy blonde hair). The only noise in the room was the unsteady breathing coming from Naruto and the muffled thuds of the kunai landing back and forth between my two hands.
We stayed this way for a while, neither of us saying anything, frozen in whatever our current actions were. I, myself, was thinking, studying Naruto's bowed head. How had we come to this? Of course, I knew, but I wish I didn't. Once upon a dream, I'd wanted a bright and happy future with Naruto; friends or otherwise, it didn't matter, because I'd thought being with him would make everything alright. Needless to say, it didn't. Naruto had believed it too. In fact, it was because Naruto believed there was a happily-ever-after that I believed in a fairytale ending. He'd convinced me, in our final battle. Before we finished each other off, he'd breathed to me the future we could have together, how happy I could be, if only he would allow him to save me.
But it was too late. He couldn't see that I was already gone, consumed by darkness. He'd known that, because Karin had told him, but he still couldn't see it, couldn't accept it. And at the time, this blind faith had poured into me, Naruto's blinding light seeping into my mind and purifying it for the few moments it took me to agree and promise I'd stay home (with him); and promise I'd stop seeking revenge.
This light and happiness took only a month to fade. It was replaced by the same darkness that had consumed me after my clan's massacre, after Orochimaru's curse-mark blessing, and again after Itachi's death. Revenge was all I could think of, hate all I could feel. With Naruto, though, the hate came in swings. Sometimes, I could be happy—I was happy, and I was a great friend to Naruto. But other times—and all too often—the hate would return, immediately trampling Naruto's hopes and wishes. And usually intentionally.
I reached out and tenderly threaded my fingers through Naruto's hair, lifting some of it from his face and pulling it back. I played with his hair for a few moments, wondering what to say next. For some reason, I really wanted to say his name. I wanted him to see I knew how much hurt I was causing him, and that I wasn't enjoying any of it. But I couldn't. Naruto couldn't see me like that, and he couldn't know the truth. Not while my eyes bled red and threatened genjutsu.
But I could still say his name.
"Naruto," I breathed.
His head slowly lifted, and now I saw: the ice had broken. Thin ice fallen through into the deep waters beneath. Tears leaked from his eyes, cascading down his cheeks in a steady stream. Sadness ripped through me at his broken expression, and I found myself inwardly battling myself. I was so angry with him, for letting me become this way, but at the same time I didn't want him to suffer. But what could I do?
"I'm never strong enough," Naruto choked out, a strangled sob accompanying it.
He grasped my hand that was holding the kunai with both of his in a stifling grip, as he looked at me in utter heartbreak. "N-no m-matter h-h-how . . . hard," he took a deep breath here, trying to calm his breathing, "I t-try, it's never g-good enough." A fresh torrent of tears made its way down his face, as clutched my hand more tightly.
Destroying all thoughts of regret, I twisted my hand out of his grip, pushing his head back against the wall with the fingers that were still laced in his hair. I leaned closer to him. "That's right," I said quietly, ignoring the widening of his eyes. "You'll never be good enough."
It's my fault you're not Hokage by now, isn't it, Naruto?