Welcome to Armageddon!
Author: Milady Dragon
Disclaimer: Not mine! And I'm really upset about that.
Author's note: Well, this is the last chapter. There's only an epilogue, and then this trip into insanity is over. There may be more at some point, but it depends on what the bunnies say. Thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, and alerting and adding to favorites. You're all awesome.
All the PA's came down from the roof, chattering about the Armageddon and making comments about just how hot all the Horsemen were, in their robes and on horseback.
Gwen didn't speak. She was too much in awe of it all. Seeing Apocalypse and his Horsemen in all their glory had been amazing, and not something she'd be likely to forget. She found herself comparing it to what she'd witnessed in Guardians, and it just couldn't. This was the very first time she'd ever gotten close to a Celestial Being, and it was a rush to say the least.
Once again, Gwen found herself doubting that this was the place she was supposed to be. She was a middle-management person, and not someone who ever thought she'd be in the position she was now. But, Owen must have seen something in her, right? Something in her CV must have gained his attention, and made him want her as his PA.
All she could do was the best she could. But the paperwork was going to drive her insane!
They all spilled out of the lift and onto their floor. "We've got a bit of time before we're needed again," Donna said, "so why don't I make us a coffee?"
"I made us some cakes," Rose said. "They even have those edible ball bearings on them."
"I understand the Big Guy likes those," Diane replied.
"You mean…" Gwen faded out, pointing her finger toward the ceiling.
"Yep," Rose enthused. "Jack's met him, and he says Good is pretty hot."
"If you like skinny boys in suits," Donna scoffed, heading toward the kitchenette. "At least our suit boy fills his out nicely."
"You met Good?" No, Gwen didn't just squeak…again.
Donna busied herself at the coffee machine. "Yep. He tried to lure Ianto away to work for him as an Archangel, but the Boss turned him down. Said he enjoyed being Death."
"More like he enjoyed being Apocalypse's bed partner," Diane scoffed.
"And lift partner, and cupboard partner, and across Apocalypse's desk partner…" Rose practically sang it.
Death had turned down Good for a job? Gwen knew she had to look gobsmacked. How could anyone do that, even if they were getting mind-blowing sex?
"Oi, you two," Donna snapped. "You know it's more than that."
"Donna's right," Tosh backed her up. "You've seen the CCTV."
Rose and Diane turned serious, nodding in agreement. "But you have to admit," Rose said, "those two get up to it anywhere and anytime."
"They can't keep their hands off each other," Tosh said. "I think it's sweet. Gwen, your computer is beeping."
It took her a full ten seconds to recognize the subject change. Gwen started, muttered an apology, then went to check on it.
An IM window had opened on her monitor.
Azrael: Good morning, Ms Cooper.
Gwen slid into her chair as she looked at the single sentence. The head of Angel Dispatch was IM'ing her?
She quickly typed in a greeting.
Azrael: Welcome to Armageddon, Ms Cooper. I hope you're settling in all right.
Gwen Cooper: So far, I seem to be. Thanks.
Azrael: You're welcome. I do hate to bring this up, but there appears to be some discrepancies between the Angel Requisition request you sent me via PDA, and the actual form you submitted. I have sent the form back to you to review.
Gwen's heart hammered. How was that possible? She'd been careful, she could have sworn…
She accessed her email, opening the attachment Azrael had sent to her. Everything looked all right, that she could see.
Gwen Cooper: I don't see what the problem is, I'm sorry.
Azrael: Instead of inputting the names of the required Angels from the 'Available' file, you used the "Active' one. When I began the dispatch process, I noticed that the Angels listed were already on assignment.
A quick look at the Angel spreadsheets proved that Azrael was right. But how was that possible? Gwen knew she'd looked at the correct files. She wanted to argue about it, but the proof that she'd messed up was staring at her from her monitor.
Azrael: If you could make the corrections immediately, I cannot dispatch Pestilence's Angels without that form, and as the Horsemen are currently on-site of an Armageddon, there is some urgency to have this done as soon as possible.
Gwen Cooper: I'll get it back to you ASAP.
Her fingers were trembling as she typed that. She'd thought things had been going so well, and now this…well, all she could do was fix it.
"Is there something wrong?"
Gwen started, looking up to where Rose stood, a coffee mug and small pink cake on a napkin in her hands. She played with the idea of just blurting it out, but a part of her didn't want the other PA's to know she'd made such a mistake. "Just need to finish up a form," she said brightly. "I'm not as quick with the paperwork as you lot are."
Rose grinned, but there was something in the expression that said that she wasn't sure she totally believed it. "Well, finish that up and come and join us. Here's your coffee and cake." She set her gifts down on the desktop, avoiding the inset keyboard. "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it." She turned and rejoined the other PA's at the kitchenette, where they were laughing and enjoying their break.
She sighed. No break for her.
It took her about twenty minutes to finish the form; all the time very much aware that she was actually holding up an Armageddon. Gwen would have finished sooner, but she was now just paranoid enough that she wanted to make sure it was correct this time.
Finally, as sure as she could be that she'd gotten it right, Gwen sent the document back to Angel Dispatch, IM'ing Azrael that she'd done so.
Azrael: Thank you, Ms Cooper. I hope the rest of your day goes well.
Gwen sighed, shutting down the IM window. She didn't think it could get worse.
She was wrong.
The Armageddon seemed to last forever, although Gwen knew it was only very early in the morning when things began to slow down again, signaling the end. She'd managed to call Rhys and tell him she would be late, although she hadn't been able to explain why. Her boyfriend had understood, but Gwen could tell he was dying for an explanation. She'd have to wait until she saw him, it was just too strange to tell over the phone.
She and the other PA's had had about an hour of quiet before they had to start things up again. It wasn't paperwork this time; it was a stream of data that had Gwen dizzy with confusion. Tosh had kindly explained to her that this was real-time streaming of what each Horseman was doing. They were mainly having to do with souls being harvested, and in what way they'd died. Because this Armageddon was rather Pestilence-heavy, most of the dead would have been killed by the virus that had been set loose, and that meant all of that information would funnel its way through Gwen's terminal. Only Donna had it worse; at least there were other causes of death in this, even if those causes were few and far between. Everyone in an Armageddon died, and so came under Death's purview.
With Rose and Diane's help – Tosh had to take care of Apocalypse's data, and there was even more of that than what Gwen and Donna had to deal with – Gwen managed to get the streaming down to a manageable level. She still didn't really understand most of it, but was able to recognize enough to make sure that all that information got to where it needed to go…for the most part. She hoped she wasn't making any more mistakes. The one with Azrael had been bad enough.
By the time it all began to wind down, Gwen was exhausted and she had a headache. Her fingers were no longer certain on her keyboard and her wrists and back were sore. All she wanted to do was go home and curl up in bed with Rhys, and never get out of it again.
Rose had obligingly given her a list of after-Armageddon paperwork that needed doing, but this one didn't seem as daunting as the one she'd had to work from before events. Gwen took another sip of her coffee, rubbing her eyes wearily. The computer screen was starting to blur a bit and the caffeine didn't seem to be as effective anymore. She really hoped that this was nearly done, because she didn't think she'd be able to do much more without making the mistakes she was dreading.
What really irritated her was that the other PA's seemed to be just fine. She couldn't judge Tosh, since she'd gone back up to Apocalypse's floor to work on her own assignment, but the other three looked just as strong as they had at the beginning of the previous day. It just wasn't fair, and a small part of her was whispering to her that they were used to working like this, that it was just her inexperience, but she wasn't listening. Gwen Cooper wanted to do her job properly, and on the first try.
Gwen didn't dare look at her watch, because she really didn't want to know how long she'd been sitting at her desk. She stretched, her back cracking. The form she was working on blurred a bit more, and the lukewarm coffee wasn't helping any.
She hadn't realized that Apocalypse and the Horsemen had returned until she heard her name shouted from the lift area.
Gwen's head went up. The five beings were exiting the lift, looking much like they had when she'd met them: five men, dressed casually. Only the symbols of their offices gave them away. They looked as tired as Gwen was feeling.
All except Owen, of course. He was looking livid.
Pestilence stormed over to her desk, waving his staff as if he was going to hit her. "Just what the fuck happened?" he shouted. "Can't you even handle simple paperwork without screwing it up?"
Gwen's mouth dropped open. Yes, she'd known she was bound to get some sort of dressing down over the Requisition form, but she hadn't expected it to be so loud…and so public. She could feel the eyes of everyone on her as Owen ranted on.
"The Armageddon was delayed because of you! Are you so stupid that you can't even follow simple directions?"
That was enough. Gwen felt herself go from embarrassed to angry in the space of a heartbeat.
She stood, the better to face her erstwhile boss. "Just one minute!" she snapped. "In case you've forgotten, this is my first day here! I made a mistake, but I fixed it, and I'm willing to admit that I screwed up. But don't you dare call me stupid or any other names! I'm not, I'm just doing the best I can with a new job that I didn't even apply for! You're the one who hired me, Owen Harper…so anything I do goes back to you. I didn't even consider applying up here…I just wanted a job in Provocation, where I thought my skills would be appreciated. But no…you had to choose my CV! I'm not even sure why! There's nothing in it that says I've ever done anything like this! Or, did you hire me just because I have a 'pert arse', I believe you said earlier? If so, I can't think much of your hiring practices! You're a disagreeable, argumentative, egotistical prat, and I've picked that up just in the hours I've known you!"
A small part of her, deep in the back of her mind, was screaming at her that she was currently pissing off one of the most powerful men in Armageddon, and that if she still wanted to work there she'd have to back off. But she was too far gone; she hadn't even worked with Pestilence all that much, but she already knew she'd be miserable with him. The entire Department was filled with nothing but crazies, and all she wanted was something normal. She was tired, and she'd missed dinner, and Rhys was waiting for her at home.
But there was something in Owen's face, almost a gleeful look that made her even angrier. "Now, that's what I call a PA," he grinned. "You'll do just fine, Cooper."
Gwen's eyes went wide. He wasn't even saying that his attitude was a test, was he? Oh no, he didn't! "Forget it," she snapped, waggling a finger under his nose. "The last thing I want to do is work for you! You can take this job and shove it up your arse!" There was a part of her that wanted to punch him in that smug face, but instead she gathered up her bag and flounced toward the lift.
No one came after her, and it was only when she was in the lift and turned back toward the office, that Gwen realized it wasn't because they were happy she was gone…they were too much in shock to say anything, simply staring as the doors slid shut.
A great weight that she didn't even know she was wearing seemed to vanish from her shoulders. Yes, being PA to a Horseman was a prestigious job, but it was far too boring for her tastes. All that bloody paperwork…maybe it really wasn't Owen's attitude that had caused her to leave, but was only the last straw. She knew the job they did was important, but it wasn't for her.
In the morning – well, later on in the day – she'd see if that position in Provocation was still open.
The lift dumped her out into the lobby. It wasn't so busy as it had been when she'd arrived yesterday, and as she walked past the reception desk she noticed that Emma-Louise was either still on duty, or had left and come back and had really strange shifts.
"Gwen!" the young woman called her back. "I have something for you."
"I'm not working up there anymore," Gwen said, not sure what the other woman wanted.
Emma-Louise sighed. "I think Apocalypse is gonna really kill Pestilence one of these days…but anyway, that doesn't matter. Here." She handed Gwen an envelope. "Although there'll only be one since you don't work for him anymore."
Gwen opened the envelope, laughing at the contents. "My boyfriend will love it."
It was a trading card. Her trading card, as Pestilence's PA. The picture wasn't half bad, either.
At least she had a souvenir in her time there. Maybe Rhys will actually believe her now.