A/N: Just a quick note to start this off. The customary long and rambling one will probably be at the end. For one thing, to all my loyal readers who I love dearly, I'm very sorry I'm making you wait so long for new chapters of this story. But here's a nice long one to tide you over until I finish the next. :) And for another, just a reminder that I think will prove helpful. This is PRE-Knockdown. Since somehow, although Sucker Punch and Knockdown were only about a year apart, during Sucker Punch it had been ten years since Johanna's murder and during Knockdown it had been twelve... figure timeline-wise, as it's been mentioned that now it's been eleven years since her death, this is somewhere between the two. Closer, obviously, to Knockdown than Sucker Punch (which might not quite work out if you think about it too hard because of the twelve years thing that randomly happens, but... ignore that? It wasn't an issue when I started writing!) because of the roles of Gina and Josh. I think I started writing this during the Christmas hiatus, so it probably falls a little after that.

She got out of the car, walked a few steps, and waited for him to catch up. Then she began down the familiar path to the little patch of earth where her mother was buried. Besides that very first time, at the funeral, this was the only time she'd ever been accompanied. She had no idea what she could possibly be thinking.

The level of respect and maturity she'd seen him exhibit today surpassed anything she'd thought him capable of previously. Now was no exception. He followed her lead entirely, walking beside her but not too close, not saying anything at all. She wasn't looking for conversation, just companionship. Comfort. And both of these he'd shown her that he was able to provide.

When it was time to turn off of the path, he followed. "Here," she murmured, going to the grave. Just seeing the familiar shape of the stone, its placement, the big oak tree standing a good twenty feet behind it and a few to the right, brought tears to her eyes that she couldn't entirely quell. Then, as always, when she read her mother's name inscribed, she let go. She couldn't not.

She knelt down beside it and tried to unwrap the flowers through her tears, but had a little trouble focusing on the tape well enough to get it off, and it didn't help that her hands were shaking. After a minute or so, she felt another pair of hands on top of hers, larger and more stable, removing the tape and then the plastic from the flowers easily and then handing them to her without a word.

"Thanks," she mumbled. She pulled up the vase that sat in front of the stone and flipped it right side up. This she did easily without assistance, and she was grateful for that because Castle had apparently never seen anything like it before.

"Neat," he muttered softly, like he couldn't avoid letting the word escape but wasn't sure if he wanted her to hear it. She heard it anyway, so it didn't much matter.

She almost smiled, but wasn't quite able to get there. Instead, she tried to put the flowers in the vase, but found that the bouquet was so large that it didn't fit.

Her mind wasn't fully engaged and she looked at the beautiful arrangement for a moment, distressed. But Castle was paying close attention, and before she even said anything held out his hand for the flowers. "Here."

She handed them to him and he removed a few from the sides of the arrangement so that it still looked basically the same. He gave it back to her. "Try it now."

Again, she tried to put the bouquet into the vase, and this time it fit. "Thank you," she told him again.

He nodded in acknowledgement, busy trying to arrange the flowers he'd removed on the ground in front of the stone. The thought was good, but his way with words notwithstanding, Castle couldn't really be described as artistic. She took one of the lilies from his hand and repositioned it, and rearranged the rest of the extra flowers he'd begun to put down. Then she stood and backed up to examine their work.

It looked amazing. Never had she thought a grave could look as beautiful as this one did. She tried to stifle a sob, because she didn't want to cry. She wanted to thank him, to tell him how sweet he'd been all day, how above and beyond he was going just by being here, how much she'd truly appreciated his company. And she wanted to take his advice. She wanted to remember her mother's life with fondness, not her death with bitterness, anger, and grief. But no matter how pretty they made it, she couldn't stand before this particular piece of granite and read the name Johanna Beckett without feeling sadness.

She felt his hand on her back and almost pulled away. Right now, the physical contact was making her more emotional, and she was trying to get away from that. But as she frantically blinked back the tears that wouldn't stop coming, she found that what he was doing was different from anything he'd ever done before. He was standing in front of her now, very close, and moving closer, his hand still on her back. He wrapped his other arm around her as well, and she knew what this was. She buried her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him as well. Dear God. She was hugging Castle.

Rather than comforting her, though, this action seemed to increase her sobs. She didn't know why, it was almost a reflex. Again she wished she could turn it off, but she couldn't. So she just allowed it, allowed herself to fall apart, allowed him to run his hands up and down her back, to help her catch the pieces before they hit the ground.

Eventually she managed to catch her breath and slowly lifted her head to look at him. Her teary eyes met his clear blue ones, and she realized just how close their faces were. Just a little nudge, a misplaced jerk, could end with her lips against his. And just how misplaced would that be?

Very. Very misplaced. This was Castle. It couldn't happen. Could it? No. Of course not.

"Let's go," she whispered instead.

"You sure? The sun hasn't quite set yet."

She nodded. "I'm sure. We can't do anything else here. And this place… it's not her. I don't remember her here. There's no connection."

"Is there somewhere you do feel a connection?"

She nodded.

"Perfect. Let's go, then."

She nodded and turned away from the newly decorated grave, allowing herself one last look.

"We did a pretty good job with that, didn't we?" he asked her just as they left. "Looks nice."

She nodded. "It's gorgeous. Thank you. For buying the flowers, and for helping me arrange them, and for… everything else."

Rather than verbally responding, he extended his hand. And rather than worrying about the implications of that, she took it. They walked all the way back to his car like this, and whatever relationships she'd been in, she felt less alone now than she had in years.

"Turn left. Yeah, that parking lot there."

"There?" He frowned.

"Castle, yeah. Trust me. Just park."

He raised his fingertips off of the steering wheel in a gesture of surrender and pulled into the lot she mentioned. She understood his confusion. It didn't look like much. And it really wasn't much. It was just a parking lot, and it wasn't in a great area. She'd actually arrested people in this part of town on more than a few occasions. But he knew that this whole day was already hard enough for her, and was totally compliant. He pulled into one of the spots and got out of the car and dropped a quarter into the meter. There weren't a lot of parking lots in the city in general, and there were even fewer that still used old-fashioned coin meters instead of the newer computerized ones, but this was one of them. It had been here for as long as she could remember.

She met him outside of the car and leaned against the hood, but said nothing.

"How long are we going to be here?" he asked her. "How much time do we need?"

"Not long. Just one quarter should be enough."

He nodded. "Okay, lead the way."

She remembered the feeling of his hand around hers as they'd walked back to the car earlier, how comfortable it had felt. She took a step in the direction they were heading and extended her hand to him. He looked at it for a second as though it might be an illusion, and blinked twice. When he found that it was still there he took it, enveloping her hand once again in the gentle warmth of his firm grip.

She let him catch up to her, and though she still led they walked side by side. Walls of concrete seemed to close in around them as they walked in between the buildings, just as she remembered doing so many years ago, holding a very different hand. Castle kept looking at her, both keeping tabs on her expression and trying to figure out where she was taking them. He was following her lead as he had before, not saying anything because she wasn't, but she could tell he was struggling. Finally he let the words break through. "We're not even going to be able to see the sunset if we go much further. I thought that was what you wanted?"

She almost smiled and gave a little nod, leading him still further into the buildings. "You'll see."

After about another block, the building she was looking for came into view. She felt a surge of relief that it was still here, although until this moment the thought hadn't crossed her mind that it might not be. She led Castle to the front steps and sat down, motioning for him to do the same. He studied his surroundings for a moment and then did, so close to her that they almost touched.

"This is a library?" he asked after reading the plaque near the entrance.

She nodded. "My mom used to bring me here all the time when I was a kid. I don't know why this library, exactly… there were a lot of nicer libraries with better selections, and that were closer to where we lived. There must've been some resource here that she needed for one of her cases… I was too young to understand her work at the time, and when I got older I never thought to ask. But she'd do her research and I'd just read, sometimes for hours. When we were still here at sunset, she'd put everything aside and take me right out here where we're sitting now."

Castle looked at the gray concrete that at the moment seemed to be about the only thing visible from their current position. He looked at her, his face as blank as she'd ever seen it. "Why?"

She elbowed him gently. "I know it's not your style, Castle, but try to be patient for just a minute. It's not time yet. You'll see."

He nodded, and she felt his eyes still trained on her face, although she wasn't looking at him. His hand was still clasped around hers from where they sat on the steps, made of the same gray concrete as nearly everything else around them. But another color was slowly being added to the scene, or colors, more accurately, as the windows across the street gleamed first white, then yellow, then orange, and then almost red. She felt a smile spread across her face as the colors spread across the windows, and she nodded for Castle to look. She wanted to share this with someone, as her mother had shared it with her so many years ago.

For the first time since they sat down he turned away from her and focused on the windows, although she could've sworn when he did this she felt his hand tighten around hers just a little, as if to assure she didn't disappear, or try to leave, now that he wasn't watching. "Wow," he whispered.

For a long moment, both stared at the windows. But then Castle's ever-short attention span won over, and his gaze began flicking from the windows to her face and back every few seconds. She fought the urge to roll her eyes but managed not to. She was enjoying the moment and didn't want to ruin it. So she kept her stillness, focusing only on the glow of the windows, although his face stayed in the corner of her eye and her consciousness.

Today was the first time that, on the anniversary of her mother's death, she was able to take a moment and actually enjoy it. Actually focus on a fond memory of her mother's life rather than the devastating details of her murder. Much like being comforted, she was surprised that it didn't feel disrespectful. It felt right. And she knew that Castle was a big part of the reason she was able to feel this way.

As the sun's glare started to fade from the windows and they began to darken again, she finally looked away from them and turned to look at Castle. He matched the small smile that she still wore, but looked a little confused, as though he wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to do. So again, she took the lead and leaned in toward him.

"Kate, what…?" he murmured when their faces were just inches apart.

She silenced him by closing the gap, softly pressing her lips to his.

He was tentative at first, not sure how he should react, but then chemistry began to take over and he kissed her back, his lips responding to every movement of hers. He reached for her shoulder with his free hand, and this time she took his lead, allowing her free hand to rest on his back.

When they separated again the windows were almost dark, the street's main illumination coming from the streetlights. She turned away from him, a little embarrassed, feeling like she'd let her emotions get the better of her. The moment hadn't been right. She didn't look even remotely attractive, she was bouncing from happy to sad to everything in between like a ping-pong ball, and he was simply giving in to her every whim out of pity.

But when she tried to let go of his hand, he held hers tighter. He nudged her chin gently, coaxing her to look at him again. She did, first turning in his direction before convincing herself to meet his eyes. When she finally did, gazing into the surprisingly deep pool of blue, he said only one word. "Wow."

I haven't been able to say this about anything I've written in awhile, but... as a whole, I like this chapter. Very much. I think there's progress made in a few different areas, and I like how I wrote a lot of it. I briefly considered just ending this story here, but I think I want to write one more chapter to tie up some loose ends and kind of bring it full-circle, if that makes sense without getting too specific. But if you like this chapter as an ending and think it would be better if I left it as-is, definitely let me know that. I might not listen, but I will absolutely consider your opinion.

Random sidebar, because I know a few fellow Gilmore Girls fans were at least reading this at one point... As I wrote a lot of the last scene of this I was listening to "Reflecting Light" by Sam Phillips (Luke and Lorelai's first-dance song, if you're not as much of a diehard as I am...) and I realized how insanely well it fit the scene. Some of the lyrics, and just the feel of the song... so I tried to sort of put a little of that into it. (I actually made a playlist... "Meteor Shower" by Owl City, mostly for the melody, and "Parachute" by Train, mostly for the lyrics, get honorable mentions as far as influencing the tone of the scene. I'm kind of a music freak. Without music, most of my writing would not exist because I'd never be inspired.) But after the whole thing with the windows... "Reflecting Light" was more perfect than I would've thought possible.

Anyway. Wow. The sidebar was longer than the first part of the note. I'm very easily distracted. I haven't updated this in awhile so I clearly haven't reminded you of this in awhile... but I love reviews! So... make me happy? :) Thanks in advance! And thanks for reading!