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"Blue balloons?"
"Check."
"Blue streamers?"
"Check."
"Blue table cloth?"
"With small little blue birds fluttering on the edges, check, check."
"Don't say flutter Finn."
"Don't judge me Puck."
"Blue corsage?"
"A corsage?" Finn asked in confusion as he halted their check list procedure and looked up, Puck furrowing his brows in confusion as he glared at the list, "Jesus, how fucking fancy is this baby shower gonna be? I didn't plan on a suit and tie."
"I know, I have to actually put pants on," Puck groaned as he ran his pen over the list, sighing to himself as he began re-editing their necessities, "And I definitely mixed up the baby shower and wedding lists again."
"Oh Puck, how could you?"
"Fuck off, 'least I'm being helpful. What are you doing?"
"Wondering how the hell they got this small balloon in this big one," Finn cooed in fascination as he pointed to the floating decoration, giggling lowly while he tapped the balloon.
"Finn, get your shit together," Puck snapped as he grabbed the string on the bottle balloon and jerked it away, Finn's face falling sadly as he watched it drift off, "This damn thing is tomorrow and we still don't have food ordered."
"Ugh, fine," Finn groaned painfully as he headed back over to the decoration box, "But why is it again that you're planning this baby shower?"
"Because Quinn's helping Rachel and Kurt with Carole and Burt's wedding and the last thing she needs is more on her plate," Puck mumbled as he tried to make heads and tails of how to curl a streamer, "Which is why we're here, surrounded by blue balls."
"Dude-"
"Don't make this awkward."
"Well then why is it that I'm helping you plan this baby shower?"
"Because if you don't start doing shit Rachel's gonna drop you like the sack you are," Puck said flatly, "Plus you've gained five pounds and you're looking a little rough these days. Thought a little activity would do you good."
"Dude, so uncalled for," Finn whined as he rubbed his stomach, "It's the holiday season-"
"It's fucking pie. And anyways it's April man, what holiday have you been celebrating?"
"Ya know…Earth day," Finn replied slowly as he scratched his forehead, Puck snorting in surprise he actually had an answer.
"You got that from Emory."
"Still an acceptable answer." Puck flicked Finn off as he continued struggling with the streamer in his hand, cursing in frustration after nicking himself and tossing the scissors across the room.
"Look, I don't know shit about baby showers or parties or any of this crap-"
"Neither do I!"
"But I figure if the two of us put our heads together then we oughtta be able to figure something out, right?" Finn thought it over quietly as he shook a jar of confetti, staring between it and Puck menacingly.
"Did you mean what you said about my weight?"
"'Course not baby, you look good anything," Puck cooed as he batted his eyelashes, Finn glaring angrily as he rolled his eyes.
"You're being condescending."
"How the fuck do you know what that means?"
"Do you want my help or not?" Puck ran his hand down his face slowly as he tried to keep his temper down, the floating balloon in the corner catching his eye as he went for it.
"Here," he said forcefully as he shoved it back into Finn's hands, "And you're not fat, you're…shapely. I like curves. Now will you help me?" Finn looked up in awe as a grin spread back over his face, tugging on the string and watching in wonder as Puck shook his head in dismay.
"Fine, but I want a piñata."
"It's a baby shower, not a fucking fiesta Finn."
"Parties have piñata's, Emory had one. And I'm pretty sure I've seen them in the shapes of bottles and stuff before too."
"…seriously? 'Cause that sounds kinda awesome, not gonna lie."
"Yeah dude! And I mean, I get it's a boy, but how much fucking blue do we need? It looks like a Smurf exploded in here." Puck looked around at the table full of blue and glanced back at Finn who was grinning ear to ear.
"Well…what'd you have in mind?"
"No."
"Beth-"
"No freaking way mom."
"Honey please-"
"I look like a casing of sausage."
"Oh nonsense-"
"My ass looks like kittens playing in a pillow case."
"Beth stop-"
"I'm not wearing this, I'm not coming out."
Quinn bit her lip angrily as she kicked her shoe against the carpet, her and Beth having gone round and round in the fitting room all morning. They were there for alterations on Carole's bridesmaid dresses and at eight months Beth was miserable, her dress too tight and her heels too high.
"Beth, sweetheart please, if you don't come out we can't fix it."
"It can't be fixed mom, my body is a travesty."
"Oh Beth come on! You are beautiful no matter what! Now get your little ass out here before I leave you in there!" The door to the fitting room jangled and swung open to reveal a red faced Beth, hair disheveled and dress crooked as she stood there fuming.
"Mom…"
"Ok, ok, we can work with this," Quinn said optimistically as she worked her way around her daughter's belly, the undone zipper and broken strap just the beginning of what needed to be fixed.
"Mom it's no use, I can't fit into anything anymore," Beth pouted as she slumped down into the chair, a sharp tear breaking through her tears and causing even more to fall.
"Oh honey, it's ok!" Quinn soothed as she fought back laughter, resting her head on Beth's shoulder as she bit her lip, "It's not the end of the world!"
"No, just the end of my body…childhood…vagina-"
"Don't make it worse," Quinn whispered as she rubbed Beth's back, the sudden entrance of Rachel and Carole causing her to look up.
"How'd it-oh," Carole moaned, her and Rachel eyeing the monstrosity on Beth and staring in horror.
"It's bad, it's bad isn't? I knew it, I knew it!" Beth wailed as she flicked a string of lace off the hem, Rachel and Carole frantically hurrying over to cover their tracks.
"No baby no! I just meant oh my God! So gorgeous!"
"Really, the dress is fine Beth!…I didn't know there was a split there! Not that it's bad-"
"It's not a split, I just tore it," Beth answered miserably, Rachel nudging Carole's shoulder as Beth continued to sob.
"Doll please, it's gonna be ok," Quinn tried again, "Look Beth, this we can fix, and it's not you! It's this little baby in here growing bigger and bigger! You're aren't fat hon, you're pregnant."
"What's the difference when your bursting at the seams of everything?"
"Literally," Rachel mumbled, Carole returning the nudge as Quinn shot her a death glare.
"Beth please, just clam down. Tell you what, take off the dress and we'll just get a new one ok? I'm sure Carole would understand right?" Quinn pleaded with her eyes, Carole nodding immediately as she brushed it off.
"Of course, you know I wasn't too fond of that color anyways."
"It's the same color as the other dresses," Beth shot back in confusion, Rachel looking away awkwardly as Carole fumbled for an answer.
"…I-it-just get another one ok Beth? Really, that dress wasn't my favorite anyways!" Carole tried desperately, Beth wiping her cheeks as she stood.
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok sweetheart, you're fine." The young girl sniffled as she turned to leave, the three women stifling laughs as they noticed the zipper having come undone to reveal Beth's backside.
"Poor thing," Rachel sighed as she grabbed her phone, her face changing suddenly to confusion as she read her texts.
"What's up?" Quinn asked as she watched in amusement.
"Finn asked me where we keep the blowtorch," Rachel read as she looked up, Quinn's stomach falling as she rolled her eyes.
"I swear to God-"
"What?" Carole asked.
"I-I sort of let Puck plan Beth's baby shower. I just had a lot going on and he was so sweet to volunteer, but now Finn's helping and…" Rachel looked back down at her text and up to Quinn, the two of them kicking themselves for what they had agreed to.
"Fireworks?"
"Probably."
"Cops?"
"Absolutely."
"Well at least it'll be interesting!"
"Mom where are we going?"
"To the address on the paper."
"I know, but what is it?"
"Not really sure Beth, not really sure."
"Well shouldn't we know? This is kind of my baby shower and all…"
"Think of it as a surprise sweetie!" Quinn forced out as she clapped her hands on the steering wheel, Beth un-amused by her mother and turning back to the window. They'd been driving for half an hour now thanks to Puck's hand made road map, Beth clawing at the window for food as Quinn prayed nothing would be wrong.
"Ok, I turn left here," she whispered as she followed the jagged ink line, looking up from her hand to see the parking lot they were pulling into.
"Mom-"
"Oh my God," Quinn groaned as she rested her head on the steering wheel, Beth still staring as she turned her head.
"Does that sign say "Congratulations on your graduation?"
"I don't know, I can't look," Quinn whimpered as she gripped the steering wheel, banging her head up and down as she breathed.
"Mom, is that-mom come on!" Beth screamed as she got out of the car, Quinn still muttering to herself as she finally looked up. An arcade. Puck had chosen to hold the baby shower of their first, and now probably last, grandchild at the arcade. Outside he'd hung all of Quinn's blue decorations with the graduation sign resting crooked in the middle.
"I can't even…" Quinn trailed off slowly as she forced herself out of the car and towards the building.
Upon entering the door Quinn was met with screaming, sticky children and loud music, the bright glare of the video games and overhead lights giving her an immediate headache. She looked around for some sort of sign of her friends and family and was met with another explosion of blue.
"Baby! Whatcha think?" Quinn turned around slowly to see Puck and Finn running up eagerly, Finn holding a string of tickets in his hand as Puck counted coins.
"Puck, what the hell is this?" Quinn growled lowly as she looked between them, both of their faces falling as she threw her hands up.
"What?" he asked confused.
"Congratulations on your graduation?"
"Graduation of birth!" He and Finn said in unison, high fiving as the explained the meaning.
"Puck!"
"Well they ran out of baby showers ones, so it was either this or "Merry Christmas!"
"I still say we should've gone with "Get Well Soon." I mean afterwards, ya know, her body and-"
"Don't talk about my kids body."
"I'm not!"
"You're doing it again, you're making it awkward."
"Puck!" Quinn shouted, interrupting the two bickering boys and bringing them back to her.
"Quinn, what? It's just a baby shower, deal."
"A baby sho-a bab-Puck! This is chaos! This isn't a baby shower it's a child's party!"
"Aren't they really the same thing?" Finn asked abruptly, the eyes he received from Quinn hushing him instantly.
"Quinn, what's the big deal?" Puck asked as he shrugged.
"The big deal? Puck this is our daughters baby shower and we're supposed to be celebrating and instead we're whacking the mole and riding pretend jet skies!"
"And we're fucking owning it like a boss!" Finn cheered, Quinn not even having to look his way before he stopped talking.
"We are celebrating babe, look around," Puck smiled, Quinn turning to find her family and friends sprawled out through the small arcade, "I mean I don't know about you but Kurt and Jacob look like they're having a blast at that Whack A Mole, and Beth hasn't even said a word to me, her and Balen are in their own little world." Quinn turned to see Beth and Balen playing one of the games with a few kids from school, the group giggling and laughing non stop as they booed and cheered them on.
"Look, I know you had this all going a certain way, but I just figured why not let them have fun ya know? One last good time with all their friends before they have to become parents and get all serious. I'm not saying they won't ever have fun again, but things are about to change for them. Shouldn't they get to have some fun, their kind of fun, before all that happens?" Quinn continued looking around before turning back to Puck, sighing as she smiled and shrugging.
"You're right."
"What was that?" Puck asked flabbergasted as he cupped his ear, "I'm sorry, I'm hard of hearing, you said-"
"You're right, ok?" Quinn snapped annoyed, pushing Puck's hands away as she scoffed, "You're right, this should be about Beth and Balen. Even though they aren't graduating-"
"Graduation of birth!" Puck and Finn corrected angrily, Quinn throwing her hands up in defense as she carried on.
"Anyways, it is about Beth and Balen and if they're having fun then why shouldn't we?"
"That's the spirit mama, come on," Puck grinned as he pulled her in tightly, Finn shaking his head in disgust as Quinn squealed.
"Ok, ok, alright, get off," she laughed as she pulled apart, eyeing her surroundings and quickly grabbing at the coins in Puck's hand, "Betcha I can beat you in that car race over there."
"You fucking lost it? No way babe, no way."
"Wanna bet?" Quinn winked as she swayed side to side, Puck arching his brow as he nodded.
"Loser buys funnel cakes."
"Winner get's sex against the pin ball machine."
"Deal!"
"I won! Fair and fucking square!"
"Whatever! I beat you, I was first!"
"Faulty machine, I won and you know it."
Puck and Quinn continued arguing up the drive as they made their inside the house, each of their arms loaded with bags and boxes full of gifts.
"Well you didn't get pinball sex so I guess I won."
"Only because that little kid was playing on it. Otherwise…" Quinn rolled her eyes as she set the gifts down in the living room, Beth and Balen following behind as they laughed and shouted.
"Dad, seriously, best baby shower ever!" Beth smiled as she threw her arms around his neck, "I never knew they could be so awesome! I don't think I've had that much fun in awhile, thanks dad, really."
"Anything for my favorite daughter."
"I'm your only daughter."
"That we know of." Quinn smacked Puck as she began moving the boxes and bags upstairs, Beth plopping down on the couch and opening a few up.
"I think I've got everything a baby could ever possibly need," she grinned while picking up a pair of tiny blue sneakers.
"Oh not quite yet that reminds me," Puck snapped as he headed to the bookcase, Beth looking up to see her dad tugging on an old, tattered photo album.
"Dad, what-"
"Now you can't laugh at me ok?" Puck said softly as he flung himself on the couch, handing the book over to Beth and letting her flip it open.
"Dad is that-is that you?" Beth laughed as she pointed to the picture on the first page, a smiling, chubby baby with thick brown curls staring back.
"Yup, that'd be me, ham hocks and all," Puck pointed as he chuckled, Beth flipping through the following pages to find her father in various stages of his childhood.
"So what is this? Is this your baby book or something?" Beth asked as she laughed at a photo of her father on the ground after having fallen off his bike.
"Well, it's mine," Puck said as he flipped forward quickly, "And yours." Beth looked to see a bright pink page standing out, a picture of her and her mom in a hospital bed placed in the middle.
"Your Mi Ma made this for me when I was a baby, and she kept up with all the crap I ever did. I mean I have a lock of hair somewhere in here," he snorted as he pointed to a tiny envelope, "So anyways, when I found out I was having you she wanted to make you one too. Well, that didn't make since to me. 'Cause you're a part of my life, a part of me, so instead I made her add your baby book to mine. That way, when I looked through it I could see the one thing in my life I'm most proud of."
"Dad-"
"And now, you're gonna have it and add your baby to it, so that when you look through it you can do the same. Keep our Puckerman tradition of good looking youngens alive."
"And I had gone all day without crying," Beth whimpered as she ran a finger under her eye, Puck pecking her forehead as he rubbed her back.
"Well, that's my gift to you. Besides, you know, life and all."
"Best one ever, I don't think you'll ever know how much it means to me," Beth smiled, "I'm gonna go put it up right now so it's safe."
"Good," Puck nodded as he watched her go, "Hey Beth! One thing!"
"Yeah," the young girl hollered as she stepped back in the room.
"Wanna show me how much it means?"
"I could try."
"Noah, N-O-A-H. It's a great name babe."
"Dad-"
"Better then Noelle!"
"Had to go and ruin the moment."
"What? Fine, whatever, congratulations on your awesome present, your welcome!"
"Congratulations on your graduation!"