AN: Disclaimer in earlier chapters. I own Chris and a few other OCs.
CHATPER 12
Chris was shocked to say the least but the familiarity of it felt safe. She returned the kiss and allowed Shay control over it.
"I missed you." Shay whispered pulling away shortly bringing their lips together again.
Chris froze. "I have to go."
Shay grabbed her before she could open the door. "No you don't." Shay smiled kissing her again. "I know you want it just as much as I do." She said between kisses.
"Shay, I have to get back to Carrie." Chris managed.
Shay pulled away. "Why? Is she your girlfriend?" Shay asked as Chris shook her head. "Then what's the problem, it's not like we haven't done this before." Shay said as Chris sighed. Why was she caring so much about this? Carrie was her sister. There was no chance in hell that they would ever be together.
"You're right." Chris muttered.
"We got time." Shay smiled climbing into the back.
Chris followed. What the hell was she doing?
Once they got home Chris bolted for the shower and tried to wash away the guilt like dirt.
"Is she ok?" Emily asked from the recliner.
Carrie shrugged. "I don't know, Shay was at school." Carrie said as Emily gasped.
"JJ, help me up the stairs." Emily said folding the recliner and trying to stand.
"Who's Shay?" JJ asked helping Emily to her feet.
"Apparently Chris' first love if she affected her that much." Carrie sighed taking a seat on the couch.
"She was, Chris came home one day and she looked dead." Emily said as they headed to the stairs.
They made it to the room to hear the shower running. Emily knocked.
"Chris?" Emily asked.
"Yeah?"
"Sweetie, can I come in?" Emily asked.
"If you want."
Emily walked in and shut the door behind her. She put the toilet seat down with the lid and sat on it looking at the wall.
"Are you ok?" Emily asked.
Chris really hated being asked that but she knew Emily was concerned. "No."
"What happened?" Emily asked. "I heard Shay was back."
Chris knew it was now or never. "I lied."
"About what?" Emily asked.
"Being a virgin."
Emily was shocked shitless. "What?"
"Three weeks before Shay left I told her I loved her and she said it back, it just happened."
"Do you regret it?" Emily asked.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I loved her and I still do."
"Are you in love with her?"
Chris sat on the tub floor and brought her knees up to her chest. "I don't know."
"Does she make you feel like she did before?"
"Not really but pretty damn close."
"Then why'd you have sex with her?"
Chris was…is there a word for it? "WHAT! OW!"
Emily laughed hearing the thud of Chris' head hitting the tile wall. "Remember after I broke up with my fiancé but slept with her the first chance we got?"
"Yeah." Chris grumbled rubbing her head.
"That's how I know; I went straight to the shower when I got home too." Emily said.
"You're not mad?"
"No, upset that you lied yes, but not mad." Emily said as the shower shut off and handed the towel that was beside her on the towel rack to Chris who pushed the shower curtain aside.
Chris wrapped the towel around herself and stepped out of the shower. "I'm sorry."
Emily pulled her into a one armed hug since her left was still in pain. "It's ok."
"How can you say that?"
"Because in time it will be you just need time to think." Emily said as Chris returned the hug.
JJ and Carrie who left after hearing about the lie left knowing it wasn't really their place were in the kitchen preparing dinner.
"How did you know you were into girls?" Carrie asked suddenly chopping the celery for the salad.
"What brought this on?" JJ asked as Carrie shrugged.
"Just curious, I was gonna ask Emily and Chris, but I kept getting side tracked." Carrie said putting the chopped celery in a bowl and grabbed a few carrots.
"I was in college and I met this girl, she was beautiful and extremely attractive, I was drawn to her almost instantly. After that I was questioning things. She made me feel weird and I didn't know what it was till I kissed her. But I always felt the need to be with her and a few weeks after getting it together in my head I came to the conclusion I liked girls." JJ said. "Why?"
"Just curious." Carrie dismissed cutting the carrot then flinched. "Ow."
JJ looked over to see her finger bleeding and was applying pressure to it. "I'll go get the first aid kit." JJ said searching the cabinets for the first aid kit.
Carrie stared at the cut as if in a daze. She poked it once and instead of pain she found release.
"Here we are." JJ said pulling the first aid kit out. "Carrie?" JJ asked trying to get her attention but Carrie's gaze was locked on the cut. "Carrie?"
"Huh?"
"I got the first aid kit." JJ said as Carrie looked at her and nodded. JJ bandages her finger up just as Chris walked down with Emily in her arms.
"Alright, you get down now." Chris said placing Emily on her feet.
"How I enjoy having an athlete that benches one forty." Emily said patting Chris' shoulder.
"You don't look like you do that." JJ said as Chris shrugged.
"I shouldn't but I do." Chris said stretching.
"Shouldn't?" Carrie asked her mind shoving the pain back.
"Biking accident when I was fourteen. We were biking up a trail in France and I turned a corner to fast and slid off the trail. I dislocated it and broke my collar bone." Chris said. "I was told to take it easy, not stop."
"Anyway, I was thinking salad and steaks for dinner." JJ said as Chris and Emily smiled.
"Great."
That night as Carrie stood in the shower she looked at her now bandaged finger. The pain felt good. It felt as if it were a release. She eyed her and Chris' razors and stared contemplating it in her head. Carrie reached for hers. Her hand wrapped around the handle. She brought it close to her face and eyed it. She lifted her wrist and looked between it and the razor in her other hand.
Razor met flesh and as she went to drag it there was a knock on the door.
"Carrie?" It was Chris.
She cleared her throat and put the razor back. "Yeah?"
"You ok? You've been in there for almost an hour." Chris said as Carrie stuck her head out the shower curtain to look at the clock and she had indeed been in for that allotted time.
"Yeah, just day dreaming." Carrie replied grabbing the conditioner.
"Ok."
Carrie quickly finished her shower and changed into her pajamas. She must have been in her dream like state again because Chris appeared in the doorway.
"Penny for them?" She asked snapping Carrie out of her daze.
"Huh?"
"Your thoughts." Chris chuckled. "I think you need some sleep."
Carrie scoffed. "What's the point? I always wake up every few hours." Carrie said bitterly grabbing her dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper.
Chris held out her hand. "Come on." Carrie took her hand wordlessly and allowed her to pull her out of the bathroom and their room all the way downstairs. "We'll be back." Chris said to Emily and JJ as she slipped on her shoes and handed Carrie hers.
"By midnight Chris." Emily called as Chris nodded and grabbed hers and Carrie's jackets when something fell from the rack.
"That's where they went." Chris said swiping her keys up off the floor.
Carrie followed Chris all the way to the Jeep. Chris helped her into the passenger seat and then got in the driver's.
"Where are we going?"
"Some place I found one night while driving." Chris said driving off.
"It's beautiful." Carrie gasped as Chris helped her out.
"Yeah, mom was away and I was on vacation so I drove and found this." Chris said motioning to the meadow. "I love to just lay out here and watch the stars." Chris said pointing up as she grabbed a sleeping bag from the trunk.
"So this is your own personal getaway?" Carrie asked as Chris nodded.
"Yep." Chris said spreading out the sleeping bag. Chris grabbed a pocket knife and shut the trunk.
They sat down on the sleeping bag until Chris pulled Carrie to her and laid down placing her head on her shoulder.
"The stars are the best part of this place; you can't really see them in the city." Chris said as Carrie looked up at them.
"Chris, do you still love Shay?" Carrie asked taking Chris off guard.
Chris took a deep breath. "I think I always will, you never forget your first."
"First?"
"First time, first real love."
"Real love?"
"Me and Lindsey cared about each other, but once we nearly had sex we figured out that we were better as good friends nothing more, then Shay came along and so did my first love." Chris sighed. "Why do you want to know?" Chris asked curiously.
"Just wondering, you looked ready to reject her all the way at lunch then you caved." Carrie pointed out as Chris sighed.
"Yeah, I tried, but like I said, you don't forget." Chris said as Carrie curled into her yawning. "Hey, don't fall asleep here."
"You can carry me." Carrie whined.
"Fine." Chris chuckled pulling her closer.
Two hours later Chris was carrying Carrie up to their room. She placed her in her bed and tucked her before going to her own bed. Chris took one step before Carrie grabbed the back of her shirt.
"Stay." Carrie mumbled almost incoherently.
Chris sighed and climbed in next to her and Carrie curled into her side. A tingling feeling shot all throughout Chris and she gulped audibly.
I hope you all liked this chapter.
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