Edward had reconsidered the clothes as he ran to find a Hardware store. He figured there was no point, if he was going to die anyway.
As Edward walked into Ace Hardware, a salesman walked up to him immediately.
"Can I help you sir?", he asked.
Edward, who had lost enough time with the stupid police chase and getting new clothes ignored him and raced to the power tools section.
Suddenly, the doors of the store burst open.
"There he is! I found him!", shouted Rosalie.
The rest of the Cullens, minus Alice raced in.
Edward groaned and raced through the power tools aisle.
Grabbing the biggest, nastiest-looking chainsaw he could find, he breezed past the salesman and ran out the door.
Not only did Edward not have any money on him, he also couldn't bring himself to care.
"HEY!" shouted the salesman, "That's $402.95!"
"Uhhm, he-he's in a really big hurry", Rosalie lied. "I was going to pay for that for him"
Shaking his head, the salesman headed towards the counter as Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett followed Edward out the door.
Rosalie smiled at the salesman, who promptly stuttered and gave her the employee discount.
Meanwhile, Edward was looking for a place to power up the chainsaw and finally just die already!
He found a small park and powered up the chainsaw.
Lifting it above his head, he gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. Probably better not to watch.
Suddenly, a child's voice cut through the whirring of the chainsaw.
"Mommy what is that man doing?", asked a little girl who had paused in her swinging to stare at Edward curiously.
Her mother, sitting nearby on a park bench, looked up and saw Edward.
She screamed and whipped out her cell phone and grabbed her little girl, racing away as fast as possible.
Luckily, Carlisle caught up to her before she could call 911.
"It's, er, a, uhmm a publicity stunt", he lied to the lady as he smoothly grabbed the cell phone and snapped it shut. "No need to be alarmed"
The lady gave him a weird look and marched off with her daughter, muttering about weirdos.
Back in the park, Edward had managed to attract the attention of several shocked passersby, and he was still holding the chainsaw above his head, a little embarrassed to have people watching his death.
As Emmett and Jasper repeated Carlisle's "publicity stunt" lie and prevented them from calling 911, Esme rushed up to Edward.
"Please no!", she begged him. "You can't do this. Not only do you risk getting arrested and exposing the vampire world, we'd all miss you, we don't want you to die".
"Sorry Esme", said Edward, and, still holding the running Chainsaw, he sprinted off.
If she were human, her eyes would have filed with tears as she stood and watched Edward run away.
After a few minutes, Edward found a small clearing surrounded by trees. Lifting the chainsaw once more, he brought it down hard on his chest.
Instead of killing him instantly, sparks rained down and he saw that the blade had received a huge dent.
Shocked but undeterred, he repeatedly brought the chainsaw down on various parts of his body, but instead of slicing him to shreds, all that happened was the chainsaw got banged up and the sparks he'd caused set a few nearby twigs briefly alight.
Edward made sure the chainsaw was on its highest setting before trying again, but with the same results.
While Edward was still unscathed, the chainsaw, on the other hand, looked as though it had been in use for years as opposed to about five minutes.
The blade was dented and broken in some places, and the plastic handle was melted and burned.
Edwards clothing had fared no better. His shirt was covered in ragged holes and slashes, and had burn marks all over it, and his pants were in such a state that not even a hobo would have deigned to wear them.
Edward picked up the chainsaw for a final attempt.
He tried to jam the whirring chainsaw blade into his eye, but instead of killing him or slicing him, it simply melted from the venom in his eyes.
As the chainsaw blade melted into a large silver puddle, Edward groaned. What was he supposed to do now?